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Annoncing my poem! You jey!

unpredictablebijou said:
Let's not talk money. Let's talk... favors.

And of course slavish devotion to Her Most High Nymph of Shenanigans, in the dust of whose feet are the fairy sparkles of the cosmos.

If you like shiny things, you might also want to see my 87-carat table-cut amethyst. Won it in a card game a few years ago. Trick sleeves...

bijou
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I have just been hypnotized reading your biographical note...and am seeing "white screen" now...

Favors you say? Are they shiny favors? *starts humming*

I can slavishly devote to you if the reward is right...now about those items... *grins* Those sound pretty "right"! :D
 
Anytime I am bartering with someone for shiny things (which is in fact what I do for a mundane living, in essence) I always start with, "Well, what can you do that I can't?"

Everybody's got a talent. And if you're really into taking risks, well, you can just "owe me one..."

My biography wasn't originally intended to hypnotize, but I'm liking that it does.
You are getting sleeeeeepy.... You will bring me an Orange Julius and a Mounds barrrrr....


bijou
 
unpredictablebijou said:
Anytime I am bartering with someone for shiny things (which is in fact what I do for a mundane living, in essence) I always start with, "Well, what can you do that I can't?"

Everybody's got a talent. And if you're really into taking risks, well, you can just "owe me one..."

My biography wasn't originally intended to hypnotize, but I'm liking that it does.
You are getting sleeeeeepy.... You will bring me an Orange Julius and a Mounds barrrrr....


bijou
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You sell your sisters and brothers for a living! I'm shocked!!

In a shenanigan update. I have been perfectly behaved and everyone I have paid to say that I have been perfectly behaved will attest to my behaviour. Anyone not on the payroll, is not to be believed.
 
Sara Crewe said:
You sell your sisters and brothers for a living! I'm shocked!!

In a shenanigan update. I have been perfectly behaved and everyone I have paid to say that I have been perfectly behaved will attest to my behaviour. Anyone not on the payroll, is not to be believed.
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I don't sell them. I just run an expensive adoption agency.

And anyone who would like to tell me what ACTUALLY happened while I was gone can expect his or her payoff doubled.

...or lie to me. I've been known to richly reward good, vivid lies.

bijou
 
The 30-in-30 comments people are going to skin you two.

Pogo here. I don't know nothin' about college towns. I went to school in the Ghetto (okay, next to the ghetto, but we didn't have a coffeeshop or bars or bookstores; I had to travel miles and miles for that stuff and--considering what my parents had to pay to send me to that sad excuse for a college life--I'm bitter about that to this day).
Anyway, having been to Blair, NE once, on a week-long, all-expenses-paid trip to ethanol country, I can personally confirm everything my pet Cooper's Hawk (her name is Cooper--she likes the irony) says about the Great Plains States: they are all poor substitutes for (the nicer parts of) big cities.

I see my hawk's been posting on my account. My apologies, she likes to drink pure grain alcohol and spout off from time to time (I knew it was a bad idea to bring her along on that tour of the ethanol refinery). Maybe she should get her own account. But don't be too hard on her, please. She's got self-esteem issues: she doesn't like being an Accipiter. I know, I know...I keep telling her she's beautiful, a true hawk; but she completely convinced she'd be better off as a Buteo (a buzzard!). She's fascinated by red-tailed hawks, can't stop talking about how wonderful they are, superb fliers, the best hunters ("'Best hunters?' They're lazy hunters, scavengers and opportunists; you're the good hunter--you fly circles around them." "No, they're the best" I gave up arguing a long time ago). And that tail! I wish she'd shut up about how gorgeous the red-tailed hawk's tail is. "Yes, it's a fine tail; but yours is fine too. It's long in relation to your body size and that makes you much more maneuverable than--" "--Oh, but it's not red." And that's the end of that.
Most of the time it's funny, but there are occasions I have cause to worry. Example: She once dyed her tail red with elderberry juice, if you can believe it. Then she flew around for the next couple of weeks, doing her best imitation of a red-tailed hawk, right down to the cries and calls. Tried hunting voles and field mice exclusively "because that's what red-tails eat." An awful diver (of course, she had to hunt like a red-tail, too), she didn't get a single kill in 12 days; damned rodents saw her coming a mile away. She must have lost 4, maybe 5, ounces in those two weeks. I think, in the end, hunger got the best of her and she went back to easier prey in the woods.
Silly bird.


And you absolutely can't eat her! Crazy Bushwhackers.
 
Sara Crewe said:
But I heard she tastes just like chicken.
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Okay, for the record, we were both drinking and listening to Al Green; it was one night and we'll just leave it at that.

Let's never mention it again.
 
You can count on me. My lips will be sealed as soon as my bribe arrives in the mail.
I won't even ask about Al Green.
 
Picodiribibi said:
The 30-in-30 comments people are going to skin you two.

Pogo here. I don't know nothin' about college towns. I went to school in the Ghetto (okay, next to the ghetto, but we didn't have a coffeeshop or bars or bookstores; I had to travel miles and miles for that stuff and--considering what my parents had to pay to send me to that sad excuse for a college life--I'm bitter about that to this day).
Anyway, having been to Blair, NE once, on a week-long, all-expenses-paid trip to ethanol country, I can personally confirm everything my pet Cooper's Hawk (her name is Cooper--she likes the irony) says about the Great Plains States: they are all poor substitutes for (the nicer parts of) big cities.

I see my hawk's been posting on my account. My apologies, she likes to drink pure grain alcohol and spout off from time to time (I knew it was a bad idea to bring her along on that tour of the ethanol refinery). Maybe she should get her own account. But don't be too hard on her, please. She's got self-esteem issues: she doesn't like being an Accipiter. I know, I know...I keep telling her she's beautiful, a true hawk; but she completely convinced she'd be better off as a Buteo (a buzzard!). She's fascinated by red-tailed hawks, can't stop talking about how wonderful they are, superb fliers, the best hunters ("'Best hunters?' They're lazy hunters, scavengers and opportunists; you're the good hunter--you fly circles around them." "No, they're the best" I gave up arguing a long time ago). And that tail! I wish she'd shut up about how gorgeous the red-tailed hawk's tail is. "Yes, it's a fine tail; but yours is fine too. It's long in relation to your body size and that makes you much more maneuverable than--" "--Oh, but it's not red." And that's the end of that.
Most of the time it's funny, but there are occasions I have cause to worry. Example: She once dyed her tail red with elderberry juice, if you can believe it. Then she flew around for the next couple of weeks, doing her best imitation of a red-tailed hawk, right down to the cries and calls. Tried hunting voles and field mice exclusively "because that's what red-tails eat." An awful diver (of course, she had to hunt like a red-tail, too), she didn't get a single kill in 12 days; damned rodents saw her coming a mile away. She must have lost 4, maybe 5, ounces in those two weeks. I think, in the end, hunger got the best of her and she went back to easier prey in the woods.
Silly bird.


And you absolutely can't eat her! Crazy Bushwhackers.
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Wouldn't eat her. Carnivores don't taste good. Unless they're a certain form of higher primate and they're still alive.

I was trying to be topical on the 30/30 board. I was. Talkin' about people's poetry and everything. But Sara distracted me with shiny objects. 'Course, I'm very easily distracted.

Golly, a Cooper's hawk with self-esteem issues. Why don't you just give her her own persona on the board? Perhaps she could be Neonurhawktic.

I don't know, nor do I attempt to defend, Nebraska or other plains states. I am Kansan alone; though I've only actually lived in the area for 20 years, and grew up in very large urban centers like Detroit and Boston and Chicago, it's the only place I've ever claimed to be "from".

I have lived in Iowa. The phrase "startlingly unpleasant" comes to mind. Stole that from another writer. Iowegians are on their own if they wanna try to defend that place.

I'm sure it's very nice...

bijou
 
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unpredictablebijou said:
Wouldn't eat her. Carnivores don't taste good. Unless they're a certain form of higher primate and they're still alive.

I was trying to be topical on the 30/30 board. I was. Talkin' about people's poetry and everything. But Sara distracted me with shiny objects. 'Course, I'm very easily distracted.

Golly, a Cooper's hawk with self-esteem issues. Why don't you just give her her own persona on the board? Perhaps she could be Neonurhawktic.

I don't know, nor do I attempt to defend, Nebraska or other plains states. I am Kansan alone; though I've only actually lived in the area for 20 years, and grew up in very large urban centers like Detroit and Boston and Chicago, it's the only place I've ever claimed to be "from".

I have lived in Iowa. The phrase "startlingly unpleasant" comes to mind. Stole that from another writer. Iowegians are on their own if they wanna try to defend that place.

I'm sure it's very nice...

bijou
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I think I need to get out of this house. Sick-bed isolation is slowly sucking away brain cells. For at least a second, I had a rather alarming picture of Bijou pullin' a Henry the eigth on a rather agitated gorilla who was struggling to free his foot from her jaws.

Okay. Continue your state sniping. I am above them all so I don't feel the need to get involved.
 
unpredictablebijou said:
Golly, a Cooper's hawk with self-esteem issues. Why don't you just give her her own persona on the board? Perhaps she could be Neonurhawktic.
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Turns out you've got to be 18 to post here. She's only 3.
I've directed her to post here in the future; I doubt she'll know the difference.
 
Sara Crewe said:
Just warn her they tend to choke when the playoffs draw near.
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Pessimist! They just signed Jason Kapono, arguably the best 3-point specialist in the game; his beyond-the-arc shooting ability should make a big difference next season.

What are you going to tell her next? That T. J. Ford is a vegetarian?

That's enough! Stop traumatizing my bird.
 
I was just refering to past seasons. Didn't say I wasn't a fan. She can sit with me at the season opener. I promise I will only eat popcorn.
 
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Sara Crewe said:
I was just refering to past seasons. Didn't say I wasn't a fan. She can sit with me at the season opener. I promise I will only eat popcorn.
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She says okay -- but only if she gets to sit next to you courtside (she like to razz the referees).
 
unpredictablebijou said:
Yeah, that'll be GREAT for her self-esteem...
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That's what I was thinking.

(Don't tell her that TJ Ford only eats beans...apparently that won't go over well)



Loved your poem today btw. The anarchist in me is saying that here and not over there because she feels like it.


Anyone else a typing idiot when they are using a new keyboard. Fecking hell. The typos I have made today could choke a chicken (which even if cooked properly would taste nothing like a Hawk named Cooper)
 
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Picodiribibi said:
She says okay -- but only if she gets to sit next to you courtside (she like to razz the referees).
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Good for you for not saying 'peck at the referees'. I would not have been able to resist. Tell her we're on.


Now I just need to figure out who I need to sleep with or where I need to donate my right arm in order to get court side seats. :cool:
 
Y'know, I've been looking back over this thread, and I bet MMVTVMTM had no idea of the mad, fascinating little club he was forming when he started the whole thing. At least I find you people mad and fascinating, and I'm the Vizier so I get to spin the press on this one.

Reminds me of a favorite movie quote, from My Man Godfrey:

"All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people."

bijou
 
unpredictablebijou said:
Y'know, I've been looking back over this thread, and I bet MMVTVMTM had no idea of the mad, fascinating little club he was forming when he started the whole thing. At least I find you people mad and fascinating, and I'm the Vizier so I get to spin the press on this one.

Reminds me of a favorite movie quote, from My Man Godfrey:

"All you need to start an asylum is an empty room and the right kind of people."

bijou
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I, for one, am glad I am not within swatting range of MTVM.

I'm all for being one of the crazy people as long the word lobotomy never comes up in causal conversation.
 
Sara Crewe said:
I, for one, am glad I am not within swatting range of MTVM.

I'm all for being one of the crazy people as long the word lobotomy never comes up in causal conversation.
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I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me...

So did I hear you say you were STILL sick? And after that stellar poem I wrote and the head of St. Ferdibald I brought you from out west and everything? We can't have this. Shall I begin having the medicians executed one by one until you're all better?

bijou
 
Sara Crewe said:
I, for one, am glad I am not within swatting range of MTVM.
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My raech is far, Canadiem! Bewar!
My swat's nor never simple, au contraire.
Swat I unjust? Oh, no! And no no no!
Sawt I to be impervious? No. Show
Here how lowyl girl's and boy's confit, imeersed
In howlnig, lowling smut, time is besmershed.
Heer things are lowe, and pricing can't I mete.
Be silent nowe! I sawt you unto sleeope.
 
MTVM said:
My raech is far, Canadiem! Bewar!
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Is MTVM going to wretch on me? 'Cause I will step aside if wretching is about to ensue. :devil: Although I feel a certain amount of pride that I am barf-worthy of our most esteemed letter-poet-person.


Despite your best efforts, O great Vizier, I have not fully recovered as of yet. Definitely go ahead and execute anyone who has not helped me get better in the last few weeks. I will let you be the judge of who has done a good job and who has fallen short. Two weeks is too long to be sick in the summer and the good people of Lit need me to stop posting and grab a life.
 
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