cookiecat
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2006
- Posts
- 22,045
Extra special tree house for cookie
oooh! Looks amazing and peaceful.
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Extra special tree house for cookie
The hell's this thread doing down here?!? Bump for Cookie, because she makes this place that much more awesome... And shit
It's been a rough week.
Thanks for the love and shit.
It's been a rough week.
Thanks for the love and shit.
Mr. cookiecat has been in and out of reality for the past several days. Some of it is drug related; he's heavily medicated so he can breathe easier as well as keeping his anxiety abated.
Some of it is - according to doctors - related to transitioning. What a pleasant word to define this last stage of life. He's transitioning. As if he's deciding to change political parties or become a woman. He's fucking dying.
The things he's saying are mostly sweet. Memories from childhood. His family. I woke up to him talking. I asked him if he was ok. He said I needed to come talk with my niece. They were discussing a Christmas gift for my other niece, who wants to be an astronaut. He said he wanted to get her a telescope so she could see the stars.
He wakes up and his lips are pursed really tight. He thinks he's smoking and has a burning cigarette in his mouth. Since his hands don't work, he can't take it out himself. At first I said no - no, there's no cigarette. Now, I just act like I'm taking it out of his mouth and he seems pleased he had a good smoke.
Tonight, I was sitting next to him (he's in bed, I sit next to the bed). He started crying, like openly bawling. I asked him what was wrong. He said he was sad he couldn't be Tarzan for Halloween.
I haven't changed my clothes in three days. I just realized I forgot to brush my teeth this morning. It's like every moment is spent sitting here, holding his hand. Rubbing his feet. Shoving pillows every which way hoping his pressure sores don't hurt.
This really really sucks.
Glitter. I think I need some glitter.
I wish I could give you the gift to turn back time, cookie.
The gift to lift the veil off this disease.
The gift to defy the odds and teach Father Time a lesson.
I wish some of us could shoulder some of your burden.
It is not unusual for dying persons to experience sensory changes. Sometimes they misperceive a sound or get confused about some physical object in the room. They might hear the wind blow but think someone is crying, or see the lamp in the corner and think someone is standing there. These types of misperceptions are called illusions. They are misunderstandings about something that is actually in their surroundings.
Another type of misperception is hallucination. Dying persons may hear voices that you cannot hear, see things that you cannot see, or feel things that you are unable to touch or feel.
I wish all of those things, too.
As to the last one, you do. A lot of you do. Just by allowing me to blurt this out here in the bdsm cafe.