Being a woman in geek culture

[Primalex]

As a woman who was introduced to geek culture while still wearing diapers, I feel frustrated that my "geek cred" has been questioned simply due to my gender.

What are your thoughts about this?

A woman will never be a boy scout.

 

[KoPilot]

"Pass me that Bechtdel's head screwdriver would you?"

I would kill for a product with that name

I don't care what it does. I want it in my bag.

 

[Keroin]

Yes, I was at CON this year. It was great! Had a blast. We did our thing, our game, panel and workshops are predominately women, by the way. I highly recommend it and if you do decide to go or have any questions, let me know.

Cool! I am going to sit down and figure out a schedule/budget for 2014. I'll probably be limited to 2-3 max per year until we sell our movie rights and make millions of dollars!

Hold on...have to catch my breath...laughing too hard.

The only bad thing was my friends and I got groped coming out of the Worship the Goddess party on Saturday night, but I did serious damage to the guy's hand.
It was very crowded, we had to walk up some steps through wall to wall people, I heard friend 1 yelp, and then friend 2, so I put my hands where I thought he might go, waited until he grabbed me and twisted his fingers one way, and wrist the other. Friend 1 says should we report this?, the guy screams, friend 2 says no I think Noor took care of it. I did report it but there were so many people I didn't know exactly who did it though there was a guy who kept hiding his hands when I went by on Sunday.

Good for you but, still...blerg.

I should be at the second year of Meta con at the end of the month. I be just attending and not working it which will be cool! Steam Power Giraffe is playing and doing panels so I am psyched! It is put on by anime types, though not an anime con, and I am uncertain about the sex ratios. I went to it last year for a day and attended their date auction which was hilarious and not sexist at all.

Awesome possum! Have fun.

Side note: My niece is a mega cosplayer and her stuff is eyepopping. (She did a few years in design school). She goes to a bunch of cons so I'm looking forward to the day we're both at the same one.

Sure, women are in danger sometimes, but I get sick of the trope the same way I get sick of gratuitous shower scenes.

Oh yeah. Shower scenes are still a thing. Blech.

That's one of the things we're playing with in the current mss. (Not showers scenes). Two cultures (from different worlds), one that's very much "Save the womens!" and the other that's scratching their heads wondering what makes women so special. Good fun.

For decades and decades of popular culture, there were no strong women who chewed gum kicked ass and named names, there were only damsels in distress, nagging antagonists, loyal mothers, and wise helpmeets behind the thrones.

I don't think there are many strong women who kick ass and take names in popular entertainment, even still. They do have weaknesses. Buffy had weaknesses and flaws. It was exhilarating to see, just once, a Girl Clint Eastwood. It hasn't been done again. It's like; "Okay, we checked off one feminist request, are we good?"

Preaching to the choir. And believe me, I intend to write lots of kick ass, gum chewing female characters. But if choose not to, I want my choice to be respected. It's kind of like the whole "How can a pyl women be a feminist" argument, right? It's about getting to that point where we have to freedom to say "This is what makes ME happy, the end".

Now, this is not the same as writing damsels in distress to please our misogynistic overlords. That's one of the cool aspects of indie publishing. I don't have to answer to what the market demands. I can make my own fucking market.

Joss Whedon is feminist in his own way, not in any universal way. Fuck knows what he was doing with Dollhouse, although I have an inkling of where he wated to go with it-- but it didn't serve as entertainment for the women who were hoping for more woman-led plot, not in the form he was presenting it. But men get the contracts. Women not so much.

What's strange is I remember reading an interview with him before the series came out and he was so excited because he'd written it specifically for the lead actress. He raved about her acting skills and how she was going to knock this out of the park and blah blah blah. So I was excited. And then it came out and... WHAT. IS. THIS???

He sure can't blame that mess on the network sabotaging him.

 

[KoPilot]

Preaching to the choir. And believe me, I intend to write lots of kick ass, gum chewing female characters. But if choose not to, I want my choice to be respected. It's kind of like the whole "How can a pyl women be a feminist" argument, right? It's about getting to that point where we have to freedom to say "This is what makes ME happy, the end".

Now, this is not the same as writing damsels in distress to please our misogynistic overlords. That's one of the cool aspects of indie publishing. I don't have to answer to what the market demands. I can make my own fucking market.

This is where I'm at, really. I make the stories that I want to read. And me being able to exercise my agency in the storytelling world is A Good Thing. Even if two chicks never end up talking to each other.

But the part that makes this easy is, again, the indie portion. It gets uglier and more political, in all the ways, once you're dependent on a publisher or studio and someone else's dime to get your stuff made. But I'm a liberal pinko, so I can say that the big companies can go fuck themselves anyways. If they want to throw money at me, then fine, but it's still gotta be on my terms.

 

[Noor]

I you.

Cool! My 3rd I you of the day!

hugs!

Is it just my violent nature?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Preaching to the choir. And believe me, I intend to write lots of kick ass, gum chewing female characters. But if choose not to, I want my choice to be respected. It's kind of like the whole "How can a pyl women be a feminist" argument, right? It's about getting to that point where we have to freedom to say "This is what makes ME happy, the end".

Of course a pyl can be written from a feminist viewpoint.

Even a damsel in distress can be written from a feminist viewpoint, only... you'd fighting against a couple hundred years of damsels in distress that have chewed up the real estate. Makes it harder.

 

[hotncold0101]

You all out-geek me. I thought that I was a geek, but maybe not. Maybe I just don't get out often enough, or maybe I'm just an old guy. A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman. I'm usually the last to know. Well, you all give me hope of finding a compatible woman. You make me smile.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You all out-geek me. I thought that I was a geek, but maybe not. Maybe I just don't get out often enough, or maybe I'm just an old guy. A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman. I'm usually the last to know. Well, you all give me hope of finding a compatible woman. You make me smile.

Umm...

Should I laugh with you, or at you?

 

[Recidiva]

Oh yeah. Shower scenes are still a thing. Blech.

That's one of the things we're playing with in the current mss. (Not showers scenes). Two cultures (from different worlds), one that's very much "Save the womens!" and the other that's scratching their heads wondering what makes women so special. Good fun.

There's a line from Heinlein when Job meets a group of higher beings (possibly Angels)

He wants a razor so he can look presentable. He explains. They say "Well, why don't you stop growing hair on your face." (in essence, I didn't look up the quote)

Although as a science-based geek I don't think that we're going to contact alien life and be able to communicate with it verbally (let's try talking to cats first, something on our planet...and I'm not talking with lasers) I think it's very, very fun to use the idea to introduce new cultures and viewpoints.

From the outside many conflicts look like a bunch of people that are 95% the same arguing over the other 5%...and possibly killing each other over it.

For myself I feel I am giving the height of wisdom by saying something to Palestine and Israel "Well...why don't you guys try not killing each other for a while." Thus exhibiting my complete ignorance and also the only thing I have to contribute to the argument with any meaning to me personally. When I'm human I'm an idiot, if I'm an alien life form...it looks like ethereal wisdom from a highly evolved culture.

Fiction is awesome.

 

[Recidiva]

You all out-geek me. I thought that I was a geek, but maybe not. Maybe I just don't get out often enough, or maybe I'm just an old guy. A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman. I'm usually the last to know. Well, you all give me hope of finding a compatible woman. You make me smile.

I have +5 to geek. I found my geek man. There is hope.

I'm really hoping that we're passing the cultural norm of women pretending to be dumb. I'm waiting for the cultural norm where a woman can be anything she damned well wants to be and it doesn't elicit comment of anything out of the ordinary in the sense that it's women doing that thing and not men.

Same way I'm rooting for the male gynecological nurse. You go, boy.

 

[Recidiva]

Star Trek Alien Communication Humor:

Hoshi: I was hoping it was another one of his practical jokes. Travis called me down to decon a few weeks ago. Said that he brought some kind of gelantinous lifeform aboard. He said it might be sentient and that the Captain needed me to figure out how to communicate with it.
Phlox: Hmm. I don't recall that.
Hoshi: It was no lifeform. It was only strawberry gelatin. Told him I was going to get him back.

 

[KoPilot]

You all out-geek me. I thought that I was a geek, but maybe not. Maybe I just don't get out often enough, or maybe I'm just an old guy. A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman. I'm usually the last to know. Well, you all give me hope of finding a compatible woman. You make me smile.

Not a woman.

And putting "frustrated" next to "sexy" is the kind of stuff we've been talking about since page 1.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Not a woman.

And putting "frustrated" next to "sexy" is the kind of stuff we've been talking about since page 1.

I know, right? And he means so well!

 

[KoPilot]

I know, right? And he means so well!

At least I get to go to sleep tonight, safe in the knowledge that the idea of my existence (not my actual existence) makes an old, lonely nerd happy.

 

[Recidiva]

At least I get to go to sleep tonight, safe in the knowledge that the idea of my existence (not my actual existence) makes an old, lonely nerd happy.

*busts into giggles*

 

[BiBunny]

You all out-geek me. I thought that I was a geek, but maybe not. Maybe I just don't get out often enough, or maybe I'm just an old guy. A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman. I'm usually the last to know. Well, you all give me hope of finding a compatible woman. You make me smile.

Ew...

 

[Recidiva]

You all out-geek me. I thought that I was a geek, but maybe not. Maybe I just don't get out often enough, or maybe I'm just an old guy. A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman. I'm usually the last to know. Well, you all give me hope of finding a compatible woman. You make me smile.

Okay. Parsing for the possibly confused and possibly lurking, terrified to respond.

If You Speak Man: "You all out-geek me." (I assume the submissive position, temporarily)
"I thought that I was a geek, but maybe not." (I have no idea who I am)
"Maybe I just don't get out often enough, or maybe I'm just an old guy"
(probably into daddy fantasies)
"A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman." (I would be happy to have sex
with any of you. I'll settle, and the frustrated part might pay off)
"I'm usually the last to know." (I'm so harmless!)
"Well, you all give me hope of finding a compatible woman." (But while I'm
waiting...sex?)
"You make me smile" (Having established I'm older and wiser, anybody,
sex?)

If You Speak Woman: "You all out-geek me." (neutral compliment, self deprecating)
"I thought that I was a geek, but maybe not." (Will you be my mommy?)
"Maybe I just don't get out often enough, or maybe I'm just an old guy"
(ask me how old, maybe I could be your daddy)
"A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman." (I would be happy to have
sex with any of you. I'll settle, and the frustrated part might pay off)
"I'm usually the last to know." ( I won't fuck and tell)
"Well, you all give me hope of finding a compatible woman." (Awww,
look, he's lonely.)
"You make me smile" (In context, and on the whole, I feel the need to
shower.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well parsed, Diva!

Although this one parses differently if you speak trans*;

"A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman."

As Ko Pilot pointed out, they are not a woman... Sometimes I'm not either...

BTW "sexy" is in the eye of the beholder, 'sexual" is an embodiment. I'm often willing to give an old guy a pass on that one, because I know that nobody ever told them-- or at least, they can't remember no matter how many times anybody tells them.

 

[BiBunny]

It's the "frustrated" part that gets me.

"Irritated with bullshit" =/= Sexual frustration, AKA "Dick would make it better"

 

[Recidiva]

It's the "frustrated" part that gets me.

"Irritated with bullshit" =/= Sexual frustration, AKA "Dick would make it better"

Oh, I know. It would be hard to pack so few statements with such either inadvertent or intentional subtext if you tried.

And had he actually...read...the thread instead of skimmed the words "woman" and "geek" and just took his best shot...clearly not accustomed to context.

 

[Recidiva]

Well parsed, Diva!

Although this one parses differently if you speak trans*;

"A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman."

As Ko Pilot pointed out, they are not a woman... Sometimes I'm not either...

BTW "sexy" is in the eye of the beholder, 'sexual" is an embodiment. I'm often willing to give an old guy a pass on that one, because I know that nobody ever told them-- or at least, they can't remember no matter how many times anybody tells them.

I would not attempt to speak trans as I am completely unqualified.

I know I specifically stated in this thread that jumping straight past "hello, who are you, how are you" to "Damn, girl! You got boobs and I LIKE boobs." is an intrusion in pretty much any context and just leads to incredibly short conversations.

Although at a few cast parties some gay guys would comment on my breasts from the other side of the room as introduction. "DAMN, Girl. Where'd you get them thangs?" and I found that kinda endearing. But then they'd actually have a real conversation and that was just the ice breaker. Not the lead in to "Are those boobs taken? Yes? Then I have no further use for you, you are dismissed from my consciousness except in perhaps a grudging manner or in future wank material."

 

[Stella_Omega]

I would not attempt to speak trans as I am completely unqualified.

I know I specifically stated in this thread that jumping straight past "hello, who are you, how are you" to "Damn, girl! You got boobs and I LIKE boobs." is an intrusion in pretty much any context and just leads to incredibly short conversations.

Although at a few cast parties some gay guys would comment on my breasts from the other side of the room as introduction. "DAMN, Girl. Where'd you get them thangs?" and I found that kinda endearing. But then they'd actually have a real conversation and that was just the ice breaker. Not the lead in to "Are those boobs taken? Yes? Then I have no further use for you, you are dismissed from my consciousness except in perhaps a grudging manner or in future wank material."

Ahahaha yep all of that.

 

[BiBunny]

Ahahaha yep all of that.

Gay men get a pass. I'm not sure why, but their obsession with boobs is adorable, rather than obnoxious and/or creepy.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Gay men get a pass. I'm not sure why, but their obsession with boobs is adorable, rather than obnoxious and/or creepy.

Actually, sometimes they don't. And sometimes it stops being adorable and is indeed creepy.

Don't you get tired of being life support for a pair of tits?

 

[KoPilot]

Well parsed, Diva!

Although this one parses differently if you speak trans*;

"A bunch of frustrated, sexy geeky woman."

As Ko Pilot pointed out, they are not a woman... Sometimes I'm not either...

BTW "sexy" is in the eye of the beholder, 'sexual" is an embodiment. I'm often willing to give an old guy a pass on that one, because I know that nobody ever told them-- or at least, they can't remember no matter how many times anybody tells them.

I mean, part of what I feel my "sex" to be is N/A; a really nice, expensive sex toy that I can let someone reeeaaally special use (because shit, you wouldn't just let anyone drive your Ferrari), but ultimately as impotent and inconsequential to the rest of my... everything.

And even then, even when my bodily gender is defined in the moments that things are put in holes, the variations on "my dick will solve all your problems" is the most infantile and moronic attempt at a compliment? I will ever hear.