a companion to 30 in 30

[Tathagata]

Congratulations on completing a very fine run, Mr. T. Good stuff.

Thank you Sir

 

[Tathagata]

awesome run Tath. can't wait for the next one!

Thanks WSO
That may be a while

 

[4degrees]

i always enjoy your poems immensely, tath. i hope you do it again, soon.

 

[Angeline]

Thanks WSO
That may be a while

Awww cmon. Start again tomorrow. Or today! I love reading your poems.

<waits for pm>

You really are a wonderfully gifted writer, T. Your poems have an authenticity to them that one rarely sees. Just point me in the direction of your next poem.

 

[TheRainMan]

Congratulations on completing a very fine run, Mr. T. Good stuff.

ditto, Boston.

great to have you back.

 

[darkerdreamer]

Love, Worship and Other Drugs

She learned the value of melodrama early,
in the days of teen royalty
when her legs were dangerous
wires that burned a man. She made them
drop their gloom and groceries, stand

at attention as if homage was their obligation,
their only chance. She worked her audience,
inflated their reverence as fully
as their cocks. That
is how she brought them to their knees.

Somewhere, they stopped believing.
And she refused to believe
a younger man could pollute her
silks and walk away,
refused to acknowledge
the sympathy in older women’s eyes,
that she’d become one of them.

She wondered if she only acted a bit tragic,
would they think her a desperate woman.
If she sat alone in bars, all fancied up,
would they call her pathetic. If
she couldn’t stop that little twitch in public,
would they know her medicine chest
had swelled like an infection—

the only thing she knew about the connection
between love and pharmacology
was every time she took ten
red capsules with a sloe gin fizz,
she felt all warm and fuzzy.
And it wasn’t much of a reach
to play out the role of diva on Sunset
Boulevard, to think if she took one more
handful and dialed the phone,
help would be on the way.
Or so she imagined, at the time.

There is a certain lack of poetry in particular lines of this piece and it works perfectly. Like in:

She worked her audience,
inflated their reverence as fully
as their cocks.

Dig it.
I do.

 

[wildsweetone]

There is a certain lack of poetry in particular lines of this piece and it works perfectly. Like in:

She worked her audience,
inflated their reverence as fully
as their cocks.

Dig it.
I do.

i would call that poetry too, actually, 2d. *smile* but then, i think i'm a tad biased.

i compliment you TRM on some wonderful editing.

i'm enjoying reading your 30/30ish.

 

[darkerdreamer]

i would call that poetry too, actually, 2d. *smile* but then, i think i'm a tad biased.

i compliment you TRM on some wonderful editing.

i'm enjoying reading your 30/30ish.

Yeah, yeah, was trying to cleverly say he used it as a great poetic device. Obviously, I can't match Rainbow's wit-o-meter.

 

[wildsweetone]

Yeah, yeah, was trying to cleverly say he used it as a great poetic device. Obviously, I can't match Rainbow's wit-o-meter.

well, you're getting there.



sometimes it's just easier to say what is.

 

[RhymeFairy]

. . . editing



Love, Worship and Other Drugs


She learned the value of melodrama early,
in the days of teen royalty
when her legs were dangerous
wires that burned a man. She made them
drop their gloom and groceries, stand

at attention as if homage was their obligation,
their only chance. She worked her audience,
inflated their reverence as fully
as their cocks. That
is how she brought them to their knees.

Somewhere, they stopped believing.
And she refused to believe
a younger man could pollute her
silks and walk away,
refused to acknowledge
the sympathy in older women’s eyes,
that she’d become one of them.

She wondered if she only acted a bit tragic,
would they think her a desperate woman.
If she sat alone in bars, all fancied up,
would they call her pathetic. If
she couldn’t stop that little twitch in public,
would they know her medicine chest
had swelled like an infection—

the only thing she knew about the connection
between love and pharmacology
was every time she took ten
red capsules with a sloe gin fizz,
she felt all warm and fuzzy.
And it wasn’t much of a reach
to play out the role of diva on Sunset
Boulevard, to think if she took one more
handful and dialed the phone,
help would be on the way.
Or so she imagined, at the time.

I read this one s l o w l y

I did not see that it had already been commented on, so forgive :


I love it, because

RM, You drew me in. With a soft hearted plea to come, watch ... this woman fall apart. I hate to say it, for women/men ... have no tolerance for these things now-days BUT you painted the perfect picture and I MORE than dig it ... awesome piece my friend. Just wondering ... did anyone notice, how the ending justifies the means. Great wording with a magnetic pull. That's my two cents, for what it's worth ~ U know ... Love love love your writing ~~

 

[TheRainMan]

thanks for the thoughts, y'all.

it's nice to know people are reading the 30/30 thread. i know it's the first place i click to read poetry when i come here . . . kicks the shit out of the "New Poems" . . .

. . . maybe someone should review that thread, make those reviews a sticky.

why, you can find Eve hiding behind a rat's AV, or be reminded why we all missed Tath so much . . . see for yourself the dramatic poetic strides writers like Curt and wildsweetone have taken over the past year or two . . . find a new writer like double d, who popped up out of nowhere, watch AChild come back after an absence and put up some fine stuff, wonder when Calli or anna or Tzara or Lauren will make another run, or Angeline surprise us and grace us with what we all miss from her.

i don't mean to leave anyone out, which is what happens when you start listing names . . . the thought of reading 30 poems from so many writers here, one day after the other, gives me a rush.

there's a lot of talent on these boards.

 

[wildsweetone]

thanks for the thoughts, y'all.

it's nice to know people are reading the 30/30 thread. i know it's the first place i click to read poetry when i come here . . . kicks the shit out of the "New Poems" . . .

. . . maybe someone should review that thread, make those reviews a sticky.

...

okay... i want to know more about this. (thank you for the other stuff though ).

i'd accept suggestions - can i improve on how i'm doing my reviews?

 

[TheRainMan]

okay... i want to know more about this. (thank you for the other stuff though ).

i'd accept suggestions - can i improve on how i'm doing my reviews?

i think the reviews have taken a dramatic step upward recently. that is obvious. you, and the others, have been doing a great job.

improve?

well, it depends what the word "review" means to you.

take your pick . . . (i go with the first one, for our purposes here . . . you may not).

*****************************************************

re·view /rɪˈvyu/ –noun

1. a critical article or report, as in a periodical, on a book, play, recital, or the like; critique; evaluation.
2. the process of going over a subject again in study or recitation in order to fix it in the memory or summarize the facts.
3. an exercise designed or intended for study of this kind.
4. a general survey of something, esp. in words; a report or account of something.
5. an inspection or examination by viewing, esp. a formal inspection of any military or naval force, parade, or the like.
6. a periodical publication containing articles on current events or affairs, books, art, etc.: a literary review.
7. a judicial reexamination, as by a higher court, of the decision or proceedings in a case.
8. a second or repeated view of something.
9. a viewing of the past; contemplation or consideration of past events, circumstances, or facts.
10. Bridge. a recapitulation of the bids made by all players.
11. Theater. revue.
–verb (used with object) 12. to go over (lessons, studies, work, etc.) in review.
13. to view, look at, or look over again.
14. to inspect, esp. formally or officially: to review the troops.
15. to survey mentally; take a survey of: to review the situation.
16. to discuss (a book, play, etc.) in a critical review; write a critical report upon.
17. to look back upon; view retrospectively.
18. to present a survey of in speech or writing.
19. Law. to reexamine judicially: a decision to review the case.
20. Bridge. to repeat and summarize (all bids made by the players).

********************************************************


let me ask you a question.

are you mentioning poems in the reviews that you consider poor, and holding back that opinion, or fudging it in some way, for whatever reason?

answering that question honestly to yourself will go a long way toward answering the question you ask in the post above.

 

[wildsweetone]

i think the reviews have taken a dramatic step upward recently. that is obvious. you, and the others, have been doing a great job.

improve?

well, it depends what the word "review" means to you.

take your pick . . . (i go with the first one, for our purposes here . . . you may not).

*****************************************************

re·view /rɪˈvyu/ –noun

1. a critical article or report, as in a periodical, on a book, play, recital, or the like; critique; evaluation.
2. the process of going over a subject again in study or recitation in order to fix it in the memory or summarize the facts.
3. an exercise designed or intended for study of this kind.
4. a general survey of something, esp. in words; a report or account of something.
5. an inspection or examination by viewing, esp. a formal inspection of any military or naval force, parade, or the like.
6. a periodical publication containing articles on current events or affairs, books, art, etc.: a literary review.
7. a judicial reexamination, as by a higher court, of the decision or proceedings in a case.
8. a second or repeated view of something.
9. a viewing of the past; contemplation or consideration of past events, circumstances, or facts.
10. Bridge. a recapitulation of the bids made by all players.
11. Theater. revue.
–verb (used with object) 12. to go over (lessons, studies, work, etc.) in review.
13. to view, look at, or look over again.
14. to inspect, esp. formally or officially: to review the troops.
15. to survey mentally; take a survey of: to review the situation.
16. to discuss (a book, play, etc.) in a critical review; write a critical report upon.
17. to look back upon; view retrospectively.
18. to present a survey of in speech or writing.
19. Law. to reexamine judicially: a decision to review the case.
20. Bridge. to repeat and summarize (all bids made by the players).

********************************************************


let me ask you a question.

are you mentioning poems in the reviews that you consider poor, and holding back that opinion, or fudging it in some way, for whatever reason?

answering that question honestly to yourself will go a long way toward answering the question you ask in the post above.

mmm much food for thought.


as i'm not getting paid to gloss/gush, nor to trample, i try to avoid doing that by leaving a little 'me' behind.

yes, i could do it. i could be straight up and say this poem is very poorly written, please toss it and begin again. but i see no point to doing that. heck, if someone had done that to me (instead of offering a helping hand) i may not have stuck it out and learnt more.

i think in the last few short weeks of me offering my thoughts on poetry, i have had about a dozen PMs or emails from poets thanking me for helping them to see a little more clearly where they need to improve.

maybe one of those poets is going to be a future poet laureate - God knows, they're certainly not born laureates.

i think, for this site, i am doing a reasonable job of making poetry a focus.

i also think not everyone is like me (thank God) and not everyone has the want, need, or perhaps ability, to do the same thing as me.

it would be boring as hell to read the same kind of reviewing day in and day out.

wso
ps if i get a pay increase, i'll promise to practice trampling - whether i do it or not is another point entirely.

 

[TheRainMan]

. . . i think, for this site, i am doing a reasonable job of making poetry a focus . . .

oh, so do i.

you've been complimented, and the praise has been well-deserved.

so, i guess you've answered your own question.

 

[wildsweetone]

oh, so do i.

you've been complimented, and the praise has been well-deserved.

so, i guess you've answered your own question.

i guess i was doing a 'woman thing' and thinking out loud. lol

it would be an interesting task to spend a day with a book reviewer, that's for sure.


i've just realised that i misread your post... you were talking about reviews for the 30/30 and not reviewing the reviews. ---interesting concept that one, want to take on the job?

i should make a rule for myself... no reading threads until after i've spent a couple of hours writing poetry in the mornings. lol

 

[TheRainMan]

. . . want to take on the job?

. . .

nope.

 

[wildsweetone]

nope.

i knew that was coming.

 

[WickedEve]

Did Pat say I was hiding behind a rat's ass?

 

[wildsweetone]

probably.

actually, i'm not touching that with a barge pole. neither the comment, nor the rat.

 

[wildsweetone]

. . . editing.


*


. . . jesus christ, i put up
the wrong poem here.

and now i can't find the right one.

i think i trashed it by mistake.

what a fuckin' mess i am.

chill out Rainman. you're doing great. i'm loving your poetry editing.

if you use MSWord to type your poetry, then open the program and see if it comes up by itself, if not, check in the 'recent documents' area. if you have Word on automatic save, it will keep your work saved for you (if it's saving often enough).

if you still can't find it after looking there, let me know and i'll help you through searching on your computer for it. it's easy peasy okay?



ps if you don't understand what i'm saying, then i'll step it one at a time for you. easy

 

[Tzara]

. . . editing.


*


. . . jesus christ, i put up
the wrong poem here.

and now i can't find the right one.

i think i trashed it by mistake.

what a fuckin' mess i am.

This one was rather outside of your usual style, TRM, but I'm pleased to see that you are stretching your aesthetic. This poem seems somehow grittier, more open to exposing the poet's faults, inadequacies, and self-doubt than much of your work, and it speaks directly to those of us amazed and confused by modern technology. A very naked and heartfelt poem.

Who among us indeed has not lost a document in some self-created maze of Windows folders layered like a snail's trail slimily appended to that so cozily and falsely named entity "My Documents?" One twists here, twists there, and nothing ever seems to come of it. "Where's the damn file?" we shout, but do we ever find it?

Well, I don't. And I work in the effing computer industry.

A brave poem, sir. One that is spare, but clean and to the point.

Kudos.

 

[Guest]

...

(thanks neon for the idea behind this poem, from a post you made on the blurt thread containing the words '...fill in my blanks')

That fine, fill in my blanks or don't, as long as you weren't calling me the neurotic wood nymph!

 

[wildsweetone]

That fine, fill in my blanks or don't, as long as you weren't calling me the neurotic wood nymph!

yeah, i don't know where that came from. lol

 

[TheRainMan]

chill out Rainman. you're doing great. i'm loving your poetry editing.

if you use MSWord to type your poetry, then open the program and see if it comes up by itself, if not, check in the 'recent documents' area. if you have Word on automatic save, it will keep your work saved for you (if it's saving often enough).

if you still can't find it after looking there, let me know and i'll help you through searching on your computer for it. it's easy peasy okay?



ps if you don't understand what i'm saying, then i'll step it one at a time for you. easy

i tried . . .

i think it's a goner.

easy come . . .