As a Master How Would You Feel...

[Harmony_1985]

I have a question to pose to everyone who has given an opinion of this thread.

For those of you who have supported the idea of a Dominant denying his/her submissive permission to talk to other men/women, do you not think it shows a lack of trust?

If Daddy said I couldn't talk to other boys, I'd be asking him why not, because I'd feel like he didn't trust me to talk to other boys without getting up to something.

I wouldn't be able to do it anyway, alot of my friends are male, and there's the small topic of my boyfriend lol.

 

[Hisscarlett]

whywouldi

"You should become a muslim !"

My answer to that is why would I?

I cannot understand what religion has to do with this.

 

[Hisscarlett]

Harmony 1985 I really don't think it is a lack of trust at all, I can talk to whoever I choose to as long as Master is aware of it and hasn't banned me from talking to them, and there are very few that I am banned from speaking to. And of those two people one is a old female friend who treated me badly.

It is purely a matter of my respecting his ownership of me, I guess that there are so many varying protocols, ranging from very formal to very informal.

We fall somewhere in between as despite the rule of not being allowed to hug other men, bar family members, I am pretty much free to act as I see befitting to my slavery to Master.

 

[00Syd]

I have a question to pose to everyone who has given an opinion of this thread.

For those of you who have supported the idea of a Dominant denying his/her submissive permission to talk to other men/women, do you not think it shows a lack of trust?

If Daddy said I couldn't talk to other boys, I'd be asking him why not, because I'd feel like he didn't trust me to talk to other boys without getting up to something.

I wouldn't be able to do it anyway, alot of my friends are male, and there's the small topic of my boyfriend lol.

I would probably see it as a lack of trust, unless given an explanation for the rule that didn't sound like BS.

 

[LadyC]

whywouldi

"You should become a muslim !"

My answer to that is why would I?

I cannot understand what religion has to do with this.

Moslem women are not loved by their masters (husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, any fucking son of Allah in the world) but are merely an extension of those masters. In most bondage situations a Master will control his minion with love. If there is no love, he is not a Master he is a BULLY.

 

[CutieMouse]

Moslem women are not loved by their masters (husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, any fucking son of Allah in the world) but are merely an extension of those masters. In most bondage situations a Master will control his minion with love. If there is no love, he is not a Master he is a BULLY.

That's a rather blanket statement...

 

[Tabea]

Moslem women are not loved by their masters (husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, any fucking son of Allah in the world) but are merely an extension of those masters. .

How did you come to this "interesting" conclusion?

Do you actually know any Muslims?

 

[LadyC]

How did you come to this "interesting" conclusion?

Do you actually know any Muslims?

What other religion will not allow a woman to own property? What other religion excises a girl's clitoris? In what other religion are women who have sex outside marriage put to death? You'll say this is here say also.

 

[LadyC]

What other religion will not allow a woman to own property? What other religion excises a girl's clitoris? In what other religion are women who have sex outside marriage put to death? You'll say this is here say also.

Honest

 

[CutieMouse]

What other religion will not allow a woman to own property? What other religion excises a girl's clitoris? In what other religion are women who have sex outside marriage put to death? You'll say this is here say also.

Show me that mainstream Muslims all treat women in such a manner. Yes, there are there are fringe extremist members of the Muslim faith who follow such tenants; however, the extremists are not the entire religion.

 

[Tabea]

What other religion will not allow a woman to own property? What other religion excises a girl's clitoris? In what other religion are women who have sex outside marriage put to death? You'll say this is here say also.

Female genital cutting was done before the Islam and is not mentioned in the Qur`an.
It seems that Muslim women were allowed to own property a long time before women in the western world.

You seem to confuse cultural practices in very few regions with religious practices of all Muslims. I do not see how the fact that in some regions females are treated horribly by men who happen to be Muslims means that Muslims generally do not love the women in their families. When you look around, you will realize that being Muslim is no prerequisite for treating woman badly. If you knew Muslims, you would know that they are able to love their female relatives just as much as non-Muslims.

 

[Homburg]

What other religion will not allow a woman to own property? What other religion excises a girl's clitoris? In what other religion are women who have sex outside marriage put to death? You'll say this is here say also.

There's a woman what lives across the street from my parents. She's a Muslim, and devout. She owns her own car, owns the house she lives in, her furniture, etc. I would sit down to dinner with her any day of the week, as she is a cultured, intelligent, well-spoken individual that happens to follow the faith of Islam, and I could guarantee that I would have a meal joined with interesting and engaging conversation. It is a shame that your blind hatred of an entire religion and culture prevents you from coming to know such people.

As to your question, There are a number of cultures like this all around the world. There are subcultures here in the USA that won't allow women to own property (see various fringe christian cults). There are numerous cultures that practice genital mutilation (see southern African tribal practices, and, oh yeah, fringe christian cults here in the US), and there are areas that will put a woman to death for having sex outside of marriage (various rural regions in Africa, India, Indonesia, Malaysia, etc, oh, and fringe christian cults).

Just like in the Hillary thread where you were making ignorant comments about Middle Eastern history since the dark ages, you are spouting off uneducated nonsense here. Turn off the computer, turn off Fox News too, then go to the library and check out a real history book not written by the guy that wrote the Turner Diaries.

 

[lilylicious]

. . . In most bondage situations a Master will control his minion with love. If there is no love, he is not a Master he is a BULLY.

I'm sorry but this made me giggle. "control his minion with love" in a BONDAGE situation? The difference between a master and a bully is love?

 

[Caitlynne]

For those of you who have supported the idea of a Dominant denying his/her submissive permission to talk to other men/women, do you not think it shows a lack of trust?

This is a very interesting [and sometimes entertaining] thread. I'd just wanted to add something to give an opinion on this particular question.

I think it can be something that shows a lack of trust. There's no denying that might even be the case in a number of instances. But, not in all.

In my opinion this kind of micromanagement might not have anything to do with trust, but everything to do with power and control. Control is the fetish. It's not about trust, it's about control itself. Controlling when and how a submissive interacts with others might be a form of that control.

By the same token, I can also see how it could be an extension of some insecurity and trust issue, but I think the difference could be determined long before a collar was placed aorund a subs neck.

I just don't see it as an absolute. I don't think that this kind of control is necessarily about a lack of trust and I think it can do a disservice to a Dominant to assume it is a lack of trust. S/He might just want to exert the control over a sub. I mean, you know, just because it pleases him or her to be able to do it and/or see the reaction in a sub. This is a power exchange dynamic after all.

 

[Hisscarlett]

My Master works with a muslim woman, she is definitely not under anyone's thumb. She is in fact one of the freest women I have ever encountered, and due to where my Master works and therefore we live, we are in close contact with all of his co-workers so I know her well.

And my Master's control of me is very much loving.

I am sure that despite the way I read your post, as on forums such as these misunderstanding is very easy due to lack of tone and body language, you are not implying for one moment that my Master is a bully.

I have been the victim of work place bullying and know very well the effects and affects of a bully, and would never dream of accusing anyone of such a thing.

I hope that this thread can continue in a positive and supportive way, helping us all to debate an interesting topic.

 

[Harmony_1985]

This is a very interesting [and sometimes entertaining] thread. I'd just wanted to add something to give an opinion on this particular question.

I think it can be something that shows a lack of trust. There's no denying that might even be the case in a number of instances. But, not in all.

In my opinion this kind of micromanagement might not have anything to do with trust, but everything to do with power and control. Control is the fetish. It's not about trust, it's about control itself. Controlling when and how a submissive interacts with others might be a form of that control.

By the same token, I can also see how it could be an extension of some insecurity and trust issue, but I think the difference could be determined long before a collar was placed aorund a subs neck.

I just don't see it as an absolute. I don't think that this kind of control is necessarily about a lack of trust and I think it can do a disservice to a Dominant to assume it is a lack of trust. S/He might just want to exert the control over a sub. I mean, you know, just because it pleases him or her to be able to do it and/or see the reaction in a sub. This is a power exchange dynamic after all.

Oh definately, but I know despite my will to submit, I'd be asking for a reason as to why I'm not allowed to, because I'd be thinking I'm not trusted, which would hurt.

 

[LadyC]

My Master works with a muslim woman, she is definitely not under anyone's thumb. She is in fact one of the freest women I have ever encountered, and due to where my Master works and therefore we live, we are in close contact with all of his co-workers so I know her well.

And my Master's control of me is very much loving.

I am sure that despite the way I read your post, as on forums such as these misunderstanding is very easy due to lack of tone and body language, you are not implying for one moment that my Master is a bully.

I have been the victim of work place bullying and know very well the effects and affects of a bully, and would never dream of accusing anyone of such a thing.

I hope that this thread can continue in a positive and supportive way, helping us all to debate an interesting topic.

Like most responding to my post, you are writing about muslims who have left their Islamic homelands and no mater how devout life a weatern lifestyle.

 

[Hisscarlett]

Lady C you are correct, she and her family have been in North America for over ten years.

And I thank you for making it clear by not addressing the point I made that you were not saying my Master is/was a bully.

Harmony I can see your point and when I was first given that rule I did ask why and Master, very patiently, took time to explain it to me. I knew then, it was not a trust issue, but instead one of control, submission and respect. I am his slave in a 24/7 TPE so there are times I don't "get" things, and at times he chooses not to explain, but then later the penny drops and I understand and see the wisdom/sense behind his decisions.

 

[LadyC]

Lady C you are correct, she and her family have been in North America for over ten years.

And I thank you for making it clear by not addressing the point I made that you were not saying my Master is/was a bully.

Harmony I can see your point and when I was first given that rule I did ask why and Master, very patiently, took time to explain it to me. I knew then, it was not a trust issue, but instead one of control, submission and respect. I am his slave in a 24/7 TPE so there are times I don't "get" things, and at times he chooses not to explain, but then later the penny drops and I understand and see the wisdom/sense behind his decisions.

In a way, I like Billy-boy to contact other Mistresses and Masters, as well as other minions. In that manner he realizes how good he has it.

 

[CutieMouse]

I have a question to pose to everyone who has given an opinion of this thread.

For those of you who have supported the idea of a Dominant denying his/her submissive permission to talk to other men/women, do you not think it shows a lack of trust?

I [admittedly] have a somewhat jaded view of the whole "permission to talk to other men" thing. One of the reasons I disappeared from Lit for a while was because someone didn't want me talking to other men/dominants. At the same time I pulled back from a couple of very cool platonic relationships with gentlemen IRL (weekly dinner dates to talk current events/history/politics/philosophy/etc).

The argument made was that I didn't have the best judgment re: men, due to inexperience. And the man did have a point - I've never dated much, I was coming off DR-Disaster-Boy, and my "this person is flirting with me/wants X from me" meter is flat out broken.

He was able to make a pretty strong case for himself, and having him around was important enough that I ignored the tail end of his argument, which was "I should be enough for you." I told him it was a bad idea. I told him that deep of a lock-down (especially in a LDR) would not end well... unfortunately he didn't listen. So - moving forward, older and wiser, yadayadayada.

To answer the question, I don't view his behaviour as a lack of trust in me; I view it as a lack of faith in himself.

 

[Zoots_owner]

He was able to make a pretty strong case for himself, and having him around was important enough that I ignored the tail end of his argument, which was "I should be enough for you." I told him it was a bad idea. I told him that deep of a lock-down (especially in a LDR) would not end well... unfortunately he didn't listen. So - moving forward, older and wiser, yadayadayada.

To answer the question, I don't view his behaviour as a lack of trust in me; I view it as a lack of faith in himself.

I think this is an easy trap for guys to fall into, even when their motives are relatively unselfish. I'm reluctant to feed stereotypes, but a fair number of my gender don't feel much need for socializing, or get their quota while at work. Projecting our own asocial tendencies onto others is perfectly natural, but also a bad idea. Just another argument in favor of communication. Orders have prices, and PYLs should know what those prices are going to be before they issue them.

 

[myinnerslut]

Moslem women are not loved by their masters (husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, any fucking son of Allah in the world ) but are merely an extension of those masters. .

Like most responding to my post, you are writing about muslims who have left their Islamic homelands and no mater how devout life a weatern lifestyle.

so were you. "any fucking son of Allah in the world" doesnt scream specific to "islamic homelands" to me

 

[Netzach]

RE: Islam - qo watch Persepolis and get a clue.

RE: the thread -
I think any Dominant can argue that his girl has to stand on her head every day if he wants, or boy or you get the gist. If I tell H I don't want you shaking hands with people with blue eyes, so be it.

Of course, the fact that that's ungainly and stupid and detrimental to normal interaction across the world of work enters my mind, so I can't imagine keeping these little exercises going indefinitely. YMMV. The relationship's strength will determine just how silly the prohibitions can and can't be. A lot of Dominants over-reach with no CLUE as to ROI.

 

[Netzach]

I [admittedly] have a somewhat jaded view of the whole "permission to talk to other men" thing. One of the reasons I disappeared from Lit for a while was because someone didn't want me talking to other men/dominants. At the same time I pulled back from a couple of very cool platonic relationships with gentlemen IRL (weekly dinner dates to talk current events/history/politics/philosophy/etc).

The argument made was that I didn't have the best judgment re: men, due to inexperience. And the man did have a point - I've never dated much, I was coming off DR-Disaster-Boy, and my "this person is flirting with me/wants X from me" meter is flat out broken.

He was able to make a pretty strong case for himself, and having him around was important enough that I ignored the tail end of his argument, which was "I should be enough for you." I told him it was a bad idea. I told him that deep of a lock-down (especially in a LDR) would not end well... unfortunately he didn't listen. So - moving forward, older and wiser, yadayadayada.

To answer the question, I don't view his behaviour as a lack of trust in me; I view it as a lack of faith in himself.

See, I'd be so much more comfortable with "because I'm in charge and I say so" as an answer to the whys of this question than anything that smacks of an ambiguity between "I think it's good for you, because of where you're at" and "I know I like it because it's to my advantage." I do so much better with "because I said so and that's the parameter of the relationship, yes?" Yes. Or no, no it's not, in which case it's not the bottom who hasn't done adequate groundwork.

 

[EmpressFi]

Moslem women are not loved by their masters (husbands, fathers, brothers, sons, any fucking son of Allah in the world) but are merely an extension of those masters. In most bondage situations a Master will control his minion with love. If there is no love, he is not a Master he is a BULLY.

who are YOU to say if someone loves someone or not?

It's generalizations like that that contribute to the consistent bigotry against Muslims in the world. Educate yourself before you speak.