as a bdsmer do you take yourself too seriously?

[dolf]

nobody is admitting the stick...and there must be some here.

 

[Red Sonja]

Yep... and i like it. i love anal play...(oh... you didn't mean like that, did you)

(Tongue firmly in cheek) I'm a lawyer and mom of two tweenagers so before Dh gets home I strip and kneel in the living room ( after locking the kids in their bedrooms) and wait with his favorite drink.

Then the kids and Dh sit at the table while I am chained underneath eating from a dog bowl. These rituals are critical to my ability to continue being submissive. If I didn't fry bacon naked (see how masochistic I am) every morning, well, I just don't think we could continue as a couple.

I know that what he wants goes. I would never vocalize my opinion to him, no matter how much he wants to know it... that would be presumptous.

But... lately... I worry that he is spending time with someone who can think for themselves and doesn't call him to ask what to eat for lunch, and dinner, who doesn't act afraid to tell him what movie she wants to watch...

I think it's my evil twin... oh... and I will soon speak Klingon (Dh wants to drag me to the Concordia Language Camps section for Klingon)

 

[Joe Schmoe]

but it's in my nature to be extra polite to the doms {note the lower case on the d...it's because i'm lazy}, just ask anyone

honest..

Yeah I noticed that right from the start.

I am serious about the lifestyle but there is a time and place for everything and I think my country farmboy background has helped teach me to never be too serious about myself.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I guess it would all depend on whose definition of "way too seriously" one is using.

According to my definition... No.

 

[Kajira Callista]

i'm actually asking a serious question.

i'm sure you've all met them...the sub or dom who is ALWAYS in "role"...is this good/bad/neither?

i'll admit that i giggle at them a little. i also wonder if they have some kind of insecurity and that they hide behind the role.

:cue pissed off response:

so, can you take it all too seriously?

depends on what you mean by role.
i tend not to "play" a role, i am what i am and that is submissive. Not just some times but all the time.
people who play roles because they think they are supposed to are not the type of people i want to be around, but i often do get fooled by them because of who i am. im not saying im a dumb stump door mat but i do tend to believe people that say they are into this life and i usually end up unpleasantly surprised in the end.

 

[shy slave]

shy slave will recall this one...a "dom" who said that any sub who entered his house must remove her clothes and sit on the floor, whether it was his sub or not. i think he had issues.

apparently some subs actually did it

He attends our local munch. I introduced dolf to him, he thought she was lovely and sweet

I know lots of subs who do as he demands when they visit, I met him for coffee in the summer and asked him about it. He said it was a way to show their respect for him. I openly laughed and said I would not be visiting him at home, after all i don't have a selection of toys for Doms to use everytime they visit.

Funnny though, until dolf and I spoke up about this, people in the munch thought it was ok.

He doesn't talk to me much now

I love all PYLs who take themselves seriously, they are such fun to reduce to almost tears in just a few words


Can I vote for the stick please, if its clean and lubed first?

 

[Red Sonja]

<snip>


Can I vote for the stick please, if its clean and lubed first?

NOOOOO.... I got the stick already. It's mine! So there!

 

[shy slave]

NOOOOO.... I got the stick already. It's mine! So there!

Wanna share? after all it has two ends

 

[Kajira Callista]

He attends our local munch. I introduced dolf to him, he thought she was lovely and sweet

I know lots of subs who do as he demands when they visit, I met him for coffee in the summer and asked him about it. He said it was a way to show their respect for him. I openly laughed and said I would not be visiting him at home, after all i don't have a selection of toys for Doms to use everytime they visit.

Funnny though, until dolf and I spoke up about this, people in the munch thought it was ok.

He doesn't talk to me much now

I love all PYLs who take themselves seriously, they are such fun to reduce to almost tears in just a few words


Can I vote for the stick please, if its clean and lubed first?

never ask for it clean and lubed...unless you really dont want it that way.

 

[Red Sonja]

Wanna share? after all it has two ends

It does, doesn't it? Well, then why not! What's an ass stick between friends?

 

[Marquis]

ok, i'm allowed to vote "dolfie, shut up!" but who was the other git who voted?

i'm betting it was marquis.

Actually I just got here, but for the record your friend sounds like a mack.

No clothes in the house for any sub, I wish I had thought of that.

 

[graceanne]

It does, doesn't it? Well, then why not! What's an ass stick between friends?

ROFLMAO

Sure, be funny while I'm busy.

 

[A Desert Rose]

depends on what you mean by role.
i tend not to "play" a role, i am what i am and that is submissive. Not just some times but all the time.
people who play roles because they think they are supposed to are not the type of people i want to be around, but i often do get fooled by them because of who i am. im not saying im a dumb stump door mat but i do tend to believe people that say they are into this life and i usually end up unpleasantly surprised in the end.

She's absolutely right. I don't do roles, either and never have.

On the other hand, I'm jaded enough now to NOT believe what most people say until proven otherwise.

 

[Miss Diva]

Then the kids and Dh sit at the table while I am chained underneath eating from a dog bowl. These rituals are critical to my ability to continue being submissive.

Are the kids allowed to feed you the vegetables they don't like?

 

[Red Sonja]

Are the kids allowed to feed you the vegetables they don't like?

Nope. Unless of course it's brussells sprouts or lima beans... an extra added torture.

 

[marieR19]

*giggles and joins in on the fun conversation*

First I'd just like to point out that I've been seriously lacking around here lately, because of NaNoWriMo (and I didn't/won't even win!). But I am back full-force to catch up and have fun with all of you who I know like me for who I am. *hugs* .....Oh, until the eighth or ninth that is, 'cause then my girl is coming to visit for a week, and I probably won't be online at all then. lol

Anyways, back to the subject at hand. As many people have pointed out, I don't consider it "play". Even so, I hesitate to say what exactly I do consider it, or how serious I take it.... When I'm feeling very horny and/or submissive (usually they go together of course) I am usually very serious about my submission and about pleasing my mistress. However, I have to admit that there are many times when I am not serious enough... We have not spent enough time in dominate/submissive mode for me to automatically fall into it when we start "playing" or whatever, so sometimes I question/refuse/defy/etc, and usually it's not a big deal because we're still learning limits and what we are and aren't ready for, but sometimes it makes things awkward and stuff for a bit. But all in all I think I'm getting better at being serious when I need to be.


Heather

 

[kinkyknots]

It's possible to take anything too seriously.

I hate to judge those who live the lifestyle 24/7, but some of them do remind me of Star Trek fans who wear the uniform and speak only in Klingon.

Ain't THAT the truth!

 

[dolf]

Actually I just got here, but for the record your friend sounds like a mack.

you can't respect him...i made him nearly cry.

if he can't handle a sub as sweet as me then what can he handle?

 

[stirbird]

Actually I just got here, but for the record your friend sounds like a mack.

No clothes in the house for any sub, I wish I had thought of that.

You didn't watch much Star Trek Deep Space 9, did you?

 

[stirbird]

LOL, well what gets me in terms of appearing to be 'playing' a role other than 'living' it is when I know the people involved, or observe them for some time and notice that it is only when they feel people are watching, or when in public venues that they begin the whole 'kneeling at my Master's feet' or 'unquestioning obedient slave' roleplay. To me that is playing a role as opposed to living it. For example, I know a few people where the female sub quite happily lays down the rules, objects and refuses to do anything that does not fit with their needs at the moment, do not submit at all, but when in public, the sub begins suddenly dropping at his feet, eyes lowered, pull out a collar and wrap it quickly around their neck, and begin pretending to be submissive.....5 minutes later and out of earshot of others they once again are very vocal about what will and won't be happening, rip off the collar at first opportunitym and breathe a sigh of relief to not have to act out the role any longer. I don't particularly view either the sub or Dom in these situations as being who they promote publicly, but that is their issue, not mine, I just don't want to live it that way myself.
:

Oh those freaks. Yep, run into a few like that in my time. The worst offenders I knew advertised the sub's deep submissiveness to the world on a pay pornsite. I think they wanted to believe it was so, but mostly it was a money swindle. They ran money swindles on all their friends and family as well, were addicted to hard drugs, neglected and lost their children... I guess they were sort of an exception. But I do know the type.

I constantly roleplay in real life: I play straight, as in conventional. I do it extremely well.

 

[stirbird]

you can't respect him...i made him nearly cry.

if he can't handle a sub as sweet as me then what can he handle?

I suspect you're being droll, but I'm doing straight man time in this thread, so... Making someone cry (or nearly cry) doesn't necessarily say anything about the submissiveness or dominance of the people involved, although it might. It all depends on the circumstances. I just wanted to make the point that the dom as emotionless "man of steel" is a bdsm newbie myth... well, unless the dom is on some pretty strong drugs.

 

[dolf]

I just wanted to make the point that the dom as emotionless "man of steel" is a bdsm newbie myth.

really? really really? gosh!

 

[stirbird]

really? really really? gosh!

You'd be surprised at how many people claim to know this but act differently, dumkofpt.

 

[dolf]

You'd be surprised at how many people claim to know this but act differently, dumkofpt.

insulting me in greek is unfair since i'm far too silly to stupid to recognise it.

 

[Bandit58]

Oh dear.......I'm certain to fail the "real sub" test......I mean, my name is capitalised! And I use capital "I" when I refer to myself.....none of this W/we Y/you U/us stuff either.

Shoot.....I'm not even naked here It's too cold for a start

Here's a link some of you may find interesting:

Misnomers, Little White Lies and Big Honkin' Whoppers of the BDSM Scene