Cock Talk

[Mo_Bandy]

Have not used a condom in 18 years. Dont see how I could go back now.

 

[darkelf9]

Catholics don't have any rhythm, if they did there would be less of them

 

[darkelf9]

BDE doesn't exist. It's a very American thing who seem to confuse confidence with large things. So BDE is a Yeah Nah from me as an Aussie. What does Yeah Nah mean in Aussie lingo. It means yes we hear you and no we don't agree, well that's the polite version. Now Big Dickhead Energy, well that's something I can agree with. Dealt with a lot of dickheads over the decades and unlike differences in culture, dickheads is a level of stupidity known by locals in all countries.

 

[darkelf9]

I have a tanned cock yet it's never seen the sun. How is this possible?.....magic

 

[MedicalMuse]

Wait, why do you need two? Is that normal?

“nightmare experience” says it all

Why were you selling condoms?

I sold sex toys. Like Tupperware but sex toys

 

[Lmizzler]

Rubber? I barely know her!


https://64.media.tumblr.com/e38932b070b90c534144ff81d08d190c/e60732fd52af101b-f7/s500x750/4e97ca2a9c85bcbf7dbf1b29994a89da671f454f.gif

What is your preferred method of birth control?
Does condom use affect women’s enjoyment of sex?

My wife said it did.

For most (all) guys, using a condom is not nearly as enjoyable, in some cases not enjoyable at all, for many women the pill causes problems, so how do you navigate that?

Sometimes you just grin and bear it if that’s your only option. I’d rather have sex with a condom than not have sex at all.

Is safe sex boring sex?

No way. There is thrill to risky sex but there is also freedom and relaxation to safe sex.

Have you ever found a condom that fits just right?

Yeah, I think it’s called a vagina.

Have you, or your partner, had a vasectomy? Would you/he?

Yup. Not a difficult procedure and allowed for worry free and spontaneous sex in an easier fashion.

If you use condoms, due to sex with a lot of people, are you more afraid of pregnancy or disease?

N/A

If you could go back and ask your Sex Ed teacher a question, what would it be?
*This topic was submitted, what questions about condoms, safe sex, birth control should I have asked?

I still cringe at the thought of the sex ed Disney cartoons sonic probably ask a question about why Minnie just became a sex object. I’m convinced her skirt got shorter in those videos.

 

[morelikeasong]

Why wait? I can assure you it was one of the best decisions in my life! The freedom of spontaneous sex is underrated!

I don’t know! I’ve been bugging him about it for 2 years. I’m going to hold hold his feet to the fire at the start of the new year when our new insurance kicks in.

I can't say what the rest of the world teach, but since my wife teaches biology (and other science subjects) sex education is on her table. And in Sweden it is on the teaching plan to educate all students about the importance of getting to know your body. And the first thing they teach when it comes to sex with a partner is consent. Do what ever you want, but make sure all involved in the activity has given their consent!

Love this!

 

[darkelf9]

“nightmare experience” says it all

I sold sex toys. Like Tupperware but sex toys

Tupperware sex toys...well I guess there won't be any issue with losing the lids then. Not sure about storage capacity, however you will have more stirring sticks.

 

[darkelf9]

Had to give up team sports, too many swinging dicks in the change room...."yes Ralph I'm talking to you, we've all got one mate, put a towel on if you want to have a conversation". There was a work colleague who would strip off in the office cubical to go for a run and ask me to lookout for any potential female staff coming down our end of the office. Why did he not use the male locker room? Because it was a male locker room. Needed a gas mask and a canary to go in there.

 

[darkelf9]

As soon as an STD test is presented?

I'd say condom or vasectomy.
Before my vasectomy I'd always had condoms with me.

Fun fact, here in Australia until several years ago we used to call interstate phone calls, STD calls and it was right here on the utility bill. These days interstate phone calls are stated as National Calls. And yes we have states in Australia, not provinces. Although it would of been funnier if we kept the STD name. I mean if you went to a doctor and they asked you have you had an STD, you would say "Yes". The doctor then says who with, and you say..."My mother".

 

[MedicalMuse]

Had to give up team sports, too many swinging dicks in the change room...."yes Ralph I'm talking to you, we've all got one mate, put a towel on if you want to have conversation". There was a work colleague who would strip off in the office cubical to go for a run and ask me to lookout for any potential female staff coming down our end of the office. Why did he not use the male locker room? Because it was a male locker room. Needed a gas mask and a canary to go in there.

Sounds like my sons’ bedrooms.
When we were helping a friend pull up gym flooring at the Gold’s, we found a used condom. Middle of the fucking cardio room. Who has sex on a treadmill?

 

[darkelf9]

Sounds like my sons’ bedrooms.
When we were helping a friend pull up gym flooring at the Gold’s, we found a used condom. Middle of the fucking cardio room. Who has sex on a treadmill?

People with low blood sugar.

 

[Lmizzler]

Sounds like my sons’ bedrooms.
When we were helping a friend pull up gym flooring at the Gold’s, we found a used condom. Middle of the fucking cardio room. Who has sex on a treadmill?

While porn makes it look simple and pseudo-hot, I guarantee that I’d hurt myself.

 

[Cogan]

Sounds like my sons’ bedrooms.
When we were helping a friend pull up gym flooring at the Gold’s, we found a used condom. Middle of the fucking cardio room. Who has sex on a treadmill?

Someone who multi tasks?

 

[hotwords229_A]

I still cringe at the thought of the sex ed Disney cartoons sonic probably ask a question about why Minnie just became a sex object. I’m convinced her skirt got shorter in those videos.

WHAT?!!! Is that a real thing?

I’m going to hold hold his feet to the fire

No wonder he hasn’t had it yet, it has nothing to do with his feet!

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Wait, why do you need two? Is that normal?

Short answer? No, not normal.
Pull up a chair and grab a drink... For anyone who hasn't been snipped yet - my story is NOT typical.

“nightmare experience” says it all

Absolutely true.

Background: I had previously had a hernia, this story takes place while I was on active duty, and anything healthcare related and the US military is already headed in the wrong direction. I was 28 when this happened, wife was expecting our 4th child, potent doesn't begin to describe me; due to chronic infrequency, I can tell you the exact date all of my (biological) children were conceived.

I go into flight med to have my assigned flight doc perform what should have been a routine procedure. She was kind, charming, and I anticipated the day was going to be a struggle to not enjoy being handled by her. But then her assistant came in, 20 year old goddess. By far, the best looking woman on the installation. Damnit. As she was prepping me for surgery and trimming things down, I couldn't help it, I got turned on. On subsequent visits, she never looked me in the eye again.

And that's the end of the good parts. It's all WAY downhill from here.

First the topical numbing, followed by the injection of what I later discover is lidocaine.

Next the incision; wince! It was like catching my scrotum on a thorn and pulling. Quick, but not painless. Then the next 25 minutes I grit and tense and struggle. As does the doc and med tech. Flight doc says she doesn't understand why things were not going well and asked why I was so tense. I told her I could feel her pulling on my plumbing all the way up into my abdomen and it wasn't fun. I was hurting, but doing my best to stay still.

Finally, I start bitching that I shouldn't be surprised, my wisdom teeth extraction went terrible and my hernia surgery wasn't great either. That's when the doc stops and asks about the hernia. That the military performed on me. That's in my charts! THAT I TOLD HER ABOUT! That's when she claims to have not known about it and states that, due to scar tissue from hernias, a proper urologist has to perform the surgery. Damnit. Also, when I asked if I should be hurting she said no, but stated that she noticed I had some red hair mixed in and that some of us don't react to anesthetics very well - which would explain the issues with all my previous dental situations to include wisdom teeth extraction. So, I had close to zero numbing effect for the slice and dice!

The next day, I'm required to take my physical fitness test because to them, I hadn't actually had a vasectomy, despite the incision. Needless to say, running became an impact sport and I failed, miserably.

Fast forward past a couple of dumb situations and I'm now in an actual operating room and going under for this procedure. This was wholly uneventful, except I had three loops of sutures on each side. Normally, there are none.

Some time goes by and I'm starting to be uncomfortable as I'm healing. I call the doc and ask when the sutures should begin to dissolve and he says they already should be. Come to find out, he didn't use dissolving sutures and told me to just remove them myself.

So there I was, with nail clippers, in my bathroom, trying not to nick myself, tugging at the string. I finally cut it loose, pull the strands out, and go about my life.

6 months later, my wife gets a full hysterectomy

 

[MedicalMuse]

I love stories like this. You have just made my entire afternoon.

I’m glad you can look on it with some humor. And really, since you’re in the service, you understand that putting uncle Sam in charge of anything delicate is generally a bad idea.

 

[lavendersilk]

Rubber? I barely know her!

What is your preferred method of birth control?

Currently, IUD, but it is painful to insert. Lasts 8 years. I'm not looking forward to having it removed, but hopefully by then I'll be barren.

Does condom use affect women’s enjoyment of sex?

I don't notice a difference.

For most (all) guys, using a condom is not nearly as enjoyable, in some cases not enjoyable at all,

Tell them to bring their clean bill of health papers to their sex partner and have a vasectomy if they dont want kids. It shouldn't always be on the woman to take all of the responsibility.

for many women the pill causes problems, so how do you navigate that?

I was on the pill for 20+ years. I believe it messed me up causing emotional mood swings and weight gain. I had to take it because at the time it was the only option for irregular menstrual cycles.

Is safe sex boring sex?

Not at all.

Have you ever found a condom that fits just right?

N/A

Have you, or your partner, had a vasectomy? Would you/he?

See above.

If you use condoms, due to sex with a lot of people, are you more afraid of pregnancy or disease?

Disease.

If you could go back and ask your Sex Ed teacher a question, what would it be?

Isn't the internet awesome?

*This topic was submitted, what questions about condoms, safe sex, birth control should I have asked?

I just want to say that your doctor doesn't know everything. Get a second or third opinion and do your own research.

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I love stories like this. You have just made my entire afternoon.

I’m glad you can look on it with some humor. And really, since you’re in the service, you understand that putting uncle Sam in charge of anything delicate is generally a bad idea.

I'm so glad I could amuse
I definitely was not laughing when this happened.

 

[Lmizzler]

Short answer? No, not normal.
Pull up a chair and grab a drink... For anyone who hasn't been snipped yet - my story is NOT typical.


Absolutely true.

Background: I had previously had a hernia, this story takes place while I was on active duty, and anything healthcare related and the US military is already headed in the wrong direction. I was 28 when this happened, wife was expecting our 4th child, potent doesn't begin to describe me; due to chronic infrequency, I can tell you the exact date all of my (biological) children were conceived.

I go into flight med to have my assigned flight doc perform what should have been a routine procedure. She was kind, charming, and I anticipated the day was going to be a struggle to not enjoy being handled by her. But then her assistant came in, 20 year old goddess. By far, the best looking woman on the installation. Damnit. As she was prepping me for surgery and trimming things down, I couldn't help it, I got turned on. On subsequent visits, she never looked me in the eye again.

And that's the end of the good parts. It's all WAY downhill from here.

First the topical numbing, followed by the injection of what I later discover is lidocaine.

Next the incision; wince! It was like catching my scrotum on a thorn and pulling. Quick, but not painless. Then the next 25 minutes I grit and tense and struggle. As does the doc and med tech. Flight doc says she doesn't understand why things were not going well and asked why I was so tense. I told her I could feel her pulling on my plumbing all the way up into my abdomen and it wasn't fun. I was hurting, but doing my best to stay still.

Finally, I start bitching that I shouldn't be surprised, my wisdom teeth extraction went terrible and my hernia surgery wasn't great either. That's when the doc stops and asks about the hernia. That the military performed on me. That's in my charts! THAT I TOLD HER ABOUT! That's when she claims to have not known about it and states that, due to scar tissue from hernias, a proper urologist has to perform the surgery. Damnit. Also, when I asked if I should be hurting she said no, but stated that she noticed I had some red hair mixed in and that some of us don't react to anesthetics very well - which would explain the issues with all my previous dental situations to include wisdom teeth extraction. So, I had close to zero numbing effect for the slice and dice!

The next day, I'm required to take my physical fitness test because to them, I hadn't actually had a vasectomy, despite the incision. Needless to say, running became an impact sport and I failed, miserably.

Fast forward past a couple of dumb situations and I'm now in an actual operating room and going under for this procedure. This was wholly uneventful, except I had three loops of sutures on each side. Normally, there are none.

Some time goes by and I'm starting to be uncomfortable as I'm healing. I call the doc and ask when the sutures should begin to dissolve and he says they already should be. Come to find out, he didn't use dissolving sutures and told me to just remove them myself.

So there I was, with nail clippers, in my bathroom, trying not to nick myself, tugging at the string. I finally cut it loose, pull the strands out, and go about my life.

6 months later, my wife gets a full hysterectomy

Oh geez. I feel horrible for you but I definitely laughed at this tragedy of errors.

 

[darkelf9]

Wait a second, all of yours can talk?!
What the hell is wrong with mine?

Probably due it's 100k checkup.

 

[Apisto42]

I'm so glad I could amuse
I definitely was not laughing when this happened.

Tough story. I was lucky and only had to pull two sutures out myself. Damn things never dissolve even when they use the “dissolving” ones.

 

[Wand3rlust]

Rubber? I barely know her!


https://64.media.tumblr.com/e38932b070b90c534144ff81d08d190c/e60732fd52af101b-f7/s500x750/4e97ca2a9c85bcbf7dbf1b29994a89da671f454f.gif

What is your preferred method of birth control?

Seems to be abstinence at the moment.

Does condom use affect women’s enjoyment of sex?

Yes.

For most (all) guys, using a condom is not nearly as enjoyable, in some cases not enjoyable at all, for many women the pill causes problems, so how do you navigate that?

i used to be on the pill. I had no issues. Now i have a hormonal coil. I have no issues. Althogh it can get moody occasionally and cry floods...

Is safe sex boring sex?

No. Not in my experience.

Have you ever found a condom that fits just right?

erm. They all seem a little big on me.

Have you, or your partner, had a vasectomy? Would you/he?

N/A

If you use condoms, due to sex with a lot of people, are you more afraid of pregnancy or disease?

it would be STI's.

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

While porn makes it look simple and pseudo-hot, I guarantee that I’d hurt myself.

Have her run on the treadmill, you stand just behind her with your legs kinda spread eagled on the sides. themoreyouknow.jpg

 

[Bbl87]

Sounds like my sons’ bedrooms.
When we were helping a friend pull up gym flooring at the Gold’s, we found a used condom. Middle of the fucking cardio room. Who has sex on a treadmill?

I mean, I'd give it a shot.

you understand that putting uncle Sam in charge of anything delicate is generally a bad idea.

Just when I thought you couldn't get any sexier...