ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[Farawyn]

"Hey. I know that dude."
-Jeff Spicoli

 

[SheLikes2Watch]

Either the first or one of the first PMs I got was asking me to role play humping an amputee's stump. And he tried repeatedly. Keep in mind I'd never even posted or had anything in my profile about role playing or a kink like that. I honestly wondered if I was being hazed.

Nothing against whatever floats someone's boat, but why cold call someone with something that specific, with no inkling of interest on the recipient's part?

I'd appreciate at least a "what are you into?" before messaging about something I haven't said I like.

 

[cookiecat]

The beauty of online.

Either the first or one of the first PMs I got was asking me to role play humping an amputee's stump. And he tried repeatedly. Keep in mind I'd never even posted or had anything in my profile about role playing or a kink like that. I honestly wondered if I was being hazed.

Nothing against whatever floats someone's boat, but why cold call someone with something that specific, with no inkling of interest on the recipient's part?

I'd appreciate at least a "what are you into?" before messaging about something I haven't said I like.

Whaaaat? That is really random. On another site, I had someone ask if I'd play an amputee. I was so fascinated I had to reply. It was more of a way to put someone in bondage than it was actually wanting to saw off my arm. But still...

 

[Eliphaz]

No married, 0nly satisfy!

 

[KimGordon67]

Him: Words to the effect of 'You seem interesting - want to chat?'
Me (after checking a very sparse profile but seeing he's wanting hook ups): Words to the effect 'Thanks, but I'm not really looking right now, because of XYZ. I'm really just on here to learn new things and general banter'.
Him: Words to the effect of 'Oh, you'll get bored with XYZ eventually and then you'll want me'. Repeat a few more times, interspersed with some direct questions.
Me, eventually: Words to the effect 'Look, I really don't think I'm what you're looking for.'
Him (direct quote): "Not quite understanding why you are on here to be honest but thats your deal."

Maybe I'm confused ... this isn't actually a dating site or Tinder, is it?

 

[Tommybowler]

Him: Words to the effect of 'You seem interesting - want to chat?'
Me (after checking a very sparse profile but seeing he's wanting hook ups): Words to the effect 'Thanks, but I'm not really looking right now, because of XYZ. I'm really just on here to learn new things and general banter'.
Him: Words to the effect of 'Oh, you'll get bored with XYZ eventually and then you'll want me'. Repeat a few more times, interspersed with some direct questions.
Me, eventually: Words to the effect 'Look, I really don't think I'm what you're looking for.'
Him (direct quote): "Not quite understanding why you are on here to be honest but thats your deal."

Maybe I'm confused ... this isn't actually a dating site or Tinder, is it?

I cant highlight the last few words, no it isn't but many a desperate man hopes it is

 

[KimGordon67]

I cant highlight the last few words, no it isn't but many a desperate man hopes it is

I can understand it working like that for some people ... and I've definitely had some long term online relationship with people I've met here. But it's clearly not the ONLY purpose of the site.

On the plus side, I got a lovely PM yesterday morning from someone who said a conversation with me had helped him have a long overdue talk with his wife, with favourable results. So that was nice.

 

[Porkwarrior]

I am not surprised.

Keep White Knighting...it'll work for a bit, then you'll move on. Don't you ever get tired of it?

I've actually known one or two guys who've gone into online chat rooms (not here but elsewhere) as women, just to see if what the women were complaining about was true. They were pretty shocked - they both said it was actually *worse* than most women say.

Yeah, and after the first day or two if they actually post it ends. (6 hours for chat rooms, 6 weeks for Lit)
Cue all the women that last here more than a month starting to bitch that after 6 weeks they don't get any unsolicited PM's at all so they bitch that nobody thinks they're hot...Well until they start their latest AmPic th'd just to attention whore...ugh...

 

[Porkwarrior]

I got one!

~ ~ ~

"I'm looking for a real man;-)

F1nd y0u, my L0llip0p. Look1ng f0r a n3w f3el1ng? No married, 0nly satisfy. Write m3 (my ID [Numbers here]) -> http://******/2chnnCh"

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I just got one.

Find you, my Swe3t. Looking f0r a n3w exper1ence? No marr1ed, 0nly des1re. Wr1te m3 (my ID 621205)

 

[KimGordon67]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I just got one.

Me too. And I'm not even a man.

 

[Gwanji16]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I just got one.

I just got the same, from someone named Elena Moreno. A bi troll, perhaps!

 

[Porkwarrior]

I just got the same, from someone named Elena Moreno. A bi troll, perhaps!

I'm starting to think she's not that monogamous.

 

[Sapphire_Orchid]

I got the "I need a real man ;-)" PM myself earlier.

I'm not really sure what part of the user name Sapphire_Orchid screams out "real man's man" to this person.

 

[Betticus]

I am not surprised.

I did that once.. a friend let me use her pics for the profile and OMFG!!! I barely made the profile and was already getting blown up by fake doms demanding shit like they owned me. It was really fucked up. I got around 300 messages the first day.

There's some really messed up people out there.

 

[Betticus]

This thread could be called stuff to never, ever say to anyone.. ever.

 

[Betticus]

I'm looking for a real man;-)
F1nd y0u, my L0ll1pop. Looking for a new senses? No married, only delight. Write me (my ID 448694) her3 http://******/2cCd2PG

dammit

 

[Naughty69M2M]

I'm looking for a real man;-)
F1nd y0u, my L0ll1pop. Looking for a new senses? No married, only delight. Write me (my ID 448694) her3 http://******/2cCd2PG

dammit

Lol just got the same basic pm from a person who just joined lit.....

F1nd you, my Candy. L00k1ng f0r a new fe3ling? No married, only del1ght. Wr1te me (my ID 187621) => http://******/2ceR98r


Edit: glad the when I finally made this thread it was because I received to pm and not one of sent.

 

[Mindfondler]

Apart from anything else, what is supposed to be the appeal of using random numbers in place of letters? It's not as if the writer is having to circumvent any content filters. To me, it just looks demented rather than funky, and it makes the text harder to read.

Then again, I'm probably not the target audience.
.

 

[cookiecat]

It's fingernails on the chalkboard when someone uses "cum" for come - ie, do you want to cum with me?

I see what you did there. Super clever.

 

[Mrtenant]

Lol just got the same basic pm from a person who just joined lit.....

F1nd you, my Candy. L00k1ng f0r a new fe3ling? No married, only del1ght. Wr1te me (my ID 187621) => http://******/2ceR98r


Edit: glad the when I finally made this thread it was because I received to pm and not one of sent.

Got the same one. And I thought she and I could be exclusive? *sniff....

 

[MeekMe]

Apart from anything else, what is supposed to be the appeal of using random numbers in place of letters? It's not as if the writer is having to circumvent any content filters. To me, it just looks demented rather than funky, and it makes the text harder to read.

Then again, I'm probably not the target audience.
.

You're being filtered out.

By sending an initial email that's obvious in its shortcomings, the scammers are isolating the most gullible targets. If you trash their email, that's fine. They don't want you, someone from whom there's virtually no chance of receiving any money. They want people who, faced with a ridiculous email, still don't recognize its illegitimacy.

 

[irishblade]

I'm looking for a real man;-)
F1nd y0u, my L0ll1pop. Looking for a new senses? No married, only delight. Write me (my ID 448694) her3 http://******/2cCd2PG

dammit

I got this one too!

 

[DarkSimian]

I'm looking for a real man;-)
F1nd y0u, my L0ll1pop. Looking for a new senses? No married, only delight. Write me (my ID 448694) her3 http://******/2cCd2PG

dammit

I got this one yesterday too. Nothing in my inbox for days, and then I get this bullshit *sigh*

 

[Sissyjasmine84]

Him: Words to the effect of 'You seem interesting - want to chat?'
Me (after checking a very sparse profile but seeing he's wanting hook ups): Words to the effect 'Thanks, but I'm not really looking right now, because of XYZ. I'm really just on here to learn new things and general banter'.
Him: Words to the effect of 'Oh, you'll get bored with XYZ eventually and then you'll want me'. Repeat a few more times, interspersed with some direct questions.
Me, eventually: Words to the effect 'Look, I really don't think I'm what you're looking for.'
Him (direct quote): "Not quite understanding why you are on here to be honest but thats your deal."

Maybe I'm confused ... this isn't actually a dating site or Tinder, is it?

Seems like he doesn't know when he has lost and when he finally figures it out, his ego is hurt lol

 

[HisArpy]

Wait, whut? You mean my secret lollipop lover doesn't really want ME?

I'm crushed. It seemed so sincere and honest.