Worried I may be obsessional!

[collar_corset]

Ok, maybe that's a bit too dramatic, but it is a worry

I made a thread a few months ago about getting feelings for an FWB, so I decided to bite the bullet and send him an email telling him. I then deleted his number on his phone (but oh gods, it's still on my application on the PC)

Surprisingly, he never did get back to me, but I have managed to avoid the temptation to reprogramme the number or email him.

The problem is I cannot stop bloody thinking about how much I still want him

I've been going out every Saturday for a couple of drinks (not getting drunk, bad idea) hoping to meet someone, but I cannot get him out of my head. The worse part is, the pub I usually go in had a band in on Saturday had a band on that were much too loud, so I left and went up another one. Guess who turned up in the original pub after I left

My mate told me that last night, and I was torn between feeling glad I had left (I just know I would have panicked if I had seen him, and wishing I had stayed.

Then I got talking to another old mate of mine, who is in a band with him. I've known this guy for years, but for the life of me, I cannot remember his name. So I asked him what it was, explaining that I'd known him for ages, blah blah blah, and he said 'You know me from the pub we all used to go to, and I'm in a band with O' (God only knows why he used his surname) I got the impression he was a bit ticked off with him, so I asked him what he knew. And it surprised me that he mentioned my ex FB (again I'll call him N) He then went on to say that N was lazy, and I said it was more a case of him being exhausted, as I know N is working his arse off at the mo, he's self employed, but is doing contracted work in a town 35 miles away, which means a lot of travelling.

I still cannot figure out why he mentioned N to me, but I didn't want to keep on at him about it as I know they have band practise regularly and I didn't want my name being mentioned, although I'm guessing N has mentioned me at some points (I honestly dread to think why, probably moaning about the sex crazed looney woman he's fucking!)

The worst part is I'm bloody 40, not 14 so why the hell am I acting like a bloody teenager?

Please, someone else must have been in this situation (otherwise I really am worried about being a crazy!)

It's really getting to me now

 

[infinity706]

Honestly, I can't say I've ever been in that situation and I've had a ton of fuck buddies. I'm probably a bit weird in that aspect, though.

 

[kaycee217]

Emotions aren't rational...that's all I can say.

Good luck

 

[dollface007]

A crush is a crush is a crush no matter how old you are, I guess.

My favorite line about crushes is from Sixteen Candles: "If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else."

 

[littlebabyclit]

Email is the worst way to convey serious issues or feelings. Are you sure he even got the email? It's also convenient for people to pretend they never received an email if they wish to avoid addressing its contents.

You could send a second email casually asking about the first. You may be surprised to learn he never got the first one...?

If nothing pans out with him, time really does heal all wounds, or at the very least lessens the pain. Take a little bit of comfort that you may be looking at this differently in 6 months or a year. A lot can happen between now and then.

 

[subwannabe]

It sounds to me like you need to put a period on this and move on.

 

[Primalex]

Please, someone else must have been in this situation (otherwise I really am worried about being a crazy!)

Well, I've been an N, if this helps.

No, we don't like being stalked. There is a reason we don't call you, email you or whatever. If you are persistent enough, we'll give in when we are very horny, fuck you and feel bad about it - and you, too, later, as it makes it even worse for you to get over it.

Don't assume he didn't get the email. It's very unlikely and you will enter stalker mode - "maybe he didn't get the second one? Let's just send another one and ask for an ack of receipt"....NO.
If he wanted you, he wouldn't need the first email anyway.