A question for those of you who have met up with a friend you met online

[Paul_Chance]

I've had experiences on both ends of the spectrum.

I once met up with an online friend and there was some pretty complex chemistry happening, and not in the good way. I can't say what turned her off on me, but for my part of the equation it was three things.

First, she was recently divorced (within a year or two) and in conversation she constantly brought up her ex-husband and intermittently compared me to him. That was a mood killer.

Second, her son and her daughter in law were along for the trip. No problem there, except her son was a dick and she kept making snide comments at her daughter in law. Another mood killer.

Then finally, third, she kept asking my opinion - and then promptly telling me my opinion was wrong. (There is a type of person whose conversation style is "immediate disagreement" - I know a few other people like that and it's a tough one for me to tolerate for very long.)

It stands out in my memory because it was an outlier. Most of the people I've met in person following an online connection have been close to what they seemed like online and a few of them the chemistry was even hotter.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I have met up with quite a few of my online friends. Most of them for just lunch or dinner, but not all. It was never weird or awkward and I’ve had mostly wonderful experiences except that one guy who later turned into an asshole.

My favorite meet up was my most recent. I met him on Reddit and it turns out he was also on Lit, but over on the chat side so our paths had never crossed. We quickly hit it off and over the course of some months became very close. I have never been in a rush to meet someone I met online, but always said if the opportunity presented itself I would be open to it. This time was different. We both agreed that we needed to meet to see if what we felt online and the connection we had was as strong in person. It became a matter of when, not if.

Very recently an opportunity presented itself for me to fly out to meet him. I tried not to have any expectations because I knew there was always a chance the chemistry wouldn’t be there in person. I knew in my heart it would be, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up just in case. We talked about just hanging out and spending time in each others presence as we knew if nothing else we would have fun just talking and laughing because we had become such great friends.

When the day finally came, I was so excited. I wasn’t nervous at all. I just couldn’t wait to meet this person who had changed my life for the better in so many ways.

When I opened the door he gave me the biggest bear hug that lingered for a while. Then he looked at me and said he needed to kiss me, which he did. We knew in an instant that not only was the chemistry there in person, but it was even better than either of us could have imagined. It was like all of the feelings we had for each other that had built up over the last few months just exploded all at once and we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. It wasn’t planned or expected, but it was amazing. I didn’t realize how much I had missed even the simplest of things like a soft, sweet kiss on my neck or stroking my hair while I lay my head on his chest.

Saying goodbye was awful, but as hard as it was, it was totally worth it. I didn’t think we could get any closer, but meeting in person definitely elevated things to a new level. It was one of the best weekends of my life and I can’t wait to do it again…very soon.

 

[rushman1uk]

Yes, at a hotel we agreed to meet at as I (male) would be stopping there anyway, as I was seeing a band later that night. My now Mrs (pictured) was dropped of by a taxi, first time we'd actually met each other, rather than phone calls. Straight past reception, lift up to my floor, as soon as we're in my room, we could keep our hands of each other.

 

[masterslave00]

Until COVID I used to travel a lot all around the world giving lectures in my research topic. I have met many of my on-line colleagues, but also other on-line acquaintances.

With most of them, we usually met, had dinner or drinks, pleasant talk and parted our ways. But there were few where there was the right chemistry and we ended in bed. In a few cases, we have met at other times too and I had two FWBs in two different cities (Paris and New York) with whom I was meeting regularly for several years.

 

[Kat73]

I have met several Litsters over the years.

The first one lived close and we met several times. Our connection was amazing. The first time I stepped into his arms, I felt like I was where I was supposed to be. It was complicated and wasn't meant to be for more than the few visits.

The second person I met was my Spicy. From the moment we hugged, it was electric. We spent two weeks in each other's arms. Sadly, that was the only time we were able to be together.

My next meet up was DarkSimian. We try to get together a couple times a year. We have been a thing for almost 7 years. I love our time together!

I have met several other litsters over the years for fun or friendship. All were who they said they were and we enjoyed our time together.

 

[Lady2020]

Two was enough for me. The first one was bad enough.

 

[ycym]

I guess it work quiet well for me. One is now the wife of my brother, the other was my wife until we got divorsed.
One was a crazy ONS riding my cock like hell, for one I wasn't ready to start a relationship. (Sadly, she was wonderfull...)
One made herselfe 10 years younger but we fucked for a while very intense, One I am living with but we don't fuck anymore for health reasons, staying friends.
Oh, and one date that I messed up. I was so flattered and I keep talking about myself - bad error. Shit happens, you are learnin from this.
There had been some other online liances which doesn't worked out to meet in rl, most time because of distance. And there had been a view bondage sessions, one or two dressed, the others ended up having safer sex (I am not stupid)... you know, if the rope push the right buttons... ;-) but it was always agreed before starting the session.
As long as you try to be yourself and don't pretend to be someone else, if you build up an online relationship over longer time, make sure that the person you are chatting to is really the person she pretent to be, if you made yourself horny texting in front of the first rl date... I never had a really disappointing rl date with online people.

 

[BongoGal]

A lot were horrible first dates...One bled during dinner, another cried during a romantic comedy…

Why was your date bleeding during dinner? About the crying during a romcom, was this an inappropriate full-on sobbing or just a bit teary-eyed?

 

[Girly_girl]

I have met up with quite a few of my online friends. Most of them for just lunch or dinner, but not all. It was never weird or awkward and I’ve had mostly wonderful experiences except that one guy who later turned into an asshole.

My favorite meet up was my most recent. I met him on Reddit and it turns out he was also on Lit, but over on the chat side so our paths had never crossed. We quickly hit it off and over the course of some months became very close. I have never been in a rush to meet someone I met online, but always said if the opportunity presented itself I would be open to it. This time was different. We both agreed that we needed to meet to see if what we felt online and the connection we had was as strong in person. It became a matter of when, not if.

Very recently an opportunity presented itself for me to fly out to meet him. I tried not to have any expectations because I knew there was always a chance the chemistry wouldn’t be there in person. I knew in my heart it would be, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up just in case. We talked about just hanging out and spending time in each others presence as we knew if nothing else we would have fun just talking and laughing because we had become such great friends.

When the day finally came, I was so excited. I wasn’t nervous at all. I just couldn’t wait to meet this person who had changed my life for the better in so many ways.

When I opened the door he gave me the biggest bear hug that lingered for a while. Then he looked at me and said he needed to kiss me, which he did. We knew in an instant that not only was the chemistry there in person, but it was even better than either of us could have imagined. It was like all of the feelings we had for each other that had built up over the last few months just exploded all at once and we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. It wasn’t planned or expected, but it was amazing. I didn’t realize how much I had missed even the simplest of things like a soft, sweet kiss on my neck or stroking my hair while I lay my head on his chest.

Saying goodbye was awful, but as hard as it was, it was totally worth it. I didn’t think we could get any closer, but meeting in person definitely elevated things to a new level. It was one of the best weekends of my life and I can’t wait to do it again…very soon.

What a wonderful story!

 

[Cyber_Bella]

Why was your date bleeding during dinner? About the crying during a romcom, was this an inappropriate full-on sobbing or just a bit teary-eyed?

He had shaved off a mole on his neck, and took the toilet paper off. I just remember him holding a napkin to his neck and asking for a bandaid at the table as I was cutting into my roast beef. Just ruined my appetite.

Full on sob and I inquired what was wrong and he said a woman in the movie reminded him of his ex. There is more to the story after the movie, but needless to say, I never saw him again.

 

[Paul_Chance]

He had shaved off a mole on his neck, and took the toilet paper off. I just remember him holding a napkin to his neck and asking for a bandaid at the table as I was cutting into my roast beef. Just ruined my appetite.

Full on sob and I inquired what was wrong and he said a woman in the movie reminded him of his ex. There is more to the story after the movie, but needless to say, I never saw him again.

Whew - giant red flag there (and not the shaved mole). I've been there - where someone you meet is obviously still hooked on an ex.

 

[BongoGal]

He had shaved off a mole on his neck, and took the toilet paper off. I just remember him holding a napkin to his neck and asking for a bandaid at the table as I was cutting into my roast beef. Just ruined my appetite.

Full on sob and I inquired what was wrong and he said a woman in the movie reminded him of his ex. There is more to the story after the movie, but needless to say, I never saw him again.

Wow...I was hoping for different 'less bad' explanations, but no, I guess not. I was hoping that you'd say that 'bled' was a typo and that you meant that your date was a disaster because he 'fled'. Nope...there was actual dripping blood during dinner. I do understand moles just bleeding and bleeding. For reasons that I don't fully understand, moles when cut take much, much longer to stop bleeding than a similar cut on regular skin. I've seen bandaids applied on a cut mole simply get soaked in blood until the blood starts dripping from the bandaid. If your date wounded himself right before the date, he should have rescheduled.

I was also kind of hoping that your crying date was just wiping misty-eyed tears away after a heart-tugging scene. I mean, I can get teary at some sad scenes in movies that some other folks aren't affected by, and I wouldn't dismiss some guy for doing the same, but jeez...sobbing because of being reminded of an ex? That is too pathetic to tolerate. He wasn't deliberately showing you that he was very far from being over his ex, but his subconscious was waving a big red flag in your face. At least you got out before the post-coital meltdown.

 

[silky52]

This thread is really cool. Yes, I met up with two people I met on here one was a great guy and there was definitely a spark, but we just met for lunch. I am still friendly with him. With the other guy we had been online friends, (or so I thought) for about a year or so. I have a good marriage, but the sex is vanilla, if it happens at all, and he's got prostate issues, so it's not his fault. So, I guess this was on my bucket list. When we finally met I was so excited, it was so surreal, I won't go into the details, but we had been camming for a long time. Unfortunately, for me he didn't think we were friends, and although we carried on for a while online after we parted and had had (or at least I thought) a really great time, he declined to meet again. I had told him that I had feelings for him, and his response to my suggestion made me feel awful, and instead of saying something like, "I'm sorry another time," he just said he had other committments! My question would be how do you chat, cam with someone for so long almost every day and not have feelings for them, not that I was going to break my marriage up, but I felt close to him, friendly, cared about him, as in when he had an accident I tried to support him. Cheer him up, just generally being his friend.... very sad that some can act this way. As I like to say this is not a sex site, it's an erotic site, and that can mean anything, IMHO!

 

[jason28053]

I have never met anyone on Lit irl but I met my best friend of today online. His best friend at the time was a guy I was dating. We started keeping in touch online and developed a close friendship that is brother/sister like. We never met in person while I dated his friend, but eventually we met irl and it was super comfortable. We knew each other well already. At one point in time he lived with me for a few months..we've seen each other at our rock bottoms. That was like 15 years ago when we met and we're still besties. While nothing sexy happened at the time we met, meeting was fun and so worth it!

Interesting

 

[eomerson]

This thread is really cool. Yes, I met up with two people I met on here one was a great guy and there was definitely a spark, but we just met for lunch. I am still friendly with him. With the other guy we had been online friends, (or so I thought) for about a year or so. I have a good marriage, but the sex is vanilla, if it happens at all, and he's got prostate issues, so it's not his fault. So, I guess this was on my bucket list. When we finally met I was so excited, it was so surreal, I won't go into the details, but we had been camming for a long time. Unfortunately, for me he didn't think we were friends, and although we carried on for a while online after we parted and had had (or at least I thought) a really great time, he declined to meet again. I had told him that I had feelings for him, and his response to my suggestion made me feel awful, and instead of saying something like, "I'm sorry another time," he just said he had other committments! My question would be how do you chat, cam with someone for so long almost every day and not have feelings for them, not that I was going to break my marriage up, but I felt close to him, friendly, cared about him, as in when he had an accident I tried to support him. Cheer him up, just generally being his friend.... very sad that some can act this way. As I like to say this is not a sex site, it's an erotic site, and that can mean anything, IMHO!

That is downright sad. I have gotten too invested at times to my own detriment. sigh

 

[Baldo_bearded]

I've not met anybody from lit in real life, but have met a few friends on kik that are local. One person I have been talking to for years amd we are very close, she is now Mrried but we still run errands togrther. Most others were not sexual at all but I wound up getting naked woth one friend to send photos to the group we were in. Quite an adventure that day.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

This thread is really cool. Yes, I met up with two people I met on here one was a great guy and there was definitely a spark, but we just met for lunch. I am still friendly with him. With the other guy we had been online friends, (or so I thought) for about a year or so. I have a good marriage, but the sex is vanilla, if it happens at all, and he's got prostate issues, so it's not his fault. So, I guess this was on my bucket list. When we finally met I was so excited, it was so surreal, I won't go into the details, but we had been camming for a long time. Unfortunately, for me he didn't think we were friends, and although we carried on for a while online after we parted and had had (or at least I thought) a really great time, he declined to meet again. I had told him that I had feelings for him, and his response to my suggestion made me feel awful, and instead of saying something like, "I'm sorry another time," he just said he had other committments! My question would be how do you chat, cam with someone for so long almost every day and not have feelings for them, not that I was going to break my marriage up, but I felt close to him, friendly, cared about him, as in when he had an accident I tried to support him. Cheer him up, just generally being his friend.... very sad that some can act this way. As I like to say this is not a sex site, it's an erotic site, and that can mean anything, IMHO!

There are so many possible explanations for this, none of which is likely to make you feel better, and none of which reflects partiularly well on him.
One possiblity is that you were just a conquest for him, "another notch in my guitar," as Robert Cray sang. Unfortunately, there just are some men who can seem warm and sympathetic and understanding when they are just manipulative and heartless. In other words, to use the medical term, a complete asshole. This seems pretty unlikely.

I think that, more likely, he was spooked by your expression of your feelings and began to fear that a relationship with you was going to intrude upon and affect his real life relationship. You describe your marital situation, but you don't say anything about his. But, as long as you were someone that he interacted with on the internet, no matter how intimately, you were separable from his real life. Once you met in person, that line started to blur. You say that you were not going to break up your marriage for him, but he may have feared differently. It still does not reflect well on him not to be able to express his concerns honestly and with a bit of empathy, but that would be consistent with his statement that he had other commitments. Did her fear that a relationship with you would intrude on another commitment?

I doubt any of these will make you feel any better. You ask a legitimate question that is on your mind, for understandable reasons, so I offer an answer.

May I ask one question that may shed some more light on him? Is he still on Lit? I'm not asking who he is, just whether, after breaking up with you, he has continued to post here.

 

[SassySheDevil]

There are so many possible explanations for this, none of which is likely to make you feel better, and none of which reflects partiularly well on him.
One possiblity is that you were just a conquest for him, "another notch in my guitar," as Robert Cray sang. Unfortunately, there just are some men who can seem warm and sympathetic and understanding when they are just manipulative and heartless. In other words, to use the medical term, a complete asshole. This seems pretty unlikely.

I think that, more likely, he was spooked by your expression of your feelings and began to fear that a relationship with you was going to intrude upon and affect his real life relationship. You describe your marital situation, but you don't say anything about his. But, as long as you were someone that he interacted with on the internet, no matter how intimately, you were separable from his real life. Once you met in person, that line started to blur. You say that you were not going to break up your marriage for him, but he may have feared differently. It still does not reflect well on him not to be able to express his concerns honestly and with a bit of empathy, but that would be consistent with his statement that he had other commitments. Did her fear that a relationship with you would intrude on another commitment?

I doubt any of these will make you feel any better. You ask a legitimate question that is on your mind, for understandable reasons, so I offer an answer.

May I ask one question that may shed some more light on him? Is he still on Lit? I'm not asking who he is, just whether, after breaking up with you, he has continued to post here.

Very well said. Communication is so important, and it sucks when someone disappears without explanation. I personally tend to assume (which is bad) that it was me. I wasn't good enough, pretty enough etc. But I am pretty sure some have stopped talking after meeting me because they assumed (again. Bad) that they could change my mind on the no sex rule.
How easily someone can walk away is one of the reasons for that rule.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Very well said. Communication is so important, and it sucks when someone disappears without explanation. I personally tend to assume (which is bad) that it was me. I wasn't good enough, pretty enough etc. But I am pretty sure some have stopped talking after meeting me because they assumed (again. Bad) that they could change my mind on the no sex rule.
How easily someone can walk away is one of the reasons for that rule.

My greatest regret from Lit is that I walked away suddenly, without explanation, from a woman I used to talk to on Kik almost daily. Unlike you, there was a real sexual component, and it was fun. But we also shared a fair amount about our lives and beliefs.
When two of my wife's sisters both became gravely ill at the same time, I suddenly felt the need to do away with my virtual life, and I cut off contact with no explanation. I can tell myself I was under a lot of stress, but I could have found the time to explain, instead of just deleting KIk.

 

[SassySheDevil]

My greatest regret from Lit is that I walked away suddenly, without explanation, from a woman I used to talk to on Kik almost daily. Unlike you, there was a real sexual component, and it was fun. But we also shared a fair amount about our lives and beliefs.
When two of my wife's sisters both became gravely ill at the same time, I suddenly felt the need to do away with my virtual life, and I cut off contact with no explanation. I can tell myself I was under a lot of stress, but I could have found the time to explain, instead of just deleting KIk.

At least you can admit that though. While it doesn't offer her any closure. It takes maturity to admit that.

And don't get me wrong. There have been those sexual components. I just won't cross that line in real life. I'm too jealous. I'd fuck someone's brains out and then come back here to lit and watch them flirt with someone else and lose my mind.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

At least you can admit that though. While it doesn't offer her any closure. It takes maturity to admit that.

And don't get me wrong. There have been those sexual components. I just won't cross that line in real life. I'm too jealous. I'd fuck someone's brains out and then come back here to lit and watch them flirt with someone else and lose my mind.

I did talk to her about it. We communicate occasionally here. She has said that she understands. But of course, the relationship is gone. I was not there when she went through some big changes, but she seems to be doing well.

As for the sexual components, our relationship was strictly on line. I would not cross that line in real life, either.

 

[ace195008]

God , these stories sounds like mine. I meet a lady very hot at a hotel , she parked her car there and came home with me, short skirt no bra or panties, we were making out getting very hot and then all of a sudden she stopped , we ended up talking instead of anything obvious. Even down this road a couple times, this was a bunch of years ago. It’s hard to read someone who does this, she didn’t give a reason. I meet her through AFF . Meet another one via POF, meet her for dinner, after dinner went back to her place and she said we wouldnt work out, she would change my clothes, teeth, etc. this was ugly to say the least.

 

[Apisto42]

Disclaimer: I haven’t read the whole thread.

I’ve met a few woman from lit in real life. But the objective of the meet up was never sexual. So only positive memories.

There was a more local forum I was on once upon a time that the point was sexual. Also only good memories and no regrets.

Though anytime I see a tinted SUV parked around that area I’m reminded of the feeling of my cock down a couple of different throats.

Edit for OP’s questions: the chemistry was even better in person than it was online. Positive feedback from partners as well with subsequent meetups.

 

[elizaloo]

I met both a lover and a husband here on Lit. The lover didn't last but the husband has been mine for 15 years.

The chemistry was insane with both. Husband and I met with the intention of fucking ourselves silly but quickly realized that the fucking was so good we might as well make it permanent.

At this point in our relationship, we've decided on an open marriage and are both pursuing potential lovers. I'd totally be up for meeting one of my flirts from Lit IRL.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Today was a good day to update this since I just posted our picture. But out of the many Litsters I have met. 4 years ago today, I got to meet @13Fantasies Because of our height differences. I had always told him that if we were ever near one another, I wanted a picture. He came to Seattle for work and we spent a few hours around Seattle, then I drove him to the airport. We found a super cool glass blowing place and had lunch there. https://forum.literotica.com/threads/show-us-your-face-vol-6.1558088/post-96664160