Being a woman in geek culture

[satindesire]

Ohh this thread makes me smile! I live in a house with three huge geek/gaming nerd boys who sometimes like to put me down when I try to engage them in conversation about games, sci fi and tech, I know I don't have to prove myself to anybody but really!

First off: You don't. Point out that they're being sexist jerks and if they want to see more female geeks, they need to actually GASP...be female-friendly!

They don't have to prove themselves to you, do they? It's not your place to try and convince their own arbitrary set of rules that you're "nerdy enough" to be in "their space".

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/11/nerds-and-male-privilege/

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/07/26/who-gets-to-be-a-geek-anyone-who-wants-to-be/

Stand up for yourself! There are thousands of nerdy women out here that will support you and educate you and give you all the resources you'd ever need. Stick around, we might be able to show you a few things to say to your sexist buddies.

 

[MissVianne]

First off: You don't. Point out that they're being sexist jerks and if they want to see more female geeks, they need to actually GASP...be female-friendly!

They don't have to prove themselves to you, do they? It's not your place to try and convince their own arbitrary set of rules that you're "nerdy enough" to be in "their space".

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/11/nerds-and-male-privilege/

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/07/26/who-gets-to-be-a-geek-anyone-who-wants-to-be/

Until you yourself remove the idea that you have to "prove" your geek cred, and call ANYONE out who even tries that shit with you, things can't change. Stand up for yourself! There are thousands of nerdy women out here that will support you and educate you and give you all the resources you'd ever need. Stick around, we might be able to show you a few things to say to your sexist buddies.

Hehe! I absolutely know who I am and what I like and I most certainly don't let them bring me down. It is annoying sure, and standing up for myself is no problem, I like that there are supportive people out there and that we know that this is not necessarily a battle of who knows more than who but putting the sexist dummies in their place!

I love this thread already!

 

[Stella_Omega]

A friend of mine went to this wonderful tech event;
http://blogs.kqed.org/science/2013/09/06/theres-no-google-glass-ceiling-for-these-women-hackers/

She came home buzzing with happiness!

 

[bluemono]

First off: You don't. Point out that they're being sexist jerks and if they want to see more female geeks, they need to actually GASP...be female-friendly!

They don't have to prove themselves to you, do they? It's not your place to try and convince their own arbitrary set of rules that you're "nerdy enough" to be in "their space".

http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/11/nerds-and-male-privilege/

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/07/26/who-gets-to-be-a-geek-anyone-who-wants-to-be/

Stand up for yourself! There are thousands of nerdy women out here that will support you and educate you and give you all the resources you'd ever need. Stick around, we might be able to show you a few things to say to your sexist buddies.

thanks for the links. I have experienced similar situations as the ones described in the first link before and it sucks. I hate going into comic book stores unless they are big business ones where there's enough people. Small ones always have a clan of "regulars" there that seem more unfriendly or likely to judge for whatever reason.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I don't have much experience with geek culture, per se. I've never had time, or been in the right place at the right time.

Twenty-five to 30 years ago, I was at the forefront of the technological revolution in teaching, though, bringing computers into the classroom and putting students' hands on (and occasionally in) them, both male and female. I felt that my female students were generally quicker to adapt to the changes, and more adept with the new concepts.

Wife #3 got me involved in Single-Action Shooting Society (SASS), a celebration of the 19th century Western gun culture, and its activities, which include "cosplay" of a sort, since participants are expected to dress in period clothing (or a decent approximation thereof). Of the 50 or so members of the group we played with most often, the women (about 15 of them) were almost invariably the "best-dressed" participants, and several of them were consistent placers (top three to five scorers) in the shooting competitions. While SASS isn't quite geek culture, it *is* in its own way, somewhat like SCA, RenFairs, etc., and I *never once* saw anyone diss one of the women for their participation - in fact, I often saw macho men deep in conversation with some of the women, asking advice on better presenting themselves in costume, and occasionally advice on scoring better in shooting events, especially with pistol. The only place I really saw a significant portion of the women at a competitive disadvantage was with 12-gauge shotguns, which have a healthy kick, and that was with women who didn't pull the butt of the shotgun deep into their shoulders. Once they learned that and made it automatic, their disadvantage disappeared (and yes, some men had the same disadvantage until *they* learned to do it right!).



Also, while this isn't *directly* related to women in geek culture, I can't help but think it might help a little bit over the next generation.

 

[Stella_Omega]

yeah, there is a difference between people who live inside their own heads and people who live outside.

Even the event that I just linked to-- some dude showed up at it, as it turns out, and when a woman asked him why he was there he said that there was NO ESCAPING FROM THE REALITIES OF LIFE and that meant men could be there. And he tried to dominate the Q&A, trying to answer questions before any (female) body could. When (the same) woman asked him why he was at a woman's event, he said, "yeah my girlfriend is with me, and she's wearing the goggles, see?" The same woman said OMG why are you even talking?

He's since joined the online group, saying he was so happy he'd been so accepted. That was his interpretation of nobody beating him up outright, I suppose.

ETA, ah-- no, he said he was happy the women had been so attentive to him.

 

[bluekitsune]

I've actually been fairly lucky in regards to being a geek girl. I would hazard that that's mostly since I fall under the book and gaming categories (with some anime on the side), rather than the comics one, which seems to be a bit more.....enthusiastic? To put it politely.

Either way, my friends and clubs that I've joined up with in college never really "questioned" my geek card. About the most I've had to worry about is being one of only 2 or 3 girls, if not the only one, at the meetings, and thus getting interest from most of the guys. At least they were always nice about it and not pushy.

I think about the only/worst time I've gotten commented on for being a girl was when I was picking up Demons' Souls at my local gamestop. The clerks (nicely, at least) questioned whether I was sure I wanted it.

Of course, off the top of my head I would say some of the most antagonistic venues for girls would be fps' and mmo's, neither of which I have much interest in, so there you go.

 

[satindesire]

I've actually been fairly lucky in regards to being a geek girl. I would hazard that that's mostly since I fall under the book and gaming categories (with some anime on the side), rather than the comics one, which seems to be a bit more.....enthusiastic? To put it politely.

Either way, my friends and clubs that I've joined up with in college never really "questioned" my geek card. About the most I've had to worry about is being one of only 2 or 3 girls, if not the only one, at the meetings, and thus getting interest from most of the guys. At least they were always nice about it and not pushy.

I think about the only/worst time I've gotten commented on for being a girl was when I was picking up Demons' Souls at my local gamestop. The clerks (nicely, at least) questioned whether I was sure I wanted it.

Of course, off the top of my head I would say some of the most antagonistic venues for girls would be fps' and mmo's, neither of which I have much interest in, so there you go.

Console FPS games seems to be, right now, the worst place to be a female geek. Although a close second would possibly be Con's/Cosplay and MMOs.

 

[bluekitsune]

Console FPS games seems to be, right now, the worst place to be a female geek. Although a close second would possibly be Con's/Cosplay and MMOs.

I'd debate that slightly on the cons/cosplay bit. If we're just talking attention, then sure, but I've never really seen that many degrading comments or antagonization in general. Granted, I've only been to a few (and it's been a while), but a lot of my friends go to them regularly.

 

[satindesire]

I'd debate that slightly on the cons/cosplay bit. If we're just talking attention, then sure, but I've never really seen that many degrading comments or antagonization in general. Granted, I've only been to a few (and it's been a while), but a lot of my friends go to them regularly.

The reason I say that is because the risks and bad things that happen (Getting groped, for instance) are much higher than when you're just at home playing on your XBOX.

 

[bluekitsune]

The reason I say that is because the risks and bad things that happen (Getting groped, for instance) are much higher than when you're just at home playing on your XBOX.

Ah, ok, I gotcha. Yeah, that falls under what I meant by "attention", so we're in agreement. I'm just glad I never really had to deal with that, for whatever reason.

 

[Techchickuk]

Console FPS games seems to be, right now, the worst place to be a female geek. Although a close second would possibly be Con's/Cosplay and MMOs.

Well, the best place to be a female geek is to work in IT. Been doing it for almost 20 years (ok, child labour -lol)! And you know what I say to any guy who thinks girls shouldn't be geeks?

'Go tell that to my accountant'. Ha ha ha ha!

Girls bring a huge set of different skills to IT that guys don't have which are *complementary* not *competing*. And they don't (iIMHO) eat pizza at 3:00am.

 

[Recidiva]

Well, the best place to be a female geek is to work in IT. Been doing it for almost 20 years (ok, child labour -lol)! And you know what I say to any guy who thinks girls shouldn't be geeks?

'Go tell that to my accountant'. Ha ha ha ha!

Girls bring a huge set of different skills to IT that guys don't have which are *complementary* not *competing*. And they don't (iIMHO) eat pizza at 3:00am.

Well, let's not be hasty. I have eaten pizza at 3 am, I'm sure of it.

I don't have a pee jar though.

 

[Techchickuk]

Well, let's not be hasty. I have eaten pizza at 3 am, I'm sure of it.

I don't have a pee jar though.

Don't like cold pizza :-(

 

[Recidiva]

Don't like cold pizza :-(

Well that's just weird. But I like weird, so no harm, no foul. More for me.

 

[Loverskitten]

I haven't had the time to keep up with the discussion but I can pop in here with a sweet girl win from time to time

 

[Noor]

I haven't had the time to keep up with the discussion but I can pop in here with a sweet girl win from time to time

Just the meme I was thinking of!

 

[satindesire]

Wow, that's AWESOME!

 

[gagginforit]

Well, let's not be hasty. I have eaten pizza at 3 am, I'm sure of it.

I don't have a pee jar though.

I would totally be sick if I did that.

 

[Recidiva]

I would totally be sick if I did that.

Pizza at 3 am or the pee jar?

 

[KoPilot]

Pizza at 3 am or the pee jar?

For me, probably the pizza... it would be pretty guaranteed to stir up my GERD at that hour.

 

[Recidiva]

For me, probably the pizza... it would be pretty guaranteed to stir up my GERD at that hour.

My stomach doesn't care much about time.

I remember a friend of mine in college, when I went to go visit him at his dorm, all he had was leftover barbecue ribs from last night's restaurant outing and a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream.

That was my breakfast. He was grossed out and I was like..."What?"

 

[satindesire]

My stomach doesn't care much about time.

I remember a friend of mine in college, when I went to go visit him at his dorm, all he had was leftover barbecue ribs from last night's restaurant outing and a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream.

That was my breakfast. He was grossed out and I was like..."What?"

Cold pizza for breakfast is a family thing here.

http://manboobz.com/2013/09/10/pick...ce-laws-are-a-crime-against-nature/#more-9852

"So apparently domestic violence laws are a crime against nature. Who knew?

Well, the repellent “game” guru and all-around human stain Roosh Valizadeh knows, or thinks he knows, and he devoted a long and strange post yesterday to explaining just why."

 

[gagginforit]

Pizza at 3 am or the pee jar?

Pizza although the pee jar would probably do it to.

After my late twenties eating anything other than toast after 8:00pm was a good way to get sick. It's a shame because I used to enjoy a late night sausage fest, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Before that I was like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, I could eat anything.

So now when I'm hungry at night I nibble toast and sip tea like some old dude.

 

[KoPilot]

Pizza although the pee jar would probably do it to.

After my late twenties eating anything other than toast after 8:00pm was a good way to get sick. It's a shame because I used to enjoy a late night sausage fest, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Before that I was like Shaggy from Scooby Doo, I could eat anything.

So now when I'm hungry at night I nibble toast and sip tea like some old dude.

Same.

Told S that I did not like feeling like I was twice my age after being prescribed Prilosec.

GI problems will make LAN parties that much less enjoyable, but... at least I can still enjoy them.