I was drunk when I told most of my friends. You'd think I'd regret it in the morning but I didn't. They were actually fascinated and wanted to hear more. Except one girl, but that's because she didn't really get it ("Wait, if your nipples hurt why can't you just tell him to stop pinching them"). Which is strange because her biggest fantasy is being raped.
bdsm versus your 'real life' - coming out
- Thread starter petrel
- Start date
Bandit58
Sir's wonder woman
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2002
- Posts
- 8,121
I'm a bisexual submissive. My family don't know anything about that, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. They live in another country so it's not a problem 
However here in Australia I am well out of the closet! Master's friends know He is a notorious perv anyway and they know He is a Dom and I'm His sub, which makes for some interesting conversations
For instance the other week at the speedway I was having a bit of trouble sitting comfortably on the hard ground having had my first experience with a paddle a few days before - I told one of the ladies why I was so uncomfortable and she went up to Master and told Him He'd best refrain from paddling me before the next speedway meeting - this is in front of most of our friends!
They also know I am bi and both Master and I do quite a bit of looking at the "scenery" and point out nice looking ladies to each other
I even got asked how my "date" with another woman went a couple of weeks ago 
I have found it very freeing emotionally to be able to be myself with friends and have them be open minded and non-judgmental 
However here in Australia I am well out of the closet! Master's friends know He is a notorious perv anyway and they know He is a Dom and I'm His sub, which makes for some interesting conversations
For instance the other week at the speedway I was having a bit of trouble sitting comfortably on the hard ground having had my first experience with a paddle a few days before - I told one of the ladies why I was so uncomfortable and she went up to Master and told Him He'd best refrain from paddling me before the next speedway meeting - this is in front of most of our friends! They also know I am bi and both Master and I do quite a bit of looking at the "scenery" and point out nice looking ladies to each other
I even got asked how my "date" with another woman went a couple of weeks ago I have found it very freeing emotionally to be able to be myself with friends and have them be open minded and non-judgmental Bandit58 said:I'm a bisexual submissive. My family don't know anything about that, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. They live in another country so it's not a problem
However here in Australia I am well out of the closet! Master's friends know He is a notorious perv anyway and they know He is a Dom and I'm His sub, which makes for some interesting conversations
They also know I am bi and both Master and I do quite a bit of looking at the "scenery" and point out nice looking ladies to each other
That's really great.
Honestly, that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside. I'm very happy for you.
Xelebes
Little Blue Alien
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2003
- Posts
- 13,068
I don't open myself up to admit that I am a masochist unless it is part of the conversation. That is, when people bring up the conversation of self-mutilation (including simple things like tattoos and piercings) I bring it up because it lets others know what my perspective - or rather expanding perspective as the realisation is quite new. In other types of conversations - like say in the nightclub or a houseparty or a res party*, kink is quite prevalent in those situations and it is a more obvious situation to be more open with it.
Coming out with my family is a different thing. I have two siblings which I am open with and have discussed it. My younger sister - who I definitely now know is also a femsub/masochist if the opportunity arose was rather an easy issue as I learned of her days when she was a cutter and all that. I've also told my brother who I know is more sexually open than the rest of the family - we were on the discussion of the varying lifestyles he saw while living in Vancouver. For those not in the know, Vancouver is the Canadian version of San Francisco. Anyways, we started talking about strap-ons and there I told him about the stuff I was into. He scrunched his nose in disgust for a second at that thought and merely accepted it.
I have not been open with the rest of the family though as I know their reaction would not be desirable especially under present circumstances. Having eight people in a three bedroom house is not quite the best environment to be so open about things.
As for doctors and that sort of stuff - haven't seen a doctor since that "incident". I'll leave it at that as that was more than 2 years ago and I was not aware of the certain facets that I now know.
Footnotes:
* Res party = like a rave in a warehouse but rather it is a cafe that is transformed into a dancefloor type dealie, usually playing music that is too hard for the rave party.
Coming out with my family is a different thing. I have two siblings which I am open with and have discussed it. My younger sister - who I definitely now know is also a femsub/masochist if the opportunity arose was rather an easy issue as I learned of her days when she was a cutter and all that. I've also told my brother who I know is more sexually open than the rest of the family - we were on the discussion of the varying lifestyles he saw while living in Vancouver. For those not in the know, Vancouver is the Canadian version of San Francisco. Anyways, we started talking about strap-ons and there I told him about the stuff I was into. He scrunched his nose in disgust for a second at that thought and merely accepted it.
I have not been open with the rest of the family though as I know their reaction would not be desirable especially under present circumstances. Having eight people in a three bedroom house is not quite the best environment to be so open about things.
As for doctors and that sort of stuff - haven't seen a doctor since that "incident". I'll leave it at that as that was more than 2 years ago and I was not aware of the certain facets that I now know.
Footnotes:
* Res party = like a rave in a warehouse but rather it is a cafe that is transformed into a dancefloor type dealie, usually playing music that is too hard for the rave party.
SexxyDevil69
Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2005
- Posts
- 57
having a BDSM lifestyle is like being homosexual in a way because you are alwayz afriad that you will get shot down and that people will say that you are gross and ect but in my opinion you should not hide who you are because then you wont be you in front of others...Now i can understand it if you dont want complete strangers to know about your lifestyle but if you have friends/family that you trust and wish to share this with then tell them and if they say that you are gross, ect then they were never really your friend and you just have to move on and not let them or anyone else put you down or make you feel ashamed...Just remember that no one can put you down or make you feel like shit unless you let them do it to you
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