ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[Loverskitten]

During the weekend, both my Literotica and Fetlife inboxes are hammered by messages from Asshats. Where do the asshats hide during the business week?

High school

 

[Ahlam]

High school

Oh yes, of course! It all makes sense now.

 

[BiBunny]

High school

*Snort*

I love you.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Cumference]

I get one or two a week mistaking me for female. ....... and some I play with until they finish stroking their little pee-pee's before I finish the convo with a "wow that was great, I'm so glad I am bi!"
......

That is wonderfully evil!

 

[Aurantica]

That is wonderfully evil!

Hey, some guys might like that. This is Lit and you never know.

 

[Ahlam]

anger management?

I receive angry reactions like this one sometimes. It's astounding. No wonder I have a yes problem! Some people flip out when you say no. I think it is scary.
The following exchange occurred on Fetlife:

Asshat: I wanna be play partnerz.

Me: No, thank you.

Asshat: Dont play hard 2 get. When can i see u.

Me: I'm not interested.

Asshat: What a 2 faced fuckin bitch. Think yer 2 fuckin good for me? Im suprized any one touches you wit a 10 foot pole except out of bein desperate. FUCKIN COWARD

Me: You're absolutely correct. I am a leper and I am deathly afraid of people who have ten-foot poles. Anyway, please do go learn some better manners and get bent.

Asshat: fuckin nasty whore.

 

[emma_the_librarian]

I get the young ones from time to time. Some lay it on thick (appreciation for older women, blah, blah) when really they just want someone remotely resembling a woman to say dirty words to them so they can jerk. I tell them this in my reply, though once in a while I write: pussy, cock, tits, ass, fuck, now go away.

 

[Loverskitten]

I receive angry reactions like this one sometimes. It's astounding. No wonder I have a yes problem! Some people flip out when you say no. I think it is scary.
The following exchange occurred on Fetlife:

Asshat: I wanna be play partnerz.

Me: No, thank you.

Asshat: Dont play hard 2 get. When can i see u.

Me: I'm not interested.

Asshat: What a 2 faced fuckin bitch. Think yer 2 fuckin good for me? Im suprized any one touches you wit a 10 foot pole except out of bein desperate. FUCKIN COWARD

Me: You're absolutely correct. I am a leper and I am deathly afraid of people who have ten-foot poles. Anyway, please do go learn some better manners and get bent.

Asshat: fuckin nasty whore.

Some of my brain cells died reading that guy's messages.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I receive angry reactions like this one sometimes. It's astounding. No wonder I have a yes problem! Some people flip out when you say no. I think it is scary.
The following exchange occurred on Fetlife:

Asshat: I wanna be play partnerz.

Me: No, thank you.

Asshat: Dont play hard 2 get. When can i see u.

Me: I'm not interested.

Asshat: What a 2 faced fuckin bitch. Think yer 2 fuckin good for me? Im suprized any one touches you wit a 10 foot pole except out of bein desperate. FUCKIN COWARD

Me: You're absolutely correct. I am a leper and I am deathly afraid of people who have ten-foot poles. Anyway, please do go learn some better manners and get bent.

Asshat: fuckin nasty whore.

Well, as for the yes problem: imagine how much more of that conversation "style" you would have had to endure if you had said yes to him!

 

[Ahlam]

Well, as for the yes problem: imagine how much more of that conversation "style" you would have had to endure if you had said yes to him!

Ha! Something tells me that he would not have understood me if I had said "yes" to him. I'd have to say "yez." Never!!

I think I may get around my yes problem with crazy disclaimers that go somewhat like this:

Agh!! Please don't yell at me!! But, no.

 

[satindesire]

http://dearcoquette.com/post/3435070818/on-fucking-right-back

How To Get Revenge on a Troll, the classy bitch's method.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Stella_Omega]

Mistress(NameRedacted)
written about 1 hour ago:
Hello,

How are you?

I require the long-term service of a sub with computer programming skills. While this is my primary need, it is not an exclusive requirement. I just wanted to be up front, that's all.

Do you have any programming skills? If so, I'd like to chat more



StellaOmega
written 28 minutes ago:

Hi there!
I'm not much of a programmer, to my dismay-- and I'm not a sub.

But thanks for asking!

Mistress(NameRedacted)
written 19 minutes ago:

no problem.

Thanks for the honesty lol!

StellaOmega
written less than a minute ago:

yes, I appreciated yours. It saved me so much time LOL!

 

[Primalex]

I require the long-term service of a sub with computer programming skills. While this is my primary need, it is not an exclusive requirement. I just wanted to be up front, that's all.

Do you have any programming skills? If so, I'd like to chat more

Funny, this "asshat" pm would have totally worked for me. I would have been way too curious why she needs someone with programming skills to out me as Dom.

 

[drinkz]

.....

 

[Vixandra]

Today's winner-

I'm Curious.....

I like erotic women who enjoy sharing their thoughts about being attracted and seduced ..... and the fact that those women deserve having all their needs and fantasies satisfied...

No woman can escape her sexual appetites and fantasies... don't you think?

nor can any man... do you agree?

D'asshat o the day

(and yes please I'd love to play with you....

And yet again, same person (are you sure we can't out them?) as a few previous ones. Sent him a link for this thread.

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.

 

[Vixandra]

No you can't out me. Just kidding, I've never had a PM of mine posted here. But, I do the same thing when I reply to an asshat, send them a link here.

It's in my signature line that I will post unsolicited PM's to the Asshat PM threads. If it was at least an original message I might send a 'thanks, but no thanks' or 'wrong gender, good luck to ya' kind of note. But generic spam notes are not worthy of such.

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.

 

[xxxLunaxxx]

Today's winner-


And yet again, same person (are you sure we can't out them?) as a few previous ones. Sent him a link for this thread.

Yep, I got this one too. Do these guys really think that we don't know they send the same damn message to multiple women???

 

[classynsensual]

We have a winner

Edited to remove sender by recipient as per the rules....

classy milf/gilf?!
are you a milfmeat?!

 

[IrisAlthea]

Virgin


Join Date: Jan
Location: Ohio
Posts: 0
classy milf/gilf?!
are you a milfmeat?!

Please don't quote a PM with the username.
http://www.literotica.com/support/forum_rules.shtml
Rule number 4.

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Good point.
I was hoping it could be fixed without a mod though.