Batman4ever71
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Awwww shucks E.....twerent nothin'. Just trying to help. 
X 12 to you dear lady 
Batman
X 12 to you dear lady Batman
Asking him out ... finally (long, detailed); input appreicated
- Thread starter eudaemonia
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eudaemonia
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Cathleen said:I've only used the dancing nana twice during my tenure at Lit. but.....
Tomorrow is Coffee Day!!!
::grinning from ear to ear::
Strangely, I'm looking forward to it now. Weird ...
Cathleen
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Strangely? I'd be jumping off the wall! It will be great, I'm sure.eudaemonia said:
A friend of mine coined a phrase 'The Beauty of Coffee'. It makes those first meetings of another easier and less stressful. So much can grow if the beans are right.
midwestyankee
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I am a firm believer in meeting over coffee. And I can imagine that it works even better when you already know what the other person looks like.Cathleen said:Strangely? I'd be jumping off the wall! It will be great, I'm sure.
A friend of mine coined a phrase 'The Beauty of Coffee'. It makes those first meetings of another easier and less stressful. So much can grow if the beans are right.
Have a great time, eudaemonia.
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Batman4ever71
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"COFFEE"
One thing that had slipped my mind until now is the comedian Eddie Izzard. Eddie has a routine about people meeting for coffee. If you'd like to have a look, the DVD is entitled "Eddie Izzard ~ Dressed to Kill".
I think you can summize what Eddie is talking about, but he is such a funny guy. I think you'd love his intelligent and insightful act E.
Let us know what happens. I'm rooting for you.
Batman
One thing that had slipped my mind until now is the comedian Eddie Izzard. Eddie has a routine about people meeting for coffee. If you'd like to have a look, the DVD is entitled "Eddie Izzard ~ Dressed to Kill".
I think you can summize what Eddie is talking about, but he is such a funny guy. I think you'd love his intelligent and insightful act E.
Let us know what happens. I'm rooting for you.
Batman
satchel6978
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good luck tomorrow, e!! i await the story of what will be a successful day for you.
SweetErika
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I'm a little late (or early, for that matter 
), but I hope you have a wonderful time and knock his dreamy socks off! I'm thinking positive for you, and will eagerly await the full report!
), but I hope you have a wonderful time and knock his dreamy socks off! I'm thinking positive for you, and will eagerly await the full report!
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eudaemonia
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Things started out great, even better than I expected. All weekend I was wondering whether he'd cancel at the last minute or maybe not show up to office hours on time. But he was right there at 11:30 when I came by. I greeted him, a little devilishly, "Trick or treat?" and gave him some candy. He said he had a big treat for me. ::stomach lurch:: It was about my paper and that I had made a very excellent point about the elephant everyone's trying to ignore.
He had much praise about about the paper, said that it was good, clear and well-written and that I should expand on it. He said went off on that while we walked.
It was raining pretty hard and I forgot to bring my umbrella. In fact, I got poked in the head by his and then he offered to share it. He switched it to his left hand and we were soon walking elbow to elbow. It's always been easy to walk close to him. I've never once felt like I wanted to shy away whenever he's accidently brushed my hand or shoulder.
I nudged him a bit towards Charbux and said, "my treat." Then I said, "Actually, it should be your treat, I won a bet with you. Do you remember?" He did. HE said, "Okay, I'll buy." (One day a couple of years ago he made a bet in class that if any of us could find the word 'war' in the Charter to the U.N. that he'd give us $5. I found one reference and e-mailed him a few days later about it. I guess he never did forget about it.
He kept talking about the thesis of my paper and how I could make it better, about the journal he was editing and about how careful I should be in grad school about talking about my ideas. Then we talked about some of the office politics and I confided in him about some things another professor said to me that have been making me uncomfortable for a long time. I touched him on the hand, called him by his first name and revealed some of what was eating at me because it concerned him.
The whole time I was preparing for what I was going to say to him in just a few minutes time. I honestly cannot remember what we were talking about just before he said it: " ... my fiancee ..." I felt my face go a little flush, but I kept a straight face as if I hadn't missed a beat in what he was saying.
As we walked backed towards campus, again under the umbrella, I realized that this was probably the last time I'd ever be that near with him and I MADE myself get a grip. I thanked him for the coffee, and said, "So you're engaged? I hope it works out for you better than mine did." He said, "Yes, June. It'll work out perfectly."
Frankly, the signs were there. A few weeks ago when we were talking about being in Belgrade next summer he said, with somewhat emphasis, he'd be there for a wedding. I hoped that that didn't mean him, but obviously that's exactly what he was referring to. It also explains some other things that I had already thought might be connected but didn't have any way of confirming.
It was probably a good thing that I had to go right to class after our coffee. Naturally, I was paying very little attention and have all kinds of thoughts about today. "It's so unfair!" being the primary one. But it did give me some time to settle down a bit before going to work.
I realized that, just as I posted in another thread here, nothing about me has changed. I'm just sad, disappointed and, well ... very sad. It'll pass in time, and for once I'll give it time instead trying furiously to squelch it. I've been attracted to him for a very long time. It also took a long time to rev up my nerve to ask him out, and I think it's only natural that it'll take some time to learn to not think about him.
Thanks all of you for hanging in there with me. How I was hoping come back here and report some happy news. But still know that it's meant a lot to me to share all of this and get some great insight and encouragement.
Yours in eudaemonism ...
He had much praise about about the paper, said that it was good, clear and well-written and that I should expand on it. He said went off on that while we walked.
It was raining pretty hard and I forgot to bring my umbrella. In fact, I got poked in the head by his and then he offered to share it. He switched it to his left hand and we were soon walking elbow to elbow. It's always been easy to walk close to him. I've never once felt like I wanted to shy away whenever he's accidently brushed my hand or shoulder.
I nudged him a bit towards Charbux and said, "my treat." Then I said, "Actually, it should be your treat, I won a bet with you. Do you remember?" He did. HE said, "Okay, I'll buy." (One day a couple of years ago he made a bet in class that if any of us could find the word 'war' in the Charter to the U.N. that he'd give us $5. I found one reference and e-mailed him a few days later about it. I guess he never did forget about it.
He kept talking about the thesis of my paper and how I could make it better, about the journal he was editing and about how careful I should be in grad school about talking about my ideas. Then we talked about some of the office politics and I confided in him about some things another professor said to me that have been making me uncomfortable for a long time. I touched him on the hand, called him by his first name and revealed some of what was eating at me because it concerned him.
The whole time I was preparing for what I was going to say to him in just a few minutes time. I honestly cannot remember what we were talking about just before he said it: " ... my fiancee ..." I felt my face go a little flush, but I kept a straight face as if I hadn't missed a beat in what he was saying.
As we walked backed towards campus, again under the umbrella, I realized that this was probably the last time I'd ever be that near with him and I MADE myself get a grip. I thanked him for the coffee, and said, "So you're engaged? I hope it works out for you better than mine did." He said, "Yes, June. It'll work out perfectly."
Frankly, the signs were there. A few weeks ago when we were talking about being in Belgrade next summer he said, with somewhat emphasis, he'd be there for a wedding. I hoped that that didn't mean him, but obviously that's exactly what he was referring to. It also explains some other things that I had already thought might be connected but didn't have any way of confirming.
It was probably a good thing that I had to go right to class after our coffee. Naturally, I was paying very little attention and have all kinds of thoughts about today. "It's so unfair!" being the primary one. But it did give me some time to settle down a bit before going to work.
I realized that, just as I posted in another thread here, nothing about me has changed. I'm just sad, disappointed and, well ... very sad. It'll pass in time, and for once I'll give it time instead trying furiously to squelch it. I've been attracted to him for a very long time. It also took a long time to rev up my nerve to ask him out, and I think it's only natural that it'll take some time to learn to not think about him.
Thanks all of you for hanging in there with me. How I was hoping come back here and report some happy news. But still know that it's meant a lot to me to share all of this and get some great insight and encouragement.
Yours in eudaemonism ...
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sassy_girl1963
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Oh sweetie - I too feel bad and sad for you - I know the kind of feelings you are going though....and yes I do believe it is ok to let them be and to feel them.
But I do have to disagree with you on one point - where you said nothing about me has changed. I do believe you are making changes and coming to know what you want, what kind of man you desire and knowing that yes you do have the courage to go and seek that man.
But I do have to disagree with you on one point - where you said nothing about me has changed. I do believe you are making changes and coming to know what you want, what kind of man you desire and knowing that yes you do have the courage to go and seek that man.
eudaemonia said:Thanks all of you for hanging in there with me. How I was hoping come back here and report some happy news. But still know that it's meant a lot to me to share all of this and get some great insight and encouragement.
Yours in eudaemonism ...
E, I don't even know you but I'd hug you if I could and say "I'm sorry." I hope things work out for you. At least you know you have friends here who will certainly listen when the times comes that you need it.
covariant
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I'm a latecomer to this thread, but I feel really bad for you eudaemonia. Please know that these things happen to us all. Making the effort was the important thing, you had no control over the outcome.
Try to be really nice to yourself over the next few days.
Try to be really nice to yourself over the next few days.
eudaemonia, you have a nice thread here. sorry it did not work out. everything sounded so hopeful and then the fiance part. shocking and sad. Its quite a let down to have things build up and see possibilities of good things that might be and then there is that moment when you realize it was just a dream. at least you know now though and can move on.
did you ask if he had a brother?
Hanon
and Karen watch out with those things!
did you ask if he had a brother?Hanon
and Karen watch out with those things!
M-Y-Erotica
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I thought and thought about the right thing to say, but I don't have it. There is nothing in my little brain that would truly help at such a time. All we can do is remind you, as others have already, that our thoughts are with you and wish you the best things in the world, as we are all convinced you deserve them.
Cathleen
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E. I'm sorry for your sadness. I think sassy girl made an excellent point, E., you have changed in a wonderful way. You allowed your heart to open to the power of love. Now the difficult thing will be to keep your heart open. Feel the sadness - it means you've been present in your life, it's sort of like a badge for having the strength to act upon your feelings.
SweetErika
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Oh no!!!
That fiancee's got nothing on you, dear lady!
I know you're sad, but reading the account, I got such a sense of confidence, pride, and grace...it sounds like you handled everything just beautifully. The difference between your previous posts and this one isn't the result, it's that you've come into your own in figuring things out, summoning the courage to do something important, and taking action. I hope through the healing process, that's what really shines through, E. You have every reason to congratulate and be so proud of yourself.
That fiancee's got nothing on you, dear lady!I know you're sad, but reading the account, I got such a sense of confidence, pride, and grace...it sounds like you handled everything just beautifully. The difference between your previous posts and this one isn't the result, it's that you've come into your own in figuring things out, summoning the courage to do something important, and taking action. I hope through the healing process, that's what really shines through, E. You have every reason to congratulate and be so proud of yourself.
eudaemonia
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Cathleen said:
I think sassy girl made an excellent point, E., you have changed in a wonderful way. You allowed your heart to open to the power of love. Now the difficult thing will be to keep your heart open. Feel the sadness - it means you've been present in your life, it's sort of like a badge for having the strength to act upon your feelings.
You're right, Cate, -- as is sassy -- about changing enough to let my heart be open for once. The trick now seems to be keeping it open while I'm still smarting over this latest development.
Why does it sting so much?
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Batman4ever71
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E,
My heart truly goes out to you
I know that your smarting over this and will for a while, but as so many others have stated, at least you now know that you DO possess the courage to ask someone else out when the time arises. I've followed this thread pretty much since it's inception and I've watched you go from a "giddy schoolgirl" to a brave and courageous woman. Not so much in years, but in your attitude towards the whole situation. Yes. Things didn't go your way this time, but the man of your dreams is out there and true love exists. You just have to believe that faiiry tales do indeed come true.
You are an intelligent, witty and funny woman. Any man would be lucky to have you at his side. I truly and sincerely wish you all the best that life has to offer and I do believe that you will get all that you deserve. Persevere my dear Lady!!!
Sincerely,
Batman
My heart truly goes out to you
I know that your smarting over this and will for a while, but as so many others have stated, at least you now know that you DO possess the courage to ask someone else out when the time arises. I've followed this thread pretty much since it's inception and I've watched you go from a "giddy schoolgirl" to a brave and courageous woman. Not so much in years, but in your attitude towards the whole situation. Yes. Things didn't go your way this time, but the man of your dreams is out there and true love exists. You just have to believe that faiiry tales do indeed come true.
You are an intelligent, witty and funny woman. Any man would be lucky to have you at his side. I truly and sincerely wish you all the best that life has to offer and I do believe that you will get all that you deserve. Persevere my dear Lady!!!
Sincerely,
Batman
midwestyankee
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E, you showed some wonderful courage in this adventure and I'm sure that it will help you open your heart again.
So...in the immortal words of Lord Priap of Punstershire, "If at first you don't fricassee, fry, fry a hen."
So...in the immortal words of Lord Priap of Punstershire, "If at first you don't fricassee, fry, fry a hen."
satchel6978
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e-
this is one of those "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" times. while, yes, it does hurt like hell right now, you are going to be better prepared for the next time. i am sorry that you had to have the bad news, but you have shown throught everything written in this thread that you are more than strong enough to wither the storm.
this is one of those "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" times. while, yes, it does hurt like hell right now, you are going to be better prepared for the next time. i am sorry that you had to have the bad news, but you have shown throught everything written in this thread that you are more than strong enough to wither the storm.
