Being a woman in geek culture

[satindesire]

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/soci...-back-against-rape-threats-contacting-mothers

When I read this the first time I think I scared my cat from squealing so loud.

 

[MeekMe]

I never thought I'd witness such disturbing behavior so close to me. Today, a FB friend posted a link to a video of her on twitch with guys commenting about how ugly she is and that she'd be considered lucky to be raped by one of them. I've never felt so angry in my life. She asked that the video be reported to have it removed. We'll see what happens...

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Happy birthday, Satin!

Hope it's a great one.

 

[Apollo Wilde]

I responded to one of (several) articles flying about when it came to girls in geek culture a while back.

The Article in question:

http://www.newstatesman.com/laurie-penny/on-nerd-entitlement-rebel-alliance-empire

And my response:

"I stumbled across this piece this morning, and much to my surprise, found that it covered pretty much most of my issues when it comes to the opposite sex.
Back in my day, being a "nerd" was synonymous with being intelligent (not so much anymore. Let's call a spade a spade), and being a nerd girl was one of the worst things ever. No one wanted you - especially not the nerd guys. And this isn't even pulling the elephant in the room (race) into the mix.

Let's just say that being a nerdy black girl then (and now) isn't exactly an enviable position, even with "nerd culture" becoming cool and trendy. (but without all of the stuff that made it a niche culture to begin with. There's been a real dumbing down / backlash against intellectualism/specialization for the last few years, but that is another story for another day).

Black cosplayers get racist vitriol thrown their way, and even in the smaller nerd black cultures, there's still a ton of division that race / culture further complicates. Just because black nerds are more "common" now doesn't mean that we all automatically have a safe place / peers; let alone have a bigger dating pool.

While I don't agree with all points the author makes, the fact that she was willing to share her personal struggle without making excuses or shying away from it, I applaud. I have a hard time talking these things because I'm met with a constant sense of disbelief, which belittles the story and undercuts it with a sense of, "It can't possibly be true," when, really, why would I lie about this stuff? If I'm going to lie, you'd think I'd lie about how I was the hottest thing ever and everyone loves me and Karl Urban has my number on speed dial."

I still pretty much find most of this to be true. There is an added element of race when it comes to nerd-ery, and without dating myself too much (oh, to hell with it), what being a nerd means has changed within the last, what, 10, 15 years?

A niche culture has essentially moved to mainstream, and I think people are hurriedly trying to redefine what a "nerd" means. And whenever there's that kind of upheaval, people tend to flip their collective shit.

I've had a few conversations where I have to give the side-eye or bust out Star Wars Expanded Universe minutia to "solidify" my nerd standing, but on the same hand, I don't really feel the pressure to do so. It's more of a, "FAAAACCCCEEEE" thing than, "Oh my god, I have to prove myself." I'm like, "Bitch, my Nightwing T-shirt does all the speaking for me."

 

[satindesire]

"These incidents aren’t related, but their proximity isn’t an accident either. They are heads of the same hydra living underneath the murky waters of the “weird Internet.” Pick-up artists, hackers, gamers, men’s rights activists, and just flat-out trolls are all part of a culture that has been growing in the background; no one seems to know what to do with them. And their attacks are becoming more frequent and more alarming.

This “manosphere”—for lack of a better word—is a cluster of men who feel ostracized and angry. Their sandbox is closing, and they are terrorizing everyone outside of it.
The ‘suffering nerd’ is dead

“Nerds,” as people have come to identify themselves, simply don’t exist anymore. We live in a world where 27 million people gather to watch an international video game tournament, where the third-highest-selling movie of all time is based on The Avengers comic books, and 6 million people tuned in to watch Game of Thrones. The concept of the suffering, ostracized nerd is quickly losing relevance.

Mainstream social networks like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram don’t have much need or want for a core group of fanatical male power users. It’s simply bad business. These tech companies have made it clear they’re focused on finding and keeping new users. They want to become bigger, which means the adolescent white male influence on the Internet becomes more and more irrelevant—which will make their anger that much louder and more dangerous, at least in the short term.

Reddit is really the last unapologetic mainstream website that lets its male users completely dictate its culture. It’s home to one of the largest pick-up artist communities online. It still has a section dedicated to the ideology that inspired Elliot Rodger’s killing spree. It was the birthplace of the men’s rights movement and a central hub for Gamergate. The traffic Reddit generated from the Fappening made the site enough money to run its servers for a month."

kernelmag.dailydot.com/issue-sections/headline-story/11843/angry-white-male-internet/

*Polite snip*

I've had a few conversations where I have to give the side-eye or bust out Star Wars Expanded Universe minutia to "solidify" my nerd standing, but on the same hand, I don't really feel the pressure to do so. It's more of a, "FAAAACCCCEEEE" thing than, "Oh my god, I have to prove myself." I'm like, "Bitch, my Nightwing T-shirt does all the speaking for me."

This to me is another serious example of why it's so important for us to not get mixed up in White Feminism, and really make sure white and white passing cisgendered men and women take a step back and support POC and transgender people in Intersectional Feminism instead of allowing our voices to drown theirs out. I have a hard time absorbing that racism is still such a problem today when it feels like we have made such great strides in almost all other forms of social injustice.

And honestly, I am SO sick of white people saying they're "Tired of hearing about racism." Asshole, imagine how tiring it is to LIVE IN IT.

 

[Apollo Wilde]

Equally polite snip!

This to me is another serious example of why it's so important for us to not get mixed up in White Feminism, and really make sure white and white passing cisgendered men and women take a step back and support POC and transgender people in Intersectional Feminism instead of allowing our voices to drown theirs out. I have a hard time absorbing that racism is still such a problem today when it feels like we have made such great strides in almost all other forms of social injustice.

And honestly, I am SO sick of white people saying they're "Tired of hearing about racism." Asshole, imagine how tiring it is to LIVE IN IT.

It's rare to see effective intersectionality on the internet - people still stick to their own corners and what they know, unfortunately. It becomes a, "MY PROBLEM TRUMPS YOURS" hallway, and unfortunately the loudest voices are taken to speak for all. It's clearly not the case, but people also seem to be uncomfortable with having those frank discussions as well.

I didn't think of racism as that much of an issue until I moved to my present location. I've had so many backhanded compliments and been asked flat out tactless comments (I keep a list of my favorites, including: "You like to swim? I thought black people didn't like water!" and, "Do you wash your hair?" - I have dreadlocks. :/). On a good day I try to remind myself it's because this town is so segregated, but on a bad day I question why I left the house.

 

[satindesire]

It's rare to see effective intersectionality on the internet - people still stick to their own corners and what they know, unfortunately. It becomes a, "MY PROBLEM TRUMPS YOURS" hallway, and unfortunately the loudest voices are taken to speak for all. It's clearly not the case, but people also seem to be uncomfortable with having those frank discussions as well.

I didn't think of racism as that much of an issue until I moved to my present location. I've had so many backhanded compliments and been asked flat out tactless comments (I keep a list of my favorites, including: "You like to swim? I thought black people didn't like water!" and, "Do you wash your hair?" - I have dreadlocks. :/). On a good day I try to remind myself it's because this town is so segregated, but on a bad day I question why I left the house.

Oh Holy Shit.

I definitely feel you when you talk about racism-by-location. We live in the South, which is NOT what anyone could call "tolerant".

I pass as white, so I see zero racism. My father saw plenty as a nearly full blooded Choctaw man, and my husband sees a LOT because he's a dark skinned, curly haired half-Latino, half-Middle Eastern brown man that people think of as "ethnically ambiguous". I've seen him get hassled by cops, pulled over numerous times for no reason, followed while in stores, it's maddening. He's so used to it and numb to it that it's just the background radiation of bullshit in his life.

I have a lot of angst about it because I know our kids are going to see the same shit he did and my dad did. And Mister and I have had serious conversations about legally changing our last name so that he and our kids can have better job opportunities because out last name is obviously ethnic. And what kind of world is it that parents have to have that talk?

 

[Apollo Wilde]

Oh Holy Shit.

I definitely feel you when you talk about racism-by-location. We live in the South, which is NOT what anyone could call "tolerant".

I pass as white, so I see zero racism. My father saw plenty as a nearly full blooded Choctaw man, and my husband sees a LOT because he's a dark skinned, curly haired half-Latino, half-Middle Eastern brown man that people think of as "ethnically ambiguous". I've seen him get hassled by cops, pulled over numerous times for no reason, followed while in stores, it's maddening. He's so used to it and numb to it that it's just the background radiation of bullshit in his life.

I have a lot of angst about it because I know our kids are going to see the same shit he did and my dad did. And Mister and I have had serious conversations about legally changing our last name so that he and our kids can have better job opportunities because out last name is obviously ethnic. And what kind of world is it that parents have to have that talk?

Girl -

You don't have to change anything. Although I understand the desire to want to - I don't feel comfortable with the idea of raising bi-racial children here simply because of the lack of diversity. My home town is a cultural melting pot (yes, it's in Texas too!) and I took so much for granted there. If I have to stay here, I'd consider moving back home to spawn. Like a salmon.

People are going to be assholes to anyone that's different. The only way to get through it is to have pride in yourself and who you are. If I'd listened to the assholes on the street, I would have cut off my beautiful dreads and gone back to a lifeless perm or wearing a wig. Seriously. We are who we are, and the world is going to have to deal with it. Acceptance may be slow, but I don't think it's ever going to happen if people hide.

 

[satindesire]

Girl -

You don't have to change anything. Although I understand the desire to want to - I don't feel comfortable with the idea of raising bi-racial children here simply because of the lack of diversity. My home town is a cultural melting pot (yes, it's in Texas too!) and I took so much for granted there. If I have to stay here, I'd consider moving back home to spawn. Like a salmon.

People are going to be assholes to anyone that's different. The only way to get through it is to have pride in yourself and who you are. If I'd listened to the assholes on the street, I would have cut off my beautiful dreads and gone back to a lifeless perm or wearing a wig. Seriously. We are who we are, and the world is going to have to deal with it. Acceptance may be slow, but I don't think it's ever going to happen if people hide.

I keep telling that to myself, too. That if we DO change our names and I slather sunscreen on my kids obsessively worrying that their tan will give them away, what kind of mother am I going to be to them? Showing them to be ashamed of their heritage? Of who they are? Christ, I saw enough crap from my grandfather because of being half Native, he HATED the fact that he had Native blood and that my mother was marrying a brown man. I stopped talking to him when I was 13, I got sick of him calling me ugly because I got "too dark" in the summertime. He hated my dad because we lived on the reservation when I was little. He hated my dad's long hair and the fact that he took me to Pow Wows. If it wasn't "white" it wasn't good enough. And I know that he rejected his own heritage and my dad's because he was scared and angry....but it wasn't right subjecting his daughter and granddaughter to the kind of pain that scarred him. And I can't do that to my kids. Even a little. Even if "my heart is in the right place". I can't hide who they are. Shit, even admitting this publicly I feel like I'm a terrible mother.

I can't do that to my kids, I'm just terrified of them coming home some day crying because someone called them a racist name or treated them differently. And it'll happen, I know it will. And what can I even say to them as a woman who passes as white in adulthood? Am I even qualified to advise them? Have I been removed from that for so long, will I even be able to empathize with them properly? American culture is SO racist, EVERYONE absorbs racist cultural prejudices and thoughts, we're born into it, we take it in like air the moment we're alive. I fight every day, constantly reminding myself to watch what I say and think, constantly working towards Intersectional Feminist goals. But I'm honestly worried that the only person that'll be able to really understand that is their Daddy.

I'm terrified that I won't ever be able to soothe that kind of pain. I just feel like as a parent no matter how long I will be a parent you can't ever be prepared for that, especially since I haven't experienced any kind of racism since I was a child.

 

[Apollo Wilde]

I don't want to sound like a geo-social elitist... perhaps i'm more of a common ignoramus, but... why stay? I know racism remains a problem across america, but why choose to live in the areas it's known to be worst? Is this learned helplessness; like the test animal who lays down on the electrical plate and whimpers through the pain even though he can move off of it, simply because he couldn't move off of it before? Is there some other tie there that makes it impossible to leave? The invisible ties of underemployment?

It's always baffled me, even though I've seen similar forces at work in my own life, albeit more subtly and for lower stakes.

I know big moves are terrifying; we did one recently, and may have to do another shortly.

I'm going to cut myself off here.

There’s a bunch of different ways to approach this, and I’m thinking of the best way to do it without getting overly emotional. If your PMs are off for a reason, maybe you should reconsider how you address people.

I assume you’re asking because you’re genuinely curious, but your phrasing reeks of having preconceived notions of what people can and can’t do, or that the notion of sticking your ground is futile/foolish. It comes off as wholly condescending, and I thought I would point that out to you. So, if you're honestly curious and open to learning, it doesn't come across like that at all.

There are a myriad of reasons why people stay in situations that, to an outsider, seem toxic. Addressing living situations – not every place on the world is “known” to be racist. Some places that have a liberal reputation don't always end up that way. It takes LIVING somewhere to actually get a good grasp of what the town/city is like.

Again, there is the STEREOTYPE that the American South is, on a whole, more racist than the North. I was born and raised here, visited a bunch of different places, and every place has its own racial and cultural quirks. I can be considered "exotic" in one locale, and as an non-entity in another.

Insofar as the South being the only racist place in America, I’ve got quite a few historical documents and anecdotes that disproves that. There is subtle racism and overt racism. There are microaggressions. There are things that people ask because they don’t have enough sense/experience to know that it’s a tactless thing to ask. There is ignorance.

If you’re coming from an environment where you are used to a certain privilege because of your race or gender, it’s hard to believe that the world doesn’t work the same way for the rest of us. That these are things that no matter where we live, we have to deal with. And there are many different ways of dealing with it - depends on the person. But knowing that you WILL have to deal with it at least prepares you.

There is no reason why I should leave where I live because certain people can’t understand how my hair works or think of me as inferior because of my skin color. The world is growing smaller by the day, and America’s a melting pot. They’re going to have to get used to it.

No, I don’t like where I live because it’s not as diverse as where I’m originally from. No, I probably wouldn’t raise biracial children here either – hence I mentioned that I would more than likely move should that ever come up. I’m here, and people are going to have to get used to the fact that I am black, educated, and have dreadlocks, and therefore do not fit any of their preconceived notions of how the world may work, or what a black woman, or hell, black people, SHOULD be.

For an example - my partner is a white man. He's from a lower class family (because class affects this as much as color does), and he has overtly racist family members whom I've met. Should I say, "Oh, okay, nevermind, then" because they can't handle the fact I'm black? Walk away from what makes me happy because it's a little harder than a traditional relationship? Because that's partially what you're inferring. I could date someone else. I could move somewhere else and just stay in my own little bubble and everyone goes their own way. But that's not how the world works. That's not how growing and learning works. And I'd be less of a person to bow down to someone else's bloody issues.

Some people are open to this, others react violently because how they have always viewed the world is suddenly called into question. The world is not colorblind, and going so far as to say, "Oh, I don't see color" is problematic for a myriad of reasons.

However, if I'm in a position where I can spare my child some BS (which my parents did for me), I'll take it. If you note, again, my response hinged on my saying I didn't like my town's LACK of diversity. Before you infer that I solely meant, "I need to only be around other black people", I'll correct you there. I need to be in a veritable melting pot - people of all races and creeds. That's what I had in my hometown.

 

[KoPilot]

I don't want to sound like a geo-social elitist... perhaps i'm more of a common ignoramus, but... why stay? I know racism remains a problem across america, but why choose to live in the areas it's known to be worst? Is this learned helplessness; like the test animal who lays down on the electrical plate and whimpers through the pain even though he can move off of it, simply because he couldn't move off of it before? Is there some other tie there that makes it impossible to leave? The invisible ties of underemployment?

It's always baffled me, even though I've seen similar forces at work in my own life, albeit more subtly and for lower stakes.

I know big moves are terrifying; we did one recently, and may have to do another shortly.

I'm going to cut myself off here.

Yeah Stag, just... don't.

There's a million and one reasons why someone can't "just move". And yes, racism is everywhere. The microagressions are only one on a list of things you'd have to be running away from.

Please don't get defensive if you've never actually lived the reality of being affected first-hand by racism. You really have no horse in this race except winning by being "helpful".

 

[Apollo Wilde]

Here's a palate cleanser -

A crybaby seal learning how to swim:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L7VJl76i9U

 

[satindesire]

Satindesire is very good at finding articles that describe what's upsetting her at the moment. I don't always do more than skim those articles, but I do follow those links.

That's really what I was hoping for, not some anecdote I can argue against or tell you how to fix. If it were easy to fix, someone much smarter than me would have figured out how to make money fixing it already.

Racism is common in Western Culture. It's sadly common almost everywhere in the entire world. Honestly, where would you suggest I move to?

The only place I can think of that wouldn't have an issue would be like...the moon? I think? And as far as I know there's no infrastructure for me to live there. So I have to deal with it.

Plus, I don't know what kind of financial situation you live in, but like most people today that live in America, I'm pretty poor. There's no shame in admitting it. It's hard when most of your income is a paltry student's allowance. My husband is in school right now trying to make us NOT poor in the future. But we can't afford to move to....wherever this magical land of non-racism is supposed to be.

Please don't mistake my tone, I consider you a pretty good guy and a friend and I'm not trying to be condescending or sarcastic so if I sound like I'm being it now, I'm genuinely sorry and not trying to be at all.

That being said, honey, please understand that there's no escaping racism in America today. Even if we had the money to move anywhere in America we wanted to, we'd still have to deal with it.

Honestly, there's so much more to racism than a dude in a pointy white hood burning crosses on black folks' yards.

http://www.ifyouonlynews.com/racism...nt-have-to-hate-people-of-color-to-be-racist/

You don't have to be overtly racist to be racist. Racism is more than just hating POC. And unfortunately, systematic racism is built right into the fabric of Western culture, capitalism for instance is born and bred of racism.

http://www.bolshevik.org/1917/no12/no12capitalismandracism.html

 

[satindesire]

Maybe I'm projecting, but you just sound tired.

No, you're not projecting at all. To be honest with you, I've recently had one helluva bad experience with a couple of people here on Lit bringing a witch hunt down on me for my Feminist beliefs, calling me horrible names and insulting me for weeks on end. I left the site for months trying to escape it because it wouldn't stop. Putting them on ignore didn't work, the followed me everywhere. It was disgusting.

The only thing that brought me back was a PM I got from a person who witnessed this witch hunt to let me know it was over.

Ever since then I've been on pins and needles making sure that NO ONE mistakes me for being arrogant, condescending, or insulting. To be honest with you, that's not my normal style of communication. I'm usually pretty direct without worrying about whether or not that directness is insulting people because emotionally mature adults generally tend to understand and appreciate normal adult communication.

However, I'm so gunshy about that witch hunt and terrified of ANY of my posts being used against me, so now when I'm talking about anything that could be used against me (ala LOOK HOW RUDE AND BITCHY THIS UGLY DELUSIONAL FEMINAZI IS!!!) I'm putting in disclaimers to make the readers know that I'm not, in fact, being rude and bitchy.

Even though 99% of the time I'm pretty sure the actual person I'm talking to doesn't need that sort of hand-holding, this is an insurance policy against future burnings at the stake.

And it's fucking exhausting.

 

[satindesire]

I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences here. Some of that may have happened during my down season? I don't know... I'm a little less seasonal than I once was, but there are definitely parts of the year still that I read more & post less.

I'm glad you are back.

I could go back to the threads and look at their timestamps but I really, REALLY REALLY don't want to read any of it again. It was in mid 2014 I believe.

 

[midwestyankee]

<snip>

Ever since then I've been on pins and needles making sure that NO ONE mistakes me for being arrogant, condescending, or insulting. To be honest with you, that's not my normal style of communication. I'm usually pretty direct without worrying about whether or not that directness is insulting people because emotionally mature adults generally tend to understand and appreciate normal adult communication.

If I may just insert a quick note here: Satin, you have a lot of good reasons to display a little arrogance here and there and to be a bit insulting now and again. Somebody has to call the game the way it's being played, after all. I'd like you a whole lot less if you didn't stand up for yourself strongly the way you usually do.

Okay, you can all go back to your regular discussion.

 

[Primalex]

http://www.bolshevik.org/1917/no12/no12capitalismandracism.html

"It is hard for most people to accept that racial prejudice and antagonism, pervasive phenomena of modern life, have not been permanent features of human society. Yet the very concept of "race," and the ideology and practice of racism are relatively modern."

LOL

Already Aristotle declared non-Greeks as inferior and therefore as "natural" slave race, that was 350 B.C.

The text also uses "slaves as spoils of war" as proof that there was no racism, as every race would be enslaved, completely ignoring that slaves also existed outside spoils of war and there it was based on foreign descent. Again, this is something that was already discussed 350 B.C. by philosophers, so it was such a widespread problem that people had the urge to think and write about it.

When I read that linked text, I can imagine how Bill Nye must feel, when he reads a text why the evolution theory is wrong.

 

[KoPilot]

LOL

Already Aristotle declared non-Greeks as inferior and therefore as "natural" slave race, that was 350 B.C.

The text also uses "slaves as spoils of war" as proof that there was no racism, as every race would be enslaved, completely ignoring that slaves also existed outside spoils of war and there it was based on foreign descent. Again, this is something that was already discussed 350 B.C. by philosophers, so it was such a widespread problem that people had the urge to think and write about it.

When I read that linked text, I can imagine how Bill Nye must feel, when he reads a text why the evolution theory is wrong.

There was no "Greek race" you fuckwit. It was a geographic, linguistic, and religious distinction. Ancient Greeks came in every color.

Race was invented to justify the West African slave trade after the invention of what we might call modern banking and capitalism by the Dutch and after the concept of a commons, untouchable by financial interests, was utterly destroyed, paving the way for anything and everything to be commodified. Not to mention that Greek slavery wasn't chattel slavery, and was more akin to thralldom.

Now go away and leave the grown-up discussion to the grown-ups, limp-dick.

More like how Bill Nye feels reading David Icke.

 

[satindesire]

If I may just insert a quick note here: Satin, you have a lot of good reasons to display a little arrogance here and there and to be a bit insulting now and again. Somebody has to call the game the way it's being played, after all. I'd like you a whole lot less if you didn't stand up for yourself strongly the way you usually do.

Okay, you can all go back to your regular discussion.

Yeah, well a lot of dudes don't like it when women aren't passively compliant, meek and agreeable.

Unfortunately, he was the kind of guy that didn't like the fact that I have a voice and use it.

/shrug!

FWIW, thank you.

 

[satindesire]

LOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1Yt0xJKDY8

 

[satindesire]

There was no "Greek race" you fuckwit. It was a geographic, linguistic, and religious distinction. Ancient Greeks came in every color.

Race was invented to justify the West African slave trade after the invention of what we might call modern banking and capitalism by the Dutch and after the concept of a commons, untouchable by financial interests, was utterly destroyed, paving the way for anything and everything to be commodified. Not to mention that Greek slavery wasn't chattel slavery, and was more akin to thralldom.

Now go away and leave the grown-up discussion to the grown-ups, limp-dick.

More like how Bill Nye feels reading David Icke.

Every time anyone breaks out with pseudo-intellectual bullshit broscience I always know I can count on you to lay the smack down on their candy ass.

This is one of those rare times I don't mind being insulting. I think it's relevant.

 

[Bramblethorn]

If I may just insert a quick note here: Satin, you have a lot of good reasons to display a little arrogance here and there and to be a bit insulting now and again. Somebody has to call the game the way it's being played, after all. I'd like you a whole lot less if you didn't stand up for yourself strongly the way you usually do.

Okay, you can all go back to your regular discussion.

I endorse this post.

 

[KoPilot]

Every time anyone breaks out with pseudo-intellectual bullshit broscience I always know I can count on you to lay the smack down on their candy ass.

This is one of those rare times I don't mind being insulting. I think it's relevant.

Keep being a smarmy babe yourself ;3

Oh, and one more thing, Lex: there was no thing as GREECE to the ancients. Modern-day Greece is just that: modern. Say it with me: nation-states. FUCK.

 

[Apollo Wilde]

Keep being a smarmy babe yourself ;3

Oh, and one more thing, Lex: there was no thing as GREECE to the ancients. Modern-day Greece is just that: modern. Say it with me: nation-states. FUCK.

To elaborate on race:

Wasn't. A. Thing. In. The. Ancient. World. While I do agree with the very real fact that people have enslaved each other since, well, forever, that doesn't automatically assume that slavery based on race is the "norm" or somewhat more acceptable.

The idea that we have of race is a fairly recent one. This is an excellent place to start for those interested in how it came about: https://www.sandiego.edu/cas/documents/llc/FuLipsitz.pdf

 

[Apollo Wilde]

Thank you Apollo Wilde, for changing your post to respond to me. I'm glad you were able to do it publicly.

My aversion to PMs is purely based on my own anxieties. I'm just better off without an inbox, and perfectly happy being addressed publicly.

I do apologize for being condescending, it was unintentional. As someone who has formally studied sociology I should know the answers to my questions already, but I'm lost. You yourself said you would not stay in your current location if you had children. I did concede that racism is a national problem, I did not intend to make a north vs. south argument. Your hometown sounds like a slice of heaven, while my friends in canada tell me that racism has become a very serious problem in some areas.

My thought was; if you're in a region that's largely acknowledged to top lists for its toxicity toward your minority (not just stereotypically), wouldn't anywhere else be a better place to raise children? I failed to implicitly state that I was posting as a parent to another parent. Still, you raise good points. I never would have though that Connecticut would lead the civilized world for police corruption, for instance. No amount of research is really going to compare with the experience of living somewhere.

I know too that the patriarchy has entrenched systems and sentiments throwing back to feudal times to keep plebes from relocating. I'm getting to cope with some of that stuff right now, in fact.

Edit: which lists? yeah ok got me; there's a different list from a different undisclosed sponsor every week, how do you even know which ones to look at anymore?

And I’m a historian - so with your admission, I’m doubly surprised that you still asked the question to begin with. But, taking into consideration that the idea is that this is a “safe” place, I’ll move forward from there.

I didn’t post any articles because, well, many articles on race come with a definitive bias, and when I’m trying to inform, I try to find objective as possible articles. That can be a difficult task. I have a very class-oriented approach to my studies (I.E., I see race and class as deciding factors, and not just race), and have a bit of a Marxist / Socialist slant. And hey, not everyone agrees with Howard Zinn or Angela Davis.

A lot of articles I read penned by black authors are largely reactionary, and assume the reader is already familiar with the subject. With other articles on racism, there’s so much clutching of the pearls that again, it doesn’t get to the root of the matter. I’m not expecting a cure for racism in any way, shape, or form. I consider it part of the human condition. Individuals have the ability to reflect, change, and grow. Some do, some don’t.

Here’s the thing about hometowns - mileage will vary. My experience in my hometown is different from my friends who are from the same area, from those who have visited, etc. Individuals have things, place, ideas, that they value. And not everyone values the same thing. I’ll admit it’s not perfect, but I will defend it.

Also - I don’t have kids. That’s why I said IF I had them, I would probably move.

I’m a little reluctant to post links, as you mentioned you skim them and have a hard time reading in depth. However, if you ARE interested in race, local, and migration, I have a few suggestions:

http://www.history.com/topics/black-history/great-migration - About the “Great Migration” - when there was a large exodus of black families moving north for more economic opportunities.

http://projects.statesman.com/news/racial-geography/ - a history of Austin, Texas’s racial divide (Austin is where I live now)

http://blog.longreads.com/2014/12/16/the-cost/#more-12761 - a long, but moving article on racial profiling

http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/02/us/charles-barkley-on-race/index.html?hpt=hp_t1 - An interview with Charles Barkley, of all people - but hits the race conversation on the head (in my opinion)

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/ohio-sperm-bank-controversy-new-case-reparations - this whole fucking hot mess that shows an immense lack of intersectionality across race, gender, and class. My original commentary on it is as follows:

"For your daily awful. Her comments / complaints far outweigh the legitimate nature of being given the wrong donor sperm. Her outlook on race is one of the most abysmal things I've read recently, made all the more so that she does indeed have a bi-racial child and speaks of her daughter as an "other", an "it." It's absolutely amazing to me how people who have gone through personal struggles can be so unempathetic / unwilling to see that there is indeed intersections with personal experiences - oh, wait, they're only equal problems when it's to that party's benefit. Ugh.”

http://www.theroot.com/articles/his...e_ideal_standard_of_beauty.html?wpisrc=burger - An editorial on the history of blacks in Western Art, a subject near and dear to my heart. History is often taught in the sense that Africans didn’t become players on the world stage until slavery. A grievous error.

http://www.theguardian.com/artandde...tography-exhibition-rivington-place?CMP=fb_gu - Another article / series of photos depicting black Victorians

http://www.buzzfeed.com/justincarissimo/77-questions-black-people-are-tired-of-hearing#.asnVzZVxZ - A little bit of levity, but reads as a checklist for myself and many other of my black friends. I love having to field, “Why do black women do XYZ?” And being asked if my hair is all mine. Or if it’s all real.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/realest-tumblr-posts-about-being-a-person-of-color#.rhB85L8WL - another fun one, but it does cite Tumblr, and reactions there can be….extreme.