ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[islandjoe2]

So, Joe... I hear you have a period fetish..lie down on the couch and tell me alllllll about it

You're right. I. Love. them. It all started with my mother...she was an editor and copy-writer at our local paper....she would leave her periods....everywhere....

 

[BiBunny]

A well-reasoned argument you've made, and I would tend to agree. That being said, I really couldn't care less what they do with my responses, because if I am bothering to respond to that kind of PM, I'm doing it to make myself laugh, not because I actually expect that they will have some sudden epiphany and realize the err of their ways.

I know, it's selfish of me but it happens so rarely to me....I'm sure if these women don't get their rocks off from my ridiculous response to their request, they will easily find someone more willing.

Oh, God, that did sound like I was lecturing you, didn't it? Crap. I didn't mean it that way, I promise.

Sorry?

 

[islandjoe2]

Oh, God, that did sound like I was lecturing you, didn't it? Crap. I didn't mean it that way, I promise.

Sorry?

Oh, no worries! I didn't take it as a lecture, just healthy and stimulating debate!

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Asshat Total Stranger: Are you having a good weekend?
Me Being Nice: So far so good, yeah! What about you?
Asshat: And by good, I mean, Did you have a great fuck session?

I should really know better by now...

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

NO, your welcoming , warm and open nature is just a wonderful aspect of you.

Awwwww... Thanks!

 

[Penuche]

I've just been asked to skype with a complete stranger.

No intro, no thread chat, no PM chitchat, next to nothing on his profile. WTAF was he thinking?

Oh wait, that's right - another one with his brain between his legs.

 

[Primalex]

I've just been asked to skype with a complete stranger.

No intro, no thread chat, no PM chitchat, next to nothing on his profile. WTAF was he thinking?

That you would like to skype.

 

[Penuche]

That you would like to skype.

If I wanted to Skype, I'd have the details on my profile page. And I still wouldn't with a complete stranger.

BTW want or not, crappy mobile broadband doesn't allow it.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Asshat Total Stranger: Are you having a good weekend?
Me Being Nice: So far so good, yeah! What about you?
Asshat: And by good, I mean, Did you have a great fuck session?

I should really know better by now...

Sometimes answering the seemingly innocent and friendly PMs just bites you in the ass.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Sometimes answering the seemingly innocent and friendly PMs just bites you in the ass.

So true!
Every now and then there really are decent people out there to talk to though.
Ok, occasionally.
Ok, so it's rare but sometimes!

 

[Maraquerida]

Every now and then there really are decent people out there to talk to though.
Ok, occasionally.
Ok, so it's rare but sometimes!

Glad to hear it. In that case, I'll stick around.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

What have I done?

 

[Vixandra]

Tonight's winner and my response-

So you have 2 full rolls of duct tape. How do you tape me up and gag me?

Well, I'm presuming this is for a costume so I wouldn't gag you. I'd have you put on a t-shirt first then duct tape your torso in such a way that I could build a reasonable pattern for a doublet that would fit you to a T. Then, I'd carefully mark out my pattern and cut the tape-laden shirt off.

Not sure why you asked me this.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Great response, Vixandra! You all are inspiring me to consider replying to some of tnese, not just delete.

 

[Aliceinchains36]

I wish I'd seen this thread before I deleted the rape poem...

 

[Vixandra]

Extreme amounts of pain make me more willing to mess with random PM's as a distraction (and also stops me actually sewing costumes damn it). Just sent him a link for this thread. Its not like my profile doesn't have a warning

 

[Cute3Kitty]

I wish I had known about this thread a year ago when I was new here. The worst message I received was definitely from some random guy who I did not know who wanted to put a collar on me, make me live in a kennel and treat me like a dog. I was looking to explore my submissive side then and had mentioned it on my profile.

I did not know how to respond and just put him on ignore haha

 

[Cumference]

Lacking proper asshats, I noticed that my favorite thread polluter has returned. 15 (probably juvenile and incestuous) comments in a row (but who knows, thanks to iggy), in an otherwise nice picture thread.

 

[Ahlam]

Asshat: Daddys home so be a good girl and suck my dick precious

Me: You named your dick,"Precious?" Let's analyze that. And no.

Asshat: ur pose as a sub but u act like such a fuckin bitch to me? ur a disgrace! this is fuckin BDSM not starbucks u need to learn humility and respect for Doms if ur gonna tell people ur submissive or ur gonna get punished

Me: I would like a single tall soy latte, please.

I don't often visit the board anymore because I got bored. Yet lost boys still land in my inbox and we have exchanges like this little gem. I can't decide if that is boring or not.

 

[Cumference]

Forget about the spankings.

His spelling is truly painful!

 

[whisperdconsent]

i joined this site a few years ago but don't come here often because my Domina keeps me busy and i am not allowed here without Her permission, so it's a little off that i would have gotten very many pm's at all, especially rude one's but i have had my share. i don't have any pics up, again because She hadn't allowed it, yet, so i think it's odd that i've gotten some of the ones that i have.

One of the first was from a guy who started by saying that he knew i was wet and playing with myself just seeing that i had a message and that it was from him, someone i had never talked to or even seen. He seemed to think that just seeing his name got me so hot and bothered i couldn't contain my lust.

When i politely replied i was NOT aroused and masturbating he still decided that i was hungry for his cock and wanted nothing more than to have it rammed into all my orifices.

Having no experience with this type of site or the pm thing and not knowing the protocols, and being expected to be respectful and courteous at all times i replied that i was in a relationship with a woman who was also my Owner and that i did not his, or anyone's, cock rammed in me anywhere.

This seems to have been encouraging to him and he continued with how both myself and my Domina were both dying to have him 'pound us both until we were raw and couldn't walk'. He went on let me know that my Domina was going to be so glad he talked to me because he had me so horny and i was going to be all over Her when She came home and that She would insist that i talk to him every day because the sex would be so much better afterwards.

At some point the conversation turned to spanking and i 'discovered' that i was dying to be spanked by him, and so was my Dom. i found this very funny and imagined how that would go and pictured the look on his face if he tried to do that to Her and the surprise he was in for.

He finally had to go and i thought he had gotten the message i was neither turned on or interested. but then the next time i came on there he was, this tome telling me how bad i needed his cock and how i was starving for his cum. He told me that all i could think of was how much better my Dom's pussy would taste with his cum all over it.

When i explained, as nicely as i could that my Dom's pussy tasted exquisite by itself he took that to mean i wanted him even more.

During this exchange i commented i was required to show my Owner everything i do online and he 'glad that he had made our sex line so much better and fulfilled us both with his presence'. Luckily he stopped after a few more times and i haven't heard from him since.

Like i mentioned i haven't a lot of experience going online and i was a little freaked out that he made several remarks about how hot i was without me having any pictures up. i unplugged the camera because i was worried he had hacked into it and was looking at me sitting here naked while we were talking.

i have received a few others that weren't so aggressive, or arrogant since then and can't get over the fact that some men seem to think that being a Lesbian means i starved for their cocks.

The majority of people here seem to be respectful and nice and i have learned i don't have to respond just because i received a message.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Classic asshattery It is a shame you are required to be respectful to everyone, because not everyone deserves it, that's for sure!
And just to say, that entire "worried about the camera" thing is pretty common. When my company got new laptops with built in cameras for all of their employees, I noticed that about two thirds of employees had their cameras covered over with electrical or duct tape within the first week

 

[Blue]

I wish I got messages like these, just for the novelty value.
But alas, women don't seem to be as obsessive or nearly as many in number as this particular strain of male human and I don't seem to be reeling in any obnoxious gays.