Be as boring as possible.

Upon reading the earlier posts about kiwis, I realized for as many of them as I have eaten I really didn't know much about them. After mere seconds of browsing this is what I found and then learned about the kiwi. (The fruit variety, not the human one...just to be clear.)

Even though it has a larger size and an outer skin with fuzz, the kiwi fruit is really a berry. Chinese khans in ancient days used to consider the kiwi to be an aphrodisiac. Kiwis aren't bothered by very many irritants, so crops don't require much pest control. Kiwi pickers in California wear cotton gloves so they don't bruise the kiwis.

The original name of the kiwi was the Chinese Gooseberry. It was originally grown in China, over seven hundred years ago. Later on, it was introduced to New Zealand, and then California. California kiwi were first grown in about 1960. The average kiwi fruit is about three inches long, and weighs about 2.5 ounces. Nearly ten percent of kiwi grown in California are grown organically.

The vines of the kiwi are deciduous. They will remain dormant from November until March, and the foliage falls off, which makes the pruners' job easier. All of the pruning on a kiwi plant is done by hand. New leaves start coming out in March. The canes of the dormant kiwifruit are great for flower arrangements.

Kiwis grow like grapes, on shrubs like vines, which are trained to grow on trellises. Their height ranges from five and a half feet to six feet. The vines of the kiwifruit drink in water in the summertime. Each vine drinks about forty one gallons of water a day, in the growing season. Kiwi fruit continue to grow after they are picked. It will ripen as it heads off to the sales markets.

The kiwifruit was originally found in Northern China, in the Yangtze River valley. Missionaries took seeds to New Zealand in their travels, at the turn of the century. It became a popular plant there, and several vines were sent to California. Those very vines are still growing in the Chico Plant Introduction Station. Kiwi are also grown for resale in areas like Chile, South Africa and Italy.

The kiwi plant needs a relatively long growing season, including at least two hundred and forty days without frost. Therefore, there are many areas in the United States where it is not possible to grow them. When the kiwi vine is in its dormant stage, in the winter, it can withstand temperatures as low as 10 degrees F. But they need to be acclimated to the cold slowly, not hit with it all at once. If a sudden and deep freeze hits, the freezing may cause the vines to split, and the plant will die.


And for anyone who might be curious, I found these facts here .
 
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Shhhhh! I've been trying to subliminally convince her that she needs to move away from Kiwi land, where the men are more interested in sheep than lovely women, and come settle in a country full of horndogs who will treat her right. After all, really... five sexual encounters in the last three years??? WTF is *wrong* with those men?

I can't imagine guys over there would be any different. For some reason the only guys that hit on me are guys in relationships. "oh yeah we can't go back to my place because of the Missus and kids" goes down like a cup of cold sick and they sure as hell are not coming back to my place and I also refuse to pay for a hotel room.

Although over the last few years I have made a bit of money as we run a betting book as to when the guy will admit that he has a partner. It is known as the curse of K :( I have gotten it down to been able to predict within a weeks timeframe.
 
I had an unassisted orgasm today, April 17, 2012. Ejaculatory onset occurred at 16:22:09.4362 UTC and included 11 observable seminal emissive contractions over a duration of 13.81 seconds. (Note: Precision loss is due to automatic switch to secondary clock when primary timing system short-circuited by initial seminal emission). The orgasm progressed through non-emissive micro-contractions, tapering logarithmically over a period of 38.2 seconds, when three consecutive rectal accelerometer readings of zero indicated transition into the refractory phase. Volumetric discharge was estimated at 7.5 ml, with a margin of error of +/- 0.5 ml. Indoor ejecta range: 0 to 93 cm with scatter angle of 0.850 radians. Viscosity and pH data will be available by PM request, after the lab work has been verified. Trend analysis suggests my next orgasm is most likely to occur within 16:23:44 hours of this posting, although this projection is intended for informational purposes only. Please, no wagering.
 
I paid my state income tax bill today. That's $48 that will never buy condoms - at least not that I'll get to use.
 
I had an unassisted orgasm today, April 17, 2012. Ejaculatory onset occurred at 16:22:09.4362 UTC and included 11 observable seminal emissive contractions over a duration of 13.81 seconds. (Note: Precision loss is due to automatic switch to secondary clock when primary timing system short-circuited by initial seminal emission). The orgasm progressed through non-emissive micro-contractions, tapering logarithmically over a period of 38.2 seconds, when three consecutive rectal accelerometer readings of zero indicated transition into the refractory phase. Volumetric discharge was estimated at 7.5 ml, with a margin of error of +/- 0.5 ml. Indoor ejecta range: 0 to 93 cm with scatter angle of 0.850 radians. Viscosity and pH data will be available by PM request, after the lab work has been verified. Trend analysis suggests my next orgasm is most likely to occur within 16:23:44 hours of this posting, although this projection is intended for informational purposes only. Please, no wagering.

Can I ask about your "primary timing system" and how it short-circuited?
 
I read the instruction manual for the phone at work. I thought it was okay. Then I recorded my voicemail message 22 times, because I wanted it to be just right, with sincerity and warmth, but also authority and a touch of bravado:"Leave me a message." Now, goddamit.
 
Upon reading the earlier posts about kiwis, I realized for as many of them as I have eaten I really didn't know much about them. After mere seconds of browsing this is what I found and then learned about the kiwi. (The fruit variety, not the human one...just to be clear.)

Even though it has a larger size and an outer skin with fuzz, the kiwi fruit is really a berry. Chinese khans in ancient days used to consider the kiwi to be an aphrodisiac. Kiwis aren't bothered by very many irritants, so crops don't require much pest control. Kiwi pickers in California wear cotton gloves so they don't bruise the kiwis.

The original name of the kiwi was the Chinese Gooseberry. It was originally grown in China, over seven hundred years ago. Later on, it was introduced to New Zealand, and then California. California kiwi were first grown in about 1960. The average kiwi fruit is about three inches long, and weighs about 2.5 ounces. Nearly ten percent of kiwi grown in California are grown organically.

The vines of the kiwi are deciduous. They will remain dormant from November until March, and the foliage falls off, which makes the pruners' job easier. All of the pruning on a kiwi plant is done by hand. New leaves start coming out in March. The canes of the dormant kiwifruit are great for flower arrangements.

Kiwis grow like grapes, on shrubs like vines, which are trained to grow on trellises. Their height ranges from five and a half feet to six feet. The vines of the kiwifruit drink in water in the summertime. Each vine drinks about forty one gallons of water a day, in the growing season. Kiwi fruit continue to grow after they are picked. It will ripen as it heads off to the sales markets.

The kiwifruit was originally found in Northern China, in the Yangtze River valley. Missionaries took seeds to New Zealand in their travels, at the turn of the century. It became a popular plant there, and several vines were sent to California. Those very vines are still growing in the Chico Plant Introduction Station. Kiwi are also grown for resale in areas like Chile, South Africa and Italy.

The kiwi plant needs a relatively long growing season, including at least two hundred and forty days without frost. Therefore, there are many areas in the United States where it is not possible to grow them. When the kiwi vine is in its dormant stage, in the winter, it can withstand temperatures as low as 10 degrees F. But they need to be acclimated to the cold slowly, not hit with it all at once. If a sudden and deep freeze hits, the freezing may cause the vines to split, and the plant will die.


And for anyone who might be curious, I found these facts here .

I'm so boring that I couldn't even come up with my own boring thought but this one should suffice.
 
And for anyone who might be curious, I found these facts here .

This is a comedy gold mine. Thank you. :D

Jenny Styles seems to have forged a niche for herself writing authoritatively, but sincerely, with a touch of warmth and bravado, about the most boring topics imaginable.

"Llama Facts You Might Want to Know" bores even the latent Asbergers preschooler in me.

"Important Facts About Meningitis Rash" holds potential, but only when paired with her shocking expose, "Wedding Doves Add Romance to the Most Important Day."

I have to tell you, though, "Impotence Causes - There May Be More Help Than You Know" was a bit more titillating (if you read between the lines) than I can handle. Rawrr.

Thanks again, Cali. I will surely sleep better tonight knowing what fish eat. :rose:
 
I paid my state income tax bill today. That's $48 that will never buy condoms - at least not that I'll get to use.

Depending on which state you live in, they may be used to roll over bananas to teach kids how not to have babies in the classroom. Not the most exciting life for a condom, but perhaps worthwhile.
 
This is a comedy gold mine. Thank you. :D

Jenny Styles seems to have forged a niche for herself writing authoritatively, but sincerely, with a touch of warmth and bravado, about the most boring topics imaginable.

"Llama Facts You Might Want to Know" bores even the latent Asbergers preschooler in me.

"Important Facts About Meningitis Rash" holds potential, but only when paired with her shocking expose, "Wedding Doves Add Romance to the Most Important Day."

I have to tell you, though, "Impotence Causes - There May Be More Help Than You Know" was a bit more titillating (if you read between the lines) than I can handle. Rawrr.

Thanks again, Cali. I will surely sleep better tonight knowing what fish eat. :rose:

She is wonderful.. isn't she? I am happy to know that I was able to help. :)

~

Maybe it borders on the line of being interesting, but I had to share that I learned today that when we are born we have 300 bones, but by the time we are an adult we only have 206.
 
Depending on which state you live in, they may be used to roll over bananas to teach kids how not to have babies in the classroom. Not the most exciting life for a condom, but perhaps worthwhile.

I would hope that such might be the case but I can report that none of my children ever came home from school to tell that they saw a condom on a banana that day. Yes, I realize that failure to report such things could be explained away rather easily with reference to early-teen "eww factor" but I doubt it in these cases.

Today, I walked to get coffee. Like just about every other day.
 
A recipe from Paula Deen for English Peas:

Ingredients
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
2 cans (14 1/2-ounces) English peas, drained

Directions
Melt the butter in small pot and add the peas. Cook over medium heat until peas are warm.
 
A recipe from Paula Deen for English Peas:

Ingredients
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
2 cans (14 1/2-ounces) English peas, drained

Directions
Melt the butter in small pot and add the peas. Cook over medium heat until peas are warm.

All we are saying is give peas a chance.
 
I bought one of those smart buy type mega bags of calrose rice today. I pulled the string with the arrow as the label suggested, but it did not work, so i took a risk and decided to pull the string from the other end of the bag. It worked just fine and now my large rice bag is open so that I can cook some rice. I like rice.
 
Basmati > All

Last time started talking about rice to someone in a store it ended with a half dozen people listening in and taking notes.
 
I telephoned my insurance company to pay the balance of my monthly premium following the cancellation of my car insurance policy - but they told me they had already taken the money from my account by Direct Debit.

That saved me from having to read out the long number from the front of my card.
 
I wonder why train stations have such boring names. I wonder this every morning as I pass them on my way to work and the nasally voice tells me which station we just passed and I also wonder the same thing on the way home.
 
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