What's your opinion

[njgirl0863]

Okay as we are all very much aware yesterday was Valentines Day. Yes there were so many different threads. Show your love; Hate Hallmark, Be My Valentine, All Alone, Lonely, etc... etc... etc...

I have one more thread, poll, question if you could just indulge me.....

If you have been together with someone for more than four years (not married) just in a committed relationship, and you spent time together a few nights before; dinner, exchanged cards & gifts.....

On Valentines Day what would your expectations be? If you did speak on the phone a few times, would you expect them to at least say Happy Valentines Day? Would it be excusable if they didn't say it all day and then at night you mention to them and they "swore they said it in the morning" and if not they "forgot"? Also, is it asking or expecting too much to think they would send flowers (the gift was not extravagant and yes it is the thought that counts), but even just a single rose? Is that asking too much?

 

[MrFantasyMan]

Ok...just my two cents...

Is it fair to ask, or have, us either to condemn or support what you think was inappropriate behavior? The background information is limited and only you know how his actions made you feel. My personal view is the holiday is a sham. That being said...if I knew it meant something more to someone special in my life I would be sure to at least try and do something "special". Actions speak louder than words...and God has granted me the priviledge of being able, on occasion, to express my words...it sounds to me as if you didn't get the actions you wanted...and I, for one , would have to think this isn't just about too much or not enough... just my 2 cents...

 

[njgirl0863]

I think you hit the "proverbial" nail on the head. I too think Valentine's Day is another made up commericialized thing for candy, card and flower stores to make money. But it exists.

It isn't about doing more; as I mentioned, we weren't able to be together, but we did speak and he didn't even say Happy Valentine's Day. Yes we spent time together early in the week because we knew we couldn't be together. But, not to acknowledge the day with words I sent a text message as soon as I woke up yesterday morning, before my feet even hit the bedroom floor. Every year prior to this one, if did or did not get to see each other he sent flowers to my home or work as well as given me other gifts when we did see each other.

I wasn't asking for anything extravagant, I wasn't asking for anything out of the "norm" just something simple as saying Happy Valentines and even a single rose would have been fine (actually I think that is more romantic that sending dozens and dozens). I guess I was expecting him to follow his past behavior, and yes I sent him something (as I always have done). That isn't the point either that I did for you and I expect something in return because I did. Yes I expected something because in my opinion that is an expression of showing you care, whether the day is or isn't commercialized, it exists.

A lack of acknowledgment to me is right up there with forgetting a birthday, anniversary or something of that significance.

To say the least, it was hurtful, if not downright heartbreaking to me.

I can't even speak to him right now.

 

[MrFantasyMan]

{{{njgirl0863}}}...I'm sorry for your pain...

 

[njgirl0863]

{{{njgirl0863}}}...I'm sorry for your pain...

Thank you hun... I truly appreciate the time you have shared with me today. It may not have "fixed" things but it has given me another perspective and opened my mind a bit.

Hugs,

NJ