Commentary on the forum

[P. B. Walker]

Giggles... I don't even own a harness, PBW. I just want to watch.

::THUD:: No harness??!!! How is this possible? LOL... just teasing.

Hot fantasy for ya huh? That's cool.

Maybe Cuckhold will let ya watch... lol

PBW

 

[lark sparrow]

::THUD:: No harness??!!! How is this possible? LOL... just teasing.

Hot fantasy for ya huh? That's cool.

Maybe Cuckhold will let ya watch... lol

PBW

Hangs her head... I know, what kinda card-carrying lesbo wouldn't have a harness! I have had some lovely partners that owned one though.

LOL CBM likes it too much! I want the tension and suspense when I watch. Only a reluctant virgin will due.

lark <following the booty I like best> sparrow

 

[P. B. Walker]

Hangs her head... I know, what kinda card-carrying lesbo wouldn't have a harness! I have had some lovely partners that owned one though.

LOL CBM likes it too much! I want the tension and suspense when I watch. Only a reluctant virgin will due.

lark <following the booty I like best> sparrow

LMAO... yes, gawd. They should revoke your privileges.

While you don't own a harness, I'm guess you have a vast array of dildos and vibs... I think that is the most important part of the strap-on.


Ahhh... ya like to smell the fear in the air... smell the cold sweat... see the tremor in his limbs... listen to break in his voice... that squeal that fills the air as he's being "reamed"... LOL.

PBW "You're gonna be following for a long time my dear... hate to disappoint ya, especially when you still have time to find other prey"

 

[lark sparrow]

Ahhh... ya like to smell the fear in the air... smell the cold sweat... see the tremor in his limbs... listen to break in his voice... that squeal that fills the air as he's being "reamed"... LOL.

PBW "You're gonna be following for a long time my dear... hate to disappoint ya, especially when you still have time to find other prey"

LOL nah, you've got me all wrong. I want to see the beauty and delicacy of the power exchange, overcoming the fear and being reamed into pleasure.

I know your booty isn't available, but it's still nice one... you don't mind if I dream, do ya?

 

[Never]

No apologies needed sparrow.

 

[P. B. Walker]

LOL nah, you've got me all wrong. I want to see the beauty and delicacy of the power exchange, overcoming the fear and being reamed into pleasure.

I know your booty isn't available, but it's still nice one... you don't mind if I dream, do ya?

MMmmm that makes sense Course, I wouldn't be as turned on watching a guy submit... but a woman... oh yeah.

LOL... you haven't seen my booty yet... it could be really nasty

PBW "Uggh I ate too much for dinner..."

 

[Freya]

I bet it's a nice booty. I'll be buying a ticket to the show when Eb finally gets her hands (errr, strap on) on/in you.


In regards to the original topic here, being just a lurker and very occasional poster, I'm not really qualified to give an answer, but that's never stopped me before so.....

I have noticed a small decline, if you want to call it that, in this forum lately. It's different than it was a while back to be sure. But being different, as we all know, is not necessarily a bad thing. As with anything, this forum has changed a bit, evolved if you will, but it still offers the newbie a chance to learn, and the oldie a chance to interact about topics they know of, or are needing to know of. So it serves its purpose in its own fashion. And as long as people are still here, and learning, and interacting, I don't see a need for it to be closed down. Just because some older posters are no longer with it, does not mean that the ones who have taken their spots are any less worthy.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Re: Who am I?

WriterDom, giving us statistics of posts made here compared to posts made elsewhere does not make the forum any more successful. The rate of posting may or may not have increased, I would contend that it has decreased. But, what good is it if it is just more fluff posts? Does that really mean the community is moving forward?

I think you suffer from the same problem many of the old Guard did--you want to control the content too much. Just because you (or anyone else) doesn't find it particularly useful or fun doesn't invalidate it.

RisiaSkye, ugh, where to begin. I think we understand that life has it's constraints, yours most of all. Few of us have the schedule you do. I will give you that. But when I compare the number of posts you do here, meaning this BDSM forum, and the posts you do elsewhere, not just on Literotica, I have to wonder.

Since I only participate in one other BB, I can only assume you mean KT. And my total posts in their BDSM forum number somewhere around 20. So, *I* have to wonder if you're smoking crack. Don't compare apples and oranges--my post total at KT is across the entire BB system, and it's mostly generic babble, because I go there to unwind.

Not to mention, didn't you just finish admonishing WD that post total says nothing about content or quality? Pick an argument and stick with it, for crissakes. Your argumentational ground is shiftier than Lance on a quad cappucino.

Besides, I believe a valid argument can be made that it is not the moderators duty to post exclusively in the forum he/she moderates, but rather a luxury. The important fact is that the moderators duties are still in fact being done, which I believe is true.

Yes, there are two further reasons I don't much post here anymore. On that count, you're right. here they are:
1) It's easier to moderate this forum when my name isn't all over as a poster. That seemed to cause some of the problems in the big drama over the summer.

2) This forum no longer meets my discussion needs, much of the time. It's become a place very useful and helpful for those who participate in online BDSM. I am not of them, and do not care to discuss it as there's no place for online roleplay in my BDSM sexuality. That's not a value judgement, just a dose of reality. Onliners need a home, too.

I am not here expecting to be owed anything, trust me. I can see how it would be easy to just be lazy and jump to that conclusion.

My opinions are not based in laziness, but I *do* disagree with your characterization of the forum, and the value judgements which seem to inform it. Amazingly enough, one can have thought through the issue and still disagree with one as learned as yourself. Arrogant much?

And then you roll out the standard response when somebody in this forum questions anything about it. It is the old standard, "don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out". That is sad. Someone that actually felt like fixing a problem would never suggest that course of action.

I disagree, heartily. I've put more hours into steering and managing and participating in this forum than any other person still here. Your annoyingly off-base claims and reductive generalizations are beginning to get on my nerves.

In short: I'm tired of playing with you now, as it's become Pure drivel. So, I'm done doing so.

Best of luck to you in your Quality Control Campaign,
RS
Too tired to play nice

 

[P. B. Walker]

Re: Re: Who am I?

2) This forum no longer meets my discussion needs, much of the time. It's become a place very useful and helpful for those who participate in online BDSM. I am not of them, and do not care to discuss it as there's no place for online roleplay in my BDSM sexuality. That's not a value judgement, just a dose of reality. Onliners need a home, too.

I generally don't follow these types of threads mainly because they don't interest me much and they never solve anything. They usually go like this: A troll posts a theory, and everyone jumps down their throat. Doesn't matter if it's a poor argument or the most brilliant theory you've ever seen. And even if it's a good point, what the hell are we gonna do? Yanno? lol. I mean please. Start having forum improvement meetings? Pfffth.

But I did find this tidbit kinda interesting. All we are about is online BDSM? Damn. I'm in the wrong room again. When did this happen? Can I ask, where did you get this from Risia?

I look at the current page of topics and I see this set of topics (cutting out joke threads or silly threads or troll threads):

- Strap-ons
- subs going thru Doms quickly
- orgasm denial
- training an ass to take a dildo
- collaring
- butt plug lost
- more butt stuff
- toys for x-mas
- slugs and snails
- *** Online D/s *****
- Male subs
- Cages
- Tender spot for spanking
- Remote control!! yeah baby
- nipple piercing
- More butt training
- Buttplugs

Ok, with the exception of the topic with the ***'s next to it, they are all real life BDSM topics.

Maybe it's just me... <shrug> And it probably is, I mean, ya can't really be considered serious if you don't do daily real life BDSM.

PBW "Like I always say: Generalizing is good in theory, but it never works in the real world"

 

[bunny bondage]

yeah! i don't do any online bdsm, just skin to skin. and i like it here! it's someplace where i can celebrate my little sexual escapades with people who understand. so nnnnn! *sticks out tounge*

 

[SexyChele]

Re: Re: Who am I?

2) This forum no longer meets my discussion needs, much of the time. It's become a place very useful and helpful for those who participate in online BDSM. I am not of them, and do not care to discuss it as there's no place for online roleplay in my BDSM sexuality. That's not a value judgement, just a dose of reality. Onliners need a home, too.

I have to go along with this line. Yes, I know that there are still a few folks here who engage in skin to skin, and every once in a while an interesting topic does appear. But, sadly, it usually devolves into flirtations, chasing trolls, or attempting to get PBW to give up his anal virginity. (Not that I wouldn't want to see that either, but, hey, after the 4th go round it got a little old, ya know?

When I come here, I usually only read the first few posts of any thread that might interest me. After that, it simply becomes one of the three listed above. And quite frankly, I can do that anywhere at Lit, with a much larger population. I mean, really check out the thread "Training an ass to take a dildo." It has one half of the first page that might give some interesting info. The rest? Not worth the time to read it, unless you are one of the posters who is engaging in the firtations.

I'm glad that this forum suits the needs of those who come here regularly. It is obviously needed. But I do think that those of us who have differing opinions do have the right to express them. Whether we be registered or not.

 

[P. B. Walker]

I guess I stand rebluffed

I suppose you are right. Since I'm not into online BDSM, I now have to wonder why I'm even here... mmm.

PBW "Time to shut it... "

 

[SexyChele]

I suppose you are right. Since I'm not into online BDSM, I now have to wonder why I'm even here... mmm.

That's easy - you're here 'cause you drive the women wild. And you enjoy it as much they do!

But, then, coyness in some men is certainly attractive...

 

[P. B. Walker]

That's easy - you're here 'cause you drive the women wild. And you enjoy it as much they do!

But, then, coyness in some men is certainly attractive...

Yeah, but now ya got me thinkin. Uh oh.. big mistake there...

PBW

 

[zipman]

Re: Who am I?

<snip>

zipman7, yes I am quickly understanding that the main reason I've been met with ridicule and hostility is because I have not appeared under my registered name. As I have mentioned, I have my reasons. I've addressed many of your concerns above. Again, yes I agree forums like this undergo change, people come and go, conversations ebb and flow. My opinion, again, my opinion is that this is not the case here. I could be wrong. But I have raised the issue in hopes of getting some movement on hopefully fixing the problem. It can not be fix by just one person.

Hopefully now, some discussion can be had without the need to quibble over who I am. Maybe not. I leave it up to the forum. If I am wrong about the current state of affairs, then please forgive me and I will go about my affairs, or rather as MasterKensbeany eloquently states, I will not "let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."

Warmest regards.

Actually, I think the fact that you posted as unreg wasn't as much the reason for the early hostility of the replies to you as was the arrogant and condescending nature of your posts. your Consider the title of your second post on this thread. "Bow, as I have returned." But some of us gave you the benefit of the doubt anyway.

You seem to think you are doing some great civic duty by starting a discussion on this topic. Perhaps it could have been a positive conversation had you handled it differently. However, your remarks about KT show that you are simply trying to stir up some shit. Shadowsdream has been on vacation from there as well, and has posted a few times over the last two months. So why mention KT and your participation there if not to stir some shit? There's no reason. If your intent was good reading on BDSM, why complain about this place. If all the great posters are there, why care about this forum at all? The fact that you needed to raise KT on this thread shows your true intent in my book.

Therefore, I won't waste any more time on replying to you.

It would seem, the real waste of space is this thread, and your "wonderful contributions to our community.

I can indeed differentiate between the messenger and the message. Unfortunately, in your case, they are the same thing. Best to listen to Masterkensbeany's advice about watching where the door hits you.

 

[skye in silk]

I guess I stand rebluffed

I suppose you are right. Since I'm not into online BDSM, I now have to wonder why I'm even here... mmm.

hmmm i don't participate in skin to skin. understand that this makes me unworthy of comment in some people's eyes therefore i don't comment much. but i read and lurk and learn. i have found this forum to be totally focused on Real Life BDSM and understand that i can't participate in most threads because of it. (the one and only thread i posted was a question asking about the validity of online in D/s...and frankly i was suprised with the response)

funny that thread ended up the same way...with a Dream Drama...a PBW ass search etc. like most other threads here. i do read daily, but mostly the library...the wealth of info there is amazing.

on a side note. i have found it interesting that People have to prove their worth here to be considered worthy of response. Why must one defend their stance on things, their viewpoints by responding if they are real, how many years in the lifestyle, if they are regulars here? this is the only forum where the conversations about the validity of ones postings outweigh the postings themselves. could someone explain this to me? if you don't like someone's postings...don't respond. yet "trolls" or "flame" posts get 101 posts telling them to go away...or how wrong they are, etc.

this post is not meant to flame...but i am wondering why this phenomena occurs?

Thanks Skye

 

[mistresssilkeng]

on a side note. i have found it interesting that People have to prove their worth here to be considered worthy of response. Why must one defend their stance on things, their viewpoints by responding if they are real, how many years in the lifestyle, if they are regulars here? this is the only forum where the conversations about the validity of ones postings outweigh the postings themselves. could someone explain this to me? if you don't like someone's postings...don't respond. yet "trolls" or "flame" posts get 101 posts telling them to go away...or how wrong they are, etc.

this post is not meant to flame...but i am wondering why this phenomena occurs?

Thanks Skye

I have not been posting long but i agree with some of your points Skye. I find it amusing sometimes to pick on the trolls, or to argue a flaming post. It may just be boredom, or amusement that leads to these long threads in response to such a posting but that is just My reasoning. I am not a regular here, nor do i have years of real life experience, but i don't think that makes My opinion less valid than someone elses. Also, i stay away from r/l threads that i have not personally tried or experienced as i have very little to offer in way of comments. Still the short while i have posted on this site i have enjoyed the variety in posts and threads, and i hope that it remains fun and informative.

Silken

 

[P. B. Walker]

hmmm i don't participate in skin to skin. understand that this makes me unworthy of comment in some people's eyes therefore i don't comment much. but i read and lurk and learn. i have found this forum to be totally focused on Real Life BDSM and understand that i can't participate in most threads because of it. (the one and only thread i posted was a question asking about the validity of online in D/s...and frankly i was suprised with the response)

I'm kind of in between myself. I have done the whole online BDSM thing and yes, it was a great learning experience. But I want more now. Have I moved on to skin-to-skin yet? Not fully. At least not as far as I want to. But I'm not going to just jump in with anyone, so it's pretty slow going.

My thoughts are this: Yes, you are kinda looked down on by some here if you do not participate in skin-to-skin. Yes, I think talking about online BDSM has a place here. But I don't feel that this place is ONLY about online BDSM. But as some have pointed out, I guess it really is. As for the skin-to-skin BDSM, I think we still have a fair share of people that engage in it. Yes, we lost alot of people that do it. But, I still look at the threads and see plenty of discussion about it. Maybe it's not enough for someone as advanced as Risia. Now that I do go back and look at the threads, I admit I can see why her and other people are not around much anymore.

I'm not exactly sure where this place is going. Maybe it's just mellowing out and moving away from the more hardcore BDSM that the experienced skin-to-skin BDSM need and want to discuss. That could explain the change in membership. I have no idea where it's really going. These recent posts do have me questioning myself and why I am here and what I do contribute, if anything.

funny that thread ended up the same way...with a Dream Drama...a PBW ass search etc. like most other threads here. i do read daily, but mostly the library...the wealth of info there is amazing.

Now that I've gone back and read this entire thread, I see you are not the first to mention this. I had not realized I was bringing the forum down so much. I'll fix this ricky-tick! I apologize.

on a side note. i have found it interesting that People have to prove their worth here to be considered worthy of response. Why must one defend their stance on things, their viewpoints by responding if they are real, how many years in the lifestyle, if they are regulars here? this is the only forum where the conversations about the validity of ones postings outweigh the postings themselves. could someone explain this to me? if you don't like someone's postings...don't respond. yet "trolls" or "flame" posts get 101 posts telling them to go away...or how wrong they are, etc.

I could not agree more with you on this point. Oddly enough, this has gotten better. Meaning that it's less like this that it once was. In the past, I would never have posted like I do now. In fact, I've been stomped several times for posting. So, in that respect it has gotten tons better, believe me.

I think anytime you get on a topic like this, BDSM, that involves so much learning by trying, you will run into this kind of behavior. I mean, imagine if we were talking about working on old cars. You'd have men and women in here arguing until their skin was blue. "I know more than you", "No, I'm the master", blah, blah blah. So, I don't think this kind of behavior will ever go away. It's best to just live with it and try not to ruffle feathers as you go along.

PBW

 

[lark sparrow]

funny that thread ended up the same way...with a Dream Drama...a PBW ass search etc.

Definitely fluffy, but not entirely un-BDSM-related. I believe it was MissT who mentioned that just a couple of weeks back she felt the forum was too serious. Ebb and flow... that's how it goes.

This is an online forum, I don't care how much BDSM skin-to-skin you are practicing, when you are online, you're more than likely not practicing skin-to-skin BDSM at this very moment, yes? Onliners need a place too seems an odd statement when we are all online. Every single person who practices BDSM r/l has just as much power here to post a topic that they find interesting and worthy, as does the person who only practices online, and everyone in between - which would probably be the majority here, and I think that if you go back and look through the library you will find that only a couple of people actually had years upon years of BDSM experience then too.

I have read the library and there were many great discussions, but I have to disagree that most of the regular posters were indeed practicing BDSM skin-to-skin in r/l relationships. Perhaps they were more focused on talking about it, but I could point out many who contributed much and had no experience r/l. Perhaps they expressed themselves better, took the topics more seriously, and were more of a cohesive group with a strict and ever present leader who actually had many years r/l experience.

Growing pains... the absence of said leadership... lack of focus, perhaps. But I fail to see that this has become a place of online role-playing - go to a D/s chat room and eyes will be opened quickly.

 

[zipman]

Definitely fluffy, but not entirely un-BDSM-related. I believe it was MissT who mentioned that just a couple of weeks back she felt the forum was too serious. Ebb and flow... that's how it goes.

This is an online forum, I don't care how much BDSM skin-to-skin you are practicing, when you are online, you're more than likely not practicing skin-to-skin BDSM at this very moment, yes? Onliners need a place too seems an odd statement when we are all online. Every single person who practices BDSM r/l has just as much power here to post a topic that they find interesting and worthy, as does the person who only practices online, and everyone in between - which would probably be the majority here, and I think that if you go back and look through the library you will find that only a couple of people actually had years upon years of BDSM experience then too.

I have read the library and there were many great discussions, but I have to disagree that most of the regular posters were indeed practicing BDSM skin-to-skin in r/l relationships. Perhaps they were more focused on talking about it, but I could point out many who contributed much and had no experience r/l. Perhaps they expressed themselves better, took the topics more seriously, and were more of a cohesive group with a strict and ever present leader who actually had many years r/l experience.

Growing pains... the absence of said leadership... lack of focus, perhaps. But I fail to see that this has become a place of online role-playing - go to a D/s chat room and eyes will be opened quickly.

I have to agree with everything you wrote here, lark sparrow. Personally, I don't quite see this continued bias against on-line BDSM'ers.

My own view is that on-line is very different than r/l. I think it can be useful for the following things:
1) Learning about the lifestyle (concepts and lingo)
2) Meeting others with experience for dating or knowledge sharing
3) Having fun

All of those are good things. However, when you get right down to it, in most cases, BDSM takes on a more potentially dangerous flavor when the interactions are not sererated by a computer, modem and phoneline. It is in r/l where accidents can happen and r/l where things can go wrong. That aspect certainly "raises the stakes." Is there a difference between an online (only) Dom/me and a r/l (only) Dom/me. I believe there is.

The need to "validate" someones experience is beneficial in two instances. The first instance is a case like the starter of this thread. Regardless of their experience, the threadstarter would have lent credibility to their discussion by posting as themselves. As it is, her comments come across as someone starting trouble for the sake of stirring some shit, not as a legitimate attempt to stimulate dialog. If not, she still does not see that her choice of commentary (which was at times antagonistic, judgemental and overly sarcastic) did not help her achieve a productive dialog.

The second instance is when that person is offering viewpoints on the lifestyle in a forum such as this. An online only Dom claiming that safewords are useless hasn't yet experienced a scene where the sub was not in the psychological state they thought they were in. So from that regard, experience with r/l BDSM does present a very different viewpoint, and a potentially important one for the newbie just starting out.


As for this forum, I feel it is going through a change. What kind of change and what that means depends on how those of us in the forum behave and react to this change. It can be for the better, or it could for the worse.

The thread starter seems to be saying the sky is falling. So far, it I don't see it falling, it's just another color.

 

[MissTaken]

Another piece of the online versus real life issue that seems to be neglected is that there is a discrimination between two people meeting on line for purposes of meeting in real life and two people who enter into a relationship on line that will remain strictly on line.

Zip? Online D/s may have an additional benefit. I do believe that subs can get a sense of power exchange vis a vis on line relationships. If their head and heart are in it, the power exchange can exist sans the B/S...as in BDSM. Even then, there are means by which the power exchange can be used long distance to have a sub self inflict some pieces bondage and masochism. (I don't recommend it without trust and personal experience.) For those for whom this type of relationship is what you want, enjoy.

Now, as to the issue at hand, I believe this forum is wide open to any translation of BDSM,. Why? Because I have no idea who is in real time relationships or long distance or on line. You all bring your own flavor, insight and color to the forum.

 

[zipman]

Another piece of the online versus real life issue that seems to be neglected is that there is a discrimination between two people meeting on line for purposes of meeting in real life and two people who enter into a relationship on line that will remain strictly on line.

Zip? Online D/s may have an additional benefit. I do believe that subs can get a sense of power exchange vis a vis on line relationships. If their head and heart are in it, the power exchange can exist sans the B/S...as in BDSM. Even then, there are means by which the power exchange can be used long distance to have a sub self inflict some pieces bondage and masochism. (I don't recommend it without trust and personal experience.) For those for whom this type of relationship is what you want, enjoy.

Now, as to the issue at hand, I believe this forum is wide open to any translation of BDSM,. Why? Because I have no idea who is in real time relationships or long distance or on line. You all bring your own flavor, insight and color to the forum.

That's a good addition MissT. I think on-line can play a valuable role. I know of some subs who cannot bring themselves to submit in r/l, but do so from the somewhat safer realm of on-line.

Personally, I have never done on-line nor do I have a desire to. I need the greater levels of excitement and physical control that r/l affords me. But I don't discount on-line, that was my point.

 

[MissTaken]

But I don't discount on-line, that was my point.

I knew that!

 

[pierced_boy]

OutsideObserver

OO even your name gets it wrong. You are clearly not out side nor are you observing very well.

If you had been observing you will have seen mature folk coming and going as they please discussing things that interest them. Just what a BB is for!

Many take heart and interest from the discussion here without needing hystrionics. You don't seem to be one of them.

To paraphrase one of the departed "if you don't like it move on".

Get youself registered then bring some "good" discusion here. I am sure we will all enjoy it.

Harry

 

[WriterDom]

I think a major shortcoming of the forum is that BDSM is too broad of a subject for one forum. Take a look at bondage.com sometime. Their discussion homepage is larger than Lit's. Here everything is thrown in together. What would draw experienced people to this forum when there are better alternatives elsewhere?