WOW! Tumbleweed!

[arienette]

Awww, no wonder you ended up at a porn site.

(She knows I love her really ).

She is indeed a quite wonderful woman.

Reflection in a mirror? Does she have one?

Oh my god, I've never seen her look into a mirror. I think she's hiding something from me.

 

[matriarch]

Awww, here's a nice soft cushion, love.

Lou

mmmmmmmmmm, nice, and a double-headed back rest.

Perfick!

 

[CharleyH]

God, there was so much bloody dust in here, I couldn't get in! When the Americans are away, the world will play. I say we make fun of them yanks while we can get away with it

 

[Guest]

Oh my god, I've never seen her look into a mirror. I think she's hiding something from me.

I have a sneaky suspicion she is. Although, she's never hidden it that well from us.

Get some holy water, quick!

 

[arienette]

God, there was so much bloody dust in here, I couldn't get in! When the Americans are away, the world will play. I say we make fun of them yanks while we can get away with it

Hey! Don't make me get out my whip.
Hah. Just kidding, I promise, I don't really enjoy America myself; but a whip still could be fun.

 

[Guest]

mmmmmmmmmm, nice, and a double-headed back rest.

Perfick!

LOL!

What darling buds you have.

 

[arienette]

I have a sneaky suspicion she is. Although, she's never hidden it that well from us.

Get some holy water, quick!

*gets holy water* Okay, now as soon as she gets back we jump out and splash her!

 

[Guest]

God, there was so much bloody dust in here, I couldn't get in! When the Americans are away, the world will play. I say we make fun of them yanks while we can get away with it

Hahaha! Bloody septics could never take it. They'd be crying into their turkey.

I've already made a start on one...

 

[Guest]

*gets holy water* Okay, now as soon as she gets back we jump out and splash her!

LOL!

Get ready to hear the words, "I'm meltinggggggg."

Vampire/Wicked Witch, it's all the same to me.

 

[arienette]

LOL!

Get ready to hear the words, "I'm meltinggggggg."

Vampire/Wicked Witch, it's all the same to me.

Hahaha. Same thing, really, the Wicked Witch could have been a Vampire -- you know how they soften the story up for the children.

 

[CharleyH]

Hahaha! Bloody septics could never take it. They'd be crying into their turkey.

I've already made a start on one...

LOL. Hurry while everyone is at the Macy's parade, or at least watching it on tv!

As for whips, Arienette, they are my specialty

 

[matriarch]

LOL!

What darling buds you have.

Buds?

Sweetie, the buds are yours.

Mine are the past their best, blowsy fruits of autumn.

 

[Guest]

Hahaha. Same thing, really, the Wicked Witch could have been a Vampire -- you know how they soften the story up for the children.

Too true.

She always scared me, though! And the Wicked Witch.

 

[Guest]

LOL. Hurry while everyone is at the Macy's parade, or at least watching it on tv!

As for whips, Arienette, they are my specialty

Ok... um...

*goes in search of jokes about yanks*

Back in a mo...

 

[arienette]

LOL. Hurry while everyone is at the Macy's parade, or at least watching it on tv!

As for whips, Arienette, they are my specialty

My sister was just watching it. It is a rather awesome parade, if you enjoy standing out in the cold for hours on end and watching huge balloons in the sky when you can't really see what's in front of you because of all the people. Why not just stay in bed and watch it while you can have a clear view?

 

[Guest]

Buds?

Sweetie, the buds are yours.

Mine are the past their best, blowsy fruits of autumn.

Oh shurrup!

 

[Guest]

These are a bit lame, but I'm sure I'll find more...

What goes clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop,clip-clop, bang, bang, clip-clop, clip-clop?

An Amish drive-by shooting.




What is the difference between a redneck divorce and a tornado?

Nothing. You're gonna lose the trailer either way!

 

[CharleyH]

Buds?

Sweetie, the buds are yours.

Will you be bottling those?

 

[Guest]

A British doctor says: "The medicine in my country is so advanced that we can remove the brain of a man, put it in another man and make him get a job in six weeks."
A German doctor says: "That's nothing. We can remove the brain of a person, put it in another one and prepare him for war in four weeks."
The American doctor, not to be surpassed, says: "Friends, both of you are outdated. Recently we identified a man without a brain from Texas and placed him in the White House. Now we have half the country looking for a job and the other half preparing for war!"

 

[arienette]

A British doctor says: "The medicine in my country is so advanced that we can remove the brain of a man, put it in another man and make him get a job in six weeks."
A German doctor says: "That's nothing. We can remove the brain of a person, put it in another one and prepare him for war in four weeks."
The American doctor, not to be surpassed, says: "Friends, both of you are outdated. Recently we identified a man without a brain from Texas and placed him in the White House. Now we have half the country looking for a job and the other half preparing for war!"

That was a great one!! I like it tons.

 

[CharleyH]

A British doctor says: "The medicine in my country is so advanced that we can remove the brain of a man, put it in another man and make him get a job in six weeks."
A German doctor says: "That's nothing. We can remove the brain of a person, put it in another one and prepare him for war in four weeks."
The American doctor, not to be surpassed, says: "Friends, both of you are outdated. Recently we identified a man without a brain from Texas and placed him in the White House. Now we have half the country looking for a job and the other half preparing for war!"

Chuckle. MUCH better

 

[Guest]

A South African is enjoying a hearty breakfast - coffee, croissants, toast, butter & jam, etc. when an American, chewing gum, sits next to him and starts an unwanted conversation:
American: "You South Africans eat the whole bread?"
South African: "Of course."
American (blowing bubble with his gum): "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle, rebake them into croissants and sell them to South Africa."
American: "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"
South African: "Of course."
American (chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth): "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and left overs into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to South Africa."
South African: "Do you have sex in America?"
American: "Of course we do."
South African: "And what do you do with the condoms?"
American: "Throw them away of course."
South African: "We don't. We put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to America."

 

[comp|icity]

Originally posted by Tatelou
A British doctor says: "The medicine in my country is so advanced that we can remove the brain of a man, put it in another man and make him get a job in six weeks."
A German doctor says: "That's nothing. We can remove the brain of a person, put it in another one and prepare him for war in four weeks."
The American doctor, not to be surpassed, says: "Friends, both of you are outdated. Recently we identified a man without a brain from Texas and placed him in the White House. Now we have half the country looking for a job and the other half preparing for war!"

HA HA! That was a good one! I've not heard that before.

hello non-yanks and honarary non-yank arienette

I just have an anecdote:

Someone was in a supermarket in the US and the lady at the till said 'You have a strange accent, where are you from?'
'England' replied my friend
'Gee' repsonded the lady in all seriousness, 'Well you speak English real well.'

 

[arienette]

HA HA! That was a good one! I've not heard that before.

hello non-yanks and honarary non-yank arienette

I just have an anecdote:

Someone was in a supermarket in the US and the lady at the till said 'You have a strange accent, where are you from?'
'England' replied my friend
'Gee' repsonded the lady in all seriousness, 'Well you speak English real well.'

Oh my. What a stooge.
And hello there! *waves*

 

[Guest]

Oh, if only Kerry had won, then this joke might actually be more factual...

One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Ave, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the US Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here. The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same US Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't
you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."