BDSM: Lifestyle or Sex?

[CarolineOh]

Never, I'm in love with you now.

And Caroline, I've always loved you.

Thank you, sweetie.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Oh, come on, Never. Don't play like that. We both know it happens to you all the time. (smile)

Yeah, she was meaning it was actually kinda slow

 

[Sandia]

Svedish:

Oh, I get it now... I shoulda realized that's what she meant.
D'oh!

 

[Sandia]

Thank you, sweetie.

So, uh, ya gonna leave that what's-his-name now?

Sandia.

 

[SubbieHubbie]

Wow, you guys ask some fascinating questions. Is sub/dom a part of my life or just sex? Well, yes. Heh. I tend to subordinate myself to my wife. And, when a friend needs something (particularly the listening ear/shoulder I have been oft called on for), I tend to drop what I'm doing, what I need, to be there for them. That said, at college, I'm one of the more academically inclined in every class I've been in and push myself forwards - I want the grades, I'll do whatever it takes. And show me any subbie who, on seeing their SO in an ER room, being virtually mauled by doctors and nurses who have no interest in the patients comfort, a subbie in that position who REMAINS a quiet subbie, and I'll show you someone who may need to consider that sometimes Safe, Sane and Consensual demands a more dominant role in life.

Friends and spouse, I tend to subordinate. School, health, protection, I tend to dominate. So, is submission part of my life, or just a sexual kink? I dunno. Am I a subbie, or a switch... or am I just a contradiction in myself? Heh, well, I tend to confuse a lot of people when they get to know me, so I'll go for option D.

 

[MLadyPain]

Edited to add: MLP, thank you for raising the question.

Sandia.

No prob

enjoying it too,
MLP

 

[catalina_francisco]

resurrection....oh I am so into that tonight..LOL....ANother from the vault which might be of interest to newer posters as well as older.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

It's scary to see such old posts of mine resurrected...and yet also interesting to see how my views have changed (or stayed the same).

 

[James G 5]

Curious as to how folks here see bdsm - as a lifestyle or kinky sex?

I consider myself a lifestyler - I'm open and out, my family and work knows, most of my social contacts are like minded folks, even my vanilla friends know (and accept or wouldn't be friends). I rarely have sex as part of a scene (hell, I rarely have sex - can count on both hands how many times in the last 3 years).

And to be honest, I used to look down a bit at folks who were into the "kinky sex" aspect. I was appalled that they still had such trival needs such as genital orgasms. BDSM, to me, was supposed to be mental, spiritual, psychological, and emotional.

BUT... I've come to realize, damn it - I really like sex and why can't it be a part of my bdsm life? Why am I feeling so guilty about wanting to be fucked after a good scene? Why won't I ask for some physical comfort during a scene? I'm not talking random encounters. I'd still reserve any sexual activity to partners with whom I'm somewhat "involved".

So... what is bdsm to you? a way of life? or wonderful kinky sex? both? thoughts? opinions?

MLP

I would just like to state that I think the thread originator needs to update portions of this post.....

 

[James G 5]

It's scary to see such old posts of mine resurrected...and yet also interesting to see how my views have changed (or stayed the same).

well don't leave us in suspense, how have they or have they in regards to this?

 

[Etoile]

well don't leave us in suspense, how have they or have they in regards to this?

My parents still don't know, but a few more of our friends know. I still don't have much experience with other relationships, because Daddy ("my top") and I are still together, but I have learned about having a scene without having sex. Most of our scenes wind up being sex, just because they turn us both on so much. My thoughts otherwise haven't really changed.

 

[James G 5]

My parents still don't know, but a few more of our friends know. I still don't have much experience with other relationships, because Daddy ("my top") and I are still together, but I have learned about having a scene without having sex. Most of our scenes wind up being sex, just because they turn us both on so much. My thoughts otherwise haven't really changed.

Yeah, I can't see getting you all naked & abusing you in devious ways without wanting to use you afterwards either



and I say that with the utmost respct!

 

[Etoile]

Yeah, I can't see getting you all naked & abusing you in devious ways without wanting to use you afterwards either



and I say that with the utmost respct!

Oh, wow. On a fantastic note like that, I'm going to bed - I have to be up in less than 5 hours. Would you mind if I added that to my sig, though?

 

[James G 5]

Oh, wow. On a fantastic note like that, I'm going to bed - I have to be up in less than 5 hours. Would you mind if I added that to my sig, though?

Go for it
Just credit me

 

[ownedsubgal]

D/s (different for us than bdsm) is very much our lives, who we are, and not merely our sex lives. Daddy's Dominant all the time, i'm submissive all of the time, our sexual lives just fit in with the rest of who we are. take the sex out of our lives completely, and yep we'd be some grumpy people, but we wouldn't be any less D/s.

 

[mellian]

personally, i would be more of a lifestyler. don't need sex to have BDSM play.

-mellian

...yes, i am new to this forum...

 

[Netzach]

I can have D/s without sex. I can have SM without sex.

But I tell you, having SM and D/s and sex with M makes everything else seem kind of professional and polite by comparison.

 

[catalina_francisco]

personally, i would be more of a lifestyler. don't need sex to have BDSM play.

-mellian

...yes, i am new to this forum...

Welcome to the forum and I hope we read a lot more from you and you enjoy.

I would personally say for us it is a lifestyle. D/s and S/M are both possible without sex, though often that is the end result of our S/M. D/s is what forms the fabric of our lives.

Catalina

 

[MLadyPain]

Re: Re: BDSM: Lifestyle or Sex?

I would just like to state that I think the thread originator needs to update portions of this post.....

Ya know... I don't even remember starting this thread LOL

So what has changed for me personally?
hmmm.... I don't feel guilty about mixing my sex & bdsm LOL
Laura

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Re: BDSM: Lifestyle or Sex?

Ya know... I don't even remember starting this thread LOL

So what has changed for me personally?
hmmm.... I don't feel guilty about mixing my sex & bdsm LOL
Laura

LOL, but guilt can be so much fun and inspiration.

Catalina

 

[James G 5]

Re: Re: Re: Re: BDSM: Lifestyle or Sex?

LOL, but guilt can be so much fun and inspiration.

Catalina

I'm all about no guilt
Unless it's for displeasing Me

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: BDSM: Lifestyle or Sex?

I'm all about no guilt
Unless it's for displeasing Me

...And who would dare do that pray tell?!!

Catalina

 

[MLadyPain]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: BDSM: Lifestyle or Sex?

I'm all about no guilt
Unless it's for displeasing Me

Gasp! Shudder! Clutch the pearls!
who would ever do a thing like that?

hehehe

 

[James G 5]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: BDSM: Lifestyle or Sex?

Gasp! Shudder! Clutch the pearls!
who would ever do a thing like that?

hehehe

Hmm
Let's see
Anything on my calendar Thursday night?
Why NO
Maybe a perfect time to go on a drive and beat someone's ass for smarting off...