Writing Exercise - Write a letter to your 17-year-old self

[LaRocha]

This is no place for a pissing contest.

La Cucaracha: you have your own thread where you can piss all over yourself to your heart's content. Please quit stalking me. Not interested, never will be. Thank you.

srplt: I expected better of you. Please take it elsewhere...thank you.

That's not my thread, that's Stella's control-freak thread, she didn't even spell my name right in the title.

 

[cloudy]

That's not my thread, that's Stella's control-freak thread, she didn't even spell my name right in the title.

Whatever. Please take your venom elsewhere. Thanks.

 

[sr71plt]

You're a fairly inane framer of arguments, I hope your editing skills aren't as ill formed. Here's some of my recent resume. Cloudy knows 'em all by heart. I only write 4+ stories, regardless of the name I post them under.

Same goes for LaRocha as for Cloudy. The persona of LaRocha is contained within the posting name LaRocha. When you post on the forum as LaRocha, the only things you've written and posted to Lit. are the ones under the LaRocha name. This is the Internet. Each account is a different persona.

 

[cloudy]

Same goes for LaRocha as for Cloudy. The persona of LaRocha is contained within the posting name LaRocha. When you post on the forum as LaRocha, the only things you've written and posted to Lit. are the ones under the LaRocha name. This is the Internet. Each account is a different persona.

I'm asking nicely. Please take this insanity somewhere else.

Thanks.

 

[sr71plt]

I'm asking nicely. Please take this insanity somewhere else.

Thanks.

Oh, dear lord, Cloudy. This is what you wanted to happen to this thread when you started it--said as much in your initial post.

 

[sr71plt]

OK, back on thread topic:


Yes, they stuck you in a residential college and moved to Europe. Get over it; it wasn't about rejection, it was how they made their money to support the famility--and it was about finding the money to pay for your college education.

 

[LaRocha]

Same goes for LaRocha as for Cloudy. The persona of LaRocha is contained within the posting name LaRocha. When you post on the forum as LaRocha, the only things you've written and posted to Lit. are the ones under the LaRocha name. This is the Internet. Each account is a different persona.

I still haven't made declarations of my writing prowess under this name. But when someone asks, 'Why are you even talking about writing as if you've authored anything?' and they very well know at least one other current name I write under, there's no reason not to answer them.

 

[sadangel]

Dear 17 year old me...

When the opportunity arises to leave home, take it. You've endured more than enough in your 17 years. Realize now that your mom was most likely abused the same way as a child. Realize that not all families are like yours.

Apply for grants and scholarships to some of the State colleges NOW! Don't go to that Private Christian college. Yes, the church thinks it is a great idea, and yes you met some great friends, but your life took a turn I wouldn't wish on an enemy. Homeless isn't fun...you'll be just that by 19.

Don't listen to your mom when she tells you that you are not anything, including attractive. You are beautiful. Inside and out. Don't listen to her when she tells you that you are fat. You are not fat at 125 pounds and 5'6". Trust me on this. Listening to her will set you up for pain that will last your entire life.

Journal....Journal...Journal. Keep your writings. Keep your poems. They mean something. Keep drawing as long as you can. It's going to get rough in 10 years and you are going to need something to remind you that you are worthwhile. Get your degree in Psychology. It will take you to places I couldn't go.

Go back and find Pat A. She will be one of the biggest helps in your life and she can be trusted. She was new...didn't see the signs. She knows better now. Get help for the depression now. It is treatable. You can have a better life.

Don't get married at 22. You will see red flags everywhere, listen to your heart. He isn't worth it. He will tear your soul apart. Wait for love. It will be a long time coming, but he is so worth waiting for. Be willing to open up to Him. Be willing to move for Him. He's well worth it. He will open places of your heart you didn't realize existed. It's worth it, even when it hurts.

I hate to be the one to say this, but as much as you love children, carrying one full term isn't going to happen. You will endure pain and miscarriages, but you will still love those children born straight to God's arms. I know it's painful to realize that now, but it's something you need to know ahead of time. Maybe you can get some help with it, since you know now.

Don't let anyone hit you or abuse you. You don't have to live that way. Don't drink anymore. You get addicted to things too quickly. You don't need these things. Start writing those stories that are in your head. People are willing to read them, if you write them. Publish your poems. Many are waiting to read them..Keep being willing to learn every day. Don't let people "dumb you down" and stay true to yourself. You are worth it.

I know you don't realize it, but your grandfather does love you. He's gruff. Talk to him about things. Learn more about why he feels the way he does. Don't let anyone throw away your sentimental things. Keep that Afghan somewhere where no one can find it....you are going to want it in 30 or so years. Grandparents die, and your going to want something to remember them by. You will have many years with them, but enjoy every moment, because when they are gone, you don't want regrets.

Don't worry about the bio father. He's not worth wasting your time. Don't bother sending him a graduation invitation. He doesn't care. Save it for someone who does.

Know that you are special. Loved. Worthy. Lovable. Yes, I said LOVED--I love you and so does M. She will be someone who is there through so much. Let her know how special she is. Explore yourself. Don't be afraid of your sexuality and the things you think about. Learn more about them, but stay very discriminate about partners. You will see in years, that it was worth being so picky.

Now, go knock 'em dead. You have what you need to make it in life. You just need to recognize the strength and courage you hold inside. It isn't weakness. It is strength. Continue to use your knowledge and wisdom to learn and grow. It will take you far.

Your 44 year old self. *So much more I'd write, but well, it could fill a book my 17 year old self. You need to learn some of it on your own*

 

[cloudy]

Oh, dear lord, Cloudy. This is what you wanted to happen to this thread when you started it--said as much in your initial post.

Think whatever you like, it really doesn't matter.

Now...please, please take your pissing contest elsewhere.

 

[LaRocha]

Think whatever you like, it really doesn't matter.

Now...please, please take your pissing contest elsewhere.

That's what's interesting though, you discovered you were revealing too much of yourself in your stories so you hide them. You don't really want anyone to know anything about you, even your supposed friends here. Even they say, "Well, I do remember sometime in the past reading something of hers..."

 

[cloudy]

That's what's interesting though, you discovered you were revealing too much of yourself in your stories so you hide them. You don't really want anyone to know anything about you, even your supposed friends here. Even they say, "Well, I do remember sometime in the past reading something of hers..."

GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WITH YOUR BILE.

I will not argue with you here, so find someone else to stalk. Please.

 

[LaRocha]

GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WITH YOUR BILE.

I will not argue with you here, so find someone else to stalk. Please.

I'm a genie. Don't say my name or respond to my posts and I'll gladly cease interacting with you. I had no interest in your posh exercise until I saw CarsonShepherd up in here. This is the Author's Hangout and I don't always get a chance to talk to real life Author's here. If you don't think you had a part in conjuring this mystical genie just go read the exchange. It's a learning exercise, Cloudy and Stella's behaviour modification.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'll be sure to tell my shrink that next time I see him.

I cant imagine what else you'd call it; navel-gazing maybe. Psst! There is no such thing as your inner child. There is no humunculus, either.

There's only you and a different day and the same ol shit.

 

[sadangel]

GO SOMEWHERE ELSE WITH YOUR BILE.

I will not argue with you here, so find someone else to stalk. Please.

*hugs* Just ignore them. Maybe they will go away.

I like the writing exercise. Didn't realize I had so much to say to my 17 year old self.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Sad, magical, navel-gazing.

 

[imalickin]

Self,

There is a lot that I would like to tell you sweetie, but when it all comes down to it you turned out really great. I know you will find love and your soul mate. You will have a child that is brilliant, charming and beautiful. But there is an empty place in your heart. A place you will think about for a very long time.

Now listen to what I am going to tell you. The weekend after graduation from college you and several friend will spend a week at the beach in Fla. On the second day at the beach you will be talking to a man, slightly older than yourself. You will think he is cute, intelligent and funny, but not your type. Let me tell you, he is your type.

If you don't thinks so, I can tell you that you will think about him often as your life unfolds before you. You will not compare all other men you meet to him, but will wonder. Wonder what could have been. I know this is sounding a little crass for a seventeen year old, but this is the age you start on the road to womanhood. Yes, soon you will fall in love with your first boy and even though your, our mother has been preaching abstinence, you will let him love you. It will be painful at first but it will soon turn into an enjoyable, pleasurable experience. No you will not turn into a nymphomaniac or a slut. But you will enjoy a number of wonderful boys and then men in your life. Until you meet 'G'. After that you are a one man woman. Seeing no other male as other than that, a male of the species.

So, on that beach, with that gentleman, indulge. I truly think you will enjoy yourself. Hopefully, you/I won't be wondering, we won't have any regrets about him for the rest of your life. Yes, right now, where I am, I regret not spending more time with him. It was just a week, a week that could have been...wonderful. So please, heed my words and enjoy yourself for the rest of your life. And that weekend in Florida.

Me/You

 

[TxRad]

I cant imagine what else you'd call it; navel-gazing maybe. Psst! There is no such thing as your inner child. There is no humunculus, either.

There's only you and a different day and the same ol shit.

humunculus is spelled homunculus, by the way.

Ya see, there's the problem with you. You actually believe that.

This thread is for people who think they can change and change their lives. Change things for the better. If someone works hard enough at it they can do it.

You don't believe that so that makes you about as useful as a three legged horse around here. Around most places actually.

 

[neonlyte]

I have something to tell you, Will. I don’t think you’ll like it… in fact I know you’ll reject what I’m about to suggest not least because when I was your age, I knew it all. Actually… I think we can both agree we don’t know it all, not now at my age (sixty) and certainly not at your age (seventeen). I don’t say this lightly. It’s not intended as an insult or to goad you into your (our) particular version of teenage arrogance — which, if I remember correctly, was rendered in the form of stony silence or isolation intended to display your superiority but it was actually ignored by just about everyone, family and friends alike.

Just to be absolutely clear, Will, the isolation route doesn’t work. It’s never worked. The only person it affects is you. No one else gives a shit, so pack that in, Buddy, because it’s embarrassing for me to have to scan back across an ocean of futile gesture, which, if you are not careful, will become an intrinsic part of your character, a part the more mature people you’re about to encounter will ridicule.

Ok… things you need to understand. You are not a guy, guy. You won’t hang out with the guys so give it up. You’ll never compete with the guys physically. You can’t play soccer or rugby and your current ability with pool and diving is short lived because you don’t possess the tenacity and drive to excel. Which is not to say you don’t have attributes. Girls like you. Women will like you… and that is where you need to devote attention and develop a skill. My / Our big mistake is / might be (depending upon whether you heed this missive) is a failure to follow through. To punch our weight when it matters. Ok… you broke up with Helen a few weeks ago — birthday 16th November — which, believe me, is a weird thing to remember after forty-three years; why you’ll remember it will become clear in time though for the life of me I can’t recall what the hell she looks like, only that her parents viewed me / us with obvious suspicion. Christine is a time waster. You’ll walk her home for the next six months and barely scratch her surface. It’s the name that attracts… remember Christine Willy? Six years old, blond curls… what a bitch, LOL. Steer clear of blondes, Bud, there’ll bring you nothing but grief. Do you remember her birthday party? She invited you / us and completely… but completely, ignored both of us. It’s hard to figure a six year-old prick-teaser but she qualified better than Shirley fucking Temple… ok… ST was my era… Kylie? Whatever…

Think of Christine is a staging post. She’s not going to let you past first base; she’s saving herself. That means she’ll accept certain overtures, to a limit, and that will give you the opportunity to perfect a style. Use the time wisely, Will, because your next date will be more demanding than you can begin to imagine. Your meeting Joy is the result of an accident. It’s going to happen in about six weeks; having passed your driving test you reverse out of the drive and knock Joy off her bicycle. Of course it’s Maddy (her friend) who takes your attention, not that Joy is less than beautiful… but Maddy is a Playboy centrefold… Playboy… check Dad’s desk drawer, the third drawer… the key is in his cigar box. I swear Maddy was June ’67. No girl, aged sixteen, needs to stretch a blouse that tight. Joy has small breasts… you will see them. You will touch them. You will suckle them. It doesn’t turn her on but she likes that you like them.

Joy will rule your life for six years. She’ll almost destroy you… and she’ll allow you to become the best tongue and fingers on the planet. She’ll fuck other people and always, always return for your tongue and finger, which is kind of annoying. I guarantee her taste will be on your tongue every time you go down on a woman for the rest of your life and every woman you go down on will be measured against the scale of Joy.

Two things:
When you go camping in France and you’re tonguing Joy and she’s coming like a train, DON’T shine the torch on her face.
When she starts sleeping with her boss, hit her. I mean really hit her, draw blood, break her jaw, her nose. Being a nice guy only takes you so far… she loves the nice guy but she’ll only whore for a bastard.












On the other hand… you could do what I did. I’ve been happily married for thirty-five years to a woman who even now manages to surprise me.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

TEX

There is no 17 year old YOU unless youre 17 years old. And who ever knew a teen who listened to anyone older than themselves? They know it all at 17.

You plan to warn your 17 year old self to stay away from sheep?

 

[_Lynn_]

And who ever knew a teen who listened to anyone older than themselves? They know it all at 17.

Funny, I knew nothing of what I should have known at 17.

I would have listened if someone had actually taken the time to talk to me . . .

I only knew too much about things a child should never ever know.

 

[TxRad]

TEX

There is no 17 year old YOU unless youre 17 years old. And who ever knew a teen who listened to anyone older than themselves? They know it all at 17.

You plan to warn your 17 year old self to stay away from sheep?

That 17 year old is still here in my head and heart. I don't know where yours is. As far as him listening to me now, hell yeah he does because he know better not to,.

What the fuck do sheep have to do with it? Another of your fantasies or trying at jabbing me? Haven't you learned that doesn't work on real people.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Funny, I knew nothing of what I should have known at 17.

I would have listened if someone had actually taken the time to talk to me . . .

I only knew too much about things a child should never ever know.

Idiot therapists love to play the Inner Child Game, but the past is a door marked NEVER MORE, and all there is is NOW. That 17 year old teen is as gone as a stuffed buffalo at the Field Museum in Chicago. You can talk to that buffalo all day, warning him to avoid fucking Indians and buffalo hunters, but he dont hear you.

 

[cloudy]

Idiot therapists love to play the Inner Child Game, but the past is a door marked NEVER MORE, and all there is is NOW. That 17 year old teen is as gone as a stuffed buffalo at the Field Museum in Chicago. You can talk to that buffalo all day, warning him to avoid fucking Indians and buffalo hunters, but he dont hear you.

Please, James....go play your games somewhere else.

 

[_Lynn_]

I apologize, Cloudy. I won't reply to his garbage again.

 

[popcorn2721]

Hey kid, I know your prescribed to the school of hard knocks.. but you need to listen to a few words of advice from someone who has been there. First off, you need to relax, chill the fuck out. Life is not that serious. You intimidate the fuck out of everyone around you with your intense behavior and extreme antics.
A few years from now you develop feelings for a girl you've known for years. You know shes been through allot and want to help but just because your good friends doesn't make her safe to love. Shes gonna rip your heart out and leave you to die.
Your thinking about joining the Marines. Its your dream and has nothing to do with the heat your receive from your Uncles and even worse your Dad. You'll finish school a few years later. You will be better doing your service than what is going to swing your way in a few years.
Speaking of which, while at that party having a good time your gonna meet someone. Life is a series of forks in the road that will take us to separate destinations. Here you took a left when you should have hung a right. Avoiding this collision of persons will save you years of struggle and strife only to end up in debt and hating the world. Look elsewhere kid.
From the time that your 17 to the point your 21 your going to cast some important stones in your life that will bring you to the day that Im at now. Im telling you now to live life without regret (I think the only real regret that I have is not doing my years of service). Let go of all the things that give you nightmares. All that baggage your carrying is doing nothing for you and for the family that your going to have. Be sure to hide your savings, don't trust anyone with knowing where your keeping your savings. Doing so will save you years in frustration.
With a stiff upper lip your going to turn one hundred eighty degrees from the severe and intense person you are today, into a family man with a wife and children. Don't be scared, you turn out to be a great father.