Concerned husband needs advice - Set up wife with her cousin?

[BillTheKatt90]

I have been lurking/reading/following your discussion. I would be beside myself with worry and concern if I were in your shoes.
I wanted to tell you that I find your concern for your wife and your careful and thoughtful analysis to be signs of a strong character.

My urologists says 90-94% of men die with prostate cancer. Not from but with.

My grandfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer in his late 70s. He died a few months before his 100th birthday. Yes he had cancer, but really he died of OLD.

I am sorry that yours was not the kind of prostate cancer that we men all eventually end up with.

Please keep posting when you can.

 

[LordRahl2]

Thanks for all the insightful comments and advice. My wife and I have been having discussions almost daily on this topic. I can see she's very excited and intrigued with the idea. Like I mentioned earlier, even before my current condition, I was never able to match her sex drive when I was in good health. We've discussed a lot about the potential issues and we're certain that our marriage is strong. She's also very sure about this being just about sexual satisfaction. She's not looking for any romantic entanglements. We're both ready for her to take the next step, provided she gets the right guy.

That's easier said than done, since both of us are very busy with our professional lives and rarely have any social life outside of our family and colleagues. She has quite a few co-workers who flirt with her, but it's all in a joking/friendly way. We're not sure if any of them would be serious about it, or if it's a good idea to have a fling within the office. I have asked her to think of her options for now, if she's confused then I might suggest her cousin.

 

[Nylonian]

Thanks for all the insightful comments and advice. My wife and I have been having discussions almost daily on this topic. I can see she's very excited and intrigued with the idea. Like I mentioned earlier, even before my current condition, I was never able to match her sex drive when I was in good health. We've discussed a lot about the potential issues and we're certain that our marriage is strong. She's also very sure about this being just about sexual satisfaction. She's not looking for any romantic entanglements. We're both ready for her to take the next step, provided she gets the right guy.

That's easier said than done, since both of us are very busy with our professional lives and rarely have any social life outside of our family and colleagues. She has quite a few co-workers who flirt with her, but it's all in a joking/friendly way. We're not sure if any of them would be serious about it, or if it's a good idea to have a fling within the office. I have asked her to think of her options for now, if she's confused then I might suggest her cousin.

Probably not a good idea to have a fling in the office if you two both have professional careers to consider. I would definitely encourage her to pursue something casual with her cousin though. Keep us updated.

 

[policywank]

Thanks for all the insightful comments and advice. My wife and I have been having discussions almost daily on this topic. I can see she's very excited and intrigued with the idea. Like I mentioned earlier, even before my current condition, I was never able to match her sex drive when I was in good health. We've discussed a lot about the potential issues and we're certain that our marriage is strong. She's also very sure about this being just about sexual satisfaction. She's not looking for any romantic entanglements. We're both ready for her to take the next step, provided she gets the right guy.

That's easier said than done, since both of us are very busy with our professional lives and rarely have any social life outside of our family and colleagues. She has quite a few co-workers who flirt with her, but it's all in a joking/friendly way. We're not sure if any of them would be serious about it, or if it's a good idea to have a fling within the office. I have asked her to think of her options for now, if she's confused then I might suggest her cousin.

It sounds like you have had healthy communication. As others have said things will not follow a prescribed path once they get going and it can be difficult to put the genie back in the bottle. So I would suggest limit the rules and invest in making sure you have a deep understanding about what works for both of you - trust in her judgment will be much more important than any given set of rules. For instance, it makes sense that she doesn't want romantic entanglements, but when those things arise it is not usually the case that there is a clear and identifiable line that has been crossed. You can't be certain that challenges won't arise so judgment on her part will be required and the judgment can't be clouded by emotions or orgasms.

The work colleague thing is an interesting one and it leads to another question. How do you feel about whether this other man knows that you are aware that he is having sex with your wife? I think that there is a natural concern about having a sexual relationship with a work colleague because if things go wrong you will have to see that person regularly. But it has been my observation that things usually only go wrong if communication and expectations aren't very clear or if there is an inappropriate power dynamic. I have had sexual dalliances with work colleagues or clients on several occasions and it has sort of worked in my favour because I have made it utterly clear that we are having a sexual only relationship and it is critical to everyone's situation and reputation that it be kept very discrete. The key for me starts with not assuming anything - no matter how obvious it might seem I make it explicit that it is a sexual relationship and will never be anything more. It also includes avoiding guys that are lovesick or looking for a replacement for an unhappy relationship. I also present myself as a sexual person that a man would not realistically expect to be seeking sexual exclusivity (not strictly necessary but helpful). And I assume that I will develop some feelings for my sexual partner - not romantic entanglement but not indifference either. A woman wants to like her lovers and have some mental and emotional connection.

Those things help frame the situation with any guy. But for someone in my immediate orbit they also mitigate the risk of something going wrong to the point that the compelled discretion becomes a net benefit.

 

[LordRahl2]

After weighing all options, my wife admitted that having an affair with a co-worker is not a good idea. She didn't want to risk anyone at her office knowing about this. It'd also be awkward to work with the same guy in case they called it off later.

She asked for my advice and I subtly suggested her cousin. Turns out, she had considered him as most suitable, but is apprehensive about the whole incest thing. I convinced her that it's incest in letter but not in spirit. They have the same great-great-grandfather but it's separate family branches after that.

Before proceeding further, she asked me to find out if her cousin is interested in her. I think we both know that he is, but she wants to be sure before she approaches him. She doesn't want to embarrass herself in case he's not interested.

We also discussed and agreed that we'll let him know about my knowledge/approval. She doesn't want to lie about it and come across as a cheater. Once they get started, it'll mostly happen in his apartment and ours. Would be stupid to pretend that I don't know.

I'll be talking to him next time to gauge his interest. I am still not comfortable with him knowing about my condition of non-performance, so I may tell him some other reason why she's seeking sex outside marriage.

 

[curioustxn]

After weighing all options, my wife admitted that having an affair with a co-worker is not a good idea. She didn't want to risk anyone at her office knowing about this. It'd also be awkward to work with the same guy in case they called it off later.

She asked for my advice and I subtly suggested her cousin. Turns out, she had considered him as most suitable, but is apprehensive about the whole incest thing. I convinced her that it's incest in letter but not in spirit. They have the same great-great-grandfather but it's separate family branches after that.

Before proceeding further, she asked me to find out if her cousin is interested in her. I think we both know that he is, but she wants to be sure before she approaches him. She doesn't want to embarrass herself in case he's not interested.

We also discussed and agreed that we'll let him know about my knowledge/approval. She doesn't want to lie about it and come across as a cheater. Once they get started, it'll mostly happen in his apartment and ours. Would be stupid to pretend that I don't know.

I'll be talking to him next time to gauge his interest. I am still not comfortable with him knowing about my condition of non-performance, so I may tell him some other reason why she's seeking sex outside marriage.

You mentioned that you and her cousin are *good buddies*. I would suggest that since you and he are good friends, just go to him and tell him that you have a question that you would like to keep private. Then explain your situation that you can no longer perform sexually, and ask him if he would be interested in taking your place with your wife sexually.

Although an unusual request, if he is a good friend like you say, he will understand. Life is not always fair, and these things do happen, and being the case, both you and your wife are going to be a lot better off with someone you know and trust, than someone who may become a problem down the road.

If he is receptive, invite him over for dinner one evening, and the *three* of you discuss the situation. There is no point in lying to him, sooner or later he is going to find out why you are asking him to take your place sexually. Lying to a friend is a good way to lose a friend. Although an unusual situation, communication and honesty is the key. It avoids misunderstandings. It's better if your wife's lover knows and accepts your and her limits.

Just a thought, but something you should think about: Are *you* going to be able to deal with this down the road?

 

[LordRahl2]

Last night, wife's cousin visited us for a drink. My wife wore a more than usual revealing dress. I could see him constantly eyeing her as we had a few drinks. She left us alone to drink and talk. He told me how lucky I am to have such a hot and sexy wife. I knew he was slightly drunk as he was quite open with his admiration for my wife. I remarked that I wished I could give her the satisfaction she deserved.

He asked what I meant by that. I confessed about my condition and the situation I and my wife are in. I told him we're looking for a safe and suitable sexual partner for her. His eyes were wide and he sat at the edge of his seat listening attentively. My wife had asked me not to tell him that he was our best and only choice at the moment. She wanted to know if he was truly interested. So I played it cool and casually asked his opinion.

He was sympathetic to my condition and also felt bad for my wife. His body language suggested that he was very interested to be my wife's partner, but was decent enough to enquire about my health and ask about other alternatives I might have tried. I told him we're sure about taking this step but couldn't find someone trustworthy. Finally, he suggested himself and said he'd be honoured to have such an opportunity.

I said I'll discuss with my wife and let him know. After he left, my wife was very happy when I told her about it. We talked about how she wants to proceed. Simply getting into the room and having sex sounds very clinical to her. She wants to take some time and seduce her cousin. She said it'd make her feel sexy and desirable. I'd be out of town early next month for a 3-4 days. I suggested she spend that time with him and see where that leads to.

She's good with that idea of seducing him while I am away. It'll make her more comfortable and less self-conscious without me around, atleast for this initial phase. She has asked me not to reveal anything to her cousin and let him think she's still contemplating. That guy's in for a huge surprise!

 

[curioustxn]

Just a suggestion, but it might be a good idea to invite him over one evening for dinner, (perhaps shortly before you leave on your trip), and the three of you discuss this arrangement like mature adults. For this to work, both he and your wife need to be very comfortable that you really are OK with this arrangement. Also, both he and your wife need to understand there are limits. One limit: she is *your* wife, and will remain so. A mature and open conversation will help avoid misunderstanding down the road.

Also in another conversation with just her cousin, (if it were me), I would make the point that for sex to be good for your wife, she needs to feel cared for, not just a hump-and-dump. I would also suggest to him that after you leave for your trip, he and your wife send the afternoon together, just talking and getting comfortable with each other before heading to the bedroom. Have lunch together, talk, whatever, just being relaxed with each other. Sex will be much better for her when they are both relaxed, not feeling pressure to perform.

Depending on your wife's personality, but if she is a tad bit submissive in the bedroom, I would suggest to her that she not try to seduce him, but let him seduce her. For some women, sex is much better when the man takes charge. If you feel sex would be better for her if he seduced her, (rather than the other way around), when you talk with him, suggest that he needs to take his time seducing her, and make her feel desirable.

Your motives would suggest this will be a long-term arrangement, and being so, you wife is going to feel a lot better about it in the long-term if she feels desired, rather than just getting fucked.

One thing to watch for: If this first encounter between your wife and her lover goes well, (and it should be good for her), she may have some conflicting emotions. If this happens, just be patient with her and let her work through her emotions, and in time, she will come to realize that a woman has the capacity to love more than one man.

Just some thoughts.........

 

[curioustxn]

After re-reading my previous comment, I thought maybe I should clarify my point.

The reason I suggested that you set this up, rather than letting your wife break the news to him by seducing him, is because in my opinion, you need to maintain control of this arrangement. Not control in a D/s or M/s sort of way, but both your wife and her cousin need to feel beholding to you for allowing this arrangement. Down the road, you don't want either of them to start thinking they don't need you. This is your wife and your home, and both of them need to recognize their limits in this arrangement.

If it were me, I would continue my friendship with her cousin, same as before, and continue having sex with her the same as before. For the health of your marriage, and your friendship with her cousin, the only thing that needs to change is that her cousin is filling in sexually where you can't. I would let them have freedom to do whatever they please in the bedroom, (within reason), but everything else needs to remain the same.

It might seem a little weird to them for a while, but they will adjust, and in the end, your relationship with both of them might even improve. After all, you are allowing them a pleasure that few other men would even consider, and because of that, they both need to recognize that you are the head-of-the-household. As I said, somewhere down the road, you don't want either of them to start thinking they don't need you.

You either control your own destiny, or destiny controls you!

Just my thoughts..............

 

[LordRahl2]

The reason I suggested that you set this up, rather than letting your wife break the news to him by seducing him, is because in my opinion, you need to maintain control of this arrangement. Not control in a D/s or M/s sort of way, but both your wife and her cousin need to feel beholding to you for allowing this arrangement. Down the road, you don't want either of them to start thinking they don't need you. This is your wife and your home, and both of them need to recognize their limits in this arrangement.

If it were me, I would continue my friendship with her cousin, same as before, and continue having sex with her the same as before. For the health of your marriage, and your friendship with her cousin, the only thing that needs to change is that her cousin is filling in sexually where you can't. I would let them have freedom to do whatever they please in the bedroom, (within reason), but everything else needs to remain the same.

It might seem a little weird to them for a while, but they will adjust, and in the end, your relationship with both of them might even improve. After all, you are allowing them a pleasure that few other men would even consider, and because of that, they both need to recognize that you are the head-of-the-household. As I said, somewhere down the road, you don't want either of them to start thinking they don't need you.

Completely agree with you. That's a good suggestion. My wife and I are definitely planning to sit down with her cousin and discuss everything. But she's not too keen on doing it at the moment. She wants to tease and seduce him first and let him woo her. She doesn't want him to think that he's the only option or that he's doing us a favour. He's a decent enough guy but she doesn't want him to get cocky.

For now she wants to handle this on her own. Once I leave on my trip, she'll spend some time with him and move forward with the teasing and seduction. Before any physical intimacy, she'll lay the ground rules which we've already discussed. When I get back, all 3 of us will have an open conversation and plan ahead.

One thing to watch for: If this first encounter between your wife and her lover goes well, (and it should be good for her), she may have some conflicting emotions. If this happens, just be patient with her and let her work through her emotions, and in time, she will come to realize that a woman has the capacity to love more than one man.

Just some thoughts.........

This is where he being her cousin helps. Both of them already have an emotional connection and care for each other. Being cousins, they're least likely to get romantic feelings. She said she'll take a step back or call it off altogether, if either she or her lover starts having romantic feelings for each other. I trust her judgement and will fully support her when she needs it.

 

[ExpRider]

Hello everyone,

Wanted to share my current situation with you all and get some opinions, advice, thoughts etc.

I am a 40 year old man. My wife is 35. We’ve been married for the last 10 years. She’s a very sexual person. It’s been difficult for me to keep up with her, but I have tried to keep her satisfied. Unfortunately, about 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with severe diabetes and hypertension. My physical ailments coupled with my stressful job has led to an embarrassing decline in my performance in bed. I haven’t been able to get erections. When I do, it’s been difficult to sustain it.

My lovely wife has been patient with me and has been very loving and caring, but I can sense her frustration. I do take care of her needs through my fingers, tongue or a vibrator. It can’t replace the feel of being fucked by a hard cock, though. I know she misses it and that makes me feel guilty of not being able to satisfy her through intercourse.

One of my wife’s distant cousin moved into our city few months back. He is 36 and unmarried. My wife and he are very close having grown up in the same neighborhood. She speaks very fondly of him and had even admitted to having a crush on him during her college years. I’ve seen a twinkle in her eyes when he’s around. She still looks at him that way when he visits us.

He and I have become good buddies ever since he moved into the city. He comes over every Saturday evening for a drink and both of us talk about several topics of mutual interest. Over the past couple of months, we’ve spoken a few times about my wife. With the buzz of alcohol, he has confessed about finding my wife very attractive and told me how lucky I am. He even lightly flirts with her and I’ve seen her enjoy the attention.

This has got me thinking. My wife’s sexual needs are not being fully satisfied. I don’t want to push her to desperation where she may be tempted at having an affair. I am not selfish to keep her caged while not being able to satisfy her myself. I never had much libido to begin with. If she and her cousin get together, if they want to, it’s completely fine with me, they’d have my blessings. He’d be a much better choice to satisfy her sexually without any romantic entanglement. He’d be a much safer choice from a privacy and social secrecy aspect too.

What do you all think of this? How can I make this happen? Or am I overthinking this?

As someone with IRL wife-sharing experience, I would advise against this. Too many potential complications, even from just asking him to fuck your wife. I recommend that you find a stranger(s) and keep those relationships to sex only.

 

[LordRahl2]

As someone with IRL wife-sharing experience, I would advise against this. Too many potential complications, even from just asking him to fuck your wife. I recommend that you find a stranger(s) and keep those relationships to sex only.

Could you please elaborate on the complications? I and my wife have discussed a lot but it'd be great to have the perspective of actual experience.

 

[shewantsmore]

I have also been following this discussion with great interest, Also i have alot of experience in the swinging scene and the pitfalls and problems can be many but personally i wouldn't find astranger,your wife is looking for longer than a one night stand. Totally agree on keeping it private,no one from work is essential. You have also talked to your cousin about it,he sounds interested so the ground work is done,.Your wife now needs to talk to him privately, not on phone but face to face ,can go out for a meal or just quetly for adrink and discuss things,.i know its a cousin but its not that close in my opinion.
You mentioned your going away for afew days, that would be ideal, they both need time together to see if it could work.She as you said has avery high sex drive and from experience i know that using toys or masturbation is not along term solution,. You know she wont leave you,so jealousy hopefully wont be a issue, so if i was the wife,she needs now to contact him and explain her needs .

 

[curioustxn]

Shewantsmore has good advice.

The only thing I might reiterate is that your wife needs to set her, (and your), limits *before* she has sex with him. He needs to understand that you are not turning your marriage over to him. I suspect even her cousin will be more comfortable knowing his limits.

Also, as far as being her cousin? If I remember correctly, you mentioned that they share a great-great-grandfather. That brings the blood-relation down to about 1/5. That's like not being related at all. Most states allow second cousins to marry, so I wouldn't concern myself with them being related after so many generations. If you go back through enough generation, I think you will find that most people are related, one way or another.

 

[Texcountryboy59]

Life is rarely fair, or even just at times. With that said, we reach a point in life where we do what we have to do to find a little happiness, not only for ourselves, but for those we love. We follow the social rules when we can, but as I said, sometimes life just isn't fair.

You mentioned that you had your prostate removed. I assume the reason was cancer, being the most common reason for that type of surgery. When that happens, it's just not fair! But, it's better to be alive without a prostate than dead with one.

Not only is it unfair to you, but it terribly unfair to your wife, who did nothing to deserve this. So what do you do? Certainly a penis pump is an option, as is oral sex and toys, but if you gave her permission to take a lover, while socially taboo, would it be the end of the world? After all, she's been with you for 42 years, it's unlikely she's going to leave you now.

you made the point:
"I want her happy. Fucking her cousin? I don’t know?"

Incest! What an ugly sounding word!

A hypothetical question:
Other than being socially taboo, and your friends and family would be disgusted if they knew, why is incest such a bad thing?

Even if pregnancy were a concern, such as LordRahl's wife, (she's 35), that can be easily avoided these days with birth control.

So, eliminating the risk of pregnancy, not considering the taboo of it, why is a family member not an option in cases where the husband has the misfortune of being unable to perform sexually?

Even though I posted this in response to Texountryboy's comment, I would be interested in anyone's opinion.

If the marriage is strong, why should it not be an option? How much should a person, (man or woman), suffer for something that is not their fault?

Well. I just don’t think a cousin is the right option. Bit saying I would be opposed to her taking dick from someone. Someone I know but we are nit at that point yet.

 

[LordRahl2]

Going on my 3-day trip today. Wife's cousin would be coming tonight for a drink and dinner as usual. He has no idea I'd be out.

He still doesn't know that he's our best choice. He called me couple of days back and subtly enquired. I told him my wife is still thinking about it and nothing's finalized yet. Tonight would be a surprise for him.

Wife and I have discussed everything about this arrangement in detail and are in sync with each other's limits. She plans on going out with him for dinner and have a good time while also seducing him. She'll get him onboard with our arrangement, rules and boundaries before things get serious. For now, she doesn't intend to sleep with him while I am out, but I've asked her to do what feels right and go with the flow. Once I am back, all 3 of us would sit down and have an open discussion.

 

[LordRahl2]

I came back from my trip yesterday. Here's an update -

Sunday evening, my wife's cousin arrived for our weekly drinks and dinner. He was surprised to find her alone and me out of town. Wife said she had dressed seductively and teased him a lot throughout the evening. Nothing else happened, but according to my wife, he was quite turned on and had a bulge in his pants when she saw him off out the door after dinner.

Monday was a very busy day for her at the office. Her cousin asked her out to dinner on Tuesday. He was extremely charming and flirted heavily with her. He took her to one of the fancy restaurants. Over dinner, my wife told him about our arrangement and laid down all the rules, expectations, boundaries and limits. Post dinner, they came back to our apartment and had few drinks. She seduced him on our couch and they kissed, followed by heavy petting. They were ready to go all the way, but my wife didn't feel comfortable doing it in our apartment. They settled for other non-intercourse activities for pleasure.

Wednesday, my wife spent the night at his apartment where they finally had sex. He dropped her back home yesterday morning.

I spoke to her on the phone everyday during my trip but we deliberately avoided talking about all this. She told me everything when I got back home. We had a long heartfelt discussion about how both us felt now. She's really happy, has no regrets and looking forward to more such interactions with her cousin. She did mention about feeling awkward being intimate with another man in our home. We'll discuss more with her cousin this weekend about future arrangements. Mostly she'll want to spend future nights with him at his apartment.

As for me, I'll admit I felt a bit jealous, momentarily. But seeing her so happy and content really made my day. I am really happy that she can finally find sexual satisfaction that I could never give her. It'll take some time for me to get used to it. I guess, it'll be for the best if they got together at his apartment instead of ours. Also, I realised I may not be comfortable with hearing about their sexual activities in detail, so that's something to discuss this weekend as well.

 

[goodguy7745]

This is a hot topic, by which I mean really sexy. You are a good husband for putting your wife's needs above yours. You make a good case about her cousin being an ideal sexual partner for her. I recommend you tell her she has the freedom to explore sex outside your marriage, if you haven't already had that talk. If she's open to that idea, bring the topic up of her having sex with her cousin slowly. Give her time to bring it up on her own. If she is pursing other men and hasn't mentioned fucking her cousin, then you can bring him into the fold of possible partners for her. Set some rules since you don't want her to have an affair. Make sure she knows you have a say in who she sleeps with. This will give you peace of mind knowing who she is with, but it will also give you the opportunity to guide her decision toward her cousin. I would not recommend you talk to the cousin about it until you've talked to her.

With that said, as one human to another, I care about you, so I'm going to say what needs to be said: Work on yourself instead of encouraging your wife to fuck other men. Your conditions are completely reversible. You need to quit your job. If you are a business owner, hire a consultant to help you remove yourself from the day-to-day activities of your business. If you are an employee, there are other jobs out there. I rarely tell people to quit their jobs, but this job is ruining your marriage, and most of all, it's FUCKING KILLING YOU! You will be dead within ten years if you keep this up. Do whatever you have to do to quit your job, whether that's pay off some debts, sell the house, sell a car... whatever it is. You can't keep this up for much longer.

Get your health back before it's too late. After that, you and your wife can talk about opening up your marriage when you have a happy, healthy sex life together. Allowing her to sleep with other men is sexy as fuck, but it won't fix your marriage and health issues. She wants you, otherwise she would have left you or, at the very least, she would have already had an affair. Don't die on her and leave her with nothing but her cousin.

If she does fuck her cousin, come back and tell us about it, though.

You make some excellent points about illness and job. I have both diabetes and high blood pressure. Both controlled with meds. Big issue was last job. I was management. Most were worthless. Psychiatrist said to get out before they killed me, literally. Biggest hit, though, was having penile veins leak. They would fill and then leak. Solution for me was an implant. Not a fun procedure but worthwhile. Pump it up, use it, release saline back into reservoir. I get a little sore when masturbating and putting pressure on artificial veins. Lost about 1/2 inch in length but gained in width. Tubes press hard against sides. Presume it still works fine. Now deceased wife was not cooperative. Not sure of current cost. Got mine with Medicare and no out of pocket.

 

[curioustxn]

I came back from my trip yesterday. Here's an update -

Sunday evening, my wife's cousin arrived for our weekly drinks and dinner. He was surprised to find her alone and me out of town. Wife said she had dressed seductively and teased him a lot throughout the evening. Nothing else happened, but according to my wife, he was quite turned on and had a bulge in his pants when she saw him off out the door after dinner.

Monday was a very busy day for her at the office. Her cousin asked her out to dinner on Tuesday. He was extremely charming and flirted heavily with her. He took her to one of the fancy restaurants. Over dinner, my wife told him about our arrangement and laid down all the rules, expectations, boundaries and limits. Post dinner, they came back to our apartment and had few drinks. She seduced him on our couch and they kissed, followed by heavy petting. They were ready to go all the way, but my wife didn't feel comfortable doing it in our apartment. They settled for other non-intercourse activities for pleasure.

Wednesday, my wife spent the night at his apartment where they finally had sex. He dropped her back home yesterday morning.

I spoke to her on the phone everyday during my trip but we deliberately avoided talking about all this. She told me everything when I got back home. We had a long heartfelt discussion about how both us felt now. She's really happy, has no regrets and looking forward to more such interactions with her cousin. She did mention about feeling awkward being intimate with another man in our home. We'll discuss more with her cousin this weekend about future arrangements. Mostly she'll want to spend future nights with him at his apartment.

As for me, I'll admit I felt a bit jealous, momentarily. But seeing her so happy and content really made my day. I am really happy that she can finally find sexual satisfaction that I could never give her. It'll take some time for me to get used to it. I guess, it'll be for the best if they got together at his apartment instead of ours. Also, I realised I may not be comfortable with hearing about their sexual activities in detail, so that's something to discuss this weekend as well.

The fact that your wife declined to have sex with her cousin in her own home is a good sign. It indicates that she takes her marriage vows seriously. And the fact that her cousin didn't push it, is also a good sign. It indicates that he respects both you and your wife. Respect is an important thing in any relationship. If she had hooked-up with a coworker, or went bar-hopping, it's unlikely that she would have found anyone who would respect her, her marriage, or you.

And yes it is awkward in the beginning. It's not the easiest thing to sit down and have dinner with the man who just fucked your wife, but in time, it will get more comfortable. After all, this is family, and family looks out for each other.

 

[Sassyunicorn]

I came back from my trip yesterday. Here's an update -

Sunday evening, my wife's cousin arrived for our weekly drinks and dinner. He was surprised to find her alone and me out of town. Wife said she had dressed seductively and teased him a lot throughout the evening. Nothing else happened, but according to my wife, he was quite turned on and had a bulge in his pants when she saw him off out the door after dinner.

Monday was a very busy day for her at the office. Her cousin asked her out to dinner on Tuesday. He was extremely charming and flirted heavily with her. He took her to one of the fancy restaurants. Over dinner, my wife told him about our arrangement and laid down all the rules, expectations, boundaries and limits. Post dinner, they came back to our apartment and had few drinks. She seduced him on our couch and they kissed, followed by heavy petting. They were ready to go all the way, but my wife didn't feel comfortable doing it in our apartment. They settled for other non-intercourse activities for pleasure.

Wednesday, my wife spent the night at his apartment where they finally had sex. He dropped her back home yesterday morning.

I spoke to her on the phone everyday during my trip but we deliberately avoided talking about all this. She told me everything when I got back home. We had a long heartfelt discussion about how both us felt now. She's really happy, has no regrets and looking forward to more such interactions with her cousin. She did mention about feeling awkward being intimate with another man in our home. We'll discuss more with her cousin this weekend about future arrangements. Mostly she'll want to spend future nights with him at his apartment.

As for me, I'll admit I felt a bit jealous, momentarily. But seeing her so happy and content really made my day. I am really happy that she can finally find sexual satisfaction that I could never give her. It'll take some time for me to get used to it. I guess, it'll be for the best if they got together at his apartment instead of ours. Also, I realised I may not be comfortable with hearing about their sexual activities in detail, so that's something to discuss this weekend as well.

Fantastic news! I'm so glad it worked out and everyone was respectful and mostly happy. Stand your ground if you don't become comfortable with it, but you are doing a very good job of trying. Kudos to all involved!

 

[ReadyOne]

{snip}
Also, as far as being her cousin? If I remember correctly, you mentioned that they share a great-great-grandfather. That brings the blood-relation down to about 1/5. That's like not being related at all. Most states allow second cousins to marry, so I wouldn't concern myself with them being related after so many generations. If you go back through enough generation, I think you will find that most people are related, one way or another.

Your math needs fixing. It's 1/32 overlap (5 squared). Each generation multiplies the overlap by another half.

 

[curioustxn]

I've been wondering how things are going with LordRahl2.

 

[Sassyunicorn]

Your math needs fixing. It's 1/32 overlap (5 squared). Each generation multiplies the overlap by another half.

My great-grandmother is my cousin's great aunt. So we probably aren't even really cousins, but it feels enough like we are because of the family dynamics that it would be really weird to have sex with her.

That said, I'd totally fuck her! She is smoking hot and being family we have TONS in common. It's hard to distinguish romantic feelings for a woman I'm so physically attracted to and have so much in common with from feelings of her just simply being my cousin. Do I like her because I want to fuck her or because she is a really cool cousin? I have no idea, so I'll fuck her if the opportunity every arises. For science.

 

[duane68]

Hello everyone,

Wanted to share my current situation with you all and get some opinions, advice, thoughts etc.

I am a 40 year old man. My wife is 35. We’ve been married for the last 10 years. She’s a very sexual person. It’s been difficult for me to keep up with her, but I have tried to keep her satisfied. Unfortunately, about 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with severe diabetes and hypertension. My physical ailments coupled with my stressful job has led to an embarrassing decline in my performance in bed. I haven’t been able to get erections. When I do, it’s been difficult to sustain it.

My lovely wife has been patient with me and has been very loving and caring, but I can sense her frustration. I do take care of her needs through my fingers, tongue or a vibrator. It can’t replace the feel of being fucked by a hard cock, though. I know she misses it and that makes me feel guilty of not being able to satisfy her through intercourse.

One of my wife’s distant cousin moved into our city few months back. He is 36 and unmarried. My wife and he are very close having grown up in the same neighborhood. She speaks very fondly of him and had even admitted to having a crush on him during her college years. I’ve seen a twinkle in her eyes when he’s around. She still looks at him that way when he visits us.

He and I have become good buddies ever since he moved into the city. He comes over every Saturday evening for a drink and both of us talk about several topics of mutual interest. Over the past couple of months, we’ve spoken a few times about my wife. With the buzz of alcohol, he has confessed about finding my wife very attractive and told me how lucky I am. He even lightly flirts with her and I’ve seen her enjoy the attention.

This has got me thinking. My wife’s sexual needs are not being fully satisfied. I don’t want to push her to desperation where she may be tempted at having an affair. I am not selfish to keep her caged while not being able to satisfy her myself. I never had much libido to begin with. If she and her cousin get together, if they want to, it’s completely fine with me, they’d have my blessings. He’d be a much better choice to satisfy her sexually without any romantic entanglement. He’d be a much safer choice from a privacy and social secrecy aspect too.

What do you all think of this? How can I make this happen? Or am I overthinking this?

I'd do it and want a blow by blow of what they do

 

[LordRahl2]

I've been wondering how things are going with LordRahl2.

Everything's going well. Wife and her cousin have been together thrice now. She usually spends Saturday night at his apartment and he drops her back home on Sunday morning. She's really really happy. I can see that glow on her face and spring in her steps. I am very happy for her and glad we took this step.

I am slowly getting used to this arrangement. I was out of town when they first had sex. The next time they got together, he came to our house on a Saturday evening. The three of us had dinner and she left with him for the night. That moment of realisation hit me hard. I couldn't really sleep that night. The next morning, she was back. She was so happy, cheerful and very grateful to me for giving her this choice.

Her love and commitment towards me has helped a lot to reduce my initial awkwardness. We still maintain sexual intimacy, it's more enjoyable now that I don't have to stress out about not being able to fully satisfy her. Her cousin and I still hangout for drinks, although we avoid talking about him having sex with her. I had told them both that I don't want to hear about the details, when the three of us had sat down for our first discussion. They have both been discreet about it, he has never brought it up while she has mentioned it obliquely a few times.

With her cousin's birthday coming up, she wants to go a short trip with him on that weekend. We're still debating if that's a good idea, in case they run into someone familiar. But the fact that they are cousins, shouldn't raise any eyebrows if they're cautious.