Can it ever be wrong to fantasise?

[subwannabe]

I have to disagree somewhat. Everyone fantasizes. Everyone fantasizes about things that are "out there", including me. Most of us, and hopefully you too, realize that some things are obviously better left as fantasies. Having said all that I think that if bells in your own head are going off that this is not right then maybe it is time to see a professional and get to the root of the "problem". You obviously feel somewhat guilty about having these particular fantasies. I agree with you that communicating with conselting adults about far out fantasies probably won't cause the other person to act them out but, have you considered the possibility that some of those you communicate with do not really feel the same way you do and actually are and already have been carrying out these fantasies? You yourself said that when you think about these feelings being reality it disgusts you and wanted to point out the possibility that at least some of these people you communicate with do not actually feel disgusted about it. How would you feel if you found out that a person you shared fantasies with actually was already carrying out these fantasies?

 

[krkjmst]

By all means, have fantasies and I hope you enjoy them.

Thank you. Wow. I stepped away for a while to have something to eat and watch TV and this thread has gone onto a second page. So sorry to everyone for responding late while I catch up.

 

[krkjmst]

you have to be careful if your stories involve real people.. if someone interprets the story as a threat, it could get you in trouble even though in your mind it's only a fantasy..

What I will say about my fantasies is that the stories that one of my friends writes for me involve female celebrities, but my two friends and I keep these stories entirely to ourselves, in absolute privacy.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... Trusting others with our inner most thoughts can sometimes heal the fear that we're evil inside.

...

And sometimes confirm it beyond any doubt...

 

[krkjmst]

How would you feel if you found out that a person you shared fantasies with actually was already carrying out these fantasies?

Sick to my stomach. That's why I'm always as careful as I can be about who I share them with. But you're right, God knows who's out there on the net. And I don't feel guilty about having these fantasies. It's not that. Because guilt is only something I can feel over having done something I think is wrong. I've never felt guilty about thoughts, and don't really understand those who do. What I really wanted from this thread was to see how other people felt, whether they think it's ever wrong to have such thoughts, as I get the impression from the net a lot that there are a lot of those who do think that. But thankfully, that number doesn't yet seem to include anyone here.

 

[OzoneRed]

Ugol's Law

Ugol's Law (paraphrased): If anyone ever asks "Am I the only one with this particular kink/fantasy/fetish?", the answer is always NO!

Ozone Red's corollary: There's probably a website devoted to it.

Get thee to Google and start searching. You Are Not Alone.

 

[krkjmst]

And sometimes confirm it beyond any doubt...

True, for those who are psychopaths. But I don't think psychopaths fear the evil within them. They embrace it. Therefore, they wouldn't share it with others in order to test how bad it was.

 

[krkjmst]

Ugol's Law (paraphrased): If anyone ever asks "Am I the only one with this particular kink/fantasy/fetish?", the answer is always NO!

Ozone Red's corollary: There's probably a website devoted to it.

Get thee to Google and start searching. You Are Not Alone.

LOL, thanks.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

True, for those who are psychopaths. But I don't think psychopaths fear the evil within them. They embrace it. Therefore, they wouldn't share it with others in order to test how bad it was.

Hehehehe... Not true, not true...

I'm here aren't I?

 

[krkjmst]

Hehehehe... Not true, not true...

I'm here aren't I?

... okay ... *backs away slowly* ...

 

[CutieMouse]

... okay ... *backs away slowly* ...

Nah, Geoff's a big ol' puddy tat.

I think his point (as I see it anyway), is that having "out there" fantasies doesn't necessarily mean you are sick; embracing and mastering that part of you doesn't make you a bad person, and can acutally heal a lot of the guilt.

(I say this knowing Geoff has done rape scenes, plays with knives, fire, electricity, whips, and a million other things that could easily be placed into a box labeled "sick perfected evil guy stuff". )

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Nah, Geoff's a big ol' puddy tat.

I think his point (as I see it anyway), is that having "out there" fantasies doesn't necessarily mean you are sick; embracing and mastering that part of you doesn't make you a bad person, and can acutally heal a lot of the guilt.

(I say this knowing Geoff has done rape scenes, plays with knives, fire, electricity, whips, and a million other things that could easily be placed into a box labeled "sick perfected evil guy stuff". )

HEY! Getoutta my sick perverted evil guy stuff box! That's where I stash all the FUN stuff!

Well... it's where I stash the stuff that's not hanging on the wall.

Or on the waxing station table.

Or in the cutting/needleplay supply box...

And as for backing away slowly, krkjmst... The av photo was taken in my living room... a somewhat larger pic (so you can see details) is in my profile. I fully embrase my inner sadist. I just keep him on a very, VERY tight leash.

 

[krkjmst]

Got it, nothin to worry about, you're just a big ol puddy tat. Nice to meet you, puddy tat, .

 

[FurryFury]

No, in my book, it is never wrong to fantasize provided it stays fantasy.

However, if it doesn't stay fantasy and involves real rape, children and/or murder then it is wrong.

 

[krkjmst]

No, in my book, it is never wrong to fantasize provided it stays fantasy.

However, if it doesn't stay fantasy and involves real rape, children and/or murder then it is wrong.

Precisely.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I've always been fascinated by the thing that separates us from the psychos, the conscience. What exactly it is. I'm actually studying psychology in college, but unfortunately I've never been taught any kind of course on how we learn and maintain moral values.

IME Moral values are required for society to function. Even primates are altruistic to other group members and their young. It's just a carrot and stick way of getting us to behave so that society as a whole can prosper. It starts with toilet training and develops in exactly the same way throughout life through positive and negative reinforcement. Where society breaks down, people get positive reinforcement for doing destructive and negative things and their moral code is rewritten as a result. If a good kid whose been raised well joins a group of bad peers, he'll become violent and apathetic. It all boils down to who you have personal respect for and whose authority is imposed upon you whether you like it or not.

So your fantasies will remain safe in your head because as an emotionally mature adult you have respect for other people's wishes and welfare - to the point where the thought of acting out your fantasies in real life makes them repellant to you.

But mainly because if you do you'll be arrested and go to prison forever

 

[rydia57]

I think its only wrong to fantasize in class. I used to get in trouble for it... especially in my college classes they'd call on me and I'd be deep into one of my fav fantasies of spraying a guys come in his face.... or there's just a right and wrong time to fantasize....

 

[twysted73]

Sick to my stomach. That's why I'm always as careful as I can be about who I share them with. But you're right, God knows who's out there on the net. And I don't feel guilty about having these fantasies. It's not that. Because guilt is only something I can feel over having done something I think is wrong. I've never felt guilty about thoughts, and don't really understand those who do. What I really wanted from this thread was to see how other people felt, whether they think it's ever wrong to have such thoughts, as I get the impression from the net a lot that there are a lot of those who do think that. But thankfully, that number doesn't yet seem to include anyone here.

If I were to ask you what you think about, I'd be consciously taking that step to extend myself and learn (in a limited manner) what it is that has you so fearful and outwardly disturbed. I have met people who's "dirtiest fantasty" involved more then one person having an orgasm inside of them. And to hear them build it up you'd think we're violating corpses in a daycare at snacktime.
(sorry for the visual, I tried to be semi-joking and not get graphic. My apologies to anyone I might've indirectly zapped there)

Help in dealing with these thoughts so you can better understand them and thereby strengthening your resolve to control them and keep them safe within the confines of your own mind might also (as previously stated) be a very good idea. Not that I think you're "unsafe" without it. But you obviously derive pleasure and entertainment from your imagination. And as the chances of you stopping your continuation of them in your mind wont end anytime soon, it might help ease your conscience and feelings of shame/guilt for having them if you knew you were taking additional steps to fortify your already existant strength to keep them inside.

I have been privy to the trust and faith of many people I am close to as they all know (and I never try to hide the fact) that I'm very open minded and sexual. So I've heard quite a few fantasies that were labled by their owners as "sick and twisted". And although I didn't find many of therm as applicable to my own thoughts or enjoyment, I could see how the expression and sharing of them with an open ear made a difference to them. Like lifting a weight from off their shoulders. I consider myself to be very reasonable, sane, level-headed and considerate/sensative to the plights of others. And due to the vast amounts of situations and sights I've both seen and been subjected to against my will (war really is hell, not just a catch-phrase) I feel I can handle more then your average bear.
So......having said that, I offer up a non-judgemental ear and my conversational services if you feel a need to express in a safe environment knowing you can be as you are and know I uphold the strictest of confidances. (11 years in the medical field have helped fortify all that I'm offering) I almost feel I should recite the hypocratic oath.

Whether you take it or not, sometimes just knowing it's there makes a difference. Good luck.

 

[FungiUg]

Can it ever be wrong to fantasise? I myself have fantasies which I'm sure would make even the most chilling psychopath retch, but unlike a psychopath, I know to keep these thoughts locked firmly within the realm of fantasy.

I think that's the key difference. If you are a psychopath, then fantasising could be dangerous. But for reasonably sane(ish) humans, fantasising is normal. In a way, our love of fiction is just a part of that.

I still think there are times when fantasies can be destructive, and pining after something that will only hurt you is a good example. I had a fantasy of my ex-wife (for example) that I couldn't get out of my head for ages. In the end, I wrote it down as an attempt to exorcise it, which surprisingly worked rather well.

On the whole, I think fantasising is healthy. It helps us create dreams and goals and aspirations. It also helps us work through our darker sides without having to resort to hurting people (cathatic.)

 

[SLUT13]

im fairly new here..but i think that theres abselutely nothing wrong with fantasizing..to me its all a matter of our individuality..i myself have LOTS of crazy and (to most people) weird fantasiez, but im not ashamed of them..it works for me, and hopefully, ull learn to feel the same way and be comfortable with them.. id love to hear some of yours sometime.

 

[GothScotsman1]

At what point does it become an obsession? Is it the constant daydream of arterial spray, that lurks in the back of your mind constantly? Lying awake at night, with the faces of countless imaginary victims parading through your thoughts? Or is it the single thought, that if I do it... just once, my life will be complete?

 

[Fistaurelius]

I think anybody should be able to fantasize about whatever they want. In fact the act of imagining new sexual acts in and of itself, I find a turn-on.

 

[FurryFury]

At what point does it become an obsession? Is it the constant daydream of arterial spray, that lurks in the back of your mind constantly? Lying awake at night, with the faces of countless imaginary victims parading through your thoughts? Or is it the single thought, that if I do it... just once, my life will be complete?

LOL

What a total fallacy!

Lying to yourself is something we all do though.

*chuckle*

Perhaps you should watch Dexter?

 

[twysted73]

Hi cowgirl, nice to meet a fellow newbie. I feel that my fantasies are very strong, but not strong enough to ever overwhelm my moral instincts, or even interfere in any way with my day to day life. But it's just unfortunate to me the way many conservative minded people feel about certain fantasies, and don't believe they should even be written about, for fear they'll encourage sex offenders to carry them out. I believe that if you have the potential to be a sex offender, you don't need any encouragement from a story.

Put this way in this frame of mind, I firmly believe you can and shoud fantasize about anything your heart desires.

What it boils down to is this: If you can control yourself and not take the step between fantasy and reality, then by all means. Knock yourself out. (not in the asyphxiation-manner either...well...unless that gets you too)

Welcome little Lit-lings. Happy to have you onboard. Post away!

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

HEY! Getoutta my sick perverted evil guy stuff box! That's where I stash all the FUN stuff!

Well... it's where I stash the stuff that's not hanging on the wall.

Or on the waxing station table.

Or in the cutting/needleplay supply box...

And as for backing away slowly, krkjmst... The av photo was taken in my living room... a somewhat larger pic (so you can see details) is in my profile. I fully embrase my inner sadist. I just keep him on a very, VERY tight leash.

*cuts off the leash and runs away*