Consent: when is it present?

[Pure]

Since spousal rape is illegal, even a married man who forces sex on a wife screaming NO is on dangerous ground.

Well, forced sex in a marriage wasn't quite the descriptioni RR gave; he appeared to be speaking--first case--of a trusting SM relationship. IF I read him correctly.

But as to your point. Yes, that's the official story. In practice, I'll bet almost all prosecutions have to do either with 1) wives who are separated, and/or 2) wives who are seriously injured [e.g. anally torn] and/or 3) who have over time been subjected to serious abuse.

Esp. in some of the scenes being discussed, were a wife to get into a sexual encounter voluntarily (consensually), and then at some point [for some act] say 'no' and have things proceed (without any injury to the her), possibly with her 'acquiescence to the inevitable', I believe it's a case any DA would find a nighmare to prosecute and any jury, a quagmire to decide. That's my lay opinion, fwiw.

I believe it's morals more than laws that keep us from aggressing--including sexually--on friends.

 

[rosco rathbone]

There are always going to be people trying to push as far into this grey area as they can. Hopefully they find each other and everyone has a good time.

 

[John Doe]

Personally sarah's hypothetical situation seems weird to me. I'm sure it's happened like that, but why the hell would a woman lead a man on like that and then suddenly get cold feet, unless she was setting him up for a rape charge or some weird shit like that? I'm not saying that he'd be justified in raping her then, I just think it's a crazy thing to do.

And as far as the hooker thing, most people date with the expectation of sex eventually taking place. The only reason guys still pay for dinner usually is tradition.

Anyway, I think it's dangerous to act out certain fantasies with someone you don't really know or trust. Even then there are times when someone will try to pull something, but the likilihood is much lower.

 

[John Doe]

There are always going to be people trying to push as far into this grey area as they can. Hopefully they find each other and everyone has a good time.

Grey areas are fun.

 

[Pure]

Stup: I'm sure it's happened like that, but why the hell would a woman lead a man on like that and then suddenly get cold feet,

'cold feet'--if it applies to some of the scenarios-- means nothing more than change of mind.

[why?]unless she was setting him up for a rape charge or some weird shit like that?

well, there's 'power'.

 

[Hester]

Grey areas are fun.

the trick is making sure all parties see the same shade of gray.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Stup: I'm sure it's happened like that, but why the hell would a woman lead a man on like that and then suddenly get cold feet,

'cold feet'--if it applies to some of the scenarios-- means nothing more than change of mind.

[why?]unless she was setting him up for a rape charge or some weird shit like that?

well, there's 'power'.

Of course, there is always that thing called women's intuition which is very reliable for some of us. Why didn't it kick in before getting to such a late stage? Most times it does but we have been conditioned to not listen to it, to feel stupid for acting on something great scientists cannot explain or understand, to feel we 'owe' something, etc etc. Sometimes it needs that time to scream through our brains this is not an option, saving face or not, and still it can sometimes bring on more trouble by acting on it. Of course, there is also the times when you might be with someone you have not been with before, and it is not until they get undressed you notice something in those intimate areas which makes you feel it is better not to go there...perhaps signs of disease, weird shit the woman may not feel comfortable with, changed behaviour on the part of the man, a number of things.

Catalina

 

[Guest]

Of course, there is always that thing called women's intuition which is very reliable for some of us. Why didn't it kick in before getting to such a late stage? Most times it does but we have been conditioned to not listen to it, to feel stupid for acting on something great scientists cannot explain or understand, to feel we 'owe' something, etc etc. Sometimes it needs that time to scream through our brains this is not an option, saving face or not, and still it can sometimes bring on more trouble by acting on it. Of course, there is also the times when you might be with someone you have not been with before, and it is not until they get undressed you notice something in those intimate areas which makes you feel it is better not to go there...perhaps signs of disease, weird shit the woman may not feel comfortable with, changed behaviour on the part of the man, a number of things.

Catalina

I think that's it exactly.

Perhaps it took the woman that long to realize something was very wrong in the situation. Maybe she felt she was in real danger or something.

Maybe she just noticed his obsession with Star Trek when he peeled down to his Captain Kirk undies. (Who knows?)

But better to have regrets before the act rather than after.

 

[Pure]

or it could be his Lt. Uhura bra and panties.

 

[Guest]

or it could be his Lt. Uhura bra and panties.

Nahhh.

Those would be sexy.