Bathhouse or Gay Bar?

[MsNatalie99]

I prefer a gay bar.I will not disagree with the fact that you have a higher chance of success in a bath house. However, I like to know more about them than the fact that they are horny and have a dick. In a bar, you are less likely to hook up, but it is much more comfortable courting. You also have the benefit of knowing they're also fans of dick. Just my opinion though

 

[LoftyCraig]

I prefer a gay bar.I will not disagree with the fact that you have a higher chance of success in a bath house. However, I like to know more about them than the fact that they are horny and have a dick. In a bar, you are less likely to hook up, but it is much more comfortable courting. You also have the benefit of knowing they're also fans of dick. Just my opinion though

i agree, would prefer th check out their personality and how they think than pure lust.

 

[Shavedallover]

Bathhouse by far. Likeminded naked men there for the same reasons. Albeit different approaches but wanting the same. The MM sexual dynamics!

 

[Averagecuriousdad]

Never been to either but I'd be more to try a bathhouse or sauna

 

[AlphaLyon]

10 Commandments

As a top, I prefer bathhouses since the ratio of tops:bottoms always seemed to be in my favor.

Here are some of my tips:
1. Know your limits ahead of time and stick to them. It's easy to get caught up in the moment and do something you might regret later. If you feel like you're about to do something that crosses one of your limits, DON'T do it. You can always think about it after and reevaluate your limits for your next visit, but in-the-moment is NOT when you should be doing that.

2. Manage your expectations. Some nights will be busy and packed with hot guys. Some nights will be slow with no one you find attractive. Just be in the moment and willing to spend some time just relaxing naked. There is always a way to have a good time at a bathhouse without relying on the expectation of sex.

3. Walk around the place first. Get a feel for the layout, the themed areas, etc. Don't just "set up camp" at the first place you come to.

4. Be respectful... If someone is not giving you a green-light, or they act hesitant, back up. Let them know that you are interested, but leave it in their hands to accept the invitation. If so, then game on. If not, back off. The atmosphere of a bathhouse lives and dies on the attitudes of its patrons. Be a part of creating a positive environment and everyone will have a better time.

5. ...and expect respect. I have a "three strikes" rule when receiving unwarranted advances. Strike 1: I thank the person for their advance but tell them politely that I am not interested. Strike 2: I drop the formalities and tell them that if they do not respect my space, I will notify management. Strike 3: I get management involved.

6. Not everyone is for everyone. Don't take it personally if someone turns you down. My general response for being turned down is, "No problem. I hope you find someone you're into because you're hot AF." It leaves them with a compliment and doesn't create this air of negativity from a rejection.

7. Be friendly. A smile costs nothing. Just don't be overly flirty when you're being friendly and give off the wrong signals.

8. Be polite. If you run into someone because you're stumbling through the dark maze and can't see (guilty!), apologize. If you're in a crowded steamroom, make room for the new guy. And even if you just railed someone while calling them a "fucking faggot bitch slut", there's nothing that says you can't tell them thank you for the "ride" after you're done with them.

9. It's not just about sex. Sometimes it can be fun and erotic to just relax naked with other guys. Allow yourself to have "downtime" to relax, recharge, and get to know the other visitors.

10. Know when to talk and when to shut up. There is nothing wrong with talking about your limits with your partner BEFORE stuff goes down. Ask them what they're into, tell them what you like, and make sure that your wants are compatible. Rubber or raw? Recip or worship? Animalistic or passionate? etc.
Conversely, avoid triggering conversations in public spaces. No one wants to hear you talk about how the moon landing was fake while in the steam room. No. One.

Please, more stories of encounters at bathhouses.

I've written one so far, based upon my time at the Steamworks in Berkeley. Feel free to check it out. *shameless plug*

 

[Pines]

I haven't been to a bathhouse in over a year. Miss going occasionally. Looking forward to some voyeur and exhibitionist fun.

 

[nostuff]

Thanks for the advice, Alpha. It's worth reading.

As I've already noted, I was amazed that everybody was so respectful on my first bathhouse visit, but I'm sure there will be exceptions. We'll all still human, after all.

A question about bathhouse etiquette: Is it proper to walk around without a towel around you waist?

I've never gotten the hang of wearing a towel, and when mine kept falling off, I just tossed it over my shoulder. Nobody seemed to mind, and it felt really good to let it all hang out. And while I'm no Adonis, I'm reasonably fit.

It feels like a silly question, given that I was in a house full of gay men looking for sex. But always best to ask.

 

[AlphaLyon]

A question about bathhouse etiquette: Is it proper to walk around without a towel around you waist?

Unless the BH has a policy, I think it comes down to personal preference. We're all there to have a good time and relax, so whichever you prefer, THAT is the right decision.

Personally, I've found some BH's crank the A/C too high, so a towel is definitely needed. Plus, I prefer to wear a towel and get a good dick outline showing. Yeah, I'm that tease. haha.

 

[jjlc74]

I much prefer a bathhouse or sauna, everyone is there for the same reason, no fooling around, no having to go through the motions. Even on quiet days I’ve had very good experiences. I tend to use bathhouses a lot when I don’t have a boyfriend, I’ve even met a couple of my boyfriends while at bathhouses.

 

[WhiskeyLvr]

Any bath houses in the Denver area?

 

[tristantrotsky]

Different Strokes

I much prefer a bathhouse or sauna, everyone is there for the same reason, no fooling around, no having to go through the motions. Even on quiet days I’ve had very good experiences. I tend to use bathhouses a lot when I don’t have a boyfriend, I’ve even met a couple of my boyfriends while at bathhouses

I guess that the question depends very much on what you want to get out of the visit.
A Gay Bar is a wonderful place to meet men in a non-pressured social situation, sound them out over a drink, tease and flirt, so that you then feel you are in some way attuned to each other before taking it a step further onto the next level.
The bathhouse has always been a more directly sexual environment where men can check each other out naked, and indulge in furtive one-off anonymous sex. This was as true of the bathhouses in ancient Rome as it is now...

 

[jamesdillinger]

Sauna preference

I definitely prefer a sauna, as many before have noted, it is about the mutual coincidence of wants. If you’ll forgive me, a previously posted elsewhere recall of a short interaction in a sauna:
I was once in a steam room alone relaxing stroking myself in the damp hot darkness. A couple of guys came in and watched for a few minutes, then approached me, dropped their towels. One guy bent down abs wrapped his hand softly around my stiff cock….such delicious pleasure.

His friend stayed standing and moved towards me, his mid section at my eye level. As I focused in the dark I was shocked by the thickness of his cock, I’d never seen anything like it, not long, maybe 5 inches, but seriously fat. He pulled my hand towards his cock and I began to stroke it, then he pushed himself towards my mouth. Surprised by his forwardness, but also intrigued, I opened my mouth, licking his fat cock-head. Very quickly he began to pump in and out of my mouth, hitting the back of my throat, ramming hard and fast, spit drooling out of my mouth. Holding the back of my head, he kept pumping my mouth with his beer-can-thick cock - his friend by this time was humping my stiff eight incher but I could barely register that, all of me was focused on the merciless face fucking I was getting from his friend. After a couple of minutes of wet slapping his huge cock down my throat in the steamy hotness he let rip five or six thick ropes of cum right down my throat, no need to swallow

 

[klippert]

Never been to a bath house. Where I had most of my luck, was the bar. Eventually you hear through the grapevine, the bars that have the most “experiences”, for a better word

 

[BiDrew42]

I love both, and I've had wonderful experiences in both.

Long time ago, picked up by two guys at a gay bar in Ft. Lauderdale. Out at their car I'm sucking one guy's cock while he's stretched out on the back seat of their car while the second guy fucks me in the ass. Two lesbians watching through the back side window while making out. First guy cums in my ass and someone else takes his place - never saw his face but he had a big, thick cock. Finally the guy I'm blowing cums in my mouth, and a few minutes later the guy fucking me blasts a huge load in my ass. Just as a third guy shoves his cock into my ass someone spotted a police car entering the parking lot and we all hastily dressed. I went home with the two guys who picked me up and we had a great night. One of my favorite sexual experiences.

Much more recently, I was the needy old guy strapped into a sling chair in a private room at a sauna in Sydney. I had just split up with my side guy, and I missed his 26 cm cock desperately. I rented the room for six hours and got fucked probably 20 times and sucked almost that many cocks. I did not require condoms and probably a dozen of the guys who fucked me did so bareback. Not all of them came inside me but several did. Many of the blowjobs resulted in me swallowing a load of cum or having my face painted. It was a memorable night but when I was cleaning up later I had to admit to myself what a bad idea the no-condom fun had been. Fortunately, I didn't catch any nasty STD's and I was on PreP at the time.

Many more wonderful experiences at both gay bars and saunas/bath houses.

 

[DaddysSissySlut24]

I am so screwed by Covid. After experiencing my first man sex at a bathhouse last fall, I was so looking forward to expanding on the experience when I began traveling on business this past spring.

Alas, the virus made a mess of things, and I’ve been laying low ever since.

But sooner or later, the threat will fade (because of a vaccine, I hope, not because everybody’s dead). And so I’ve been spending a lot of time anticipating my next gay encounter. The question is whether I should head back to the bathhouses or start visiting gay bars.

I find bathhouses appealing for several reasons. There’s a certain familiarity, in that I’ve already experienced that environment. And I like the anonymity and knowing everybody’s there for the same reason.

I also liked the absence of any pressure, other than what was in my own head. It was amazing to be among a bunch of near-naked men and not have anyone push my boundaries.

It’s obvious, however, that gay bars outnumber bathhouses. Perhaps that’s where my thinking should lead?

The problem is that I’ve never knowingly been in a gay bar, and the thought of trying to get picked up in that environment is a bit intimidating. Am I being silly? Am I overthinking?

I should note that I’m not looking for any long-term relationships. I just want to get fucked.

The govt really did a number with COVID, which was totally govt manufactured, just like AIDS...and no, it wasn't fucking "lab leak" it was a carefully orchestrated release that occurred almost simultaneously a multiple points on the globe. And there has NEVER been a vaccine. If that sounds crazy, well...I think it was the 9th Circuit Court that legally ruled it is not a vaccine as it has no effect on transmission. Besides, you cannot vaccinate against that type of thing - it's literally no different from that standpoint than the common cold and are there any vaccines for the common cold? No. Not trying to be pendantic, but just...I don't want to think of you waiting around for something that will never happen. Now, I hope this next thing makes you feel better but..precious few died of COVID. Seriously. Few. If you fear COVID? I have some very good suggestions, one in particular. This substance happens to be one of the most powerful antivirals on the planet, so works on COVID, Hep...and that thing is...CBD oil. Good CBD oil, no THC...doi: 10.3390/ijms23084170 and https://doi.org/10.1126/sciadv.abi6110 and other articles. And if you want an actual data-driven YouTube channel for all things COVID and beyond I highly recommend Dr. John Campbell, a U/K doctor/researcher. A bit dry because he's an actual scientist but....so am I so I find that style credible. And he's credible. I know he's looking at the correct data correctly. If you want to gain some interesting insights into the pandemic, just look at the entire African continent.

• DOI: 10.1007/s40429-020-00326-8
• DOI: 10.1007/s40429-020-00326-8
• DOI: 10.1007/s40429-020-00326-8

 

[write_or_wrong]

10 Commandments

As a top, I prefer bathhouses since the ratio of tops:bottoms always seemed to be in my favor.

Here are some of my tips:
1. Know your limits ahead of time and stick to them. It's easy to get caught up in the moment and do something you might regret later. If you feel like you're about to do something that crosses one of your limits, DON'T do it. You can always think about it after and reevaluate your limits for your next visit, but in-the-moment is NOT when you should be doing that.

2. Manage your expectations. Some nights will be busy and packed with hot guys. Some nights will be slow with no one you find attractive. Just be in the moment and willing to spend some time just relaxing naked. There is always a way to have a good time at a bathhouse without relying on the expectation of sex.

3. Walk around the place first. Get a feel for the layout, the themed areas, etc. Don't just "set up camp" at the first place you come to.

4. Be respectful... If someone is not giving you a green-light, or they act hesitant, back up. Let them know that you are interested, but leave it in their hands to accept the invitation. If so, then game on. If not, back off. The atmosphere of a bathhouse lives and dies on the attitudes of its patrons. Be a part of creating a positive environment and everyone will have a better time.

5. ...and expect respect. I have a "three strikes" rule when receiving unwarranted advances. Strike 1: I thank the person for their advance but tell them politely that I am not interested. Strike 2: I drop the formalities and tell them that if they do not respect my space, I will notify management. Strike 3: I get management involved.

6. Not everyone is for everyone. Don't take it personally if someone turns you down. My general response for being turned down is, "No problem. I hope you find someone you're into because you're hot AF." It leaves them with a compliment and doesn't create this air of negativity from a rejection.

7. Be friendly. A smile costs nothing. Just don't be overly flirty when you're being friendly and give off the wrong signals.

8. Be polite. If you run into someone because you're stumbling through the dark maze and can't see (guilty!), apologize. If you're in a crowded steamroom, make room for the new guy. And even if you just railed someone while calling them a "fucking faggot bitch slut", there's nothing that says you can't tell them thank you for the "ride" after you're done with them.

9. It's not just about sex. Sometimes it can be fun and erotic to just relax naked with other guys. Allow yourself to have "downtime" to relax, recharge, and get to know the other visitors.

10. Know when to talk and when to shut up. There is nothing wrong with talking about your limits with your partner BEFORE stuff goes down. Ask them what they're into, tell them what you like, and make sure that your wants are compatible. Rubber or raw? Recip or worship? Animalistic or passionate? etc.
Conversely, avoid triggering conversations in public spaces. No one wants to hear you talk about how the moon landing was fake while in the steam room. No. One.


I've written one so far, based upon my time at the Steamworks in Berkeley. Feel free to check it out. *shameless plug*

Thank you - good advice and well written.

 

[Sct73]

Never been to either. I live near saugatuck Michigan too lol

 

[SPARTAN047]

I only went to bath houses a couple of times because it seems you had to be naked or in towels, and I couldn't dress up feminine like I wanted. Naked is fine but I want to be in a little bikini first to tease everyone.

Gay bars might work but you can't screw in the bathrooms since the bouncers will come banging on the door. It inconveniences everybody.

There were trans clubs where you could openly have sex and they were great. Or adult stores.

 

[SPARTAN047]

10 Commandments

As a top, I prefer bathhouses since the ratio of tops:bottoms always seemed to be in my favor.

Here are some of my tips:
1. Know your limits ahead of time and stick to them. It's easy to get caught up in the moment and do something you might regret later. If you feel like you're about to do something that crosses one of your limits, DON'T do it. You can always think about it after and reevaluate your limits for your next visit, but in-the-moment is NOT when you should be doing that.

2. Manage your expectations. Some nights will be busy and packed with hot guys. Some nights will be slow with no one you find attractive. Just be in the moment and willing to spend some time just relaxing naked. There is always a way to have a good time at a bathhouse without relying on the expectation of sex.

3. Walk around the place first. Get a feel for the layout, the themed areas, etc. Don't just "set up camp" at the first place you come to.

4. Be respectful... If someone is not giving you a green-light, or they act hesitant, back up. Let them know that you are interested, but leave it in their hands to accept the invitation. If so, then game on. If not, back off. The atmosphere of a bathhouse lives and dies on the attitudes of its patrons. Be a part of creating a positive environment and everyone will have a better time.

5. ...and expect respect. I have a "three strikes" rule when receiving unwarranted advances. Strike 1: I thank the person for their advance but tell them politely that I am not interested. Strike 2: I drop the formalities and tell them that if they do not respect my space, I will notify management. Strike 3: I get management involved.

6. Not everyone is for everyone. Don't take it personally if someone turns you down. My general response for being turned down is, "No problem. I hope you find someone you're into because you're hot AF." It leaves them with a compliment and doesn't create this air of negativity from a rejection.

7. Be friendly. A smile costs nothing. Just don't be overly flirty when you're being friendly and give off the wrong signals.

8. Be polite. If you run into someone because you're stumbling through the dark maze and can't see (guilty!), apologize. If you're in a crowded steamroom, make room for the new guy. And even if you just railed someone while calling them a "fucking faggot bitch slut", there's nothing that says you can't tell them thank you for the "ride" after you're done with them.

9. It's not just about sex. Sometimes it can be fun and erotic to just relax naked with other guys. Allow yourself to have "downtime" to relax, recharge, and get to know the other visitors.

10. Know when to talk and when to shut up. There is nothing wrong with talking about your limits with your partner BEFORE stuff goes down. Ask them what they're into, tell them what you like, and make sure that your wants are compatible. Rubber or raw? Recip or worship? Animalistic or passionate? etc.
Conversely, avoid triggering conversations in public spaces. No one wants to hear you talk about how the moon landing was fake while in the steam room. No. One.


I've written one so far, based upon my time at the Steamworks in Berkeley. Feel free to check it out. *shameless plug*

Good, detailed and very gentlemanly advice.

I especially like the part about expecting reciprocation even when you respect others. I've met so many bottoms and submissives who were worse than bratty and disrespectful. They had to be kicked out too.