Commentary on the forum

[SexyChele]

Ah well. If a comment is only worthy when someone registered says it...

After watching this forum for a while as an outside observer, I have to wonder... does everyone think it's gone downhill? The main posters of the past are all gone (for whatever reason). Heck, the moderator rarely even comes here anymore. Most of the threads are fluff threads. The most interesting threads come from trolls such as ChillVodka. Would it not be better to just close the forum and lock it off? Does anyone really think this forum should exist anymore? And the bad blood from the past... heh... even those people involved in the fighting are not even around anymore. What does that tell you? So what keeps you here? Why keep a forum that is just wasted space? Just some commentary from someone on the outside.

Just noticed this tonight, and I thought the wording too well done to be a typical troll.

What is even more ironic is two things:

1. Never, I was just thinking of you yesterday and wondering how you had been doing. Haven't seen you for a while, and hope all is well.

2. Even though I didn't know who had written the first post, it was stating exactly what I had been feeling lately about this forum. I just simply thought it was my own thoughts I was dealing with, as everyone else seemed to get along fine. Maybe it still is. All I know is that I rarely if ever feel a need to visit here as I used to.

But I don't know if I would have used the word "downhill". Changed, yes, certainly. In some ways, for some people, exactly what they seem to need and want. For others, well, maybe it was time to move on. Still others, having played a major role in initiating the change, moved on to other pastures and will try to initiate change there. As long as people feel the forum is of value to them, then it should not be shut down. In that case, it does play a vital role.

Never, as always, good to see you.

 

[under where]

I didn't take offense to the original message. True- I haven't been here long, but the way I read it seemed...different. I'm not sure why people were so hostile to the original message. Questions were asked and I saw it more as an opportunity to say- Hey, things aren't the same, what do you think? Then again I could be wrong. Computers are so impersonal, I can't tell the difference anymore.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I'm a sub-in-learning (not that I'm being formally trained, but I am learning as I progress through life)... and I come here now and again for a good read, and to get bdsm-related things off my chest. THis is a place for me to talk about my journey as a submissive, and learn from others about their own journeys in whatever role they choose. It is educational, interesting, guiding, informative, and a fun place to hang out with like-minded people. Were I to start a thread about my journey, or any other BDSM-related topic on the general board, I'm not sure how they would react, as it's a board that is far more GENERAL than the specific topic of BDSM, hence, the name GENERAL BOARD.

I'm glad this forum is here. I think it should remain open and active.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Bow, as I have returned

The "hit the nail on the head" musings of Never. Where are your heros now?

LOL Ah, irony

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Bow, as I have returned

I hope you are all well and pleased by this return. a cute little ditty from the little sparrow among you

 

[zipman]

Re: Bow, as I have returned

<snip>
So where does that leave us unfortunate few? Please, if you can, I implore anyone to answer my original post.
<snip>

Perhaps there is a reason for your desire to keep your Lit identity secret, but posting under your ID would have helped you get answers. Posting in a less arrogant way would have helped your cause as well.

First of all, MissT said it well when she said that any forum will be what the posters make of it. However, as a lurker, you do nothing to change or improve this forum yourself. You put the onus of responsibility on the rest of us to provide you with our information and perspectives. You absolve yourself of any responsibility for what this place is, and then complain that you are not getting what you need. Basically you are whining about something that you are too lazy to try and change.

Has the forum changed - yes it has. Have some "old-timers" with a lot of experience left - yes they did. At the same time, we have gotten new posters who have added different perspectives to our conversations.

Life is about change, continual, never ending change. And Richard was right, things happen in cycles. This forum has been a little more quiet recently. It's also a time of the year when people are pretty busy and sometimes people just need to take a break from posting to refresh themselves.

Will the board change again? Yes, of course it will. The question is will it get better? I think so, but the a better question is what are you going to do about it? Will you come forward and add to our conversations or will you just sit on the sidelines and complaining about how it used to be, and what is wrong from your perspective? The first choice would be great. If you choose the latter, don't be surprised when you are not acknowledged at all.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Bow, as I have returned

However, this should not make my original post any less sincere. Would knowing me make my words carry more weight? Is my logic less insightful? Do you need a resume of my life in order to respect my words?

... some of you may get it. [/B]

Ahem...

Okay, I'll lay off now. Hi Never... tweet tweet.

 

[Guest]

Who am I?

Ok, yes, I admit some of my original questions/suggestions where extreme. They were meant to provoke some thought, not receive ridicule because I did not appear before you in a registered form. So I suppose the question is: Who am I?

My real name is Samantha. I am a 41 year old heterosexual female. I have lived in the south central part of the United States of America for 8 years now. I am originally from an island in Europe, but I have traveled widely since I was of age. My childhood was relatively normal for a child of loving parents who earned a decent wage. I left home at the earliest possible chance and returned rarely. My favorite trip was a 6 month excursion in South Africa. I met my first love there, and my first taste of BDSM. Eventually, as is usually the case, I went to school, got a job and settled down. The 5 years on the continent of criminals with my first husband (and first Dom) taught me much about life and love, the beauty of it and the horror of it as well. It took me years to get over his passing. I am a recovering alcoholic. My few degrees are concerned with the subject of history, but that has done little for my chosen career, writing. I believe in knowledge and peace, in talking it out before battling it out. My current husband has seen my best and worst side and yet he has stuck with me through it all. I adore him more than I do myself. I am truely amazed that he would ever submit to me and I treasure his service more everyday. His ultimate gift to me was joining in the creation of a little girl that I would do anything to protect.

So does this knowledge of me make me more human? Less of a troll?

MissTaken, yes you might have been the only one to initially receive my post with respect and not ridicule, as every other poster did. I agree, I should not have lumped you in with the rest. However, I will stand by my way of opening the discussion. The discussion has begun, has it not? I do appreciate your explanation of why you do not post as often as you used to and why you have chosen to "stick it out". I hope you do not mean to have me solve the problems of this forum. If I had those answers, you would have heard them by now. I would suggest that possibly slowing the tide of people leaving would be good. Pulling the people that used to post with greater frequency back would also be a good suggestion. I understand that no one person can fix these problems. Which is why I have made these posts.

WriterDom, giving us statistics of posts made here compared to posts made elsewhere does not make the forum any more successful. The rate of posting may or may not have increased, I would contend that it has decreased. But, what good is it if it is just more fluff posts? Does that really mean the community is moving forward? I daresy no, it just means it is more fluff. And sorry to disappoint you, no "pair" here. I think it is obvious that I do care about the forum, otherwise I would not have taken the time to make these posts at all. My interest is to turn the downward slide into an upward turn. That was kind of the point of my questions, to get people thinking about this, to take the next step and ask, "What can we do about it?" Maybe I should have been more blunt.

Oh, sparrow. The sarcasm in your post is so heavy, you literally beat me over the head with it. I will spare you any rebuke as I do not feel it will help either of us. I do apologize that my original questions were not worthy of your consideration.

RisiaSkye, ugh, where to begin. I think we understand that life has it's constraints, yours most of all. Few of us have the schedule you do. I will give you that. But when I compare the number of posts you do here, meaning this BDSM forum, and the posts you do elsewhere, not just on Literotica, I have to wonder. Of course, it is your life and you have needs and wants. But the evidence surely backs up both my statements about you. And that really is fine I believe. It is your life and surely not any of my or anyone else's business. But, I think if we were to compare the number of posts you *used* to make here with the number you *currently* make here, we would see a very large decline. So again, my statements about the forum being on a decline as well as the moderator not posting here as often are right on the money. In fact, I would go as far as saying you post in other forums more now. But I am sure this is a touchy subject, so it is probably best dropped. Besides, I believe a valid argument can be made that it is not the moderators duty to post exclusively in the forum he/she moderates, but rather a luxury. The important fact is that the moderators duties are still in fact being done, which I believe is true. I was happy to see the thread titled "A plug for RisiaSkye".

Yes, I agree, conversations ebb and flow. Maybe this forum is in a long, long ebb. A very long ebb. You pointed out about Shadowsdream being on vacation. Mmm, maybe it's just from this forum. I do enjoy reading her posts elsewhere almost daily. I do not blame people for coming and going. You are right. It is natural. However, I still contend that this BDSM forum is losing people at a greater rate than it is gaining new "recruits". Maybe I am the only person that can see the decline. That is a shame.

I am sorry you feel my interest is negative. It is not intended to be as such. I was, however, definitely met with negativity. Did I word my initial post harshly? Yes, I did. It was for impact only. I felt it was the best way to open some eyes. No, you are correct, I am not administration. I have chosen to speak from a position of anonymity on purpose. I apologize if you can not respect that. I do have my reasons. That does not however, mean that I do not care about the forum, or have not learned from it in the past, or that I have not contributed.

I will try to accept your statement that you do not want to dismiss me, but from the tone of your post, I kind of feel that is exactly what you want to do. I am not here expecting to be owed anything, trust me. I can see how it would be easy to just be lazy and jump to that conclusion. Question and berate the messenger, rather than just review the message. This forum surely does not owe me or anyone else here an explanation of why it is on the decline. It would be ridiculous to think so. Though, I would not doubt that you might view me as a quack who could think this. I have participated, I have made an effort, I have been productive. More so than most I would say. But yet, I still see a steady, constant decline.

And then you roll out the standard response when somebody in this forum questions anything about it. It is the old standard, "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out". That is sad. Someone that actually felt like fixing a problem would never suggest that course of action. Yes, you can quote me as saying that is my opinion. Unfortunately, it was not just you that suggested it.

MasterKensbeany, I realize you are new here and you seem like a pretty intelligent person. About your ramble about why you have never seen me: Well duh. Is the nick OutsideObserver registered? I daresay it is not. I have let you in on a little bit of my life above. Hopefully that will quell your curiosity, but to re-state, yes I have been here before and for quite a long time, yes I have contributed before, and yes I have learned a great deal here. And, yes I do care about this forum. My posts were never meant to cause a new "fracas". I would suggest you go back to my original post, replace my name with any other person's who posts here a lot, then re-read the post. Maybe it will appear differently to you then, because I think you, like many others here, are very hung up on the fact that I am not a registered user. So be it.

Ebonyfire, do you not care about my opinion because I am not a registered user? Or because it's an unpopular opinion? Or because you do not have my creditials? Your first words to me were "Bugger off asshole", and yet, suddenly I enjoy calling you names because I made light of your title? I will only say to you: listen to the message and ignore the messenger. As for your second post, you are right, I probably will not have much effect on this forum, certainly not when I am met with such narrow, closed minds. Yet again, you make an assumption about whether or not I like or dislike you. Does it matter either way? If I had began my initial post with "I worship the ground Ebonyfire walks on..." would you have treated me differently?

Never, Never, Never... you made me smile. Thank you.

Mr. Lancecaster, the Manager of the Waste. I never had a doubt you would not eventually appear. Those reasons you give are true compared to the way it was before the previous dispute or clash of wills as some may put it. Yet, now that all these good things have happened, why is the post frequency going down? Why are the topics less and less about BDSM and more about fluff? Why have so many people left? Was this change really for the better? Who can tell? As we saw today, the biggest interest of the day was a homophobic flamer which resulted in yet another one of your pet peevs. You can say the same people are still here, but I disagree. If they are indeed still here and reading, then this BDSM forum has become second or even third thought to them. This forum is the first thing to get scratched when they do not have the time.

SexyChele, thank you for recognizing me as your non-typical troll. My intents are not to ridicule this forum. It is good to see I am not the only one having these insights. I will agree with you that it should not be shut down completely. I was being a bit over dramatic in my post, but only so it would open peoples eyes. I am happy to see that it did that with some, disappointed in the closed-mindedness of others. But I have to ask, when does it stop having value, the forum I mean? How do you still know it has value? If 50% of people say yes it does? I think we can all agree this forum is not what it used to be. Therefore, I contend that it has indeed gone "downhill". But that is a small point to argue. How do we make it go "uphill" is probably the more important question to ask.

under where, you are new. I'm happy to see that you have been welcomed. You did indeed read it exactly the way it was intended.

vixenshe, thank you for stepping up and reaffirming that people do find value in this forum. You point out that you are a sub-in-learning. You have been on Literotica for some time as well. Have you found the content of this forum to be less fulfilling than in the past? I agree with you that this forum has merit and should indeed remain active. However, I think you can agree that it is not what it once was.

zipman7, yes I am quickly understanding that the main reason I've been met with ridicule and hostility is because I have not appeared under my registered name. As I have mentioned, I have my reasons. I've addressed many of your concerns above. Again, yes I agree forums like this undergo change, people come and go, conversations ebb and flow. My opinion, again, my opinion is that this is not the case here. I could be wrong. But I have raised the issue in hopes of getting some movement on hopefully fixing the problem. It can not be fix by just one person.

Hopefully now, some discussion can be had without the need to quibble over who I am. Maybe not. I leave it up to the forum. If I am wrong about the current state of affairs, then please forgive me and I will go about my affairs, or rather as MasterKensbeany eloquently states, I will not "let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."

Warmest regards.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Re: Who am I?

vixenshe, thank you for stepping up and reaffirming that people do find value in this forum. You point out that you are a sub-in-learning. You have been on Literotica for some time as well. Have you found the content of this forum to be less fulfilling than in the past? I agree with you that this forum has merit and should indeed remain active. However, I think you can agree that it is not what it once was.

I actually find that the forum is more open-minded than it once was. I have no true-to-life experience in submission, but rather, I'm learning from online dominants who teach me behaviour, who teach me respect, etc. WHen I first began posting about online domination, I was shunned because 'online wasn't REAL'. I don't agree with that, and I felt kinda crappy that, just cus I'm not ready to experience in real life, people thought it wasn't real submission, people thought it wasn't valid submission. In the last little while, people have become more understanding that online leads to RL, and it's a precursor to that RL experience that was so highly valued before. I've also found that this is becoming a place that is comfortable for people new to the lifestyle, more so than it was before. I feel more comfy here now that there's some fluff, because I don't feel quite so bogged down or intimidated by coming in here. It shows me that the people in here are as real as I am, that they can be silly and vacant sometimes, like me, and that's a comfort for someone who is/was intimidated by people so involved in the lifestyle.

 

[MissTaken]

Vixenshe?

Thank you for posting.

You made some points that I was hesitant to. It does feel a more welcome environment, but as someone who was here at the onset, I didn't feel it was my place to say so.

I am glad you feel comfortable here as I have long advocated that anyone with a serious interest in BDSM should be welcome and that their POV is valuable.

 

[Guest]

Does anyone have a link to where the really cool people ran off to?

 

[under where]

It's been confirmed. Now you're a jerk and I eat my words. Open season-

 

[MissTaken]

Does anyone have a link to where the really cool people ran off to?

Pm me for the link.

I would be happy to share.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Ah well. If a comment is only worthy when someone registered says it...

After watching this forum for a while as an outside observer, I have to wonder... does everyone think it's gone downhill? The main posters of the past are all gone (for whatever reason). Heck, the moderator rarely even comes here anymore. Most of the threads are fluff threads. The most interesting threads come from trolls such as ChillVodka. Would it not be better to just close the forum and lock it off? Does anyone really think this forum should exist anymore? And the bad blood from the past... heh... even those people involved in the fighting are not even around anymore. What does that tell you? So what keeps you here? Why keep a forum that is just wasted space? Just some commentary from someone on the outside.

I have been out of town for the last 2 days and just popped in to see what was new, something I routinely do, every couple of days anyway.

Sad to say, that to a degree, I agree with your assessment of this forum. It does seem to be on the decline. I do not, however agree that it should be closed. There are still many educational and entertaining threads to read here and there are still the few valiant ones who are attempting to keep it alive. For those posters and the lurkers and the new faces, this forum should remain intact.

I miss some posters, i.e. Shadowsdream and MsWorthy, to name a couple. But I am happy to see PB, Eb, Zip, SC and others continue to make impacts here. Because it is important to them, it has effects on the new faces and faceless lurkers that come in and out, every day.

Those posters who are doing their best to revive the forum should be given every opportunity to do so. As long as there are new daily posts and threads, nothing should change.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Vixenshe?

Thank you for posting.

You made some points that I was hesitant to. It does feel a more welcome environment, but as someone who was here at the onset, I didn't feel it was my place to say so.

I am glad you feel comfortable here as I have long advocated that anyone with a serious interest in BDSM should be welcome and that their POV is valuable.

I was reluctant to say those things, too, but it's honesty, and it deserved to be said. I really mean it, I feel more welcome when I don't have people telling me that OL isn't REAL.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Who am I?

Ok, yes, I admit some of my original questions/suggestions where extreme. They were meant to provoke some thought...

Oh, sparrow. The sarcasm in your post is so heavy, you literally beat me over the head with it. I will spare you any rebuke as I do not feel it will help either of us. I do apologize that my original questions were not worthy of your consideration.


Did I word my initial post harshly? Yes, I did. It was for impact only. I felt it was the best way to open some eyes.

I will only say to you: listen to the message and ignore the messenger.

Ditto - right back at you.

 

[MissTaken]

I do not feel like the forum is deteriorating.

I rather enjoy being able to come and post, openly and honestly, without fear of flame wars or retribution.

I am enjoying the more relaxed state we are in.

Sure, there is stuff posted I am not interested in, but hey...so it is on every board and every forum.

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Who am I?

So does this knowledge of me make me more human? Less of a troll?

I hope you do not mean to have me solve the problems of this forum. If I had those answers, you would have heard them by now.

It is your life and surely not any of my or anyone else's business. But, I think if we were to compare the number of posts you *used* to make here with the number you *currently* make here, we would see a very large decline. In fact, I would go as far as saying you post in other forums more now. But I am sure this is a touchy subject, so it is probably best dropped.

You pointed out about Shadowsdream being on vacation. Mmm, maybe it's just from this forum. I do enjoy reading her posts elsewhere almost daily. Maybe I am the only person that can see the decline. That is a shame.

I am not here expecting to be owed anything, trust me. I can see how it would be easy to just be lazy and jump to that conclusion. Question and berate the messenger, rather than just review the message. This forum surely does not owe me or anyone else here an explanation of why it is on the decline. It would be ridiculous to think so. Though, I would not doubt that you might view me as a quack who could think this. I have participated, I have made an effort, I have been productive. More so than most I would say.

It is the old standard, "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out". That is sad. Someone that actually felt like fixing a problem would never suggest that course of action. Yes, you can quote me as saying that is my opinion. Unfortunately, it was not just you that suggested it.

About your ramble about why you have never seen me: Well duh. Is the nick OutsideObserver registered? I daresay it is not. I think you, like many others here, are very hung up on the fact that I am not a registered user. So be it.

If I had began my initial post with "I worship the ground Ebonyfire walks on..." would you have treated me differently?

Why are the topics less and less about BDSM and more about fluff? Why have so many people left? Was this change really for the better? Who can tell?

I will agree with you that it should not be shut down completely. I was being a bit over dramatic in my post, but only so it would open peoples eyes. I am happy to see that it did that with some, disappointed in the closed-mindedness of others.

Again, yes I agree forums like this undergo change, people come and go, conversations ebb and flow. My opinion, again, my opinion is that this is not the case here. I could be wrong.

I leave it up to the forum. If I am wrong about the current state of affairs, then please forgive me and I will go about my affairs, or rather as MasterKensbeany eloquently states, I will not "let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."

Yep, still reeks of manipulation and holier-than-thou. And that was even leaving out all the mean, sarcastic plays on regular forum members names... as well as playing to the egos of other members.

 

[lark sparrow]

And I am on my 175th "The firewall has blocked Internet access to your computer (ICMP Echo Request ('Ping')) from XXXXXXX" just today from being logged onto this forum. How odd.

 

[Never]

Merry Merry Sparrow
Under leaves so green
A happy Blossom
Sees you swift as arrow
Seek your cradle narrow
Near my Bosom.

Pretty Pretty Robin
Under leaves so green
A happy Blossom
Hears you sobbing sobbing,
Pretty Pretty Robin
Near my Bosom.

Hello Outside Observer, thank you for a shout out. However, I left this form - and all of literotica for that matter - when college started up. I plan on being here through the holiday break and Jan Term and, if my grades are high enough after finals, I'll be posting on and off again until summer.

That said, forums are like money: Their value is based on the value people agree they have.

 

[lark sparrow]

Seems I may owe someone an apology.

When I came home last night from a night out and saw Never's post I assumed she was claiming responsibility for the creation of "Outside Observer". My apologies for that assumption, Never.

However, none offered to the "Outside Observer" who's spin is so (obviously) slick and slippery (in a slimey way) they cannot even stand on the (nameless) foundation they have created.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Who farted?

PBW "Chickenbutt"

 

[lark sparrow]

Who farted?

PBW "Chickenbutt"

Mmmmm, booty!

 

[P. B. Walker]

Mmmmm, booty!

LOL... back! Keep that strap-on back!

PBW

 

[lark sparrow]

LOL... back! Keep that strap-on back!

PBW

Giggles... I don't even own a harness, PBW. I just want to watch.