Begging

[Peter2002]

Of course begging doesn't come naturally...

At least for most. That's the joy and that's the fun. I have a hard time taking begging out of the bedroom or out of an erotic context as seriously as some might. (But then again, "erotic" is a rather elastic concept.) Beggin for a spanking to stop is a classic turn on, but pleading might be more intense

But on a more serious note, it is -- as as has been pointed out -- a training tool. And like so many training exercises can take on a life and significance of it's own. It's a mtter of the interaction between the dom and the sub.

Ultimately -- for me, at least -- it is in the tone of voice. It's a matter of sincerity. And sincerity is often not achieved over night. So what if there are a few giggles along the way. (That's nothing a firm hand can't address.) It is like so many things the jouney that matters as much as the destination.

 

[FungiUg]

It's funny, but I'm starting to get the opinion that some submissives feel guilty for asking or begging for something they want.

In fact, I know for me having a submissive ask or beg for something is flattering... and a reminder of the control over herself she has given to me. Just by asking me, she is acknowledging that she doesn't have control.

So why is it a submissive feels guilty or too shy to ask? Opinions?

 

[Netzach]

Want something? Heavens no, I should only want the things Mistress wants, and be content with that, and if I want something that might be counter to what she wants...well that would be....bad. So I shall shut up and say yes Ma'am if spoken to and all will be fine.

'Course it's been six hours and I really have to pee. Is that ok? I wonder....

 

[FungiUg]

Too cute, Netzach.

I guess it does depend on the desires of the dominant. If the dominant wants someone to do exactly as he or she orders with no comments, and no volunteering information, and no questions and no prompts... well, fine. And I know there are situations where that occurs.

 

[il mio angelo]

It's funny, but I'm starting to get the opinion that some submissives feel guilty for asking or begging for something they want.

In fact, I know for me having a submissive ask or beg for something is flattering... and a reminder of the control over herself she has given to me. Just by asking me, she is acknowledging that she doesn't have control.

So why is it a submissive feels guilty or too shy to ask? Opinions?

I think that in my case, I just feel that if I am asking for something, then it means that my submission is coming at a price. That I am essentially saying "Yes, I want to please You, but first can You do this for me......." Much of it too comes from being shy, though the people that know me best my laugh hysterically at that.

If it is something specific, like "Sir, I am very aroused, will You play with me?" I just feel as if he may not want to.. and though I know that he would simply say no if he didn't, the thought of it almost feels a bit selfish. I guess from what I am reading here I am wrong, but that is my motivation, or lack there of it, for not begging or asking for what I want.

 

[Arden]

Begging is good... I only wish I had more opportunity to practice it.

 

[FungiUg]

I think that in my case, I just feel that if I am asking for something, then it means that my submission is coming at a price. That I am essentially saying "Yes, I want to please You, but first can You do this for me......." Much of it too comes from being shy, though the people that know me best my laugh hysterically at that.

Me, I don't see it that way. It's more like the submissive is giving herself to me, including her desires, wants and needs. And by asking, she is communicating what she wants, but reinforcing my right to control whether she gets what she wants.

So I guess I need a submissive to be willing to give herself to me, including the control over her desires.

If it is something specific, like "Sir, I am very aroused, will You play with me?" I just feel as if he may not want to.. and though I know that he would simply say no if he didn't, the thought of it almost feels a bit selfish. I guess from what I am reading here I am wrong, but that is my motivation, or lack there of it, for not begging or asking for what I want.

Well, you always take the risk of your dominant deciding he doesn't want to give you what you want. But isn't that part of the submission? Opening yourself up, making the gift of your desires, with the understanding that he (or she) will use you as he sees fit.

On the other hand, if you never ask... then you may never receive. And certainly you're dominant may never really have a good idea of what direction your desires lead you in, and what boundaries to explore.

On top of all this, there's my insistence that a submissive MUST offer herself to me. I won't just take a woman -- I insist she make a gift of herself to me. That way I am certain it is what she wants, and that she wants my attention... I think it's an ego thing.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Urgency

Begging shows an urgency that I like. It is really exciting to have a (male) sub beg sincerely for something he may not get anyway.

In My world begging and getting are not synonymous.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Urgency

Begging shows an urgency that I like. It is really exciting to have a (male) sub beg sincerely for something he may not get anyway.

In My world begging and getting are not synonymous.

Awwww...you should have told us that before your begging worked on Master!! On second thoughts, maybe not.

C

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Urgency

Awwww...you should have told us that before your begging worked on Master!! On second thoughts, maybe not.

C

I doubt if my begging had any impact on your Master. He probably already had decided what his course of action would be.

I can say that cause, I am the same way. I usually know what my plans are before My sub begs. I do enjoy the show though. And I can tell My sub enjoys providing the show for My benefit.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Begging vs Asking

My subs have the freedom for ask anything when they have been given permission to speak.

In My vanilla relationship, asking is a two way street. We both ask what what we want and need to know of each other.

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

The simple fact is to me the words aren't what is important, tis the expression and the way it is said, I love it when she is so desperate to come she will cry, the pure and simple utter pleading from her.

If you are desperate enough you will beg, and beg very convincingly, tis very simple, until then you don't really mean it. Merely my humble opinion but....I am of course correct