BDSM & Violence

[catalina_francisco]

So you add a shibari and a blood dripping....

Your not helping

LOL, be grateful I didn't add the black and blue butt with purple stripes. Hoping to do some cutting this weekend so I might have something new to add if he takes pics.

Catalina

 

[RJMasters]

LOL, be grateful I didn't add the black and blue butt with purple stripes. Hoping to do some cutting this weekend so I might have something new to add if he takes pics.

Catalina

sweet talker you... grinz.

 

[neonflux]

I was talking one of my online chat buddies the other night and she was floored to find out that I was into bdsm. During the course of the conversation, she said she had always associated bdsm with violence, specifically rape. She was open minded and intrigued by the thought of giving up control to a PYL.

As we continued the conversation, I put out the idea bdsm could be loving and considered foreplay.

So this thread was started for her and hopefully after a few posts she'll come out of hiding and pick up the conversation.

The question is for PYLs and pyls alike is what about bdsm does it for you?

She did open up an account on Lit and lurked around a bit.

Thanks in advance for the responses,

Chris

Yes, BDSM can be loving, and gentle - I consider myself a "gentle Top" in many ways, and as I've said before, my sadism also brings out in me some very nurturing and protective feelings - I fall in love a little with everyone I Top. However, I would be fooling myself if I didn't also admit to the violence in what I do. Yes, it's controlled, yes, I hope it builds up the person I'm Topping, but ultimately, it is also very much about my channeling some very dark and violent desires in a consensual manner.

When I bottom, I could say that it's only about the sensation play, the feeling of well-being I get from the endorphin rush that the pain brings, but again, I would be fooling myself. There is also a rush in withstanding the violence that is done to me, of moving through it and allowing it to move through me, of surviving it and coming out stronger because of it.

*shrug* Had to put it out there.

Neon

P.S., Interesting side-note: I was never abused as a child (except for one minor half-our incident with the older brother of a didn't-become-my-friend-because-of-it-neighbor), but I have been aware of these darker desires - particularly the sadistic ones - since I was about 8 or 9 years old. Sense that I am not the only one in these parts for whom that is the case.

P.P.S., daring question, Chris...

 

[Andraste]

there are lots of people who are interested in bdsm, but have been convinced by society that it's sick, abusive and wrong.

i don't find it at all odd that, once they realise "normal" people like it, they'd feel more open about admitting {including to themselves} their interests.

kinda arsy to leap on them for that, because so many of the bdsm crowd had that moral struggle before they discovered themselves.

...

violent?
well that's up to the sub, not the dom.
the sub sets the limits that s/he is willing to go to.
it might never go further than following a few kinky orders, or it might turn into the full on whips & clips deal...but it's only ever what the sub has consented to.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

pain sluts .....rape scene?

i like it

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I think the most important thing for a newly interested person to fully comprehend is that subs are not enduring pain and sex acts that others find degrading out of some kind of twisted desire to genuinely suffer. In being willingly spanked, flogged and voilently violated we are getting precisely what we want because we enjoy it so damn much.

The people who read this stuff and gasp, "but how can you let him do that to you?" and "How can you love someone who treats you like that?" or "How can you hurt someone you love?" are missing completely this fundamental point.

For me it's been there since childhood and is something that I could no longer contemplate a relationship without. I think that a lot of people experiment with it a little these days, even if it's just to be certain that it's not for them. It's not considered shocking to get out a blindfold, handcuffs, ice cubes or a 10 inch dildo. A lot of people get a taste of BDSM without even realising it. It's not all whips and chains. It's trust, an exchange of some degree of power and a little experimentation.

Of course, for some of us jaded kinksters 'a little experimentation' now means getting out a carving knife. It's all a journey.

 

[Netzach]

there are lots of people who are interested in bdsm, but have been convinced by society that it's sick, abusive and wrong.

i don't find it at all odd that, once they realise "normal" people like it, they'd feel more open about admitting {including to themselves} their interests.

kinda arsy to leap on them for that, because so many of the bdsm crowd had that moral struggle before they discovered themselves.

...

I agree with this - for some people non-consent and roughness has always been "oh, pick me!" appealing, but for a lot of other people the reassurance of the mechanics of negotiation and consent is what even opens the mental avenue of hotness - the idea of physically violent(?) sex wasn't OK with me or appealing or glamorous to me without having the inner workings laid out. There's nothing clueless about being clueless to something that's really only superficially presented most of the time.

 

[RJMasters]

Hoping to do some cutting this weekend so I might have something new to add if he takes pics.
Catalina

Joins in the hoping. Bump

 

[SubKekiLee]

I think the most important thing for a newly interested person to fully comprehend is that subs are not enduring pain and sex acts that others find degrading out of some kind of twisted desire to genuinely suffer. In being willingly spanked, flogged and voilently violated we are getting precisely what we want because we enjoy it so damn much.

The people who read this stuff and gasp, "but how can you let him do that to you?" and "How can you love someone who treats you like that?" or "How can you hurt someone you love?" are missing completely this fundamental point.

For me it's been there since childhood and is something that I could no longer contemplate a relationship without. I think that a lot of people experiment with it a little these days, even if it's just to be certain that it's not for them. It's not considered shocking to get out a blindfold, handcuffs, ice cubes or a 10 inch dildo. A lot of people get a taste of BDSM without even realising it. It's not all whips and chains. It's trust, an exchange of some degree of power and a little experimentation.

Of course, for some of us jaded kinksters 'a little experimentation' now means getting out a carving knife. It's all a journey.

I agree with you 100% Velvet Darkness... I know I am always afraid to tell the rest of my family the things I enjoy so I hide them and I bet if I said something they would tell me something along the lines about what you said... YOU are 100% right..