J
JAMESBJOHNSON
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Show me the 17 year old YOU. What we're really talking about is 25 years of regrets that you nurture and preserve.
Writing Exercise - Write a letter to your 17-year-old self
- Thread starter cloudy
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Show me the 17 year old YOU. What we're really talking about is 25 years of regrets that you nurture and preserve.
michchick98
Will write for chocolate!
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Leave it to JBJ (and a few others) to ruin what was essentially a really great thread. I hope we can all (in our own ways) simply ignore the assholes.
On behalf of cloudy, to those just wandering into this thread, please don't let the likes of JBJ discourage you from posting. It's a great "what if..." and I personally want to post more because I thought of so much more I could tell myself if such an opportunity existed. I'm enjoying reading the posts of those who are actually keeping this thread on topic.
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! And Happy Spring! It's 68 degrees and sunny here today! WOO HOO!
On behalf of cloudy, to those just wandering into this thread, please don't let the likes of JBJ discourage you from posting. It's a great "what if..." and I personally want to post more because I thought of so much more I could tell myself if such an opportunity existed. I'm enjoying reading the posts of those who are actually keeping this thread on topic.
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone! And Happy Spring! It's 68 degrees and sunny here today! WOO HOO!
Ohh God... the Wanker survives!
It's a writing exercise, Dick head.
I don't want to encourage you, James... but for Fucks sake go get a life... oh you can't... your life's over, all thats left is the bitter spew of failure. Here you get an audience largely because you are prepared to be more offensive than the majority accept. But you are not a democrat, you don't believe in majority opinion and you're not prepared to modify your tone... actually that's wrong... you've stopped using CAPITALS. Majority opinion doesn't require you (or anyone) to modify their input or comments, but it does require respect and you are plainly incapable of displaying respect of any opinion or topic that does not agree with your own narrow concept.
I don't like you. I don't ask you to like me. I don't like your predictable diuretic response to threads you have no ability to comment upon other than to display your innate inadequacy and puerile infancy. Live and let live, James. It's a hard ask but it beats the hard-on you apparently gain from pretending you are more than the sum of the parts. Let's be honest with one another, I'm opinionated... you are a wind up merchant who only gets off on antagonising people you have no chance of matching. You are welcome to the Forum. Make it your own... I'm more than happy to return you to ignore.
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
I respect the truth, NEOLYTE. I dont respect people who perpetrate a lotta bullshit via magical thinking. Its the sort of crap that changes nothing in the past. Lotsa folks on AH have mental disorders, and CLOUDY'S navel gazing pretending doesnt help them sort out real-unreal.
G
Guest
Guest
You're not going to like to hear this, but your future is just as uncertain in 13 years as it is now. At thirty, you won't know what you want to do, just as you don't know now.
The good news is, for over a decade you will remain employed. You will have none of the worries that your friends have about unemployment or homelessness. But your life will become transitory, your friends temporary and everything that you care about will fit into a few bags.
You will see and do things that you can never “un-see”. You are going to have to go overseas and fight an unpopular war against someone who believes stronger than you. Stand fast in your convictions though. Realize that these years you spend in the military will make you stronger than you could have dreamed.
You're going to meet a lot of women. Most of them are going to pay their bills in singles. Don't date them. Hold out for a wonderful woman. Between your first and second tours to Afghanistan you are going to meet a beautiful witty woman named Brenda. Hold on to her for dear life. When you fall in love with Shirley (and you will), walk away quietly. She and her sisters will only bring you heartache and misery.
You will remain an atheist. Friends will try to show you how faith has enriched their lives and you will try to follow their example and become Christian. Don't bother. Faith requires something intangible that you simply don't possess. Remain grounded in your belief in science and math. They don't have all the answers, either, but then no one really does and such things are truly inconsequential in the long run. Be tolerant about it and remember that Christians live their lives just the same way you do. One day at a time.
Don't walk away from promotion early in the game. You may think that you are inexperienced, but so is everyone else that they are promoting at the same time. If you hold off, you will hinder your career immeasurably.
As far as your parents are concerned, your mom will pull through and get surgery. Everything will be fine. When the weeks in the hospital come, know that it will be okay. When they find your dad, don't go into the room. Call a body removal specialist instead. There are whole crews for that, although you won't know it at the time.
Never take your work home with you. The Army can be all-encompasing at times, but do not let it overshadow your wife. I don't want to break the worst news to you, but you and Brenda can not have children. It just isn't in the cards. Look into adoption from the beginning. Maybe you can be parents while you are still in the service instead of waiting until you get out to foster. Other than that, the rest will pretty much take care of itself. These are some shitty things that I am telling you, but you are going to have a few choice, select friends that stand by you no matter what. You already know them. Stand by them and keep in touch with them. They will remain your lifeline while you are overseas.
Oh, and when you do finally get to Korea, do NOT eat the Kimchi. It tastes horrible. Franco is an asshole for trying to convince you otherwise.
Good luck
The good news is, for over a decade you will remain employed. You will have none of the worries that your friends have about unemployment or homelessness. But your life will become transitory, your friends temporary and everything that you care about will fit into a few bags.
You will see and do things that you can never “un-see”. You are going to have to go overseas and fight an unpopular war against someone who believes stronger than you. Stand fast in your convictions though. Realize that these years you spend in the military will make you stronger than you could have dreamed.
You're going to meet a lot of women. Most of them are going to pay their bills in singles. Don't date them. Hold out for a wonderful woman. Between your first and second tours to Afghanistan you are going to meet a beautiful witty woman named Brenda. Hold on to her for dear life. When you fall in love with Shirley (and you will), walk away quietly. She and her sisters will only bring you heartache and misery.
You will remain an atheist. Friends will try to show you how faith has enriched their lives and you will try to follow their example and become Christian. Don't bother. Faith requires something intangible that you simply don't possess. Remain grounded in your belief in science and math. They don't have all the answers, either, but then no one really does and such things are truly inconsequential in the long run. Be tolerant about it and remember that Christians live their lives just the same way you do. One day at a time.
Don't walk away from promotion early in the game. You may think that you are inexperienced, but so is everyone else that they are promoting at the same time. If you hold off, you will hinder your career immeasurably.
As far as your parents are concerned, your mom will pull through and get surgery. Everything will be fine. When the weeks in the hospital come, know that it will be okay. When they find your dad, don't go into the room. Call a body removal specialist instead. There are whole crews for that, although you won't know it at the time.
Never take your work home with you. The Army can be all-encompasing at times, but do not let it overshadow your wife. I don't want to break the worst news to you, but you and Brenda can not have children. It just isn't in the cards. Look into adoption from the beginning. Maybe you can be parents while you are still in the service instead of waiting until you get out to foster. Other than that, the rest will pretty much take care of itself. These are some shitty things that I am telling you, but you are going to have a few choice, select friends that stand by you no matter what. You already know them. Stand by them and keep in touch with them. They will remain your lifeline while you are overseas.
Oh, and when you do finally get to Korea, do NOT eat the Kimchi. It tastes horrible. Franco is an asshole for trying to convince you otherwise.
Good luck
oggbashan
Dying Truth seeker
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This is a response to the writing exercise. It is fiction based on some fact about a 17-year-old Og but NOT what I would really have said to myself at that time.
Think!
Australian girls have been great but you haven't formed any lasting attachment to any one of them. You know why. In a few months time you'll be leaving Australia to return to the UK. You know that. They know that - because you've told them. Part of their interest in you is because you are exotic in their surroundings. If you were a ten-pound Pom they wouldn't treat you the same - you'd be just another potential Australian and they would prefer a genuine one.
When you leave Australia, look around before making any moves to go back. If you did go back, who would you know? Would you be anywhere near the people you knew? Would they be the same if you were a struggling student or in a mundane job trying to survive?
You are grateful to Australian girls because you've just discovered girls. You would probably have felt the same about English girls if you had never left the UK. Don't let some pleasant but ephemeral encounters shape your future life. Concentrate on acheiving your goals for the next few years and then think whether it was Australia, or just Australian girls that you liked.
You have been taught how to plan and how to make lists of pros and cons before making decisions. Use your brain. What did you like and enjoy about Australia? What did you endure because you knew your time there was short? What could you change? What would you have to live with that you didn't like?
You will always be grateful to those you met in Australia, men, women and particularly girls of your generation. You will always remember Australia with affection but don't make decisions on sentiment alone. If you were to return, you would be a foreigner in their country, an immigrant remote from your immediate family and totally on your own. If that is what you want, do it.
Don't spend the next few years regretting "What if I had gone back?". Live in the UK as you have lived in Australia - trying everything and anything and enjoying the experience.
Og
Think!
Australian girls have been great but you haven't formed any lasting attachment to any one of them. You know why. In a few months time you'll be leaving Australia to return to the UK. You know that. They know that - because you've told them. Part of their interest in you is because you are exotic in their surroundings. If you were a ten-pound Pom they wouldn't treat you the same - you'd be just another potential Australian and they would prefer a genuine one.
When you leave Australia, look around before making any moves to go back. If you did go back, who would you know? Would you be anywhere near the people you knew? Would they be the same if you were a struggling student or in a mundane job trying to survive?
You are grateful to Australian girls because you've just discovered girls. You would probably have felt the same about English girls if you had never left the UK. Don't let some pleasant but ephemeral encounters shape your future life. Concentrate on acheiving your goals for the next few years and then think whether it was Australia, or just Australian girls that you liked.
You have been taught how to plan and how to make lists of pros and cons before making decisions. Use your brain. What did you like and enjoy about Australia? What did you endure because you knew your time there was short? What could you change? What would you have to live with that you didn't like?
You will always be grateful to those you met in Australia, men, women and particularly girls of your generation. You will always remember Australia with affection but don't make decisions on sentiment alone. If you were to return, you would be a foreigner in their country, an immigrant remote from your immediate family and totally on your own. If that is what you want, do it.
Don't spend the next few years regretting "What if I had gone back?". Live in the UK as you have lived in Australia - trying everything and anything and enjoying the experience.
Og
PoppingTom
TEH BRAIN
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I don't regret anything. I lived my life. I was going through a lot of feelings, met a lot of people, get a lot of opinions, shared a lot of good and bad things with friends and people I thought they were friends. I don't feel ashamed of me, in no way.
My goal at younger age was to get through every single feeling possible. I think I did a lot in that, I've catched a lot of feelings you only call "mental disorder". Well, do it. It only shows your missing knowledge in everything feeling based.
The truth is:"When something don't know, simply shut up!"
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
PT
Feelings signify nothing. Some enjoy the feelings of being smacked with a paddle; most of us dont. But no one has any idea of what joy feels like to you; maybe youre confused and think pain is fun.
But posting to a 17 year old who doesnt exist is crazy thinking; its like giving a speech in a cemetery. The whole thing is razz-matazz therapists use in place of competence.
Feelings signify nothing. Some enjoy the feelings of being smacked with a paddle; most of us dont. But no one has any idea of what joy feels like to you; maybe youre confused and think pain is fun.
But posting to a 17 year old who doesnt exist is crazy thinking; its like giving a speech in a cemetery. The whole thing is razz-matazz therapists use in place of competence.
geronimo_appleby
always on the move
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relax. have a nice cup of tea.
i reckon that this exercise can help put things into perspective. by recalling who i was then - my hopes, fears, etc - well, it could be very therapuetic.
i'm going to take my time on this one.
great thread idea.
PoppingTom
TEH BRAIN
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Maybe I can understand this, maybe not. There are a lot of feelings unknown to me, anyway, whenever people talk about their feelings, they can explain, why they feel that way, and the more they talk about, the more I can imagine how this feels.
If you say "feeling means nothing", you say, you never really felt. Sometimes it sounds like you see "feelings" as a psychotherapist's problem to solve on your patient. But feeling is about being connected to other people, you're not only feeling yourself, but other people, too. A musician with feeling plays live always like he is connected to his listeners, he plays with his listeners, waits for reactions, react on reactions, all that stuff. If he's happy, all the people are happy with him and have the feeling, they made him happy. That's why sometimes people say "s/he lost his feeling". It means he don't give a fuck about any reactions at all, doesn't care about the people, and could better play for himself.
Illusion ? Maybe. There are feelings that are illusions. But feeling itself is no illusion. It's an experience, and I feel sorry for anybody missing it.
Maybe, because you buried the 17 years old in yourself. I would give everything to be 17 again, with all the illusions I had at that time. I can laugh about him, but I like him.
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
Feelings are pretty basic, self-evident experience: SAD, PAIN, ANGRY, HAPPY, AFRAID, HORNY, TIRED, SLEEPY, HUNGRY, ETC.
Much of what people contrue as 'feelings' are sentiments and opinions, and the outcome of reasoning and experience and value judgments.
There is no 17 year old in me.
PoppingTom
TEH BRAIN
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Yes, right, feelings are sentiments. And feeling itself is a sentiment you never experienced. I'm sorry for you. You don't know, what you've been missing.
As I guessed, you buried him.
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
TEX'S 17 year old teeth and hair have left the building.
TxRad
Dirty Old Man
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No, he's sitting here watching you make an ass out of yourself.
PoppingTom
TEH BRAIN
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Let me tell you about such an "outcome of reasoning and experience".
It was a few years before the Big Change. Santana was announced to play in the "Palace of the Republic" in Berlin. Do you know how it feels to overnight in front of the ticket shop, together with maybe the half of the people who could fill that palace ? Be one of those rare who catched cards, as anybody only could get 2 ? And then, he played. He played his heart out, and after 3 songs, the whole palace danced. There were some 70 years old people, but they danced. There were nobody not dancing, and I admit, you would have danced, too. 2 hours long everybody danced. Experience ? Yes, off course, a very good one. To feel that everybody feels this one thing like you: that this concert is something special ! That this is a unique moment, and people out there envy you of being part of it. Ask Santana, if you met him in the states, it was one of his best concerts, apart from Woodstock. Sentiments? What do you think made those people dance? Just a bunch of noise ! Oh yes, it's so smart not to dance and to suss the whole thing. But I made the experience that sometimes it's much better to be not that smart and have fun with all the people.
BTW, I was 17 at that moment.....
It was a few years before the Big Change. Santana was announced to play in the "Palace of the Republic" in Berlin. Do you know how it feels to overnight in front of the ticket shop, together with maybe the half of the people who could fill that palace ? Be one of those rare who catched cards, as anybody only could get 2 ? And then, he played. He played his heart out, and after 3 songs, the whole palace danced. There were some 70 years old people, but they danced. There were nobody not dancing, and I admit, you would have danced, too. 2 hours long everybody danced. Experience ? Yes, off course, a very good one. To feel that everybody feels this one thing like you: that this concert is something special ! That this is a unique moment, and people out there envy you of being part of it. Ask Santana, if you met him in the states, it was one of his best concerts, apart from Woodstock. Sentiments? What do you think made those people dance? Just a bunch of noise ! Oh yes, it's so smart not to dance and to suss the whole thing. But I made the experience that sometimes it's much better to be not that smart and have fun with all the people.
BTW, I was 17 at that moment.....
stephen55
Literotica Guru
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If only...
Dear Jimmie "Shit For Brains" BJ,
When I wuz 17 I didn't give a shit about what anyone thought about anything. Still don't. That include you, ass-hat!! That's why you're going into psychology or rehab or whatever fuckin' useless ass-hat shit passes for therapy. Do me a favour and cure your piece of shit panty-waist ideals in one session.
Never take shit from anyone, including me, you fucktard. You're probably one of those half green niggers who's gonna cry when their momma dies. Don't go to Canada and stand about a mile and a half away from one of their coat-hanging snipers. Snerk...chuckle...whatever...
Dear Jimmie "Shit For Brains" BJ,
When I wuz 17 I didn't give a shit about what anyone thought about anything. Still don't. That include you, ass-hat!! That's why you're going into psychology or rehab or whatever fuckin' useless ass-hat shit passes for therapy. Do me a favour and cure your piece of shit panty-waist ideals in one session.
Never take shit from anyone, including me, you fucktard. You're probably one of those half green niggers who's gonna cry when their momma dies. Don't go to Canada and stand about a mile and a half away from one of their coat-hanging snipers. Snerk...chuckle...whatever...
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CharleyH
Curioser and curiouser
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Ya know... I've thought a lot about whether or not I could change my life. Just the other day, I thought ... what if ... I never met this person ... what if ... my mother had a breast exam five years earlier ... what if ... I never sold my shit and travelled to Europe or if I made this or that decision. I have thought a lot about if's and might have been's ... Every time I come to the same conclusion: if I changed even one little thing in my past, I'd never be as happy as I am right now.
I have nothing to say to my 17-year-old self. She did me fine.
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PoppingTom
TEH BRAIN
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Sorry, stephen, but you got a lot of useless hate for maybe the wrong person. There are people who can deal better with hate than with love.
And those "half green niggers who's gonna cry when their momma dies" have at least a little bit of feeling, which nobody shall attack. I wouldn't accept this done on my biggest enemy.
G
Guest
Guest
I like the tea picture. I may steal it.
geronimo_appleby
always on the move
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laurafairlie
Really Experienced
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17 is an age I have no desire to revisit for any reason. It was boring, stupid, punctuated by moments of mob mentality and groupthink and I wouldn't want to go back to that point in my life ever. I graduated and moved along. Part of evolving means putting the past behind. High-school is over and it was dumb.
michchick98
Will write for chocolate!
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So why bother posting on this thread at all then? Just had to get your two cents in, I suppose. Although, I'd bet cloudy meant this thread as more of a "what if", it certainly has veered off course because of posts like this and people like JBJ and the like.
I just don't get why people gotta post shit like this on a thread they have no interest in. You don't wanna participate, fine, but don't ruin it for the rest of those who do like this thread.
Have a nice day.
J
JAMESBJOHNSON
Guest
AWWWWW We drug you screaming back to reality. I'm surprised CLOUDY can recall when she was 17, it was a long time ago for most of you old girlz.
TxRad
Dirty Old Man
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Poor JBJ, he doesn't want the cheerios or have any real interest in the cheerios but he'll damned sure piss in them so no one else can have any.
Yeah, that about sums you up.
laurafairlie
Really Experienced
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Love the sincerity of the last part. "Have a nice day:" the ultimate catch phrase for the American and intellectually challenged. Goes well with other such phrases as, "Would you like to upsize that?"; "This phone call may be recorded for quality assurance purposes."
But seriously, back to the original thing. It's a free forum and a free world. I posted what I thought because I can.
