Beyond the Deep End

[AngelicAssassin]

repeat.

Screw the rinse and wash, just repeat.

It ain't a humiliating gangbang if you let them clean up between.

 

[FurryFury]

My opinion is that you've never done absolutely everything. There is always a twist of mind, body, emotions or positions. There is always something you never thought of and haven't tried.

Anyway your relationship is probably not based just on BDSM or sex. There is probably a lot more going on there. The constant self discoveries of yourself and conveying that to each other can keep you busy forever. People are interesting, endlessly changing and when you love them while they love you, it rarely gets boring though it is sometimes challenging.

Fury

 

[Quint]

Let's talk cheese. Mmmm cheese. There's hundreds of types, most of which I haven't yet tried, some that I probably never will, and hundreds of ways to eat it, but really, it's all the same basic cheese. The way I figure it, if I'm not tired of cheese by now, I'm never going to be tired of it.

That's the cheeky--not cheesy--answer. I've had the same question, honestly, and I know that Shadowsdream has postulated that, from her experience, love sometimes does make the dominance less inspiring, less consistent, less powerful. Yeah, I've felt the thrill of a new, taboo, terrifying experience fade into a routine sort of pleasure--and it's harder to achieve that original exhilaration. But I do realize that not every date can be the first date. We aren't thrown into the ocean to be reborn a virgin every morning. Therefore, we have to be smart and we have to be passionate. That's where love is a really nifty thing--you kind of tend to care more about the long-term satisfaction. For me, the question has been answered.

 

[_sweetuntilforever]

Inspired by Andreina's thread. (And, ok, maybe AA's sigline.)

Being one who bores easily, I can't help but wonder if such a relationship will lose it's appeal as I grow closer to my future mate. I worry that once I hit that 'comfort zone,' I just won't be able to see him in the same 'dominant' light as when we first met, and the idea of engaging in a BDSM encounter will seem more like a chore than an erotic adventure.

The wanting that both a true Dominant and true submissive feel inside their souls is what keeps the relationship together and interesting as time progresses. I know that for me, if I was with the "One"...the Dominant that completed me and keep me in his heart...I don't think I could ever grow bored with taking care of Him.

Maybe that is kinda unrealistic to some, but to me the one thing I want above all else is the love. The love would not make things less exciting, but only more so. Those submissive feelings inside me would run so deep and become so powerful that when we did engage in a scene or play, my entrance into subspace would be amplified. I would have no worries of being torn from it unexpectedly, I would have complete trust and give up that much more of myself.

When you know someone inside and out...forwards and backwards...upside down...*giggles*...with imagination and creativity you can always find SOMETHING to get their blood pumping again. Especially keeping in mind their basic need that is always there....to "take" or to "give.

 

[_sweetuntilforever]

Amplified.....

Inspired by Andreina's thread. (And, ok, maybe AA's sigline.)

Being one who bores easily, I can't help but wonder if such a relationship will lose it's appeal as I grow closer to my future mate. I worry that once I hit that 'comfort zone,' I just won't be able to see him in the same 'dominant' light as when we first met, and the idea of engaging in a BDSM encounter will seem more like a chore than an erotic adventure.

The wanting that both a true Dominant and true submissive feel inside their souls is what keeps the relationship together and interesting as time progresses. I know that for me, if I was with the "One"...the Dominant that completed me and keep me in his heart...I don't think I could ever grow bored with taking care of Him.

Maybe that is kinda unrealistic to some, but to me the one thing I want above all else is the love. The love would not make things less exciting, but only more so. Those submissive feelings inside me would run so deep and become so powerful that when we did engage in a scene or play, my entrance into subspace would be amplified. I would have no worries of being torn from it unexpectedly, I would have complete trust and give up that much more of myself.

When you know someone inside and out...forwards and backwards...upside down...*giggles*...with imagination and creativity you can always find SOMETHING to get their blood pumping again. Especially keeping in mind their basic need that is always there....to "take" or to "give.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Thanks for trying to help me out, Rosco. I appear to still be doing something wrong, so I'm gonna just go about this the long way. I build websites for a living, for fark sake... I should be able to figure this shit out.

Catalina:
I think it depends on the people involved and also whether it is love or just momentary lust/infatuation. I also have a low boredom threshold, but can't say I have tried everything, or see that as even a possibility as there is just so much to do, and in so many different ways. It depends on whether you have an imaginative partner who can take you to the edge and then add that unexpected twist in such a way it tweaks your insides and makes you fall all over again.

I suppose what I'm trying to express isn't that I fear I will end up with a partner who isn't inventive, but rather just find it difficult to take him seriously as the relationship grows. Will I still be able to keep a straight face 3 years later when he ties me to the bedpost or instructs me to put on a collar? Worse yet will I grow to dread it, now viewing it all as some silly roleplay game? I mean, at the start of a relationship, there is always that air of mystery about the other person, but once you hit that comfort zone, that element of danger, suspense, and fear would fade as trust and commitment build, I assume. Maybe I'm wrong.

Angelic Assassin:
(Pardon me for answering these out of order, but necessary from my POV.) i could flippantly answer you keep it fresh by going back to square one and starting all over again. You sound earnest enough to deserve a serious answer. The dynamic sustains itself if the people involved wish for it to continue.

I suppose that's what I'm getting at. If it doesn't, are we destined to spend the remainder of our days with someone we love, yet no longer feel a physical connection to? I made the mistake of basing my question on the BDSM dynamic, when it actually generally applies to the entire human race. I would hate to look at my partner years down the line and think... man, do I love him, but I would rather tear my eyeballs out with a spoon than fuck him or engage in another roleplay scenario.

Joe Schmoe:
First off, I think you are analyzing this far to much, or maybe it is just worrying too much. I am not sure which. Sometimes it is best to cross the bridges when we get to them. Secondly, I believe you will find that the both of you will evolve while together. This should allow the comfort zone to stay from being static.

Perhaps. Wouldn't be the first time on this board I have been accused of being over-analytical, even though I seldom start a thread. I more see it as approaching a topic for discussion, though.

I don't think I agree with crossing bridges when we get to them, however. Often entering into a situation you are not 100 percent confident about is a great way to ensure someone will get hurt. I know this from experiance.

Gracanne:
I don't understand why love and BDSM can't go hand in hand. To tell the truth, I can't imagine one without the other. I think that BDSM without love would be superficial and hollow. Love just takes it to another depth.

I agree, and I don't understand either. Hence the questions. I never said it was impossible, or even wrong. Hell, the reason I started this thread was to hear of positive experiances and suggestions to keep the ol' flame burnin'. If two people are so blessed as to still get each other off after so many years, I'm absolutely, 110 percent for it.

Netzach:
I could hang the same person off my same rafter every day for the rest of my life and be ecstatic. It's never quite the same twice, even when it might seem the same.

Oh, to live one day in your shoes. And not just because they are pretty shoes.

Red Sonja:
I think it comes down to this... if you really love the person you're being hung by or hanging; it is always fun and never boring. Dh and I have been together for the last 13 years in November, and are still learning new things about each other.

Let's not start thinking we are some kind of different human beings... we are still the same as vanillas. Sure our needs are a bit different but the key to a successful relationship is steady: Communicate, communicate talk it out before it's too late.

Congrats to you and DH! Yeah, communication is important, of that I do agree. But when you have just stop being physically attracted to someone, I'm not really certain it is something that could or even should be talked though. Maybe it's just time to leave? I'm really glad to hear this isn't an issue for you and your sweetie, though. It's great that you still can get each other hot, and give a jaded bitch like me hope!

Shy Slave:
Its a good question Helene, not sure i agree with the thought you may be over-analysing it.

I love questions that make me think.

The early elements of any new relationship are easy because you want it to work and there are so many things to try.
Sustaining any relationship takes work and takes it out of the bedroom/dungeon/whatever.

Thank you for that first sentence. This is really the only place I get to express myself so openly, and I do it so rarely, I suppose that it's become a bit of a pet peeve to be told I'm analyzing too much the odd times I do post. Not to insinuate others aren't entitled to their opinion, though. It's a fair enough assessment from an outsiders perspective, and I don't begrudge them for that.

Babiesmiles:
I really enjoyed your posts, and look forward to re-reading them as I don't feel I have yet given them the attention they deserve. I love your philosphical nature, and I certainly will not wack you for it.

Yggdrasil: See above.

DVS:
I guess there could be some who aren't that kinky and might get bored soon, but I'm pretty kinky and with more kinks, there's less chance of getting bored.

And, I have a creative mind that slants to the devious side of the scale, so there's always something going on in my head. I've always got something in mind, when I see a bound woman, a naked ass, or a gagged mouth, etc. It kind of comes natural to me, in a way. So, I'm naturally kinky? At least I know there's never a dull moment. I keep my subs busy.

And I don't doubt that for even one nano-second.

Odalisk:
I do worry about the possibility of boredom in a vanilla r/s -- but because I'm aware of it, I can at least take steps to mitigate it.

You understand me!

 

[sincerely_helene]

My opinion is that you've never done absolutely everything. There is always a twist of mind, body, emotions or positions. There is always something you never thought of and haven't tried.

Anyway your relationship is probably not based just on BDSM or sex. There is probably a lot more going on there. The constant self discoveries of yourself and conveying that to each other can keep you busy forever. People are interesting, endlessly changing and when you love them while they love you, it rarely gets boring though it is sometimes challenging.

Fury

That is a lovely statement. Thank you.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Let's talk cheese. Mmmm cheese. There's hundreds of types, most of which I haven't yet tried, some that I probably never will, and hundreds of ways to eat it, but really, it's all the same basic cheese. The way I figure it, if I'm not tired of cheese by now, I'm never going to be tired of it.

That's the cheeky--not cheesy--answer. I've had the same question, honestly, and I know that Shadowsdream has postulated that, from her experience, love sometimes does make the dominance less inspiring, less consistent, less powerful. Yeah, I've felt the thrill of a new, taboo, terrifying experience fade into a routine sort of pleasure--and it's harder to achieve that original exhilaration. But I do realize that not every date can be the first date. We aren't thrown into the ocean to be reborn a virgin every morning. Therefore, we have to be smart and we have to be passionate. That's where love is a really nifty thing--you kind of tend to care more about the long-term satisfaction. For me, the question has been answered.

Excellent points-- you make a lot of sense. Maybe I'm just being too selfish and greedy. I always kind of want it all, and have gotten rid of a great many decent men because of it. I guess I just feel that I'd rather be single than in a dull, yet loving relationship, but that is not really what life is about in the long run.

And now I want cheese!!!

 

[sincerely_helene]

The wanting that both a true Dominant and true submissive feel inside their souls is what keeps the relationship together and interesting as time progresses. I know that for me, if I was with the "One"...the Dominant that completed me and keep me in his heart...I don't think I could ever grow bored with taking care of Him.

Maybe that is kinda unrealistic to some, but to me the one thing I want above all else is the love. The love would not make things less exciting, but only more so. Those submissive feelings inside me would run so deep and become so powerful that when we did engage in a scene or play, my entrance into subspace would be amplified. I would have no worries of being torn from it unexpectedly, I would have complete trust and give up that much more of myself.

When you know someone inside and out...forwards and backwards...upside down...*giggles*...with imagination and creativity you can always find SOMETHING to get their blood pumping again. Especially keeping in mind their basic need that is always there....to "take" or to "give.

Awww, now I feel like an un-true submissive.

I sincerely do hope you find your "One", though.

 

[FurryFury]

That is a lovely statement. Thank you.

You are welcome, glad you liked it, I truly believe it.

*smiles*

Fury