Where does it feeel?

[LargoKitt]

Women authors: perhaps this has been well-covered elsewhere but I'm curious how you experience your orgasms, especially alone. Several posts have pointed out the wide variety of feelings you might experience--from 'Mmm, that was a nice release. Now I can sleep' to 'My whole body is jello and my mind just exploded.' But I'm curious about the actual variety of sensations you have experience. My 'agenda' is that I would love to see more of the 'interior monolog' that a woman experiences during sex as the feelings happen.

Watching a woman masturbate, you can see that at different times she is feeling it in different places, even if she just sticks to tickling her clit. It's very 'interior'.

Sometimes just touching her nipples can cause her to 'knit up'. So the sensation is felt in much more than nipples.

Where do you feel that 'beautiful agony' that seems close to pain?

In your stories, do you feel you describe her orgasm well? Which authors really seem to catch how and where it feels? And for the poets: What metaphors best capture your best orgasm?

Bonus question: On those rare occasions when you really orgasm with penetrating sex, where do you feel the goodness of that orgasm? I know, the kitchen table. Seriously, beyond the lovely warm and fuzzies, what parts of your body are saying 'thank you'?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

All of them.
More specifically, waist to thighs. Possibly groin-focused, but while also seeing stars or bright colours, and hearing nothing but some angelic chorus.

Watching a good movie or visiting an art gallery beforehand helps with the trigger for such images.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

First let's talk about nipples because it sets up the rest. If you pinch a nipple it feels nice but it is often really like an itch that you can't scratch because knowing just how good a nipple can feel if squeezed properly, you long for that and you're not getting it. So a better way to please the nipple is to twist it, roll it between your fingers. The shape that it makes like wringing a towel forces the tissue to crush in on itself, it cannot displace outward or upward and that is sooo good. The best way to do it is to take your finger and thumb tips and shape them like a rooftop /\ and take the top of the nipple and squeeze in as if the roof is collapsing onto the nipple if that makes sense, pretend the dash is the top of the nipple /-\ . Squeeze the tip inward and downward onto itself and then you can also press down from there. Do this right, it's absolutely heavenly. It does take a little practice so if you are not getting good results, a nice twist is right up there. The trick is to not let any of the nipple bulge outward or upward. Crush it into itself so that the tissue has nowhere to go but to squeeze together into itself.

Now this next thing may vary from woman to woman but I know a couple of other women tell me they experience same or similar. All of the "hot spots" on a woman's body have some sort of nerve connection to each other. If you tweak a nipple well enough, a lovely little jolt of tingle will run down through your navel and to your clitoris and/or gee. A good one might make her shiver or quiver. Sometimes it shoots over to the other nipple and sometimes when it's really good (usually means that it's being worked for several minutes) I feel it spread inside my hips which I am guessing is my ovaries. The jolt is fairly quick and it subsides, at least for me. So if you squeeze the nipple for a few seconds and then let go and regrip and re-squeeze you can get a new jolt. If you are twisting, twist one way, hold for maybe 10 seconds, then let go and twist the other way. Uhhhhh-ohhhhh yea.

Why I start with nipple technique is because it makes clit technique easier to understand, although the actual technique is different. Now a lot of women prefer a rapid stimulation, back and forth back and forth rapidly. Do not press hard when you do this. This is always nice but personally I prefer a pressure squeeze much like a nipple but not an actual pinch or twist. The clit is too sensitive for that (mine is anyways). The clitoris runs on the same principle though. If you can crush it into itself it has nowhere to go but blissville. However, most of the clitoris is inside the body. The little nub is only the tip. The root is in and around the walls of the vagina. So if you can stuff the vagina with something hard (use your imagination guys) and then rub the clit at the same time, it is pressure from both directions and the clit gets squeezed.

If you are purely stimulating the clit externally, the gentle rapid rub is good but another that I quite enjoy, especially mixed in between rapid rubs is to just stop and press it over to one side and then maybe back to the other, or sometimes maybe a little bit upwards or downwards. Just use the end of you thumb and push the nub over to one side and hold it for 5 or 10 seconds. This stretches it out inside her. Then rapid rub for 10 or 20 seconds, then side stretch, repeat repeat. It works for me.

Some girls are gee girls. Some are clit girls. I'm sure some are equally happy with either or both. I'm more of a clit girl and it is pure heaven if I can get clit pressure from the outside during coitus because there is nowhere for my clit to go but into itself. This is why you will see her hand scoot down to touch herself when it starts getting good. This is common in porn because proper mish obscures the action and she can't get her grind on, so she uses her fingers. My fave is mish (jeez I'm getting personal, so NO CREEPY PMs guys >:/ waves finger) and he grinds into me and his pelvic bone passes back and forth over my clit. Do that for five mins or so and I'll probably get there. Another is to be taken from behind and then have him reach under my tummy and work my clit with his hand. The drawback to this is that it is less intimate. I can't reward him with kisses or ass gropes or back scratches or anything.

Some girls prefer a pounding to a grinding. I would guess that's because it gives more gee action. Gee girls, please chime in. I like the grind because my clit gives me better results. I know a fair bit but hardly everything as women's preferences vary. Obviously I know myself well but although girls do talk, we don't talk as much as you think.

When you watch porn, you probably see the girl in cowgirl bouncing herself up and down the shaft. That can be nice but it's really just a visual for you. Usually in real life she will rock her hips back and forth on you and grind, or at the very least mix both techniques - a bit of this, a bit of that. Porn doesn't like that because it hides the action from the lens (and Idunno maybe you guys need to see the pump action and the ass cheeks jiggle?) so you don't see the rock much and always get the bounce. When she does this, she is grinding her clit on your pelvic bone (or really anything else that she can find down there). So if you can replicate some of that when YOU are fucking HER ... (hint hint) ; ) Not all the time but add it to your arsenal.

As for going down, most girls will tell you (but perhaps there are different tastes) don't bother sticking out the tip of your tongue and twiddling the hood and poking it inside the slit. Just lay your tongue flat over the whole clit area and lap it up. Lick flat strokes as if you were licking the melted ice cream clean from your plate after a la mode pie. You can suck the nub into your mouth and bat it around a little (just be careful of your teeth), then resume licking - nice big flat licks - and stick a finger or two inside for a stuffing sensation (more back pressure on clit) or to add some gee. For the gee itself, a gentle 'come hither' finger curl is all you usually need, so long as you hit the spot. Again different girls vary. Sometimes you can just flap your fingers quickly and and give it a batting. If your mouth gets tired or you need fresh air, stick your finger(s) inside and work the clit with your thumb. And of course it's never a bad idea to keep things nice and wet, whether that's saliva, her juices or lube (a good lube should be non-toxic, some are even flavored so you can still go down after lube - if it's okay in her pussy it'll be okay in your mouth).

What does the orgasm feel like? It's this buildup that lets go in a sweet overflow of bliss from your clit and vagina that spreads out up your tummy and down your thighs. It might even come back up into your navel and nipples. Really good ones will gives a ripple sensation for the first few seconds and often make most or all of my skin subtly tingly in a very soothing way. It's difficult to put into words but it is calming, soothing and yet not sleepy at all (not for me anyways), very alive, mellow but exciting at the same time. It's wonderfully satisfying and personally I always get an irresistible and tremendous urge to cuddle immediately afterwards or even during. The better the climax the more I need to cuddle. The urge is for ME to do the cuddling, although getting cuddles back is certainly welcome. I just get very clingy for a few minutes until it gradually dissipates. This is very significant since I am one of the less touchy huggy people that you will meet. But if he gets up to go to the toilet within 2 or 3 minutes after, I actually feel kinda hurt that he doesn't want my cuddles. I know this is pretty personal but for me it seems to be a very important part of the climax experience, or even good sex without climax. Maybe I am rewarding him. He did me good and now he deserves my best affection.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Another thing is overstimulation. I used to get this now and then if my clit got too much action. It is not a pleasant feeling. It's like your clit and vagina ache and almost cramp and it will sometimes spread into your tummy and down your thighs. If she ever says, "stop, stop, stop right now," you need to stop and let her cool back down. It shouldn't take long, a minute or two. Then you can get back to it. This does not happen to me anymore. Probably because me and my body have gotten practice avoiding it. However what I will get sometimes in a strong orgasm is a subtle ache in my pussy/groin, maybe even a little down my thighs, very similar to the overstimulation, but somehow it's actually a good feeling.

I've never cum. I think I maybe kinda did once. There certainly was an extra big puddle. A friend told me once that it's because I don't masturbate properly and therefore haven't explored my body well enough to figure it out. There is an element of truth to that. The more that you figure out your own body, the better you can sense when and how you are getting there. You can also communicate that to your partner for better results. However in this case I think that she's wrong. I think that some women's bodies just cum more easily and some rarely or never do (and a whole bunch of us in between). I'm one of the latter. I don't think I'm missing anything. My climaxes feel extremely satisfying when I have them and I uhh ... never have to do much uhh, cleaning up afterwards. (blush) And another thing, just to bust the myth for the folks who think porn represents reality - sex without climax can still be really fucking amazing. Not all women climax easily. Some climax very easily, some rarely do. Some can only get there by themself. Maybe they are the only ones who know how to push the button just right, or maybe it is just more psychological for some than others. I used to have great difficulty getting there but with practice (shut up) I've gotten better. A virgin is highly unlikely to squirt all over the furniture her first time. She doesn't know her body well enough yet. It's okay if she doesn't climax. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're no good in bed. Some nights I am just not going to climax no matter how good it is. Don't worry about it. But anyone who thinks that if they do all the right things physically, she has choice but to climax to climax doesn't know what they're talking about. She's not a mass manufactured machine with all identical switches and knobs. She is a unique person in a unique body and they are tied together.

Another thing is edge play. If the session is longer I actually kinda enjoy being kept on edge. Staying in the buildup stage or climbing through the buildup and starting over multiple times can be a whole lotta wow, and also becomes an added game. It is difficult though because partner can't really know how close you are unless he knows you really extra well or you just tell him. Personally I don't like to talk much. It's also a MAJOR turn on if a guy can pick up my clues and figure me out, so if I tell him too much it kinda spoils it. That's just a thing that I have. Your girl WILL vary.

Just remember: YOU don't MAKE a girl orgasm. SHE does it. But you can be a really big (wonderful) help.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Holy Shit, PSG. This should be in a textbook.

Most women (that I know) aren't ready to talk in detail about things like this. Most of them would be too embarrassed to say much or anything at all. Guys are so much simpler creatures when it comes to sex.

 

[SimonDoom]

Holy Shit, PSG. This should be in a textbook.

Most women (that I know) aren't ready to talk in detail about things like this. Most of them would be too embarrassed to say much or anything at all. Guys are so much simpler creatures when it comes to sex.

No kidding. It's real simple. It's all about the dick.

 

[Otto26]

Holy Shit, PSG. This should be in a textbook.

Most women (that I know) aren't ready to talk in detail about things like this. Most of them would be too embarrassed to say much or anything at all. Guys are so much simpler creatures when it comes to sex.

Because we're mostly idiots who settle for a lot less. A woman can leave you laying helpless and shaking in the wet spots if she cares to and if you get out of your head and let her. We're not so very different.

Thank you for the reference material PSG.

 

[Voboy]

Holy Shit, PSG. This should be in a textbook.

I'll say. Or pinned.

@pink_silk_glove you should keep this in a doc to be cut and pasted every few months, when someone else starts yet another thread about this.

 

[vanmyers86]

No dis to PSG - what a fantastic post! - but not all of us get off on nipple play. I personally don't like it, and a lot of involved nipple tweaking, etc., in a story makes me lose interest. Sexuality is very much a "your mileage may vary" wonderland - which is why we keep talking about it, I guess. If it were as easy as "insert Tab M into Slot N and you'll both have a glorious O," half of what we write would be superfluous.
YMMV, of course

 

[pink_silk_glove]

No dis to PSG - what a fantastic post! - but not all of us get off on nipple play. I personally don't like it, and a lot of involved nipple tweaking, etc., in a story makes me lose interest. Sexuality is very much a "your mileage may vary" wonderland - which is why we keep talking about it, I guess. If it were as easy as "insert Tab M into Slot N and you'll both have a glorious O," half of what we write would be superfluous.
YMMV, of course

Ab-so-lute-ly 100% true. Your girl WILL vary. Might even vary a lot.

I have something similar. Spanking. Lots of people are into it, giving or receiving. I'm not. At all. It seems juvenile and pointless. I'm not saying that it is juvenile or pointless, it's just how it seems to me for whatever reason and that seems to turn me off. So when I read a story and there is a spank or two I just do my best to ignore it, and if the spanking persists I get bored real fast.

But others really love it. Everyone varies, and our bodies and minds vary too, sometimes greatly. So a very important skill is to be attentive. Pay attention to the reactions of your partner verbal and non-verbal to figure out what works and what doesn't.

I had a roleplay once where this guy agreed no anal. Then mid play he sticks it in my ass. I get bored, he fucks my ass harder, I say "ow, stop that," he keeps fucking my ass harder and harder. Eventually he drops out of character and asks me, "why aren't you cumming?" This was beyond unsexy. His question was a far bigger turn off than the anal itself despite the fact that I totally hate anal. I had told him out of character no anal, he agreed and then in character I roleplayed hating it and he STILL thought he was being amazing. He was so inattentive to my desires that I was like, "just fuck off right now and don't ever message me again." But he started to argue with me that I wasn't giving anal a chance!!! What a total clueless loser. The whole point of sex is to enjoy each other's bodies and intimacy. I wasn't enjoying it and he didn't care at all. It was so unsexy. But ... But ... He had a big cock!

Pay attention to what your partner likes and doesn't like because everyone is different.

If she gets uncomfortable or says stop when you squeeze her nipples, just stop and try something else. For many women, just the simple fact that you care enough to stop can be a turn on in itself.

 

[nice90sguy]

No kidding. It's real simple. It's all about the dick.

Not for me, it's mostly about the brain. Maybe I'm not a guy.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Holy Shit, PSG. This should be in a textbook.

Most women (that I know) aren't ready to talk in detail about things like this. Most of them would be too embarrassed to say much or anything at all. Guys are so much simpler creatures when it comes to sex.

And I wouldn't talk about it neither except that I'm anonymous here and so are all of you.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Not for me, it's mostly about the brain. Maybe I'm not a guy.

I second this. The physical part of sex is probably farthest down the list of what makes me enjoy sex.

 

[AG31]

Another thing is overstimulation. I used to get this now and then if my clit got too much action. It is not a pleasant feeling. It's like your clit and vagina ache and almost cramp and it will sometimes spread into your tummy and down your thighs. If she ever says, "stop, stop, stop right now," you need to stop and let her cool back down. It shouldn't take long, a minute or two. Then you can get back to it. This does not happen to me anymore. Probably because me and my body have gotten practice avoiding it. However what I will get sometimes in a strong orgasm is a subtle ache in my pussy/groin, maybe even a little down my thighs, very similar to the overstimulation, but somehow it's actually a good feeling.

I've never cum. I think I maybe kinda did once. There certainly was an extra big puddle. A friend told me once that it's because I don't masturbate properly and therefore haven't explored my body well enough to figure it out. There is an element of truth to that. The more that you figure out your own body, the better you can sense when and how you are getting there. You can also communicate that to your partner for better results. However in this case I think that she's wrong. I think that some women's bodies just cum more easily and some rarely or never do (and a whole bunch of us in between). I'm one of the latter. I don't think I'm missing anything. My climaxes feel extremely satisfying when I have them and I uhh ... never have to do much uhh, cleaning up afterwards. (blush) And another thing, just to bust the myth for the folks who think porn represents reality - sex without climax can still be really fucking amazing. Not all women climax easily. Some climax very easily, some rarely do. Some can only get there by themself. Maybe they are the only ones who know how to push the button just right, or maybe it is just more psychological for some than others. I used to have great difficulty getting there but with practice (shut up) I've gotten better. A virgin is highly unlikely to squirt all over the furniture her first time. She doesn't know her body well enough yet. It's okay if she doesn't climax. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're no good in bed. Some nights I am just not going to climax no matter how good it is. Don't worry about it. But anyone who thinks that if they do all the right things physically, she has choice but to climax to climax doesn't know what they're talking about. She's not a mass manufactured machine with all identical switches and knobs. She is a unique person in a unique body and they are tied together.

Another thing is edge play. If the session is longer I actually kinda enjoy being kept on edge. Staying in the buildup stage or climbing through the buildup and starting over multiple times can be a whole lotta wow, and also becomes an added game. It is difficult though because partner can't really know how close you are unless he knows you really extra well or you just tell him. Personally I don't like to talk much. It's also a MAJOR turn on if a guy can pick up my clues and figure me out, so if I tell him too much it kinda spoils it. That's just a thing that I have. Your girl WILL vary.

Just remember: YOU don't MAKE a girl orgasm. SHE does it. But you can be a really big (wonderful) help.

What is the difference between "cum" and "climax" here?

 

[AwkwardlySet]

What is the difference between "cum" and "climax" here?

I assume that "climax" is the peak of pleasure and that "cum" refers to the discharge that does or does not happen during the climax.

 

[AlexBailey]

Wow, PSG. What a wonderfully detailed description.

The only time I’ve heard anyone share so much about technique and preference for the female body was around a campfire with more than a dozen lesbians when they started with a heated discussion about whether penetration was necessary for some of them to orgasm. (There was no consensus.)

I think you hit the nail on the head about many (not all) guys wanting more of the visual aspects than being into what feels good to their partners. I think most guys could learn a lot by watching women please other women - but not the lights-camera-action porn version.

My sexuality is so non-cis. Aside from a few guys, mostly femmes, almost all of my partners have been women who are into women, the one exception being my first wife. She came to the bedroom with an expectation that I would be an alfa-male who would take her like a stereotypical sex-hungry man. I think she got her pleasure off of being desired, objectified, and used more than being into the subtle pleasures of someone who knows their own body. We were a terrible match except that she gave me one of the only two orgasms I’ve ever had from oral alone. Personally I need more workup and a variety of stimulation, more like what you describe- when things are going really well I can get the shakes and rebounding tremors. Once our honeymoon was over, my ex wife got frustrated with me for not being easy to please sexually “like a real man.” I literally had to fake a lot of my orgasms with her - no joke, I went looking for some creamy lube that felt and looked like cum just so she would let me off the hook before I was too sore and tired.

So yeah, I was a letdown to my cis/het ex and have avoided vanilla or strictly cis/het partners ever since. Most of the women I’ve enjoyed being with have been far more in touch with their own bodies and have been active participants in pleasure, saying what they want and being just as patient and reciprocal rather than being pillow princesses.


To each their own, and may we all find the perfect partners.

 

[AG31]

I assume that "climax" is the peak of pleasure and that "cum" refers to the discharge that does or does not happen during the climax.

Discharge? A woman gets lubricated, hopefully, before the climax. What discharge?

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Discharge? A woman gets lubricated, hopefully, before the climax. What discharge?

Well, this is awkward.
Stories say that there are women who squirt during the climax. It could be that they are like unicorns, but I swear I've seen at least one!

 

[lovecraft68]

Amazing post by PSG, accurate and educational.

But why do I feel like most of the time when a question like this is asked that the response they want is

"OMG just the sight of cock turns me into a helpless quivering mass of lust driven flesh....and don't get me started on how great cum tastes!!!!"

 

[AG31]

Well, this is awkward.
Stories say that there are women who squirt during the climax. It could be that they are like unicorns, but I swear I've seen at least one!

Squirt from which orifice?

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Squirt from which orifice?

I feel inadequate in this sense but maybe this article can help.
https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/female-ejaculation-and-squirting-what-s-the-difference

 

[pink_silk_glove]

What is the difference between "cum" and "climax" here?

An orgasm can be accompanied by a squirt or not. Again, I'm not 'all women' and I haven't spoken with 'all women' but if you take a little dish here and there and a little reading/digging, you start to understand that not many women actually ejaculate every time that they orgasm (climax). Some only ejaculate once in a while or when it's really good, or when they get a certain type of O. You will hear talk about the vaginal orgasm or the clitoral orgasm. Science never seems to have definite answers for these but it doesn't really matter. Then some women seem to hardly or never ejaculate.

There are orgasm myths that most men seem to believe. I don't blame men for this. They don't have vaginas and clits and society does its best to keep them from knowing. Us girls are discouraged from telling them the truth. So I am glad to tell you here. I think it's great that men ask these questions in a forum like this because I think it's great that they want to know and are proactive about it. That's why I like to give the answers - as least as best as I can.

The biggest myth about the female orgasm is that the only factor determining a female orgasm is the man's performance. This is total bull. Like I said above, YOU can't MAKE a girl orgasm. SHE will do it, but you can make it a whole lot easier.

The second is that when a girl orgasms, she ejaculates (cums) - squirts watery fluid all over the place. Sometimes in a splash or two and sometimes in a stream like a garden hose. This is not true. More often than not, the orgasm is cumless.

The third is that if she orgasms, the sex was good and if she does not the sex wasn't good. I don't think too many men believe this but this myth is definitely out there. The truth is that a woman can have mindblowing sex and still not climax.

Also, in the vast majority of stories, our two heroes get it on for a bit until she cums and then since the man did his job satisfying her, he can now cum too. I assume that it's because he is such a perfect performer. Certainly this is possible but hardly how it always works out. It is totally okay to cum before she does. Hey, you can always get it back up in a few minutes and go at it again. Oh yes, that's totally fine. But in male fantasies I guess it's important to be the 'perfect performer', iunno. Then how about the multiple orgasm? We rarely read multi-Os on lit. For me personally I can count on my fingers the number of times that I've had two and that's the max, but some women can have multiples. Remember, when the man climaxes, he goes back to zero and needs to recover before starting again. After a woman climaxes, she comes down slowly. That means that after the orgasm, she goes back to 'close'. Dude, she's prime for another! Like right now! Take advantage. Each woman is different. Some may not be able to have them back to back, but one of the girls in our little circle circle sitting around chatting one night told us how she was with a guy who jammed his hand in her for about 20 mins and she gushed a waterfall FOUR TIMES within about a 3 minute span and it was the absolute best thing that she ever had. Because after she has an orgasm, she's still close. She's still right there in the zone ready for another.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Amazing post by PSG, accurate and educational.

Thank you, but also credit to a great question. I'm sure there are a significant number of men (on a porn site) hoping for the answer that you proppose, but the OP at least genuinely wants to know the truth.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

I feel inadequate in this sense but maybe this article can help.
https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/female-ejaculation-and-squirting-what-s-the-difference

Great link. I honestly don't know that much about female cum since I don't cum myself and I've never been in group sex to witness it. Only heard a couple of stories around the 'campfire' as they say and pay attention and read a bit.

 

[EvaLane]

There are orgasm myths that most men seem to believe. I don't blame men for this. They don't have vaginas and clits and society does its best to keep them from knowing. Us girls are discouraged from telling them the truth. So I am glad to tell you here. I think it's great that men ask these questions in a forum like this because I think it's great that they want to know and are proactive about it. That's why I like to give the answers - as least as best as I can.

The biggest myth about the female orgasm is that the only factor determining a female orgasm is the man's performance. This is total bull. Like I said above, YOU can't MAKE a girl orgasm. SHE will do it, but you can make it a whole lot easier.

The second is that when a girl orgasms, she ejaculates (cums) - squirts watery fluid all over the place. Sometimes in a splash or two and sometimes in a stream like a garden hose. This is not true. More often than not, the orgasm is cumless.

The third is that if she orgasms, the sex was good and if she does not the sex wasn't good. I don't think too many men believe this but this myth is definitely out there. The truth is that a woman can have mindblowing sex and still not climax.

I had a boyfriend once who was amazing at preforming oral sex and I remember I had an orgasm so absolutely new to me that I started laughing and crying at the same time. It wasn’t the first orgasm he had given me, but it was so starkly different that he questioned me basically immediately.

It was overwhelming, but I tried to explain that there are different levels of orgasm and this was a level I never experienced before (or since ). If I were to try to explain the physical differences between a “normal” orgasm vs this one… it was like my body completely took over and I was forced to experience it. Shaking, heat radiating from my centre all the way to my finger tips. I felt numb and hypersensitive, like when you were outside in the winter for too long and then run your hands under water - it’s an instant reaction.

He understood on some level, but if I didn’t have that visceral reaction, I don’t think he would have even noticed - it’s all very inwards and dependant upon how I’m experiencing everything, like Pink said.