ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[Penuche]

I don't get a ton of messages and I haven't received any asshat messages. What's with that?

Luck of the draw?

 

[cookiecat]

I only ever receive nice polite messages. I think I scare the nutters

Same. Sometimes boring but generally nice.

Luck of the draw?

LOL. I realize it's me.

 

[Cumference]

I always thought they were plentiful.
Could they be endangered?
Could they be slipping out of the gene pool as a result of inbreeding and lack of attention?

Should we mourn the loss of biodiversity?

 

[cookiecat]

I always thought they were plentiful.
Could they be endangered?
Could they be slipping out of the gene pool as a result of inbreeding and lack of attention?

Should we mourn the loss of biodiversity?

I'm thinking the BDSM forum isn't active enough to motivate messaging. Or maybe I'm just not active enough!!

I was posting some stuff in the Playground and started getting a ton 'o messages. Nothing too ass-hatty, just cliche "how YOU doin?"

Once I stopped posting in that crazy space, I stopped getting so many messages.

 

[Ldy_Sea]

Too many syllables.
They never make it to the end without going flaccid.... then they run!

That made me laugh. Thanks.

 

[Ldy_Sea]

Got this one a few minutes ago

shall we read the bible together?

Not bad until you look at the posters history. Lots of comments about "licking snatch" and talking about "My Bitch English Teacher"

wow just wow.

Here is our entire conversation

shall we read the bible together?

Welcome to the asshat thread...

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=78219240&postcount=4617

lol, it's my last post on the threads that really pissed you off...as it summed you up perfectly

as for licking snatch ... she posted something to that effect about me just a few messages above...so OMFG, call the police

you can put this in the asshat thread too

Never heard of you before.

Never read any of your posts before.

Don't care what someone else said. It's your PM that showed you're worthy of being an asshat. Read the bible, on a porn site. Wow really. What about any of my posts would make you think that I was here for bible study?

The quotes were just to show that you are trolling me. Welcome to my ignore list.

fuckwit

lol.

 

[Penuche]

From this morning's uninvited waste of bandwidth and pixels :

Are you horny
Not anywhere near is OK, I can get cum to you from the far.
“This excites me so much I am afraid I cannot stop”
"Why you so mean do not let me cum closer with some."

 

[Penuche]

Dear ridiculously horny male litser,

I realise that you think that greeting an unfamiliar female litser, whose face you've never seen and with whom you've never interracted before, with "hey beautiful" ought to be taken as a compliment.

Guess what? It wasn't. All it told me was that you were so desperate to get your cybering end away that you'd use any flattery you could dredge up.

For that, you get stuck on ignore.

 

[Farawyn]

Dear ridiculously horny male litser,

I realise that you think that greeting an unfamiliar female litser, whose face you've never seen and with whom you've never interracted before, with "hey beautiful" ought to be taken as a compliment.

Guess what? It wasn't. All it told me was that you were so desperate to get your cybering end away that you'd use any flattery you could dredge up.

For that, you get stuck on ignore.

I wish I did not delete my PMs. I had a doozy of an exchange where I told someone that in 5 lines he went from mildly amusing to a 12 year old boy who needed to fuck off.
Should have known better to answer a cock shot profile pic.

Next time, I will. He's also unrelentingly dense. So, there will be a next time.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I wish I did not delete my PMs. I had a doozy of an exchange where I told someone that in 5 lines he went from mildly amusing to a 12 year old boy who needed to fuck off.
Should have known better to answer a cock shot profile pic.

Next time, I will. He's also unrelentingly dense. So, there will be a next time.

The last guy that sent me a pic of some ginormous cock and an indecent proposal got something like this as a reply:

"Why would you send me a picture of somebody else's penis? I don't understand your humour "

No more messages from him, what a surprise!

 

[Naughty69M2M]

Is it bad, I check this thread to see if one of my PM's sent me here?


SO glad I have not shown up....yet.

 

[islandjoe2]

At one time or another it's possible that every post here could have been written about me.....hopefully I haven't done anything stupid recently, but if I have I'm pretty sure it was not intentional and I apologize.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Would I have to take off my wedding ring before I show you why I have my tongue pierced?

Is it to cut those cheesy lines you are spieling out?

Last night's winner

 

[cascadiabound]

I just remembered that I did get one!
First message I ever received on this site back when I didn't have an avatar:

"Title: Welcome to this naughty world

Hi
I am Ron
an older wickeder man
would love to be friends and know you better"

Definitely one of the nicer ones, I just told him I was male in response.

I think he sends that same message to all the newbies. I got that one when I was *new* too.
I am pretty sure I just ignored...

 

[cascadiabound]

At one time or another it's possible that every post here could have been written about me.....hopefully I haven't done anything stupid recently, but if I have I'm pretty sure it was not intentional and I apologize.

Well, Island Joe - you never sent me an asshat message, so no apologies needed as far as I can tell.

 

[KateKitten]

I've gotten quite a few on other sites, but only one so far here. This is the first message I'd ever gotten from this person.

Their PM: "Like it in the ass?"

Maybe I'm a bit old fashioned, but I'd like to have a bit of human interaction with someone before I start talking with them about butt fucking.

I will admit that it got a laugh out of me, though.

 

[cascadiabound]

I've gotten quite a few on other sites, but only one so far here. This is the first message I'd ever gotten from this person.

Their PM: "Like it in the ass?"

Maybe I'm a bit old fashioned, but I'd like to have a bit of human interaction with someone before I start talking with them about butt fucking.

I will admit that it got a laugh out of me, though.

Wow! Yes...I'd laugh at that too and ignore the dude forever simply for being rude. Sheesh.

 

[HisArpy]

Hot damn! I read this thread and got so excited about maybe missing something everyone else experiences here that I immediately logged in to check my messages. Maybe someone visited my profile page?

Nothing.


I WANT SOME ASSHATTERY! DAMMIT!


Waiting, waiting. Still nothing.

*sigh*

Logging off in 3, 2, 1...

 

[Cumference]

Maybe you and Oberon could do some mutual asshattination?


If you go to the general board and reveal that you are a woman (or just anything female with a pulse.... pulse is probably not even needed) I think you can rest assured that they will flood your inbox.

The Great Gonzo keeps them away from mine.

 

[Penuche]

Hot damn! I read this thread and got so excited about maybe missing something everyone else experiences here that I immediately logged in to check my messages. Maybe someone visited my profile page?

Nothing.


I WANT SOME ASSHATTERY! DAMMIT!

See now where you probably went wrong (if you really craved being sent asshattery PMs) was mentioning in your profile that you're male.

I'm not claiming that all female litsers are angels, but few have the time and energy to send "me so horny" PMs en masse.

 

[Mindfondler]

I have a recurring nightmare of opening this thread and seeing one of my PMs listed here.
.

 

[KimGordon67]

I used to have some classic arguments in the chat site I used before I found Lit. As a general rule they'd go something like this:
Guy: 'hay [sic] babe, u [sic] wanna suck my cock?'
Me: 'I usually like to get to know someone first, but thanks for asking.'
Guy: 'well, u're [sic] old and fat anyway'
Me: 'You know, there's no need to be rude - and seriously, do you think calling me 'old and fat' is going to get me to change my mind?'
Usually this would degenerate pretty quickly and eventually I'd just block them, but a couple of times, after a lengthy discussion, said guy would finally admit that he just didn't know how to approach women, and that yeah, insulting them was maybe not the best strategy.

 

[HisArpy]

See now where you probably went wrong (if you really craved being sent asshattery PMs) was mentioning in your profile that you're male.

I'm not claiming that all female litsers are angels, but few have the time and energy to send "me so horny" PMs en masse.

Hey, a guy can dream can't he?

Seriously, if HERarpy ever found out about someone sending me asshat PM's, the entire internet would probably spontaneously ignite and melt its circuits to try to hide the evidence. It wouldn't work - she's smarter than the above-average woman and knows lots of scary stuff.

I'll just have to engage in glorious and magnanimous self sacrifice. It's not fair that I have to miss out on all the fun, but... So, I've set my inbox to no thanks. For your protection.

 

[Farawyn]

Hey, a guy can dream can't he?

Seriously, if HERarpy ever found out about someone sending me asshat PM's, the entire internet would probably spontaneously ignite and melt its circuits to try to hide the evidence. It wouldn't work - she's smarter than the above-average woman and knows lots of scary stuff.

I'll just have to engage in glorious and magnanimous self sacrifice. It's not fair that I have to miss out on all the fun, but... So, I've set my inbox to no thanks. For your protection.

Nice bait. Still not bitin'.


I told you guys. The worst one I got just said one word. "Owned?"

Fuck YOU.

 

[HisArpy]

Nice bait. Still not bitin'.

Hmmm. Maybe I need better bait?

Is it the angle of the dangle;
Which gets you in a tangle?
Or perhaps it's really;
The glitter of the bangle?

Oh lookie, homemade asshattery!


Dangle, dangle...