Asphyxia: Absolute Control

[shy slave]

Andante and I have talked about this thread.

I should make it clearer that what he did was breath control, not strangulation or extreme tightening.
Ok, it may be semantics but it appears that some people may have thought he had me around the throat similiar to how Homer chastises Bart.

Its difficult to express the level at which he held me, but I will assert I felt safe and i was safe.

Of course it was a risk, but so are many things in life

 

[Pure]

Hi Furry,

Hmm, are we saying that breath play done by a female to a male isn't just as potentially dangerous as the other way around?

Yes, leaving out the word 'potentially', that is what I'm saying. Netzach will answer in her own way. Obviously, though, in some scenarios, the dangers might be more nearly equal, if you hypothesize that the man is utterly helpless, bound hand and foot and chained to a pole. Even there, I say 'less' (danger) for the man, statistically, since women are less often killers or bringers about of death of other adults through recklessness (my impression).

 

[shy slave]

Hmm, are we saying that breath play done by a female to a male isn't just as potentially dangerous as the other way around?

Yes, leaving out the word 'potentially', that is what I'm saying. Netzach will answer in her own way. Obviously, though, in some scenarios, the dangers might be more nearly equal, if you hypothesize that the man is utterly helpless, bound hand and foot and chained to a pole. Even there, I say 'less' (danger) for the man, statistically, since women are less often killers or bringers about of death of other adults through recklessness (my impression).

Oh Pure
That just does not add up.

If he is tied, excited and has raised blood pressure then the chances of accidental death from asphyxia are increased.

If you look at the articles catalina posted accidental death is just that. An accident. Recklessness is not the issue,
Unknown medical probblems have a nasty way of showing up at awkward moments.

Gender is not the issue.

The activity and whether you trust another person, male or female, to do this or any activity is the issue.

 

[Netzach]

Hmm, are we saying that breath play done by a female to a male isn't just as potentially dangerous as the other way around?

It's all dangerous in my book. That is why I said in my first post that I've never done it. I also said I believe that it would be possible with the right person at the right time. (Having the stars align like that, is not likely.)

Yes, in theory, safety protocols should always be in place both by individuals and by the venue but the reality is that just like telling kids to "just say no" or "always use a condom," people do dangerous stuff in life. I'm not advocating it, I'm just admitting I've been there as I suspect most of us have. *shrugs*

Fury

It's this kind of thinking that has led some lesbians I know to get in some VERY bad and abusive situations - the assumption that women will not be dangerous.

Bottom line is this: the danger in a situation where the bottom can physically overpower the top is minimized until the bottom is made helpless. A devious and hell bent enough bad person will see that happens.

After the bottom in this situation is immobilized it doesn't matter. It might as well be that the top is physically able to overpower the bottom at that point.

So one will want to be selective and careful about getting into that situation.
Yes, life is full of risks. People with bad intentions will take the time to win your confidence at times. The guy you get into that elevator with might knife you in it. Those towers might go up.

Taking time and thinking about getting into a situation of helplessness is going to minimize the likelihood of certain kinds of harm. That's all. It's not going to eliminate it. But it will keep you out of certain zones you don't want to be in. I've been told I'm neurotic because I don't want to fly. However it does make it incontrovertibly, completely IMPOSSIBLE for me to die in a plane falling to the earth. It's all risk analysis in the end, baby.

Substitute "clueless and enthusiastic" for bad and abusive and with breath play you can still wind up very dead very fast.

And shy is quite right, though the cardio issues in women have been drasticly underplayed in the medical establishment, men are more likely to have cardio problems.

 

[FurryFury]

I saw a newspaper article about the rising levels of school violence by females now. One principal was quoted as saying she'd rather break up a fight between two males than two females any day because they are so much more vicious.

*shakes head and sounds old lady-ish*

"Now in my day we were perfect ladies, I don't know what to think!"

Fury

 

[MsVenusDivine]

"asphyxia" Excitement from the top!

Hi Bettiboop,

This is definately dangerous play but that it why it is so exciting for me! I recieve no greater high from any other kinky activity than controlling that oh so prescious gift of breath as I hold a subs life in my very hands.

It is great that you have found someone that you trust enough to engage in this with. I am assuming that you are aware of the risks and long term affects of this type of play but if not there are a couple of links below on the subject.

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/breath-play.htm
http://www.mybdsm.com/pages/breathplay/enter.html

 

[bettiboop]

Sorry I've been out of the loop

Have missed a few days but have really enjoyed reading everyone's posts. Hello MsVenusDivine and thanks for your links, they were informative. The Dominants who post here seem to be a well informed and conscientious lot, I've been really impressed

 

[Swxytgrlly]

This is something I have only recently begun to fantasize about. Though, it is also something that may forever remain in fantasy. Since I was 4 years old I have had a phobia of having things close around my neck. I get panic attacks if I zip my coat up too high, wear a scarf, or necklace that's too tight. I've done little things throughout my life to try to get over it. But nothing has ever worked. I can't even wear the shoulder strap part of a seatbelt without holding it away from me. I wanted to try a collar once and my husband obliged, but I couldn't stand it more than a few seconds. The fantasy has become rather strong, and I become extremely aroused thinking about it, but I just don't think I will ever be able to get over my fear enough to be okay with it really happenning.

 

[bettiboop]

Since I was 4 years old I have had a phobia of having things close around my neck. I get panic attacks if I zip my coat up too high, wear a scarf, or necklace that's too tight.

Hi Swxytgrlly I can confess to a ridiculous phobia, balloons, so you're not alone at all

People have mentioned covering a person's mouth and nose as this is considered 'safer' than pressing on the neck or throat where injury or accident is much more serious. I don't know if that would appeal to you or whether your recent thoughts on asphyxia stem from the phobia? There are some really good links in this thread that look at the safety aspects if you're considering breath-play.

 

[emzthebitch]

i dont mind asphyxia as long as its not for too long...i think my body just gets really nervous if its for too long.

Does being choked by a cock count? cos technically you cant breathe then...if so i quite like that.

 

[Swxytgrlly]

Hi Swxytgrlly I can confess to a ridiculous phobia, balloons, so you're not alone at all

People have mentioned covering a person's mouth and nose as this is considered 'safer' than pressing on the neck or throat where injury or accident is much more serious. I don't know if that would appeal to you or whether your recent thoughts on asphyxia stem from the phobia? There are some really good links in this thread that look at the safety aspects if you're considering breath-play.

I have briefly looked through the thread, reading many of the posts, but not all. I will go back and check out some of the links. I also think I would like to try him just covering my mouth and nose, but there is still something about the choking aspect that turns me on. I never thought of it like this, but I supose you could be right about it stemming from my phobia. I am so willing to turn over control of nearly everything else, except for this, and being able to do that I am sure has a part in all of this. Thank you for your thoughts!

 

[riverofshudder]

In our negotiations and discussions that lead up to my current sub and I's contract I identified breath control as a large issue for her, it's something she is fearful of but desires greatly. I've made a point to work various breath control (or mental aspects of it) into each scene we have shared. Starting with something as simple (and more mental) as rope wrapped around her neck in various degrees of tightness to a chest rope which did restrict her breathing (ability to feel like she got a full breath with added up in her head)...to more recently my hand clasped around her throat during sex and most recently her panties stuffed in her mouth which was then taped shut with electrical tape, while that was done he nose was pinched shut for short periods while she was being forced to orgasm. That was a huge trust building moment for us. In the scene debrief she told me that that moment was the first time she completely let go of all control (with anyone) and specifically with me trusted me with her life. Since then our play has gotten more intense and darker and we are exploring areas that require alot of trust between a D & s...

 

[bettiboop]

Feel the fear... and do it anyway?

I never thought of it like this, but I supose you could be right about it stemming from my phobia. I am so willing to turn over control of nearly everything else, except for this, and being able to do that I am sure has a part in all of this. Thank you for your thoughts!

With me at least, there's a definite connection. I have had a phobia about balloons since childhood when I got shut inside a room full of them at a party and couldn't get out! I also hate the idea of wearing rubber or latex, I can't even touch it in a shop, and I know that stems from the balloon thing

I have had fantisies about wearing rubber and they do turn me on. I get turned on by the fear, the way my skin crawls at the very thought. Before I got into any form of BDSM play I was turned on by the fear; fear of the unknown, of relinquishing control, of things going too far etc. I have also learned to deeply enjoy things that I once thought of as extremely distasteful, like tasting my juices on a man's fingers or having my damp pants shoved into my mouth. My fear of these things was over-ridden by my desire to please and my fear of displeasing and invoking punishment. It's in the nature of me as a submissive to get off on certain types of fear and anticipation so I can see why all these thought processes parallel in my head.

Um.. did that make any sense?

 

[MechaBlade]

Hate to plug my own work and leave, but:

Breathe

 

[Sweetness_15]

I've never had hands around my throat as part of play, but have done other things along the same vein. Some of the best sex I've had was when I was getting close he placed his hand over my nose and mouth. Sometimes he would also kiss me just before and keep my breath in, or suck it out before letting me cum. I really want to find someone who will do that to me again.

 

[DVS]

I saw a newspaper article about the rising levels of school violence by females now. One principal was quoted as saying she'd rather break up a fight between two males than two females any day because they are so much more vicious.

*shakes head and sounds old lady-ish*

"Now in my day we were perfect ladies, I don't know what to think!"

Fury

Well, if you ask me, nothing solves violent tendencies in a female (girl or woman) like a good old fashioned bare ass OTK spanking. Any school girls caught fighting should be taken to a private room where there is only one chair...a sturdy one, with no arms.

Each girl is forced to strip naked (if they refuse, it is accomplished for them) and taken across a designated punisher's lap. If they are still refusing, handcuffs or even shackles would be available.to "persuade" them into position. They would then receive a vigorous spanking that they feel it for several days.

Humilaition is key in such situations. Being forced to strip naked is seen by the girl as overkill. Then, being forced to get over someone's knee is also humiliating. The ones who fight it get even more humiliation thrust upon them when they have their hands cuffed behind their back and are then put over their punisher's lap. From that point on, any struggling is futile, at best.

The resulting spanking is harsh enough that they will remember it every time they sit down (or try to sit down) for several days. Every class member will see this struggle, and some will even make fun. But all of them will themselves be intimidated against starting up a fight of their own.

OK, this is only my fantasy. But, I doubt I'm alone in it's result.

I really should have been born sooner and become a principal for a girl's school. I doubt there would have been much need for chairs in my classrooms.

HIJACK DISCLAIMER:
Sorry, this has nothing to do with breath control....just female control.

 

[FurryFury]

Well, if you ask me, nothing solves violent tendencies in a female (girl or woman) like a good old fashioned bare ass OTK spanking. Any school girls caught fighting should be taken to a private room where there is only one chair...a sturdy one, with no arms.

Each girl is forced to strip naked (if they refuse, it is accomplished for them) and taken across a designated punisher's lap. If they are still refusing, handcuffs or even shackles would be available.to "persuade" them into position. They would then receive a vigorous spanking that they feel it for several days.

Humilaition is key in such situations. Being forced to strip naked is seen by the girl as overkill. Then, being forced to get over someone's knee is also humiliating. The ones who fight it get even more humiliation thrust upon them when they have their hands cuffed behind their back and are then put over their punisher's lap. From that point on, any struggling is futile, at best.

The resulting spanking is harsh enough that they will remember it every time they sit down (or try to sit down) for several days. Every class member will see this struggle, and some will even make fun. But all of them will themselves be intimidated against starting up a fight of their own.

OK, this is only my fantasy. But, I doubt I'm alone in it's result.

I really should have been born sooner and become a principal for a girl's school. I doubt there would have been much need for chairs in my classrooms.

HIJACK DISCLAIMER:
Sorry, this has nothing to do with breath control....just female control.

I'm all about those spankings but not in public!!!

Fury

 

[DVS]

I'm all about those spankings but not in public!!!

Fury

Well, I did say they would be taken to a private room. just where is that DIRTY mind of yours going, any way?

 

[graceanne]

Well, I did say they would be taken to a private room. just where is that DIRTY mind of yours going, any way?

You never know with Fury. She's so pervy.

 

[MechaBlade]

Well, if you ask me, nothing solves violent tendencies in a female (girl or woman) like a good old fashioned bare ass OTK spanking. Any school girls caught fighting should be taken to a private room where there is only one chair...a sturdy one, with no arms.

Each girl is forced to strip naked (if they refuse, it is accomplished for them) and taken across a designated punisher's lap. If they are still refusing, handcuffs or even shackles would be available.to "persuade" them into position. They would then receive a vigorous spanking that they feel it for several days.

Humilaition is key in such situations. Being forced to strip naked is seen by the girl as overkill. Then, being forced to get over someone's knee is also humiliating. The ones who fight it get even more humiliation thrust upon them when they have their hands cuffed behind their back and are then put over their punisher's lap. From that point on, any struggling is futile, at best.

The resulting spanking is harsh enough that they will remember it every time they sit down (or try to sit down) for several days. Every class member will see this struggle, and some will even make fun. But all of them will themselves be intimidated against starting up a fight of their own.

OK, this is only my fantasy. But, I doubt I'm alone in it's result.

I really should have been born sooner and become a principal for a girl's school. I doubt there would have been much need for chairs in my classrooms.

HIJACK DISCLAIMER:
Sorry, this has nothing to do with breath control....just female control.

You and me were born in the wrong era.

I'd do the spankings in front of the class to humiliate them properly.

 

[jadefirefly]

Well, if you ask me, nothing solves violent tendencies in a female (girl or woman) like a good old fashioned bare ass OTK spanking. Any school girls caught fighting should be taken to a private room where there is only one chair...a sturdy one, with no arms.

Each girl is forced to strip naked (if they refuse, it is accomplished for them) and taken across a designated punisher's lap. If they are still refusing, handcuffs or even shackles would be available.to "persuade" them into position. They would then receive a vigorous spanking that they feel it for several days.

Humilaition is key in such situations. Being forced to strip naked is seen by the girl as overkill. Then, being forced to get over someone's knee is also humiliating. The ones who fight it get even more humiliation thrust upon them when they have their hands cuffed behind their back and are then put over their punisher's lap. From that point on, any struggling is futile, at best.

The resulting spanking is harsh enough that they will remember it every time they sit down (or try to sit down) for several days. Every class member will see this struggle, and some will even make fun. But all of them will themselves be intimidated against starting up a fight of their own.

OK, this is only my fantasy. But, I doubt I'm alone in it's result.

I really should have been born sooner and become a principal for a girl's school. I doubt there would have been much need for chairs in my classrooms.

HIJACK DISCLAIMER:
Sorry, this has nothing to do with breath control....just female control.

You and me were born in the wrong era.

I'd do the spankings in front of the class to humiliate them properly.

You know, given the mood I have been in lately and the fact that I'm grumpy as all hell, I would have expected myself to read through this and go "...... meh."

I mean, even -I- expected that.

But -damn-. Today that's not sounding all that much like punishment.

 

[FurryFury]

Well, I did say they would be taken to a private room. just where is that DIRTY mind of yours going, any way?

My dirty mind takes me just about everywhere darlin!

However check the rosy highlight below from your post.

Fury

Well, if you ask me, nothing solves violent tendencies in a female (girl or woman) like a good old fashioned bare ass OTK spanking. Any school girls caught fighting should be taken to a private room where there is only one chair...a sturdy one, with no arms.

Each girl is forced to strip naked (if they refuse, it is accomplished for them) and taken across a designated punisher's lap. If they are still refusing, handcuffs or even shackles would be available.to "persuade" them into position. They would then receive a vigorous spanking that they feel it for several days.

Humilaition is key in such situations. Being forced to strip naked is seen by the girl as overkill. Then, being forced to get over someone's knee is also humiliating. The ones who fight it get even more humiliation thrust upon them when they have their hands cuffed behind their back and are then put over their punisher's lap. From that point on, any struggling is futile, at best.

The resulting spanking is harsh enough that they will remember it every time they sit down (or try to sit down) for several days. Every class member will see this struggle, and some will even make fun. But all of them will themselves be intimidated against starting up a fight of their own.

OK, this is only my fantasy. But, I doubt I'm alone in it's result.

I really should have been born sooner and become a principal for a girl's school. I doubt there would have been much need for chairs in my classrooms.

HIJACK DISCLAIMER:
Sorry, this has nothing to do with breath control....just female control.

See why I'm thinking the rest of the girls are watching???

Fury

You never know with Fury. She's so pervy.

*looks shocked at such a statement*

*reassures self that she is a sweet lil good girl over and over and over . . .*

Fury

 

[NemoAlia]

Last night was my first experience with having saran wrap held over my mouth and nose. It was extremely intense. I can hold my breath as long as any non-smoking 26-year-old, but with the Saran wrap on my face, I could feel myself starting to panic after 10 seconds or so. Less, maybe -- time kinda stands still.

We had been doing some pain stuff, so this was a change in the direction of the scene. Sometimes change heightens my experience of a particular technique. But I think that even all by itself, the Saran wrap thing was incredibly wonderful. My hands were tied to the bed, so I was totally dependent on E for, well, my life. We hadn't been having sex (in the traditional sense) in the earlier parts of the scene, but the breath play drove us to the edge where we needed that physical release. I came with the plastic over my face, my eyes locked with his, half-terrified but consciously trusting him. And he came shortly after.

 

[NemoAlia]

So, of course, while I was out shopping today, I purchased some plastic wrap of my very own!

Be prepared.

 

[Pure]

N, and didn't you say you were getting over all the things that weren't good for you?