Birth order and comparing yourself to family members for BDSM roles

[Mr Blonde]

Update

Total of 21 replies

Only child
SexyChele - submissive
Netzach - dominant
InnerDarkness - submissive
Quint's partner - dominant

Oldest child
Mr Blonde - dominant
Anonymous - dominant
evesdream - submissive
lark sparrow - submissive
Tiger Claw - dominant
redelicious - submissive
Quint - submissive
niteshade - submissive
QueenBee - switch
NCShin - dominant

Middle child
Kajira Callista (3rd of 4) - submissive
Master Jim (2nd of 3) - dominant
erotic_writer_girl (5th of 6) - submissive
oo0_boo_0oo (5th of 6) - switch

Youngest child
emme - submissive
SweetDommes - dominant
the Royal wench - submissive

Apologies for the gross over-simplifications and please notify of any corrections or mistakes.

 

[Mr Blonde]

Who was strongest personalities in household as you grew up?

Mr Blonde - he was strongest
Anonymous - this person had to be strong at early age
Kajira Callista - everyone else was stronger
evesdream - mom was strongest
lark sparrow - women were strongest
SexyChele - father was strongest
emme - oldest sister was strongest
TigerClaw - all of them were strong willed
redelicious - dad was alpha-male
Netzach - she or her grandmother was strongest
Quint - not clear
Quint's partner - not clear
niteshade - she was strongest
InnerDarkness - not clear
Master Jim - not clear
QueenBee - father was strongest
SweetDommes - not clear
erotic_writer_girl - father was strongest
oo0_boo_0oo - mother was strongest
NCShin - not clear
the Royal wench - not clear

 

[Master Jim]

Birth Order, etc.

Interesting, Mr. Blond! Perhaps the correct conclusion is that birth order DOES NOT seem to be a determinant of dom/sub behavior, contrary to what we thought at the beginning of the discussion.
My only other comment is about my family: my father was definitely the dominant personality.
As any good scientist would say, "Further study is needed."

 

[SweetDommes]

Re: Update

Oldest child
Mr Blonde - dominant
Anonymous - dominant
evesdream - submissive
lark sparrow - submissive
Tiger Claw - dominant
redelicious - submissive
Quint - submissive
niteshade - submissive
QueenBee - switch
NCShin - dominant

Youngest child
emme - submissive
SweetDommes - dominant
the Royal wench - submissive

We actually fit into both of these catagories, not just one. Holly is the oldest in her family, and I'm the baby *bats eyes & tries to look innocent*. I don't know that it would make a huge difference in the results though.

 

[angellebug]

I'm an only child. My mother and father are both yungest of 5 in each family. My mother is super controlling, but not in a sexual way. My dad just goes with the flow. Me? Well...I'm submissive, all the way. (from a VERY early age too!)

 

[Xelebes]

I'm the fourth child of six. Ummmm... been very submissive to my parents and only got along with my younger sister. I'm not sure where to place them as submissive or dominant.

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

eldest of two...

submissive to men
domme to women

Mom- quiet but aggresive if she gets frusterated.
Dad- Very oppinionated and bossy.

younger brother by 14 monthes.. he just discovered sex.. but he's quite passive to women he likes. not bdsm potential I don't think after hearing my stories! But you never know..

Mom- middle, twin sister 5 kids total 4 sisters and the youngest a brother.
1. Eldest aunt.. ball-buster, VERY dominant but very religious.
2. Other twin.. very submisive.
3 My mother.
4 Youngest aunt... very kinky but I can't place if she's D/s I'de guess submissive
5. Uncle very domminent but never mean or cruel.

Dad- eldest of 3.. sister died at a young age.
1. My father
2. My aunt (deceased)
3. My Uncle very dominateing but again a gental hand except if you piss him off.

I am teh second oldest cousin.. and the eldest female cousin. My youngest female cousin is 17 and she's very domminent save when it comes to men.. again she does it for attention.. My other cousin is well she's so darn squeeky clean and nieve.. It makes my teeth hurt! She's a wrecking ball waiting to hit..

All of my male cousins are very domminent but only 2 are very agressive.. the middle ones.. the youngest 2 .. I'm betting one's going to turn out gay. Which is fine by me! Though most of my family will be up at arms save his mother and besides me 2 others.

I think I'm domminent to women because as a child I was physically abused from the age of 13-17 and finally drew the nerve to fight my mother back and won... before that I was a completely submissive person. Up to that point I was NEVER spanked. My father didn't belive in it being a child of abuse himself, and wouldn't have it in his house. hehe he just threw things in my brother 'n I's direction... like the tv controler..he never hit us.. but put dents in the wall. That attributes I think to my being a brat.

I tend to compare my mindset with that of an alpha wolf bitch. I lead if noone else has proven to me their dommient to me.. or I'll follow if they do.

And everyone said going to a shrink for 2 years taught me nothing..

 

[AvaAdore]

i'm submissive with occasional dominant tendencies

i'm the oldest of 2. my little sister is 10 years younger than me. she's 9 at the moment, and the best i can gather from her is that she will remain a spoiled brat and become an unruly teenager.

i think my parents are vanilla. mostly because they dont seem to have a clue about anything else. they like being as "normal" as possible. for a while i was trying to get my mom to try taekwon do (which i have been doing for a few years now), and she says she doesnt want to do martial arts because she doesnt want anyone "bossing her around".

 

[Honeysucklevine]

me too!

I am an only child. In all areas of my life (especially work and marriage) I am amazingly dominant, but sexually I label myself submissive, which is the role I desire most.

My mother was the youngest of 2 (had an older brother). Uncle is VERY Dominant..overtly so, and dear mom is hard to label...if I had to pick, it would be sub, but with some of her manic espisodes she can be quite aggressive and dominant.

Dad is the oldest of 3...he would be switch possibly if I had to say...very adventurous sexually with very little care for labels or boundaries.

My hubby...youngest of 2 with a VERY dominant older brother... he completely NON-DOminant as a result...submissive, low LOW esteem.

 

[snowy ciara]

I recently found out that my parents are both pervy, too. My dad is the middle child, and he's PYL. My mother is the oldest, and she's a pyl. I have four older brothers.

Brother one, I'd say is probably sub, as he became a monk. Monastic types seem to be submissive, cause they're willing to give it all up to one Being. Not that others who are willing to dedicate a life to God are not also. But there is a difference in the level of submission between your lay person, your basic clergy man, and a monastic.

Brother two, not a clue. He's probably kinky, I know he's bi and I've never discussed it with him.

Brother three is kinky. I have independant comfirmation of this. I have no clue which way he swings.

Brother four is so repressed that I wonder how he got stuck in this family! I'm serious! I don't think he even knows what sex is, and if he does, he probably still thinks it's icky.

And then came me, fifth child, the only girl and 8 years younger then my next sibling. Submissive bi chick. I may be switchy; but I'm not sure, so I'll have to check back in a few years,

 

[Esclava]

Ok, had to check in on this topic...

I am #2 of 5 children born to an only child father and eldest child mother (man does that make me jacked up or what?). If I had to attach labels, my father was submissive to my mother who ruled EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY - except her mother. But the strongest one in the family was my maternal great-grandmother.

In my generation, my older sister (by 3 yrs) is submissive with no kink other than having really bad judgement with the men she attaches to.

Then, there's me - submissive to an alpha Dom/me and Domme to everyone else (except in a vanilla setting where I truly share the experience). I spent more than 32 years in love with the woman I fell in love with when I was 9 and she was 10.

My next sister (by 5 yrs) is definitely dominant, kinky of some kind and I've always suspected lesbian or bi...she NEVER talks about men she dates and ALWAYS talks about the "girlfriend" she visits frequently in Houston.

My last sister is ... I have no idea...she wants people to believe she is dominant and in charge of...something...but none of the rest of us take her seriously.

My brother is the baby...He got away with everything he ever tried because he was mom's "baby" and he couldn't possibly do anything wrong. He is a marine, but not an ass-crushing, ball-busting jarhead. He runs the house as the dutiful disciplinarian and does so by commanding respect not through fear.

My children are something else altogether. I have 3 and my oldest daughter is a vanilla, very dominant personality with a husband who only learned to control by intimidation - which doesn't work on her. lmao

My second daughter is a really vanilla submissive who, I believe, has never really ventured into her own space. She lives in a world made for her by other people.

My son is the baby (and also a marine), but he IS a ball-busting jarhead! He has a real problem with the fact that I - in his words, "Fornicate with women." again.

So, what does that mean? I don't know, but we are are a relatively tight knit family even though half of us are scattered across TX and the other half are in CA.

I tend to identify myself the same as DLoD - as an alpha wolf bitch. I am a very strong woman and will only submit to one more alpha than me.

Esclava

 

[Richard49]

I would like ot suggest a book for all to read
"Bradshaw on the Family"
by John Bradshaw