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xxxLunaxxx
Guest
The same to you, on both accounts.
But, if it truly meant nothing, you'd not bothered to tell me that it meant nothing.
Well you seemed like you needed your ego stroked, so I was being helpful.
ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received
- Thread starter h_i_s
- Start date
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Well you seemed like you needed your ego stroked, so I was being helpful.
sensualsharon
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2008
- Posts
- 255
There was a guy on a dating site whos first message he sent was, "Entertain my balls." My, how eloquent, how did he know the way to a ladies heart would be such a line. Idiot. I sent back some sarcastic reply, and in my profile pic I am wearing a beret, so his next message back was the very odd, "I want to cum on your hat." What a character he was.
Aurantica
Beloved and Devoted Pet
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2010
- Posts
- 4,115
"bute" is a mild painkiller commonly used on horses... Maybe he has a thing for cross-species medical play?
Aurantica
Beloved and Devoted Pet
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2010
- Posts
- 4,115
That is only if you intend to use your dick to type. But judging by the quality often displayed here, some guys seem the be just stabbing at the keyboard with their junk and posting whatever comes out.What's with all the "tiny penis" PMs. Doesn't everyone know that you have to have at least 12 inches to use the 'net?
may_I_please
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2013
- Posts
- 13,618
I don't have much fodder for this thread
I had the
"Hey...Do you like to be choked while you orgasm?" PM put of nowhere
And then the guy who PMs every other day with "Hey girl, what are you up to" occasionally interspersed with "Hey girl, what you doing?"
...2 months of it, give up
I had the
"Hey...Do you like to be choked while you orgasm?" PM put of nowhere
And then the guy who PMs every other day with "Hey girl, what are you up to" occasionally interspersed with "Hey girl, what you doing?"
...2 months of it, give up
Misshotndeep
Site Tumbleweed.
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2013
- Posts
- 33,031
I got one yesterday that simply asked one thing and I quote...
Do you like anal?
Seriously that was the whole message. I laughed very hard then asked him if that was his best line... It still is making me laugh.
Do you like anal?
Seriously that was the whole message. I laughed very hard then asked him if that was his best line... It still is making me laugh.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
If you use the Ignore function on him, his PMs won't even get to you.
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Ldy_Sea
Guest
Got one today, even with my SIG he asked me to rp with him on yahoo...
So you wanna rp, but can't be bothered to read. That'll make for a good rp. I just deleted it.
So you wanna rp, but can't be bothered to read. That'll make for a good rp. I just deleted it.
Vixandra
Everything well in hand!
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2003
- Posts
- 6,512
People don't read sig lines, though they seem to read titles. Changing my title to the silly "I'm a guy... yup..." has cut down on the random PM's. Cause who wants to RP with another dude, right?
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Ldy_Sea
Guest
The SIG had cut down about 50% of unwanted PMS. The rest are getting more literate, so I think it works on some...
FragileUnbroken
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2014
- Posts
- 825
Slightly off topic. I'm sure this is heavily overplayed in this forum, but it's a story comment...a quickly deleted, fairly ridiculous one:
"I am trolling you out of concern. You are young, narcissistic, and ignorant, and enraptured with a situation that smacks of sexual abuse, and not in a good way. Good luck with it but be careful. You dont want to be a 40 year old woman in some freak's basement."
He's reading in the bdsm story category, wtf does he expect? He must get off on the stories and then feel guilty so he has to passify his warped conscience by pontificating.
I guess he missed the key words like "consentual, adult, loving, fulfilling," etc
Btw, he commented on the first, introductory, boring story. If he had read further he'd really be shocked.
"I am trolling you out of concern. You are young, narcissistic, and ignorant, and enraptured with a situation that smacks of sexual abuse, and not in a good way. Good luck with it but be careful. You dont want to be a 40 year old woman in some freak's basement."
He's reading in the bdsm story category, wtf does he expect? He must get off on the stories and then feel guilty so he has to passify his warped conscience by pontificating.
I guess he missed the key words like "consentual, adult, loving, fulfilling," etc
Btw, he commented on the first, introductory, boring story. If he had read further he'd really be shocked.
RULES (Lits rules by the way .. not mine):
DO PROTECT and RESPECT the sender's right to anonymity (sp? ... hell i'll look it up on spell checker later).
DO NOT provide real names.
DO NOT provide nicknames/account names/IDs/screen names ... whichever you choose to call them.
DO NOT provide any personal and/or identifiable information such as email addresses, phone numbers, addresses etc.
DO NOT provide a picture of the person who sent you the email or PM .. unless you can prove to Manu or Laurel or Catalina or Marquis and any other admin or MOD who requests said proof from you.
DO NOT do anything else on this thread that is against that the 'terms of service' (TOS) or 'terms of agreement' (TAO) or whatever you want to call that big ass 'rule thingy' you agreed to when you registered for an account at Literotica.
Putting peoples name in hexadecimal code probably still counts as providing a person's name...
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Ldy_Sea
Guest
Okay here's one...
Same guy same Convo 3 times in two days...
Him: Why was your story rejected (after posting a thread asking for an editor to look at a story I wrote, 2 weeks ago and posting it was edited and posted)
Me: The reasons are in the thread(listed 3 times in 7-8 posts in the thread)
Him: I must have missed them. Well I can look at it if you want
Me: 1 as the thread says its been edited and posted
2 shouldn't an editor be able to read and comprehend what he's reading
3 dude we've done this dance twice already...can you stop now?
Same guy same Convo 3 times in two days...
Him: Why was your story rejected (after posting a thread asking for an editor to look at a story I wrote, 2 weeks ago and posting it was edited and posted)
Me: The reasons are in the thread(listed 3 times in 7-8 posts in the thread)
Him: I must have missed them. Well I can look at it if you want
Me: 1 as the thread says its been edited and posted
2 shouldn't an editor be able to read and comprehend what he's reading
3 dude we've done this dance twice already...can you stop now?
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Ldy_Sea
Guest
Dude joins yesterday, 0 posts, and sends me this
Subj: ??
msg: Do you like it in the ass?
Response: Welcome to the asshat thread.
Subj: ??
msg: Do you like it in the ass?
Response: Welcome to the asshat thread.
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2005
- Posts
- 11,904
First dumbass PM in forever (not that I'm complaining about the length of time between them, mind you).
The title: "good crazy"
The contents: "you're insane, I like this"
*Sigh*
Sometimes it is so very hard to keep my vow not to give idiots any attention, but somehow I managed.
The title: "good crazy"
The contents: "you're insane, I like this"
*Sigh*
Sometimes it is so very hard to keep my vow not to give idiots any attention, but somehow I managed.
Asian_Flower
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2013
- Posts
- 10,865
Ldy_Sea, I had the same PM most certainly from the same guy. My response? No, but I suspect you do.
Niceandbrutal
Yes, but-
- Joined
- Aug 27, 2013
- Posts
- 2,816
I joined Lit in August 2013 and I've had exactly two asshat-ish PM's from women.
The first: I am looking for a man to tell me what to do.
My reply: I'll tell you what to do. Keep looking!
The second: I'm imagining you pushing me down onto my knees, shoving your hard cock past my unwilling lips. When you pull me up and bend me over the hood of your car, hiking my skirt up and pushing my panties aside, I whimper, knowing what's about to happen...
My reply: Um, no...
The first: I am looking for a man to tell me what to do.
My reply: I'll tell you what to do. Keep looking!
The second: I'm imagining you pushing me down onto my knees, shoving your hard cock past my unwilling lips. When you pull me up and bend me over the hood of your car, hiking my skirt up and pushing my panties aside, I whimper, knowing what's about to happen...
My reply: Um, no...
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Ldy_Sea
Guest
Okay here's a good one. I'm shortening and paraphrasing, but the asshattery is intact.
I love your incest stories. I have a 10 year old son from a relative who has died. Only my mom, and my aunt know that when I was 16 my relative got me pregnant. Do you live out your stories.
My reply
1Incest as a fantasy can be exciting because it's taboo, in real life, it almost always hurts all those involved. 2Chid molestation, or statutory rape is not a turn on or any female unless she has a damaged psyche. 3 Most stories like this are extremely rare and are not bragged about to strangers. This tells me you're most likely a guy looking to get off pretending to be a woman.
The individual never replied to me.
I love your incest stories. I have a 10 year old son from a relative who has died. Only my mom, and my aunt know that when I was 16 my relative got me pregnant. Do you live out your stories.
My reply
1Incest as a fantasy can be exciting because it's taboo, in real life, it almost always hurts all those involved. 2Chid molestation, or statutory rape is not a turn on or any female unless she has a damaged psyche. 3 Most stories like this are extremely rare and are not bragged about to strangers. This tells me you're most likely a guy looking to get off pretending to be a woman.
The individual never replied to me.
FragileUnbroken
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2014
- Posts
- 825
Nothing worth quoting, but it's still amusing to me.
Guy PMs me then gets bored after a brief exchange because I don't bend his particular direction and he quits PMing.
Two or three weeks later he starts PMing me again, slightly different approach, (at least,) but he seems to have completely forgotten that he's already tried to get to me.
I suppose I am a little flattered, but not much. No, not much at all.
I guess he'll be bored again when he runs up against the same limits.
Guy PMs me then gets bored after a brief exchange because I don't bend his particular direction and he quits PMing.
Two or three weeks later he starts PMing me again, slightly different approach, (at least,) but he seems to have completely forgotten that he's already tried to get to me.
I suppose I am a little flattered, but not much. No, not much at all.
I guess he'll be bored again when he runs up against the same limits.
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