Damn

[My Erotic Tale]

AUF! AUF! der Pudel barks, I say "Sitzen Sie"
Der poodle does not listen much - not to me
In sehr alten Zeit, a black poodle dogged me
Barked and would not leave, pissing on the poet-tree
ZUM Dichterbaum, herauf den Dichter-Baum
ZUM ZUM ZUM up the poet-tree

Ja!, In sehr alten Zeit, I smelled the smoke
from the fire. Sei ruhig,
Pudel! renne nicht hin und wider!
Lege dich hinter den Ofen nieder.
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

Oh most Fautian foul
It was cold, I was bored
I burnt the wood of the poet-tree
stained with poodle puddles
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

In sehr alten Zeitgeist
Je dis cela, je ne dis rien,
l'ennui, donne à chien caniche noir
Mit Hund entdeckt man doch manchmal
ein Rottweiler
Gesundheit! There is more?

Sing - Sing
mit Wittgenstein

Wovon man nicht sprechen kann
darüber muß man schweigen

Dada
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

Awright, who the fuck
hung the urinal in the Art Gallery?

laughin >>> humorous and thanks I needed a laugh

 

[anonamouse]

still found it hard to ascertain
In sehr alten Zeitgeist
Je dis cela, je ne dis rien,
l'ennui, donne à chien caniche noir
Mit Hund entdeckt man doch manchmal
ein Rottweiler
Gesundheit! There is more?

and would really be intersted in your meaing behind it....

doggeral

 

[bluerains]

doggeral

omgfofl...

 

[anonamouse]

AUF! AUF! der Pudel barks, I say "Sitzen Sie"
Der poodle does not listen much - not to me
In sehr alten Zeit, a black poodle dogged me
Barked and would not leave, pissing on the poet-tree
ZUM Dichterbaum, herauf den Dichter-Baum
ZUM ZUM ZUM up the poet-tree

Ja!, In sehr alten Zeit, I smelled the smoke
from the fire. Sei ruhig,
Pudel! renne nicht hin und wider!
Lege dich hinter den Ofen nieder.
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

Oh most Fautian foul
It was cold, I was bored
I burnt the wood of the poet-tree
stained with poodle puddles
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

In sehr alten Zeitgeist
Je dis cela, je ne dis rien,
l'ennui, donne à chien caniche noir
Mit Hund entdeckt man doch manchmal
ein Rottweiler
Gesundheit! There is more?

Sing - Sing
mit Wittgenstein

Wovon man nicht sprechen kann
darüber muß man schweigen

Dada
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

Awright, who the fuck
hung the urinal in the Art Gallery?

R. Mutt?
Fountain
Talk

whatchoo up to numberbuddy - Break down of the tricameral mind?

 

[Tzara]

§ 1201. Circumvention of copyright protection systems
Hmmm.

AUF! AUF! der Pudel barks, I say "Sitzen Sie"
Der poodle does not listen much - not to me
In sehr alten Zeit, a black poodle dogged me
Barked and would not leave, pissing on the poet-tree
ZUM Dichterbaum, herauf den Dichter-Baum
ZUM ZUM ZUM up the poet-tree

Ja!, In sehr alten Zeit, I smelled the smoke
from the fire. Sei ruhig,
Pudel! renne nicht hin und wider!
Lege dich hinter den Ofen nieder.
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

Oh most Fautian foul
It was cold, I was bored
I burnt the wood of the poet-tree
stained with poodle puddles
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

In sehr alten Zeitgeist
Je dis cela, je ne dis rien,
l'ennui, donne à chien caniche noir
Mit Hund entdeckt man doch manchmal
ein Rottweiler
Gesundheit! There is more?

Sing - Sing
mit Wittgenstein

Wovon man nicht sprechen kann
darüber muß man schweigen

Dada
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

Awright, who the fuck
hung the urinal in the Art Gallery?

examinationfootNOTe: METAPHYSICS

O, we sit around the coffee table
here in old Vienna
at Moritz’ haus and discuss dear L’s
lucky number 7.

Wovon man nicht sprechen kann
darüber muß man schweigen.
So crystalline, so perfect now,
a diamond, it, in hiding.

Ol’ metaphysic’s on the run,
our Rudy stands to say.
“It has no referent, not one!
So hopefully one day

those sloppy Frenchy philosophes
we’ve put now on the run
will finally admit our truths.
If not, we’ll pull out guns.”

Short Freddy Ayer, uncomfortable
with this so violent statement,
crept mouse-like quietly to north
and west ‘til back in England.
Though positive the Logic worked,
he disagreed with Method.

Ah, weaponry—
the Prussian way, of course,
it is to settle argument.

But, soft!

The fond etheric sky
spread wider still than wide
sings siren songs in Cambridgeshire!

We suspend the present narrative,
and reverse in time we go.
The Way-Back set for when the spell
of Ludwig’s Delphic speech did first
begin disciples minds to swell.

O, O, O, O that Wittgenstehinian rag!

It’s so elegant,
hyperintelligent

that old Moore came seeking on his knees
up the coast of Norway, notebook crabbed
(nor brown nor blue) in aging hands,
came crawling penitent with pleas
that he could just write down
the nordic Ludwig’s cast-off lees.

“Come on back to the Cam, chuck, honey!”
George said, “Bertie and I miss your
pentecostal mien.
Besides, we don’t want to wear
our neckties anymore. Your
independent spirit and subtle
mind we do admire, and
we don’t talk to Bradley.
At least with you
we meekly sue
and you sometimes even smile,
or you grimace anyhow.
Come on little cat’s feet
and if you have nothing to say
say that
and that is poetry,
mein Herr.”

But Ludwig dreamt of wing design,
door latches,
urinals. He knew some artists,
Klimt was one (he painted Grete,
after all), but for him
true art was genre fiction. Still,
he condescended to return to Cam
and there examine
Professors Moore and Russell
on his dissertation grand-
iose, though short.

They passed, though not with Firsts.

The book L published, Abhandlung,
made Ludie logic’s toast. Der Kreis
glossed over or ignored its flagrant
flaws, the mystical, and more.

So the ladder that the Kreisler’s climbed
wasn’t Ludwig’s after all.
No wonder, then, that Popper came
and caused them all to fall.

 

[champagne1982]

§ 1201. Circumvention of copyright protection systems
Hmmm.


examinationfootNOTe: METAPHYSICS

<snip>

Would the pudel's barks be more palatable with quote marks? Please note that twelveoone didn't claim entire stretches of this poem to be his, merely, he used a line or phrase without citations, even thematically, his poem is more parody than plaigiarism.

Thankyou, Tzara, for pointing out the original work where some of the German lines appear and the poem which inspired the short strophe,
"Sing - Sing
mit Wittgenstein".

Otherwise, is this theft or merely a clever twist on another poet's verse?

 

[Tzara]

Would the pudel's barks be more palatable with quote marks? Please note that twelveoone didn't claim entire stretches of this poem to be his, merely, he used a line or phrase without citations, even thematically, his poem is more parody than plaigiarism.

Thankyou, Tzara, for pointing out the original work where some of the German lines appear and the poem which inspired the short strophe,
"Sing - Sing
mit Wittgenstein".

Otherwise, is this theft or merely a clever twist on another poet's verse?

Actually, the "1201" reference was to twelveoone's alias, not to anything related to his poem. I am curious as to whether that's where he came up with the ID. If that was interpreted as slamming him on it, I'm sorry. 'Twas not so intended.

I really like his poem. My "footnote" is just playing with it. Not intended to comment negatively on it--just me playing homage in my clumsy way to something I found funny and exhilarating. I am "stealing" too. From Wittgenstein, Eliot, and John Cage--at least those are the ones I remember and recognize.

12's poem is, I think, quite brilliant. Eliot mixmastered with dada and logical atomism. Plus it's got a beat and you can dance to it.

Oh, no! I'm starting to sound like a fan letter. Better stop before I start begging him for his autograph.

 

[champagne1982]

Actually, the "1201" reference was to twelveoone's alias, not to anything related to his poem. I am curious as to whether that's where he came up with the ID. If that was interpreted as slamming him on it, I'm sorry. 'Twas not so intended.

I really like his poem. My "footnote" is just playing with it. Not intended to comment negatively on it--just me playing homage in my clumsy way to something I found funny and exhilarating. I am "stealing" too. From Wittgenstein, Eliot, and John Cage--at least those are the ones I remember and recognize.

12's poem is, I think, quite brilliant. Eliot mixmastered with dada and logical atomism. Plus it's got a beat and you can dance to it.

Oh, no! I'm starting to sound like a fan letter. Better stop before I start begging him for his autograph.

Oh... I feel an idiot. LOL. Your poem is just as wonderful as his. I thought you were calling him on borrowing lines from YOUR poem rather than using some of his in one you'd been inspired to write.

Congrats to both of you. I think they're both brilliant.

 

[Tzara]

Oh... I feel an idiot. LOL. Your poem is just as wonderful as his. I thought you were calling him on borrowing lines from YOUR poem rather than using some of his in one you'd been inspired to write.

Congrats to both of you. I think they're both brilliant.

Actually the line in question:

Wovon man nicht sprechen kann darüber muß man schweigen.

is the concluding line (proposition number 7) in Ludwig Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosopicus (Logische-Philosophische Abhandlung), one of the landmark works in 20th century philosophy. The classic English translation is

Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.

or, to paraphrase later translations (I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and look this up),

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

The Tractatus was originally published in 1922, so it is out of copyright anyway, at least in the USA.

Language is a beautifully ambiguous medium, godammit, and I love her.

 

[Rybka]

Actually the line in question:

Wovon man nicht sprechen kann darüber muß man schweigen.

is the concluding line (proposition number 7) in Ludwig Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosopicus (Logische-Philosophische Abhandlung), one of the landmark works in 20th century philosophy. The classic English translation is

Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.

or, to paraphrase later translations (I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and look this up),

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

The Tractatus was originally published in 1922, so it is out of copyright anyway, at least in the USA.

Language is a beautifully ambiguous medium, godammit, and I love her.

But you both mislead. Ludwig repudiated the Tractatus, (Thanks in part to Popper and Italian street signs - and yes I caught the allusion, as well as those to the Blue and Brown books [What happened to the final notebook- no mention?]. Why do you ignore The Investigations", the start of ordinary language philosophy?

"Philosophical problems arise when language goes on a holiday".
"There is no justification."
"Listen for the queerness, hear it ring."​

 

[Tzara]

But you both mislead. Ludwig repudiated the Tractatus, (Thanks in part to Popper and Italian street signs - and yes I caught the allusion, as well as those to the Blue and Brown books [What happened to the final notebook- no mention?]. Why do you ignore The Investigations", the start of ordinary language philosophy?

"Philosophical problems arise when language goes on a holiday".
"There is no justification."
"Listen for the queerness, hear it ring."​

Well, 'cuz I find the Tractatus more, um, poetic than the Philosophical Investigations (though the line "Listen for the queerness, hear it ring" is pretty good, and that's where I assume it's from). And der Wiener Kreis was not influenced by W's later philosophy--indeed, they hated it.

I do use

Do not forget that a poem, even though it is composed in the language of information, is not used in the language-game of giving information.

as the epigraph to something I have in draft right now. It's from Zettel but has, I think, the character of the later philosophy.

Would that work?

 

[bogusbrig]

Actually the line in question:


Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.

The problem with Wittgenstein is that much of his fan base seems to have taken him quite literally, assuming that words reduce, expand or just ring fence our world. Well language is quite a clumsey tool but the silences can to be filled with other forms of communication and experience.


I don't know why I wrote that, it's really got nothing to do with the conversation but it's early and I'm grumpy, the coffee perculator is broke so I'm going to leave it.

 

[annaswirls]

The problem with Wittgenstein is that much of his fan base seems to have taken him quite literally, assuming that words reduce, expand or just ring fence our world. Well language is quite a clumsey tool but the silences can to be filled with other forms of communication and experience.


I don't know why I wrote that, it's really got nothing to do with the conversation but it's early and I'm grumpy, the coffee perculator is broke so I'm going to leave it.

the pump don't work
cos the vandals took the handles

as: watching this thread with great interest and nothing in my pocket but a dylan quote

 

[twelveoone]

He's dead, as is Goethe (two lines stolen from him) Urinal stolen from Duchamp, also.
Poodle wandered in.

Had it been posted - Faust lines would have noted, Wittgenstein's lines should have been italized, but not doesn't really have to be noted. It is a direct lead.

just seeing if anyone is paying attention - good catch - Tzara

as anoanmaouse says doggeral, detourment

O, O, O, O that Wittgenstehinian rag! - good, liked yours

 

[annaswirls]

He's dead, as is Goethe (two lines stolen from him) Urinal stolen from Duchamp, also.
Poodle wandered in.

Had it been posted - Faust lines would have noted, Wittgenstein's lines should have been italized, but not doesn't really have to be noted. It is a direct lead.

just seeing if anyone is paying attention - good catch - Tzara

as anoanmaouse says doggeral, detourment

O, O, O, O that Wittgenstehinian rag! - good, liked yours

hmmm I did not read and notice, but was not familiar with the lines, Duchamp's urinal, of course was hilarious!

It would be interesting to check out in the general population, which references would be noticed. I wrote a poem once and mentioned Marcel Marceaux and painting a mask, and the editor did not know of him and it threw her off enough to send my poem back with a big old confusing no.

 

[Tzara]

.....

 

[twelveoone]

Well, 'cuz I find the Tractatus more, um, poetic than the Philosophical Investigations (though the line "Listen for the queerness, hear it ring" is pretty good, and that's where I assume it's from). And der Wiener Kreis was not influenced by W's later philosophy--indeed, they hated it.

I do use

Do not forget that a poem, even though it is composed in the language of information, is not used in the language-game of giving information.

as the epigraph to something I have in draft right now. It's from Zettel but has, I think, the character of the later philosophy.

Would that work?

Works for me, surprised Rybka didn't yell about "Faustian Foul" - I stole that, he's still alive, I think.
Any suggestions on this? I think it has potentional, besides, I never wrote a poodle poem before.

 

[twelveoone]

The problem with Wittgenstein is that much of his fan base seems to have taken him quite literally, assuming that words reduce, expand or just ring fence our world. Well language is quite a clumsey tool but the silences can to be filled with other forms of communication and experience.

like a tolchock in the litso, eh, me bolshy brat, me droogie?

 

[twelveoone]

hmmm I did not read and notice, but was not familiar with the lines, Duchamp's urinal, of course was hilarious!

It would be interesting to check out in the general population, which references would be noticed. I wrote a poem once and mentioned Marcel Marceaux and painting a mask, and the editor did not know of him and it threw her off enough to send my poem back with a big old confusing no.

or a bit of the old in out, me devotchka?

sorry, character dropped.

The problem with editors, alot of them fresh outoschool with the MFA slip, haven't been stepped on enough by life, and just too damn lazy and dumb to even google it.

This is what I know, thereforth it must be good, Ich habe das Papier.

Perhaps, and 1201 gets all whispy eyed here, they could use
a good tolchock in the litso

R.Mutt

 

[Tzara]

Works for me, surprised Rybka didn't yell about "Faustian Foul" - I stole that, he's still alive, I think.
Any suggestions on this? I think it has potentional, besides, I never wrote a poodle poem before.

I wondered about "Faustian foul." That seemed too much of a coincidence.

I think this has tremendous potential.

First off, it sounds wonderfully well to my ear. Much of contemporary poetry is so focused on image that it sometimes sounds like reading the legalese in an insurance policy. This rocks, even in my phonetic German.

The meter doesn't seem quite right in the line

Der poodle does not listen much - not to me​

It feels like it needs a couple more beats before the "not to me."

I'm a little lost on the "wood spider" stuff. If that's a reference, I couldn't find it, so it goes zooming over my head like a jetliner at 35,000 feet.

The Wittgenstein section doesn't thematically tie in with the rest. Where'd the poodle go? Perhaps you could tie in this anecdote as part of the section. Silence, poetry, and the (forthcoming) Duchamp reference also all point towards John Cage.

I think you should make the punch line of the poem explicit as well, something like

Awright, who the fuck
hung the urinal in the Art Gallery?

Our mutt, our mutt, our mutt.​

or some variation on that like

Our mutt. Who but R. Mutt?​

as when I first read it, my answer was (of course) "Duchamp." Missed the joke.

In general, there may be too much foreign language in this for most people. I read a little French, so was OK with that, and a tiny bit of Norwegian, which let me get some of the sense of the German, but without running it through a translation program, some of it would be lost. Italicizing the Goethe and Wittgenstein lines would help, as I would have thought to Google the text and would have found the Goethe lines. I happen to know the Wittgenstein lines on sight, but most people wouldn't. Merely running the Goethe lines through a translation program is pointless, as their value to the poem is thematic (introducing the Mephistophelean pup).

Where to go with it? Well, thematically, I love the idea of a Mephistophelean spirit pissing on poetry and leading eventually to Duchamp and Dada and a urinal (effectively pissing on art history as well). Throw in Cage and you can piss on music history too. That all links well. The problem, I think, is the Wittgenstein section as I mentioned above. And whatever you do, don't fuck up the sound of it.

Oh, and don't footnote it either. We're all adults and can use Google.

 

[PatCarrington]

AUF! AUF! der Pudel barks, I say "Sitzen Sie"
Der poodle does not listen much - not to me
In sehr alten Zeit, a black poodle dogged me
Barked and would not leave, pissing on the poet-tree
ZUM Dichterbaum, herauf den Dichter-Baum
ZUM ZUM ZUM up the poet-tree

Ja!, In sehr alten Zeit, I smelled the smoke
from the fire. Sei ruhig,
Pudel! renne nicht hin und wider!
Lege dich hinter den Ofen nieder.
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

Oh most Fautian foul
It was cold, I was bored
I burnt the wood of the poet-tree
stained with poodle puddles
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

In sehr alten Zeitgeist
Je dis cela, je ne dis rien,
l'ennui, donne à chien caniche noir
Mit Hund entdeckt man doch manchmal
ein Rottweiler
Gesundheit! There is more?

Sing - Sing
mit Wittgenstein

Wovon man nicht sprechen kann
darüber muß man schweigen

Dada
(careful careful of the wood
spider)

Awright, who the fuck
hung the urinal in the Art Gallery?

as an old friend of yours might say....

.....soooo, what wall do you expect to hang this one on, Jackson?

 

[twelveoone]

I wondered about "Faustian foul." That seemed too much of a coincidence.

I think this has tremendous potential.

First off, it sounds wonderfully well to my ear. Much of contemporary poetry is so focused on image that it sometimes sounds like reading the legalese in an insurance policy. This rocks, even in my phonetic German.

The meter doesn't seem quite right in the line

Der poodle does not listen much - not to me​

It feels like it needs a couple more beats before the "not to me."

I'm a little lost on the "wood spider" stuff. If that's a reference, I couldn't find it, so it goes zooming over my head like a jetliner at 35,000 feet.

The Wittgenstein section doesn't thematically tie in with the rest. Where'd the poodle go? Perhaps you could tie in this anecdote as part of the section. Silence, poetry, and the (forthcoming) Duchamp reference also all point towards John Cage.

I think you should make the punch line of the poem explicit as well, something like

Awright, who the fuck
hung the urinal in the Art Gallery?

Our mutt, our mutt, our mutt.​

or some variation on that like

Our mutt. Who but R. Mutt?​

as when I first read it, my answer was (of course) "Duchamp." Missed the joke.

In general, there may be too much foreign language in this for most people. I read a little French, so was OK with that, and a tiny bit of Norwegian, which let me get some of the sense of the German, but without running it through a translation program, some of it would be lost. Italicizing the Goethe and Wittgenstein lines would help, as I would have thought to Google the text and would have found the Goethe lines. I happen to know the Wittgenstein lines on sight, but most people wouldn't. Merely running the Goethe lines through a translation program is pointless, as their value to the poem is thematic (introducing the Mephistophelean pup).

Where to go with it? Well, thematically, I love the idea of a Mephistophelean spirit pissing on poetry and leading eventually to Duchamp and Dada and a urinal (effectively pissing on art history as well). Throw in Cage and you can piss on music history too. That all links well. The problem, I think, is the Wittgenstein section as I mentioned above. And whatever you do, don't fuck up the sound of it.

Oh, and don't footnote it either. We're all adults and can use Google.

Damn, I love those lines, just found them a week ago. I had this vision of the Hills being alive with the sound of Wittgenstein. They do sound so good.
You're right it is half-baked.

- Faustian foul - more of a marker, of course it does refer to the smell of buring piss soaked wood. It goes, or gets rewrote. "wood spider" is useless, a residual from an earlier write, boards from the Poet-tree made into an outhouse, outhouse burnt down.

I was thinking Duchamp may have been the weak link, Who but R. Mutt - love it.

This is what I was thinking earlier, strenghen link between Goethe and Wittgenstein and get rid of Duchamp, glad you talked me out of it, I'll check out Cage.

Thank you much. Check this out, if you don't have already
Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus

Oh,
"This rocks, even in my phonetic German."
- thank you

It feels like it needs a couple more beats before the "not to me."
I do not know how to express this with punctuation, English doesn't seem to have spacers, it is supposed to have a couple of silent beats. Advise anyone?

 

[Tzara]

Damn, I love those lines, just found them a week ago. I had this vision of the Hills being alive with the sound of Wittgenstein. They do sound so good.

Ah, mein sohn, be careful here. As Rybka and bogusbrig have pointed out, it is easy to be seduced by Ludwig's precise prose. The Tractatus, in particular, is especially seductive--it reads like an austere poem. Dear Gott I love it, but it is very very difficult to properly interpret. Wittgenstein himself was dismissive of G.E. Moore and Bertrand Russell (two of the 20th century's most important philosophers) in their reading and interpretation of it. Wittgenstein himself, as Rybka has noted, repudiated the Tractatus in his later philosophy.

That being said, wallow in its brilliance. It is a work of genius--flawed, but genius nonetheless.

"wood spider" is useless, a residual from an earlier write, boards from the Poet-tree made into an outhouse, outhouse burnt down.

Don't just discard this without thinking about it. The wood spider speaks of the danger of willy-nilly fumbling around in the stack of wood left over from whacking the poet-tree into fireplace-sized pieces. Plus it rhymes with stuff (I say needer you say n-eye-der--my phonetics say the latter--correct me if I'm wrong), and, count me in the moral minority here, I like rhyme.

Poetry is the sound of language, singing.

I was thinking Duchamp may have been the weak link, Who but R. Mutt - love it.

This is what I was thinking earlier, strenghen link between Goethe and Wittgenstein and get rid of Duchamp, glad you talked me out of it, I'll check out Cage.

Whatever you do with this poem, do not get rid of the Duchamp stuff. That is what makes it, thematically:

• You (narrator, spirit of art and poetry/whatever) acquire a poodle.
• Poodle (thank you, Goethe) turns out to be Mephistophilis.
• Impish poodle pisses on poet-tree.
• We burn the wood of poet-tree and probably sing German student drinking songs. (Cue Orff's Carmina Burana.)
• Wittgenstein appears (descending from the heavens, as he would think appropriate) and declares that silence is what we must say when we cannot say something (i.e., be specific, supply a referent, provide a picture of reality, or some such nonsense).
• Poodle runs away? (Or is he merely taking a crap outside in the hall? Appropriate, perhaps, for what is going on.)
• And zo dada. Then comes Duchamp who, to emphasize the pissing motif, plunks a urinal in an art exhibit (on its back, though, not on the wall).
• Autograph "R. Mutt" (our mutt) and hey, we're done!

Oh,
"This rocks, even in my phonetic German."
- thank you

Oh stop. Thank you. It's your clever and interesting poem. I like reading your stuff.

It feels like it needs a couple more beats before the "not to me."
I do not know how to express this with punctuation, English doesn't seem to have spacers, it is supposed to have a couple of silent beats. Advise anyone?

The dash as caesura gives you one extra beat, to my ear. That's OK, but not wholly satisfying. I would prefer something like

Der poodle does not listen much - at least not to me

but it's your ear, doctor, and you are a way better writer than I am. Trust your instincts, Luke.

One last comment--I forgot this on my first go-round: I'd like to see the accent explicit on this line:

In sehr alten Zeit, a black poodle doggèd me

as the line doesn't scan properly for me otherwise. Since you're using "dogged" as a verb, it would be a single syllable (as opposed to the adjectival form) and that doesn't sound right.

The more I read this poem, the more I like it. You can write, twelvie.

Have a particularly swell day and post a revision, please.

 

[twelveoone]

oh, oh, I'm getting my ass kicked

I wallow in your madness
Really, you scanned this? You amaze me, Caught me on all my multilingual mispronunications. You Rock!
I like these ideas.

"The dash as caesura gives you one extra beat, to my ear. That's OK, but not wholly satisfying. I would prefer something like

Der poodle does not listen much - at least not to me"

Here I agree about the spaces, not the words, can I use three dashs? what do I do? I hear in spaces,they are implied to me, how do I convey it, to avoid the extra words.

 

[twelveoone]

as an old friend of yours might say....

.....soooo, what wall do you expect to hang this one on, Jackson?

I know it wouldn't be her's.
Give her a