Cuckold Appreciation

[Islander55]

Wow. Thanks for the insight. It not like I’ve ever been this old before, her too! But in appreciate your honesty and openness. I should maybe approach with a broader view and try and inderstand

You need to talk about it with her and see if you both would be open to some additional fun and in what format. In general sex can be good for older people. I think the old use it or lose adage applies and for a woman at least, it is good to know that someone would like to have sex with her. Someone besides her husband. I will say that from what I read and have seen, it is harder for older men to find partners than it is for older women. I guess the laws of supply and demand.

 

[LeeKee]

Cold

You need to talk about it with her and see if you both would be open to some additional fun and in what format. In general sex can be good for older people. I think the old use it or lose adage applies and for a woman at least, it is good to know that someone would like to have sex with her. Someone besides her husband. I will say that from what I read and have seen, it is harder for older men to find partners than it is for older women. I guess the laws of supply and demand

Cold harsh reality . Still stings a bit, but I do love her a lot. Thanks again. I hope we can jump start it back to where we were, doubtful, but I’m hoping. I think she does want variety. She made a comment to that effect about 8 months ago. I thinks she may have lost faith in me. Big fuckin blow to an alpha male ego. But what you are saying does make sense. As always, thank you…again!

 

[Islander55]

Cold

Cold harsh reality . Still stings a bit, but I do love her a lot. Thanks again. I hope we can jump start it back to where we were, doubtful, but I’m hoping. I think she does want variety. She made a comment to that effect about 8 months ago. I thinks she may have lost faith in me. Big fuckin blow to an alpha male ego. But what you are saying does make sense. As always, thank you…again!

I think it is seldom about a man being inadequate but more about variety and knowing that another man desires you. we do have to get past all of our social upbringing but if you can, there is a lot of fun to be had for both. Certainly voyeurism can be satisfied or the reclaiming can be fun. Keep in mind that most women can handle more than one man with ease.

 

[LeeKee]

I think it is seldom about a man being inadequate but more about variety and knowing that another man desires you. we do have to get past all of our social upbringing but if you can, there is a lot of fun to be had for both. Certainly voyeurism can be satisfied or the reclaiming can be fun. Keep in mind that most women can handle more than one man with ease.

Oh I understand that. Also over the years I have learned my wife has a thing of someone watching her. She seems to be turned on by it. And as stated she made comments about variety. But my thing to work around would be my ego. I would enjoy reclaiming kinda like make up sex. So yeah, we are turbulently entering the next stage of our lives. Not sure how to go about it, but I’m learning and I’m open to it. I love her dearly but lately insecure about this whole thing. I’ll just cowboy up and accept what comes. As always, I thank you and value your insight and experiences that you share. And they are also hot! So, yeah, thank you!

 

[2tallpaul]

Exactly. And that is a great parallel for how I would expect my husband to communicate with me. If things seem off or make him uncomfortable in other aspects of daily life he has mature ways of communicating that to me and I listen to him. But if he threw a bunch of rules at me or threatened to pull the plug on something if I didn't abide by his dictums that would not go well at all.

Policywank, always love your comments. I started dating a woman who was quite forward in her need for multiple partners and I needed to be supportive and asked if I was bi or bi curious. I turned cuck to sissy pretty quick and realized my own background that I needed more. We get along great and I never question her. I've turned an equal cock hound to her and we love it. Communication came first.

 

[policywank]

I think it is seldom about a man being inadequate but more about variety and knowing that another man desires you. we do have to get past all of our social upbringing but if you can, there is a lot of fun to be had for both. Certainly voyeurism can be satisfied or the reclaiming can be fun. Keep in mind that most women can handle more than one man with ease.

I think that regardless of why a wife seeks sex outside of marriage it is probably helpful for a husband to understand that the desire to do so is entirely natural. The premise that if her husband was somehow "man enough" she would never desire another man is fundamentally flawed.

Men have been raised on this premise that it is natural for them to desire sexual variety but that women are somehow wired for sexual exclusivity. It isn't true. Each individual is unique but we are not as a gender any more wired for exclusivity than men are. Now imagine how men would behave if they had abundant opportunity for multiple sexual partners with no strings attached and the inclination (which comes with age) to disregard what other people think about indulging those opportunities. Of course they would want to do so even if their partners were wonderful lovers. That is the place that mature women find ourselves in.

 

[Islander55]

Oh I understand that. Also over the years I have learned my wife has a thing of someone watching her. She seems to be turned on by it. And as stated she made comments about variety. But my thing to work around would be my ego. I would enjoy reclaiming kinda like make up sex. So yeah, we are turbulently entering the next stage of our lives. Not sure how to go about it, but I’m learning and I’m open to it. I love her dearly but lately insecure about this whole thing. I’ll just cowboy up and accept what comes. As always, I thank you and value your insight and experiences that you share. And they are also hot! So, yeah, thank you!

One can never really know until they do it but you need to be as sure as possible that you would be OK with this. It is a bitch getting that genie back in the bottle once it is out. My husband is a voyeur so he really bought into that aspect. According to him, there is nothing more erotic than watching his wife get fucked.. Obviously over 40 years he has fucked me many times but he says it is a totally different perspective to sit back and watch me enjoy getting well fucked. Being involved limits your perspective. I had orgasms with him many times but he says sitting back and watching, he could see my orgasm building just from the little signs that he recognized and then to see me fully in the throes of my orgasm was simply sublime. If you can come at it from that perspective and enjoy your wife having great sex than you might be OK with it. If you start wondering if she came harder with him than you, you are going to have problems. Keep in mind that a woman can handle two men so you will get yours eventually and it may be better than anything you have had. I know I always wanted to give a little extra when it was my husband's turn.

 

[Islander55]

I think that regardless of why a wife seeks sex outside of marriage it is probably helpful for a husband to understand that the desire to do so is entirely natural. The premise that if her husband was somehow "man enough" she would never desire another man is fundamentally flawed.

Men have been raised on this premise that it is natural for them to desire sexual variety but that women are somehow wired for sexual exclusivity. It isn't true. Each individual is unique but we are not as a gender any more wired for exclusivity than men are. Now imagine how men would behave if they had abundant opportunity for multiple sexual partners with no strings attached and the inclination (which comes with age) to disregard what other people think about indulging those opportunities. Of course they would want to do so even if their partners were wonderful lovers. That is the place that mature women find ourselves in.

Reading some anthropology indicates that many primitive tribes were eager to bring in new genetic material. Perhaps by sharing a wife but also by allowing the women the freedom to bed other men. I have read that in some societies a man would never consider marrying a woman that had not given birth to at least on child. So I think this monogamy issue a relatively recent invention to try and control women. I think the basic inclination is to crave variety. Ironically it does seem that it is easier for an older woman to obtain partners than it is for older men unless there is significant wealth involved.

 

[policywank]

One can never really know until they do it but you need to be as sure as possible that you would be OK with this. It is a bitch getting that genie back in the bottle once it is out. My husband is a voyeur so he really bought into that aspect. According to him, there is nothing more erotic than watching his wife get fucked.. Obviously over 40 years he has fucked me many times but he says it is a totally different perspective to sit back and watch me enjoy getting well fucked. Being involved limits your perspective. I had orgasms with him many times but he says sitting back and watching, he could see my orgasm building just from the little signs that he recognized and then to see me fully in the throes of my orgasm was simply sublime. If you can come at it from that perspective and enjoy your wife having great sex than you might be OK with it. If you start wondering if she came harder with him than you, you are going to have problems. Keep in mind that a woman can handle two men so you will get yours eventually and it may be better than anything you have had. I know I always wanted to give a little extra when it was my husband's turn.

I would advise any husband to fully expect that other men will do something for their wife that they have not and cannot do. Not that they are better. Just that every man is unique. Lover 2 may provide something that Lover 1 doesn't. Likewise the husband may provide something that the others don't.

Men sometimes tend to see these things in linear performance terms, which makes each of them better or worse than the others. Sometimes that may be true but it is more often a matter of variety. So I would advise any husband to expect this and know how to interpret it in advance.

 

[policywank]

Reading some anthropology indicates that many primitive tribes were eager to bring in new genetic material. Perhaps by sharing a wife but also by allowing the women the freedom to bed other men. I have read that in some societies a man would never consider marrying a woman that had not given birth to at least on child. So I think this monogamy issue a relatively recent invention to try and control women. I think the basic inclination is to crave variety. Ironically it does seem that it is easier for an older woman to obtain partners than it is for older men unless there is significant wealth involved.

Yes I agree. I think that the mere existence of societies with such different views on monogamy highlights the fallacy of the premise that women are somehow wired to be monogamous. What is the right path for any given society or woman is a more complex topic. But I do think it is somewhat unique to each of us. And a do believe that the monogamy paradigm is something that has been imposed upon us and which we have been conditioned to accept - for a variety of reasons including that of controlling women - as opposed to an intrinsically natural framework.

My theory is that the reason it is easier for older women to find sexual partners than it is for older men is because it is as we age that we are more aware of the fallacies that society has imposed upon us and more inclined to ignore them. In many ways as we get older we revert more to the natural gender dynamics rather than those imposed upon us. I think that this is at least as much the case for men as for women. In many ways women start desiring sexual freedom much earlier, but it takes men longer to stop trying to control things and just go with the flow. At this point in my life my message to my lovers is that we can either have a fun date with a happy ending or I can do it with someone else. Twenty years ago guys would try to find a way to control things whereas now they are just happy to be getting laid. Or maybe my approach has changed too....I dunno, I'm not much of an anthropologist.

 

[policywank]

Oh I understand that. Also over the years I have learned my wife has a thing of someone watching her. She seems to be turned on by it. And as stated she made comments about variety. But my thing to work around would be my ego. I would enjoy reclaiming kinda like make up sex. So yeah, we are turbulently entering the next stage of our lives. Not sure how to go about it, but I’m learning and I’m open to it. I love her dearly but lately insecure about this whole thing. I’ll just cowboy up and accept what comes. As always, I thank you and value your insight and experiences that you share. And they are also hot! So, yeah, thank you!

Sounds like you are being realistic with your own emotions which is important. Obviously your wife needs to be sensitive to how you are feeling but ultimately you are the one who has to manage your own feelings. You will both realize that you can't really control how things play out, what she feels and what you feel and as Islander55 points out the genie probably won't go back in the bottle. For instance, you mention the notion of "reclaiming kinda like make up sex." I think that is a pretty normal desire and may be something that you will both enjoy. But there will be times when she won't want that and you really do (or vice versa). That is the sort of thing to prepare for mentally and emotionally.

 

[Rollwithit2023]

Guys, do you enjoy this as much as I do?

 

[Beachsyrf]

I’m pretty new here but this has been a topic of extreme curiosity and excitement to me for quite some time. For starters, I have to confess that one of my deepest rooted sexual ...... interests, ..... fetishes, ..... obsessions? ..... has been girlfriend/wife sharing. (I only reference this from a hetero. perspective as that is my primary orientation although I have read here on LPSG about open Gay relationships and/or ”cuckolding”). Anyway, I find the notion (and mental images!) of a wife, girlfriend or significant other, straying outside the boundaries of the relationship to give in to and pursue their sexual desires to be a huge turn on.

For me, I know exactly when and how this all began for me; it was a story in a Hustler magazine my older neighbor couple gave to me when I was living with my girlfriend in college. The article was entitled “The Big Suck” and told the story of a typical housewife who encounters the neighbor in the washroom of their apartment complex and, well, you know how these stories go ..... of course he was hung like a bull, had huge balls and she sucked him off, then and there (something she would never dream of doing ..... but, Oh, the excitement & lust!)

Well, ..... it had never occurred to me that women in committed relationships ..... marriage ...... could even consider such behavior, much less indulge and revel in it. Naive, I know. But, if this married woman could find her devotion and fidelity to her husband crumbling at the sight, feel, smell and taste (I may have added that bit) of this stranger’s dick ..... that meant that my girlfriend might fall prey to such carnal desires! ..... Oh, snap! ...... Instant hard-on and filthy, nasty jack-off sessions which continue to this day! (LOL!)

But all these years I have felt as if I didn’t completely understand or relate to what I came to realize was a very real and prevalent thing and that there was a name for it: Cuckold. A man who WANTS his girlfriend/wife/significant other to have outside sexual partners. (What on Earth?!?!) There were even variations on the theme; dating, chastity, humiliation, interracial domination, even impregnation! Whoa! I just like the idea of my gal sucking that big cock in the laundromat!'!

It was not until just recently that I “discovered” this distinction between Cuckolding and a Stag/Vixen lifestyle. When I read about those differences and that a “Stag” is motivated by her pleasure (and his) and not at all interested in humiliation or denial I realized! ........ “That’s It!”

I have seen (and enjoyed) many posts & images in these forums that lead me to believe there is a fair amount of common, “shared” interest in this Stag-Vixen, Hotwife topic and I would love to hear from others who share this interest or better yet have experience; either as the Stag, Vixen or Bull in these scenarios.

In my current relationship, we occasionally add some role-playing, “what if” scenarios and my gf has, over the past couple of years, become increasingly engaged with the conversation; “How/where would we find someone?”, “What would he do to me?”, Would it be a stranger, or someone we know?”, “Would you watch or join in?” ..... and it always hightens the sexual energy and passion, for both of us.

I suspect if/when weever do make the leap & test the waters it would be in during an erotic vacation situation where we both agree it could happen, if we feel the moment. But first I think a conversation needs to take place when we’re not having sex ..... of course, it will definitely lead to sex.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Why are people who can comprehend a couple who has an open marriage (even if it isn't their thing) seemingly unable to comprehend this lifestyle?

Okay, I am going to be completely and quite embarrassingly honest on this subject. For me, and I will assume many, many other people it is due to their own general insecurity.

I was not wildly successful when I was dating. A virgin until I was 23. Though I was decent looking and in great shape, I was not very confident or outgoing. When I met my wife, our attraction was instantaneous. She was sexy and gorgeous and for reasons that still elude me, she saw me and said, "I'll have me some of that!"

I have always understood how lucky I was to find and marry someone like her. So for me, the idea of cheating has always been ludicrous. The old adage, why have hamburgers out, when there is steak at home?

So for me to contemplate an open marriage, swinging, or any non-monogamous pursuit is equally ludicrous. I am just not personally secure enough, to want to see her in the arms of another man. That's the honest truth and this is likely the only place I'd feel anonymous enough to admit it.

My wife is pro-monogamy for her own reasons which I will not go into here, so the subject has never come up for serious consideration. Which suits me just fine.

I think my story is NOT unusual and I think it's one of the major reasons people aren't accepting of those lifestyles. Because it forces people to face their insecurities. To see another couple, who are bold enough, secure enough, and brave enough to dabble outside monogamy successfully, makes me hate a part of myself that I would happily not think about, secure in my little monogamous world.

Whew.

 

[LexiSmiles92]

Any marriage that is built on love and trust is beautiful. Truly. That said, not everyone can see the beauty that others see ... and that's okay. My philosophy with just about everything (including this): Be kind and open and when others aren't, don't hate the haters for hating what they hate because they don't have eyes to see.

 

[policywank]

Okay, I am going to be completely and quite embarrassingly honest on this subject. For me, and I will assume many, many other people it is due to their own general insecurity.

I was not wildly successful when I was dating. A virgin until I was 23. Though I was decent looking and in great shape, I was not very confident or outgoing. When I met my wife, our attraction was instantaneous. She was sexy and gorgeous and for reasons that still elude me, she saw me and said, "I'll have me some of that!"

I have always understood how lucky I was to find and marry someone like her. So for me, the idea of cheating has always been ludicrous. The old adage, why have hamburgers out, when there is steak at home?

So for me to contemplate an open marriage, swinging, or any non-monogamous pursuit is equally ludicrous. I am just not personally secure enough, to want to see her in the arms of another man. That's the honest truth and this is likely the only place I'd feel anonymous enough to admit it.

My wife is pro-monogamy for her own reasons which I will not go into here, so the subject has never come up for serious consideration. Which suits me just fine.

I think my story is NOT unusual and I think it's one of the major reasons people aren't accepting of those lifestyles. Because it forces people to face their insecurities. To see another couple, who are bold enough, secure enough, and brave enough to dabble outside monogamy successfully, makes me hate a part of myself that I would happily not think about, secure in my little monogamous world.

Whew.

There is certainly no need to hate any part of yourself. I think you are correct that many people just wouldn't be secure enough to contemplate non-monogamy. That is just fine unless you really want to embrace non-monogamy and are not doing so due to fear of your own insecurities.

I have always found the burgers vs steak adage a bit limiting because I think it implies an inaccurate picture of human sexuality - the idea that everyone just wants to find the best of something then stick solely with that. Some do of course and that is just fine. But for me food makes a great metaphor. I like steak and hamburgers and many other foods. If I was having the same steak every single night you can be sure that I would want to mix it up now and then including with hamburgers. I like variety. It isn't like all food is on a continuum of best to worst and I always want the highest rated item available. My tastes vary based upon any number of circumstances and my desire for variety is vast.

 

[BBCfan]

Ive been in the cuckold lifestyle off and on for over 16 years,it was my husbands idea in the first place and because i loved him i eventually agreed and it has been an up and down experience, no pun indended and it has changed our marriage but we are still married, 26 years so far

Question for you if you don't mind.

So for 5+ years of wanting my wife to reconnect with a FWB she had for years before we met, and her saying no interest, things recently changed.

He had reached out again after quite a few years to try and hook up with her again , and after her being more open the fantasy play with me, she agreed to move forward with it slowly and see what happens.

It has rejuvenated out sexual connection just sharing the idea often. She initiates it almost all the time which is awesome, and she has been hornier than I've noticed in quite some time.

From your perspective of having your husband "talk" you into it, any advice for me as what to possibly expect or how to best support her in the journey?

 

[bjlatx]

My wife is on her way home from seeing her favorite bull. I'll be sliding into her shortly after she gets home. I can't wait. We have a tentative date with a new guy Saturday that I really hope works out...not as much as she does though.

 

[pike07]

You need to talk about it with her and see if you both would be open to some additional fun and in what format. In general sex can be good for older people. I think the old use it or lose adage applies and for a woman at least, it is good to know that someone would like to have sex with her. Someone besides her husband. I will say that from what I read and have seen, it is harder for older men to find partners than it is for older women. I guess the laws of supply and demand.

My husband and I are over 50 years old, but we practice cuckold relationships. For the last three years we have had a constant friend who is older than us. We all like it, and age does not prevent us from getting joy.

 

[lil_jenni]

This may not be the right thread for this, but it's the closest I found.

So, I have a dilemma. I received a PM on here telling me I'm despicable for cuckolding my husband by engaging in sexual activity with an 18-year-old male (as an aside, no one has ever accused me of this when I had a GF last year ). I didn't really think Hubby would be a cuckold since our marriage parameters include me expressing my poly side. Hubby could do the same, if he had a poly side. He doesn't, so he doesn't.

But he also has no interest in hearing about or facilitating my explorations. He accepts that is who I am, but it's not part of our dynamic together. So, I never considered him a cuck or what I am doing as cuckolding. I have always been faithful to the parameters we have for our marriage. When those parameters did not include being with other people, I did not engage in sexual activity with other people. I see what we have now as more of an open marriage. I mean, he is free to do what I am doing.

But there is a difference, because I would want to know and hear about whatever he did with another woman. I would love to watch. I would love to be tied and helpless and forced to not only watch, but also forced to to get him hard so he could fuck her some more. I have that cuckqueen fetish, and we have explored it a little in our three FFMs we have had, but I'd be willing to push it farther.

The gist of it all is that I do not see Hubby as a cuckold, even though I am engaging in sexual activity with other people and he is not. And I know he would not consider himself in the cuck role. What do you all think?

 

[Rob_Royale]

I think you have an intensely personal relationship and it's up to the two of you to define. Ask him. No one else's opinion matters.

 

[Islander55]

My husband and I are over 50 years old, but we practice cuckold relationships. For the last three years we have had a constant friend who is older than us. We all like it, and age does not prevent us from getting joy.

The 50's are a good age for exploring sexuality. You have usually learned what you like and don't like, generally more secure in your relationships and pleasure and joy are still there for your age group. In fact you are almost youngsters in my book. I am glad to hear that you are willing and able to have some fun.

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

This may not be the right thread for this, but it's the closest I found.

So, I have a dilemma. I received a PM on here telling me I'm despicable for cuckolding my husband by engaging in sexual activity with an 18-year-old male (as an aside, no one has ever accused me of this when I had a GF last year ). I didn't really think Hubby would be a cuckold since our marriage parameters include me expressing my poly side. Hubby could do the same, if he had a poly side. He doesn't, so he doesn't.

But he also has no interest in hearing about or facilitating my explorations. He accepts that is who I am, but it's not part of our dynamic together. So, I never considered him a cuck or what I am doing as cuckolding. I have always been faithful to the parameters we have for our marriage. When those parameters did not include being with other people, I did not engage in sexual activity with other people. I see what we have now as more of an open marriage. I mean, he is free to do what I am doing.

But there is a difference, because I would want to know and hear about whatever he did with another woman. I would love to watch. I would love to be tied and helpless and forced to not only watch, but also forced to to get him hard so he could fuck her some more. I have that cuckqueen fetish, and we have explored it a little in our three FFMs we have had, but I'd be willing to push it farther.

The gist of it all is that I do not see Hubby as a cuckold, even though I am engaging in sexual activity with other people and he is not. And I know he would not consider himself in the cuck role. What do you all think?

I don’t know if you’ve read this whole thread but some of our more astute members have touched on the different dynamics and labels applied to what you/I/they’re doing.

I think we’ve established that “cuckolding” in the sense that it’s a kink, isn’t the dynamic you and your husband are participating in. I’ll let other members answer specifics but that’s how I see this.

In the technical sense, yes, he’s a cuckold, but I maintain that the dictionary definition is an outdated term and only used in that way in literary uses. Much like the term “gay” has changed its meaning, to the point that Merriam-Webster has the new meaning as the #1 explanation. In fifty years, I’m guessing “cuckold” in the literary use will be relegated to its second meaning and the Kink/Fetish use will be number one.

 

[Islander55]

This may not be the right thread for this, but it's the closest I found.

So, I have a dilemma. I received a PM on here telling me I'm despicable for cuckolding my husband by engaging in sexual activity with an 18-year-old male (as an aside, no one has ever accused me of this when I had a GF last year ). I didn't really think Hubby would be a cuckold since our marriage parameters include me expressing my poly side. Hubby could do the same, if he had a poly side. He doesn't, so he doesn't.

But he also has no interest in hearing about or facilitating my explorations. He accepts that is who I am, but it's not part of our dynamic together. So, I never considered him a cuck or what I am doing as cuckolding. I have always been faithful to the parameters we have for our marriage. When those parameters did not include being with other people, I did not engage in sexual activity with other people. I see what we have now as more of an open marriage. I mean, he is free to do what I am doing.

But there is a difference, because I would want to know and hear about whatever he did with another woman. I would love to watch. I would love to be tied and helpless and forced to not only watch, but also forced to to get him hard so he could fuck her some more. I have that cuckqueen fetish, and we have explored it a little in our three FFMs we have had, but I'd be willing to push it farther.

The gist of it all is that I do not see Hubby as a cuckold, even though I am engaging in sexual activity with other people and he is not. And I know he would not consider himself in the cuck role. What do you all think?

Each couple has to work out what is best for them While it seems that you each would like the relationship to be a little different, it seems that you have reached a compromise that works for you. I would suggest that you simply ignore the naysayers. I guess your husband is technically a cuckold since you do have sex with other men but I agree with your sentiment. I have sex with other men and my husband knows and encourages me to explore my sexuality. There is no humiliation and he actually gets some benefit from it as he does like to hear about the details.

 

[Mike_In_Taiwan]

The key thing, I think, is that it's a relationship, though an unconventional one. The wife, husband and bull share a connection that matters to them, though the vanilla world won't 'get it'.

Which is why a lot of couples keep this under wraps, though I do know of one couple where the wife and bull are known as being together by some of her friends...who also know her husband.