Confess Your Embarrassing Boner Stories!

[Micio_Lambire]

True story. About this time of year here in this part of California the new runners start to hit the road either firming up for the holiday party circuit or getting a jump on new years resolutions.

About three weeks ago I was out for an early evening run to burn off some stress and this youngish woman, a college student, is standing on the corner looking around in her running gear, so I stopped to see if I could help, since she kind of had a lost look on her face.

She is new to the neighborhood and didn't quite know how to run (which turns to take, here it's easy to get trapped on a cul de sac and have to double-back). So, I am giving her some easy routes to follow.

All the while she's doing yoga stretches and jogging up and down. She's in long form fitting running pants and a form fitting athletic top, with her hair in a pony tail. After we finish talking she takes off on one of the routes I suggested. I watch her go then turn to finish my run.

LOL - I get about a hundred yards down the road and have to stop and walk the rest of the way. Not because I am tired or anything but because I've got a boner and it was chafing badly. Never run with a boner!

I have to say this really gave me good giggle

 

[Paul_Chance]

I have to say this really gave me good giggle

Thanks Micio It gave me a chuckle as well. That damn involuntary response.

 

[ZanzibarWest]

I went to a party with a clothing optional hot tub and the jets were giving me some cover and turning me right on...until they cut out and I was talking to a lot of people fully hard under some crystal clear water. So I ended up wearing nothing but my blush and my rock hard-on with some people sneaking a peek and then giving me a very polite smiles.

Still makes me blush.

 

[Micio_Lambire]

Thanks Micio It gave me a chuckle as well. That damn involuntary response.

HA!

I went to a party with a clothing optional hot tub and the jets were giving me some cover and turning me right on...until they cut out and I was talking to a lot of people fully hard under some crystal clear water. So I ended up wearing nothing but my blush and my rock hard-on with some people sneaking a peek and then giving me a very polite smiles.

Still makes me blush.

You should share that blush with us

 

[zekuma]

Walking around the hot spring towns in Japan you just wear your hotel wrap kimono. Taller than their average and a bit more shoulder to spread it out, the fit was marginal at best. The innkeeper at the final bath let us all into the mixed bath so was slightly on edge between the sights of my wife's friends and her stray fingertips. They all thought it was hilarious walking back to our hotel with somewhat of noticeable tent but the drunken meandering caused a bit of kimono slippage and the old fella poked through.

 

[Crig212]

My first story is kinda weird. That being said, I was still a teenager at the time and so puberty might have had something to do with it...I dunno.

At my first job (Burger King), I was tasked with making the salads first thing in the morning for several weeks. I can't explain why but invariably every time I worked on this task, I would get an erection. Maybe the cucumbers got me thinking? I don't know...but I had just taken a stack of salads to the refrigerator and a cute female employee came around the corner Of course ill fitting, thin polyester slack pants didn't leave much to the imagination. So like any normal teenager with a rock hard boner, I covered it with my hands, walked past her as quickly as I could and tried to avoid eye contact but I could tell that she noticed...

The other time was when a group of friends and I were watching a movie. One of the female friends kinda reclined in between my legs and rested her head on my lower abdomen. So of course I got an erection and when it "flexed" (is that what you call it? not sure what else to call it?), it literally pushed her head forward a bit. She looked at me like I was crazy and asked what the heck it was.

 

[jwkalpha]

I'm a male nurse. I have been getting Brazilian waxes for years, so I'm kinda used to having women seeing my package from time to time. Other than my wife, they're the only ones that have seen me in all my hairless glory.

Unfortunately, I recently had a kidney stone. Thankfully I was asleep for the first procedure, because being up in stirrups on a cysto table with my bare crotch exposed to a bunch of women I work with on a daily basis was not my idea of fun. But for my followup procedure in the office, my cystoscopy was done with local anesthesia only. So again - up in stirrups, but this time wide awake. And a lovely and beautiful female tech, that I know, comes in to do my prep prior to the procedure. The prep, sponging/cleaning my entire crotch, lasted less than a minute - but more than enough time to developing a raging boner by the time she was done. Thankfully it had subsided somewhat before the urologist came in to place the cystoscope into my not so tumescent cock.

 

[o2baPrince]

Bump because I like the Stories’s

 

[Cumference]

Bump because I like the Stories’s

Well, have you contributed?

Threads survive on contributions not on “bumps”.

 

[agedmac]

false alarm?

Fairly recent, I ended up in a crowded elevator and a younger (they're ALL younger for me!) woman w a tight skirt bumped back into my package area. I thought nothing of it until there was fewer people on the elevator and she bumped her behind against me again. We ended up getting off (well...not that way) on the same floor and she turned, smiled and said, "I could use Mae West's line, but instead I'll just say I am impressed with an older gentleman like you being 'that way'"

I stood in the hall wondering what she was talking about and then suddenly it hit me. I started laughing, almost to the point of the ROTFLMAO line.

Why? Because I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out one of those old, large chargers for the car....you know the type that plugs into the old cigaret receptical..........

 

[Paul_Chance]

Fairly recent, I ended up in a crowded elevator and a younger (they're ALL younger for me!) woman w a tight skirt bumped back into my package area. I thought nothing of it until there was fewer people on the elevator and she bumped her behind against me again. We ended up getting off (well...not that way) on the same floor and she turned, smiled and said, "I could use Mae West's line, but instead I'll just say I am impressed with an older gentleman like you being 'that way'"

I stood in the hall wondering what she was talking about and then suddenly it hit me. I started laughing, almost to the point of the ROTFLMAO line.

Why? Because I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out one of those old, large chargers for the car....you know the type that plugs into the old cigaret receptical..........

Hahaha - that is a great story.

 

[Duckers22]

Went to a football game in my late teens, sat with a girlfriend at the time who thought it would be good to whisper in my ear, dirty things she wanted me to do to her that evening and me to her, just as she'd finished, rubbed the inside of my leg in a suggestive manner- a family came to end of the row and need to shuffle past us, I was wearing tight jeans and my hard on was def visible, anyway, we had to stand to let the family past! the family walked past, the wife of the family was last to walk past, her eyes were flitting from my eyes to my groin, big smile on her face, when she gets right in front of me she lets her arm drop and skim my groin and says "If only I were on my own you could used that on me", cheeky wink, then carried on walking past, I would have been bright red from that wondering who else saw - My GF i was with, didn't hear or see a thing, but that night when she was doing all those things she'd whispered in my ear I was picturing that sexy wife - my GF wondered why i was so horny and insatiable that evening - often wondered if the wife pictured and included me in her sex play as well

 

[sleby]

When I was 18 and already graduated from High School I had a girlfriend that was still in school, maybe 16. Her parents were divorced, she lived with her mom. I would hang out during the week until around 10:00 pm then go home. My girlfriends mom asked me why I don’t just stay the night instead of going home so late, so I started staying the night.

I would sleep upstairs in the same bed as my girlfriend. Her moms bedroom was downstairs. So we had sex pretty much every night and would sleep with no clothes on. One morning her mom came upstairs to wake us up to get ready for school/work. She opened the door and came in, but didn’t turn on the light. I was naked, uncovered, and completely hard. She can see from the light in the hallway, and I think she noticed. So she walks over, strokes me a couple times until I wake up, then goes to the door, turns the light on and tells us to wake up.

We never talked about what happened.

 

[o2baPrince]

A couple of years back I had a cardiac catheterization and stent placement to fix a birth defect. Once the stent was in situ and the blood began a normal rate of flow I had what can only be described acute priapism.

After the procedure, while still in the operating theatre, I advised my cardiologist (a colleague) of the circumstances, "Dude, I have a raging boner."

Like any good friend he told the entire OR staff of my predicament and all had a chuckle. So after they lifted the heavy lead sheet off of my lower body up sprang the marker for my sundial with the only cover being my shitty thin hospital gown (opens in the back, you've been there).

I am not an 'easy cummer' but when I do it's a voluminous, heavy, thick, white fountain, so the following is even more embarrassing. As we shift from the flouroscopicy table to the gurney the rubbing of the gown, which has been slipping up, triggers an enormous orgasm. Like the first orgasm I ever had when I was in my teens - extra large.

So, in front of a colleague, the entire OR staff, and any video of the procedure, I am popping ropes of semen on to my face, the arm of surgical tech assisting me (she was gowned), the table, everywhere.

Embarrassing boner story with details - and the crowd goes mild.

Well, that is embarrassing. But now you are the envy of the staff...

 

[midlifecrisispanties]

Not just a boner...

My most embarrassing was after beginning to explore my bi tendencies with my wife. I wear panties for my wife all the time now, which keeps me at constant half mast anyhow. For months, she had teased me and had me look at the assess of both men and women in public. She had pointed out several different people to me asking, "You like that, Princess?" I always grin and turn away, pretending not to look.

A month or so after establishing this pattern, I was driving home from work and got stuck at a long red light. Well, up the street, right next to my truck, pulls this skinny but muscled guy on a bike, wearing nothing but sneakers, speedo, and tank top. My eyes shot directly to his ass as he pulled to my front bumper, waiting for the light to change. I don't THINK he ever noticed me looking. I immediately got the most raging boner I had had in a week or so. I stared and took it in. When the light changed, I made my left turn away from him and he rode through the light. I was twitching and raging as I turned the truck. Then, with almost no warning signal..sploosh. I tried to hold it, which made both the boner and the puddle worse.

When I got to our parking lot, I pulled my backpack in front of me, marched into the house, she saw it and I had to tell her. To this day, if our son isn't around, the first thing she asks me when I come in is, "Did you cum in your pants today?"

 

[agedmac]

late teens (cuz that's LIT policy--grin), decide to cut the grass in a pair of cut-offs and nothing else. The neighbor lady asks if I could go ahead and do her yard as well. I start in the front and realize that my cock is rubbing against the denim and I'm getting a stiffy. Neighbor is watching through her front window.

I take a break and drink water from her hose and let the water run down my sweaty chest.....she's still watching........which makes me harder but now the denim is soaked with sweat and water. I go to her back yard. She comes out and offers me a soda. I'm drinking it but she hasn't backed away and the little guy is now not so little...and she is looking right at the soldier.

I go back and start cutting her back yard. She sits in a patio chair, her legs slightly open (shorts and a halter top)....that ain't helping! She crosses her leg over the other and one sandal dangles from her toes, pained a very sexy deep red and my cock is straining to escape the confines of my shorts. Which means it's rubbing right against the waistband now. I am very close to cummin and she is now just watching me, her legs more open. I finish cutting her yard and kill the engine. I'm standing only a couple feet away from her.

"You are naughty to get an erection in my yard," she says in the most gravely voice I've ever heard. 'You are bad' she says more softly but gruffly. as she cups my erectoin and presses down and I cum all over my shorts.

Sigh.......some of the above is true....the erection....the neighbor lady watching closely. What part is fantasy? All these years later, what does it matter?

 

[o2baPrince]

When I got to our parking lot, I pulled my backpack in front of me, marched into the house, she saw it and I had to tell her. To this day, if our son isn't around, the first thing she asks me when I come in is, "Did you cum in your pants today?" [/QUOTE]

Oh, that is a nice line....

 

[dr_scorpion]

it happened some times. i think the first i could remember was right after college during a summer job. i worked in a room with only one more person, a very nice woman and we soon became a little bit closer because we shared some interests. i also found her a very sexy woman because of her sporty attitude but also because of the way she dressed but then it wasn't really a turn on, i just found her hot. i used to work in sweatpants and many times i went commando to work because i always left home late so i was in a hurry.
this day my coworking friend was wearing a low rise jeans that sported a sexy black gstring whale tail and i love whale tails. i spent the whole morning with a hard on and as i wasn't wearing undies it was pretty visible. when she called me to have lunch i refused to go and asked her to buy something to me, but she insisted and pulled me by the hand, i got up and there was my boner pointing in my sweatpants.

 

[massageguy1]

First testicular and prostate exam, and ultrasound

I can spin this story out for pages, and I have, for a cfnm site. Here's a condensed version:

Fall quarter of my freshman year, I'm made aware of a small lump on my testicle - which turned out to be harmless. The woman who found it (yes, more to THAT story) put me in touch with Dr Nandi, an old friend from when she was in nursing school.

I'm nervous, and I'm taken back into an exam room at the studeny clinic by a oretty brunette who takes my vitals, talks about the problem, then leaves me with instructions to 'take off 'everything below the waist - even your underwear,' and put on a hospital gown, open at the back.

She's very cute, and I'm really inexperienced, and I wonder if she'll be in the room when the doc does his exam. I'm also flustered, because the gown is really inadequate for my 6'3" long-waisted frame.

I've managed to contain myself -barely - as I sit on the exam table, when there's a knock on the door. It's then that I realize that Dr Nandi is a tall, slender, stunningly beautiful Indian woman in her mid-30's. She has glossy black hair, and huge dark eyes. Years later, when I saw Padma from Top Chef, I thought they looked like sisters...

She smiles, shakes my hand, and introduces herself. I tell her about the lump. She asks if I do regular testicular exams, and I say no. I get a short lecture on the dangers of cancer and the importance of early detection. When she asks if feel any discomfort, I admit that I have a dull ache 'down there,' but not at the lump. She reassures me that it's probably nothing to worry about, and that it's good I'm getting it checked out.

She puts on gloves, moves a large gooseneck lamp up to the table, and asks me to stand, and raise the gown...

Now, I'd be relaxed and happy to be exposed. Then, I was terribly nervous. The doctor was very calm and matter-of-fact, but the nurse smirked a little, and seemed to be enjoying both the view, and my unease...

Dr Nandi starts by examining my penis, which is flaccid at this stage of the game. I start to grow as she rolls my right testis around in my scrotum, explaining what she's looking for. Then, she has me do the same thing, to show I understand.

Fondling myself under the close inspection of two attractive, clothed strangers is scary but thrilling, and I start to swell. It doesn't really help when she says that it's a perfectly normal reaponse, especially because the nurse is seriously smirking as she looks over the doctor's shoulder...

She finds the lump easily, and assures me that it's almost certainly a calcareous deposit, but that we'll do an ultrasound to be sure.

As she finishes the exam, she notices that my epididymus is swollen, and asks when I last ejaculated. I turn purple, and stammer that it's been several days. (No girlfriend, and three roommates...I haven't figured where and when to masturbate yet...) She says that that might be causing the ache, and surprises me by asking if I've ever had a prostate exam...

I stammer 'No,' and she says we'd better check, just to be sure. She hands me a moist towelette, and asks me to clean my glans, especially around the opening. The cold alcohol helps me regain a little control and lose a half-inch or so, but it's obvious that I'm producing pre-ejaculate. (I tend to do that. A lot.)

She had me lean over the table, move my feet apart to shoulder width, and bend over, with my forearms on the table. Since the gown opens in back, my round little runner's butt is thoroughly exposed...
She explains that she's going to do a DRE - a digital rectal exam. She spreads my cheeks, and I gasp as her lubed finger circles my anus. She tells me to focus on breathing, but I gasp again as she penetrates me and probes my prostate.

She tells the nurse to get a slide, and collects a smear of the pre-ejaculate that is hanging in a two-inch long thread from the head of my penis. To my mixed delight and horror, I realize that I am fully erect at 7 3/4 inches...

Like my penis at the time, this story has gotten long enough. They left. I cleaned up, and we set up a follow-up appointment for the ultrasound. I actually get paid to be part of a study comparing different means of imaging the prostate - internal and external. I get fully erect when she holds the computer mouse-sized ultrasound device against my testicle.

I ejaculate voluminously after she inserts the dildo-shaped transducer into my rectum..

 

[mnbreastluver]

Ummmm, I’ll plead the fifth since it’s an embarrassing one.

 

[o2baPrince]

I can spin this story out for pages, and I have, for a cfnm site. Here's a condensed version:

I like it! And would read a longer version.

 

[massageguy1]

Peeking out...

I had such a crush on my best friend's older sister, Kathy. She was generally kind to me, clueless kid that I was. One summer day, we're hanging out in their backyard after swimming in their pool, and I'm trying not to be too obvious in staring at her bikini-clad body.

All of a sudden, she dumped her Coke on her brother. He freaked out, yelling and screaming at her, and went inside to shower and change.

I started to ask her what that was all about, and she said 'XYZ.'

I was baffled, and it must have showed. She smiled, and said 'Your barn door's open.'

With horror, I looked down to see the pink head of my erect penis sticking out of the leg of my trunks. As I turned around to adjust myself, she explained that she distracted Jerry because 'He'd never let you hear the end of it...'

It was a week before I could look her in the eye again.

 

[bw699353]

My brothers gf walked in on me masturbating into a pair of her panties

 

[tnman03]

Pretty simple one really, I was younger and outside in t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts w/o briefs and some flip flops on my deck. I was kicked back and the shorts had opened up some. Then my next door neighbor came over to borrow some gas to mow her yard. She was very busty and well put together with long curly red hair, short shorts and a bikini top. I popped a boner and the end of my cock stuck out of the bottom of my shorts. She smiled at me and left to mow her yard. And nope, nothing ever happened, she didn’t fool around on her husband.

 

[kinkycockney]

Answering the door to the delivery man half asleep and rock hard, poor guy looked scared!!!