ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[Vixandra]

Oddly enough, my custom user title of "I'm a guy, yup..." seems to have lowered my random PMs.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Wow, wish I'd found this thread when I joined three weeks ago. *facepalm*

Just got this two minutes ago: "Are you married? What are you looking for?"
Nothing like the in-your-face approach for inspiring me to hit that DELETE button.

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Thank you for the clarification.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Thank you for the clarification.

You can change your settings to invisible mode. It usually reduces the amount of messages you get.

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.

 

[Little_Sister]

True... I set that on weekends. It really cuts down on them. But, for the last couple of days, I've been on less and PMs are in the single digits even without invisibility mode.

You poor thing.


I got one unsolicited dick pick today. Every time I get one... I really want to post it here with the UN... maybe I will just forward them to you Drinkz. I know you love them

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.

 

[xxxLunaxxx]

Here's one I got today and I was in the mood to respond lol

Hi there

How are you doing?asl?

tall strong male looking for nasty kinky woman explore some kinky fantasizes


Whats your kinkiest/tabo fantasy? how rough?Yahoo?

My reply:

Oh sure, even though I don't know you, I'd love to tell you about all my fantasies and talk dirty to you on Yahoo. Even though I know you've sent this message to everyone woman online at the moment, how can I resist a tall, strong male?

His follow up:

Nice, looks like you are expecting princecharming riding a fucking white horse to sweep you off your feet, here on lit..dont you...sarcasm doesnt suit everyone..try bj/hj...kisses bye

LMAO I'm so surprised he even knows what sarcasm is.

 

[xxxLunaxxx]

Still messing with him - I must be bored! Ladies - it's all our fault we get these apparently since we don't put in our profile that we don't want messages.

ME: Sarcasm suits me just fine. I'm really impressed you noticed it though. Applause for you. You sent me an unsolicited message, so who's the asshat here?

HIM: Hello again, nice to hear from you so soon again!..if you dont like msg may be you you want to use your mind and spend sometime putting that up in your profile...As your face is like ass crack, may be you would need an asshat...bye (second time bye)

ME: So my face is like ass crack, but you want to yahoo with me anyways? You want me to give you some kinky fantasy you can stroke your tiny 16 year old dick to?

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.

 

[Last_Sunrise]

Still messing with him - I must be bored! Ladies - it's all our fault we get these apparently since we don't put in our profile that we don't want messages.

ME: Sarcasm suits me just fine. I'm really impressed you noticed it though. Applause for you. You sent me an unsolicited message, so who's the asshat here?

HIM: Hello again, nice to hear from you so soon again!..if you dont like msg may be you you want to use your mind and spend sometime putting that up in your profile...As your face is like ass crack, may be you would need an asshat...bye (second time bye)

ME: So my face is like ass crack, but you want to yahoo with me anyways? You want me to give you some kinky fantasy you can stroke your tiny 16 year old dick to?

Luna, you are my kind of person.

 

[Last_Sunrise]

Here is one I received:

aloha baby i from maui hawaii im on yahoo would love to chat if you are not busy im on yahoo too i have a tiny penis and wuld lov fo yu to make fun of it im on yahoo now when can we chat on yahoo hugs n kisses my buteful lover im on yahoo wating for yu

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.

 

[Last_Sunrise]

That's unreadable!

I just wonder if he uses Yahoo or not?

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Here is one I received:

aloha baby i from maui hawaii im on yahoo would love to chat if you are not busy im on yahoo too have a tiny penis and wuld lov fo yu to make fun of it im on yahoo now when can we chat on yahoo hugs n kisses my buteful lover im on yahoo wating for yu

That's unreadable!

Pretty much unreadable, yes, but he did - barely - manage to get the message across that he's on Yahoo...

(Strange - I'm reduced to {literally} typing with one hand now, since three of the four fingers on my left hand don't work for shit, yet I still manage to produce comprehensible text despite an occasional uncaught, uncorrected typo.)

 

[Last_Sunrise]

Pretty much unreadable, yes, but he did - barely - manage to get the message across that he's on Yahoo...

(Strange - I'm reduced to {literally} typing with one hand now, since three of the four fingers on my left hand don't work for shit, yet I still manage to produce comprehensible text despite an occasional uncaught, uncorrected typo.)

Here is my thing. I know that at times I misspell a word, use bad grammar or whatever, but I at least try to make complete sentences and let my feeling come across at times. I don't fukin' understand why people try to be so g'dam lazy while trying to show people who they are through their typing.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Pretty much unreadable, yes, but he did - barely - manage to get the message across that he's on Yahoo...

(Strange - I'm reduced to {literally} typing with one hand now, since three of the four fingers on my left hand don't work for shit, yet I still manage to produce comprehensible text despite an occasional uncaught, uncorrected typo.)

Here is my thing. I know that at times I misspell a word, use bad grammar or whatever, but I at least try to make complete sentences and let my feeling come across at times. I don't fukin' understand why people try to be so g'dam lazy while trying to show people who they are through their typing.

Occasional misspellings, grammar errors, etc., are not really a problem, but messages like the one quoted simply demonstrate a nearly complete illiteracy or lack of caring, which is, IMNSHO, a foolish waste of time in a site devoted to LITerate erotica.

 

[Ldy_Sea]

Got one the other day

Subj: We Shooed Talk

Message: I love the way you write, especially the way you use proper gramner and speling.

I would love to chat with you sometime since I too am well red and love a litert woman.

Sig: This above all else, to thine own heart be true. Wm. Shakespear

My reply: OKAAAAAAAAAY...

 

[Endless_Night]

(Strange - I'm reduced to {literally} typing with one hand now, since three of the four fingers on my left hand don't work for shit, yet I still manage to produce comprehensible text despite an occasional uncaught, uncorrected typo.)

One-handed and you're still more articulate than most. Kudos to you!

Do grammatical pedants bore me? Absolutely. Should online posts and PMs should be comprehensible? Hell yes.

Here is one I received:

aloha baby i from maui hawaii im on yahoo would love to chat if you are not busy im on yahoo too i have a tiny penis and wuld lov fo yu to make fun of it im on yahoo now when can we chat on yahoo hugs n kisses my buteful lover im on yahoo wating for yu

For some reason this bothers me. It's conjure "fat ass" to mind. Possibly not not the best opening PM to a woman.

 

[Last_Sunrise]

One-handed and you're still more articulate than most. Kudos to you!

Do grammatical pedants bore me? Absolutely. Should online posts and PMs should be comprehensible? Hell yes.





For some reason this bothers me. It's conjure "fat ass" to mind. Possibly not not the best opening PM to a woman.

It made me immediately think of a teenage boy pretending to be older or a creeper who preys the net for anyone who will hear his needs.

 

[Endless_Night]

It made me immediately think of a teenage boy pretending to be older or a creeper who preys the net for anyone who will hear his needs.

Sooooooooooo glad I'm not dating.

 

[xxxLunaxxx]

If you're still messing with him, you're being just as much of an asshat.

In your opinion maybe....which means nothing to me. Have a wonderful day!

 

[drinkz]

If Query put as much effort into real life as he does trolling, maybe he would still have a marriage.