🌸 AMA ~ Honey 🌸

[Wild_Honey_66]

Favorite way to brew coffee?

In a Mason jar, on the counter overnight. Otherwise it tears up my stomach.

 

[cookiecat]

Not sure if this is too personal but how did you decide on your children's names?

What is one state you'd like to visit?

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Have you ever considered starting a thread Here on Lit?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Not sure if this is too personal but how did you decide on your children's names?

What is one state you'd like to visit?

I wanted my kids to have classic names that had a good track record, and I wanted their names to be meaningful. They each have at least one family name, or a version of it, and some have two. I'm fortunate in that we didn't argue a lot over baby names, i pretty much got to name them what I wanted. Except for the oldest, for whose name I did have to do some fast talking and serious negotiating the morning after she was born. But we ended up with something we both liked, so it was worth the effort it took me to drag myself out of my post-birth euphoria and don my business woman's cap for a few minutes.

Ohio, to visit my oldest online friend and her family. I met her more than fifteen years ago on a parenting forum. We've been pregnant together, we've lost babies together, we've struggled with body image and special needs children and serious health issues and difficult marriages and losing ourselves in the dailyness of being stay at home moms. We've seen our oldest daughters get married, and we've experienced our fertile years come to an end. We've shared books and music and movies and hopes and dreams and laughter and disappointment. Her support for me has been unwavering throughout the upheaval that took my life in a drastically different direction, and she is as dear to me as a sister.

Have you ever considered starting a thread Here on Lit?

Ahhhh ha ha ha ha!

I dunno, that seems like it might be out of my comfort zone, I'm not sure I'd be any good at it...

 

[seela]

What should I cook for dinner on Sunday?

 

[wicked woman]

Did you grow up in a demonstrative home?

 

[bigtallman]

I think people's contradictions can be interesting, so could you name a couple of things where it's "do as I say, not as I do"?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

What should I cook for dinner on Sunday?

Tri tip sandwiches on sourdough rolls, green salad with vinaigrette dressing, ranch beans. Pistachio pudding pie for dessert. Yum!!

Did you grow up in a demonstrative home?

Do you mean physically affectionate?
My mother was, but it was on her terms, and she did it to meet her needs, not mine. My dad and step-mom were not affectionate with me, neither were my ex-husbands.

I think people's contradictions can be interesting, so could you name a couple of things where it's "do as I say, not as I do"?

Haha! Do you mean how am I a hypocrite? Hmm... I have lots of room for improvement, no doubt. I'm better at encouraging people to do self-care than I am about doing it for myself. It's a work in progress.

 

[seela]

Tri tip sandwiches on sourdough rolls, green salad with vinaigrette dressing, ranch beans. Pistachio pudding pie for dessert. Yum!!

Off to google! Thanks, new things that sound tasty and I have no clue what many of those are. Maybe I'll make this next week. Cabbage goodness on the menu tomorrow.

 

[ultramarineblue]

In a Mason jar, on the counter overnight. Otherwise it tears up my stomach.

I prefer this method too. I started drinking tea instead because it is easier on my system. Since I discovered this method for coffee, I drink more coffee again.

What do you like to do for self care?

 

[grifin]

Of all the places you traveled or lived what has been your favorite?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Off to google! Thanks, new things that sound tasty and I have no clue what many of those are. Maybe I'll make this next week. Cabbage goodness on the menu tomorrow.

Cabbage! My mom's bff is Mennonite and I remember having the most delicious sauerkraut with apples and potatoes. Tri tip is a regional thing, deep pit beef is good for sandwiches as well. Deep pit, green salad, and beans is the go-to menu for informal fundraisers and company dinners in these parts.

When I was in school, my choir would hold a fundraiser every year at a big park near a river. We'd get to meet everyone's families, see our teachers in a more relaxed environment, and dance well into the mild spring evening to a band from a neighboring school. Good times!

I prefer this method too. I started drinking tea instead because it is easier on my system. Since I discovered this method for coffee, I drink more coffee again.

What do you like to do for self care?

A handful of years ago, I was severely depressed and couldn't get out of bed to eat or shower or get a drink of water. I cried for hours every day. At that point, self care looked like taking my meds, making myself eat and drink, and putting myself to bed by 10pm. Very basic, but they were a struggle for a long time. Today, self care looks like holding the ground I've already won and pushing myself to move forward: finding a better job, improving my self discipline, and committing to spending time on hobbies and creative pursuits.

Of those three, re-learning how to play and to do things purely for the enjoyment factor has been the hardest. I've started with reading fiction, just for fun, because that's the hardest for me to justify. I also moved my desk and bill-paying stuff out of my bedroom, in an effort to create one room in which I can look around and not feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities of life. It's not a Sanctuary yet, but I'm working on it.

Of all the places you traveled or lived what has been your favorite?

I've not travelled much, and nearly all of it happened with my parents, and before I was thirty. I've always lived in California. I've been to Hawaii, but I don't really like the tropics. Idaho and Colorado are beautiful. My dad took me back east with him on a business trip when I was eighteen. While we were there, we visited some historical sites and I remember the awakening of a passion for history and culture that has stayed with me.

But I think my favorite place is Yosemite. My family stayed there several times when I was in my teens, and it was the first place I remember experiencing a deep peace about life and my place in the world. I guess some people might look at the rocks and the canyons and the waterfalls and feel insignificant, but I found it... comforting, somehow.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Of those three, re-learning how to play and to do things purely for the enjoyment factor has been the hardest. I've started with reading fiction, just for fun, because that's the hardest for me to justify. I also moved my desk and bill-paying stuff out of my bedroom, in an effort to create one room in which I can look around and not feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities of life. It's not a Sanctuary yet, but I'm working on it.

I think you're amazing and you've done such a great job of this!
Keep growing, my friend.

 

[cookiecat]

Do you remember your dreams?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I think you're amazing and you've done such a great job of this!
Keep growing, my friend.

Thanks! . It's slow going, but I'm getting there.

Do you remember your dreams?

Not often, and they're almost always weird or disturbing. I tried to remember when I woke up today, but I was only able to capture a few little wisps. I had several dreams back to back, and they all just kind of pour into the next one without any real definitive boundaries.

I was in the back of a small bus, then a large department store or maybe a hotel, then a big old house. There were some places in between that I don't remember. In the last dream, I was hiding in the kitchen with some vulnerable beings for whom I was responsible. Probably children, maybe mine in the dream, but I don't think they were my actual kids. There were some men in a room across the hall who posed some kind of a threat to us, and I was trying to hold everything together long enough to figure out how to escape. Story of my life.

I've had several dreams over the years in which someone or something is trying to kill me, most often my father or my ex. My oldest daughter has had similar dreams about my ex.

Once in a very great while, I will have a dream that is peaceful and happy, and wake up feeling content and fulfilled. In those dreams, I'm almost always sitting somewhere outside, like on a wall, facing the sun, and a man is sitting next to me, periodically turning to look at me and smile. We don't talk, it seems unnecessary. We're just being. Together. And it feels like the deepest form of connection.

I almost never have sex dreams. Occasionally I will dream of being kissed, but it's a sweet, soft kiss. I almost never dream of people I know, or know well. There might be someone from high school, or someone I saw at the bank yesterday, but it's typically somebody completely random, with whom I have no real connection. There's almost never actual talking in my dreams, I can just feel what the other people are saying. And I can never scream when I'm in danger, I freeze up and can't move or make a noise. Years ago, I used to be able to fight back in a way, by singing. It was like a force field.

I imagine I could remember more of my dreams if I worked at it, but since they're usually pretty anxious, I'd just as soon forget about them.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I loved your response on self care. I'm so glad you pounted out how it will evolve or change depending on how things are. I think sometimes holding onto the ground gained is the hardest part.

What is your favorite kind of weather?

 

[cookiecat]

what makes you burn out on Lit? What gets you excited to stay on Lit?

 

[cookiecat]

Are you tired of AMA??

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I loved your response on self care. I'm so glad you pounted out how it will evolve or change depending on how things are. I think sometimes holding onto the ground gained is the hardest part.

What is your favorite kind of weather?

Overcast, cool, light rain on and off. I squeal like a little girl when I wake up to grey skies, it's an automatic mood booster. I'm happy, I'm energetic, I'm hugely more productive.

A distant second would be what I think of as coastal weather - partly sunny, but cool and breezy.

I really don't like the heat. Well, I'm not a big fan of sun, either, it gives me sunburn and migraines. . Autumn is my favorite season, for obvious reasons.

what makes you burn out on Lit? What gets you excited to stay on Lit?

Ooo, this is a good one. Hmm... I don't know that I'm here enough to get burned out anymore. Too much friction used to do it. Too much drama on the boards or rude men in my box. Or just the feeling that I was trying too hard to be everywhere at once.

What gets me excited? Good conversation, either serious or playful. But honestly, I think my heyday here is over, and I'm okay with that. I joined because my life was a mess and I was pretty freaking needy. But things are getting better, and I'm in a different place now, with different needs. I'm grateful for what I've learned here, it's a big part of the reason I've been able to get to where I am now.

Are you tired of AMA??

Nope! I just need to mix things up, do other stuff between answering questions. It's intense! And I like that, I just need to recover a little bit in between.

 

[cookiecat]

Do you like to go barefoot or always wear shoes?

 

[seela]

Do you have a song, smell, food etc. that always brings back a memory of a very specific, but utterly mundane moment?

If yes, what's the trigger and what's the moment?

I'm going to ask everybody this question, because among my friends I'm the only weirdo to have lots of mundane connections like that and everybody else only seems have these triggers for meaningful things. I refuse to believe I'm the only one.

 

[cookiecat]

When was the last time you used a hula hoop?

 

[cookiecat]

What are you wearing right now?

 

[cookiecat]

I miss you here. Where are you?

Yeah!!

 

[HotBrand]

Who is your favourite person of all time?

You can't say it's me. That's too cheesy and I'll judge you.

Alright, you can say it's me. I'll write my acceptance speech in advance.