a companion to 30 in 30

[todski28]

End of the line for me for now. It's been enjoyable.

That is a Shane GM I w/qas greedily awaiting your next revision every day. Thanks for the look at the way you manipulate words, sounds and phrases to sharpen your intended message through out your poems, I have learnt a lot from seeing how you do what you do. Not to mention you poetry is of the highest caliber here.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Desejo, your 3-1 is deliciously dark. I felt and enjoyed it. Nice writing.

 

[pensivepoet]

Desejo, your 3-1 is deliciously dark. I felt and enjoyed it. Nice writing.

I agree wholeheartedly. Wish i had written it~i never write anything i like. I love a point hammered home at the end.
~just read your latest, Des. The envelope, soft folds. Top notch

 

[Neonurotic]

Bumping this thread as a reminder to post comments to the "30 Poems in 30 Days" challenge thread here.

Thanks, the management.

 

[Desejo]

1-21 Trixareforkids - I really like your 1-21. I'd like to see that one with a title posted to lit. I haven't had time to read all your previous ones on this thread but I will

 

[Trixareforkids]

1-21 Trixareforkids - I really like your 1-21. I'd like to see that one with a title posted to lit. I haven't had time to read all your previous ones on this thread but I will

Thank you Desejo. I plan on doing the 30 edits as soon as I'm done with this 30. I'll take the best (or just my favorites) of what I've done across the threads and edit and submit one a day. I like 1-21 too so that will be one of my 30 edits.

 

[pensivepoet]

~tzara 2-11
This four line poem is more brilliant than you know
~trix 1-29
Join the fray, i need a guide

 

[Tzara]

~tzara 2-11
This four line poem is more brilliant than you know

I don't know, I have a pretty inflated idea of my brilliance.

But thanks for the compliment.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Tzara, your 2-15 gave me a chuckle.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Alright gang, I've started the 30 Edits challenge because its where I have the most work to do. I am crap at it for the most part so please y'all, chime in. I'll take anything from helpful hints to a battle ax.

If there's any piece you'd like to see reworked let me know. I've been writing like an addled fiend in preparation for this so any time in the next 30 days would be a good time to let me have it. I may not understand all you say but I'll work at it.

Thanks y'all

 

[Tzara]

Tzara, your 2-15 gave me a chuckle.

Thanks, Trixie.

 

[pensivepoet]

Hey trix
I really liked your last edit, but wish you could've salvaged the "more twisted than i"
I missed it

 

[Trixareforkids]

Hey trix
I really liked your last edit, but wish you could've salvaged the "more twisted than i"
I missed it

Thanks Pen, I'm not sure I'm finished editing it, who knows it may come back before I record and submit it.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Tzara, you did it again

Your 2-19 made me laugh. Like the black humor.

 

[Tzara]

Your 2-19 made me laugh. Like the black humor.

Thank you, Trixie.

 

[Angeline]

Thank you, Trixie.

"chastise" is good. "surmise" would work well, too, I think. Maybe that's too much thinking about poet regularity....

 

[Tzara]

"chastise" is good. "surmise" would work well, too, I think. Maybe that's too much thinking about poet regularity....

That might well be a better choice of word.

I'm not thinking a lot on these exercises. (Sorry, Neo.)

These are metrical scales, like those things violinists do to make sure they stop the string at the proper point.

I'm (idly, I suppose) working on technique.

Not well, of course, and quite clumsily. Still,
it always counts to get the rhythm right.

 

[greenmountaineer]

I usually don't comment on a poem I've written but would like to make an exception here.

"Black and White TV" is about how racism was pervasive in the culture prior to the Civil Rights Movement that really didn't start until the mid-sixties. It wasn't just racism. When the poet, Ezra Pound, was incarcerated for treason, resulting from his radio broadcasts in Italy under Mussolini, he admitted to Howard Nemerov, a fellow poet who was interviewing him, that he was guilty of "suburban anti-semitism."(Leave it to Pound to coin a phrase!).

Although he avoided the question, many regarded Eliot in the same way. At one point, he gave a lecture series at the University of Virginia, apparently unaware his words were being recorded, and made extemporaneous comments people today would regard as racist, again of the "suburban" kind.

To those unfamiliar with the fifties, in particular, when I was growing up, "Amos 'n Andy" was a popular sitcom in which the black characters were portrayed basically as buffoons. It's no surprise that the show, as far as I know, hasn't been on TV for quite a while.

 

[Trixareforkids]

Damn GM, 4-7 is powerfully good stuff. The edit had me there.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Damn GM, 4-7 is powerfully good stuff. The edit had me there.

Thanks. I think this thing has had nine lives.

 

[pensivepoet]

Loved your 1-10 trixmeister. The slow build, then energy, then a soft desire. Especially like the fire, flesh and steel raining.
Good stuff

 

[Trixareforkids]

Loved your 1-10 trixmeister. The slow build, then energy, then a soft desire. Especially like the fire, flesh and steel raining.
Good stuff

Thanks Pen, it was a fun write.

 

[greenmountaineer]

I loved reading "Old Shirt," trixie, better, I thought, than "Misogyny's Morning Wood," but then again I'm a guy and wood, I mean, would.

 

[Trixareforkids]

I loved reading "Old Shirt," trixie, better, I thought, than "Misogyny's Morning Wood," but then again I'm a guy and wood, I mean, would.

LOL, yes, you would, wooden you.
This is actually courtesy of OldBear. He encouraged me to write the female perspective of one of his poems. Don't think he's submitted yet though. His is quite sweet, tried to keep the same feel.

 

[greenmountaineer]

1-17 nicely done, Trixie. "Wormy" made me think of how the author of the letter couldn't keep a steady hand when writing; "holes" in the paper is also a powerful image, suggesting effort, pain perhaps in destruction, "leaking" of emotions; all sorts of things came to mind.

The alliteration dispersed between stanzas had a great effect.

I wasn't quite sure who "she" is; (a letter to yourself, eg, journaling?) I'll have to think about that more. The last 5 lines give closure, yes, but part of me wanted the poem to end without them.

I really enjoyed this as I am all of your writing.