**Daring to Learn about BDSM..**

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: Monster 666..

I don't miss many opportunities to twist something a bit and make a joke. I didn't mean to offend. I can do a lot better a job of flaming someone, if that's my intent.

_____________________________
I'm pretty darn sure you didnt mean to offend Monster,i apologize to you also
damn where are those hormone pills when ya need em? lol I would sure HOPE ya could "flame better than that babe!! geez I mean I'm such a good target for it nowadays but as the saying goes "If ya dont lie down,then NOONE can walk on ya" ,peace sweety

 

[WillowPuss]

Re: My Dear Willow..

thank you ever so kindly for your post dear.
<snip>

I believe I understand more than you think I do however I have already apologized for my wrongness regarding my post to you before (it was in Dixie's post) and being the gracious woman i think you are,I'm sure we are all over that ..
<snip>

a few hours with my Dom and a few months really getting to know Him was ALL i needed ,to each His/her own sweety..

Your post is taken with the kindness it was intended with ,please take mine as such also... nope not hinderin me at all sweety ,takes ALOT more than posts to do that!lol

peace be unto you & yours sweety

Dream, please excuse me for snipping your post - I just wanted to quote the bits I wish to answer.

Firstly - I missed your apology as it seemed to be addressed to dixi, not myself.


Secondly .. please, please stop calling me sweety.
I really don't like it.
A sweetie, in this county is like candy in America ... its something you may give a child as a reward.
It just sends a shudder through me ... I know many people like that, but I just don't ... so please, for me, just don't.

(Ohhhhhhhh and the 'my dear willow' at the beginning of your post - I hope that wasn't as condescending and dissimissive as it sounded?)

 

[~Dream~]

Willow Puss

you know when you first came to Lit I welcomed you along with my Master,remember? we talked in messenger you and I about children,different things.. and then I lost contact with you somehow,probably by my own fault but anyways the point is that I am NOT a mean or cruel person and I certainly did not mean Anything at all by calling you "dear" except in reference as to a "dear friend" nothing more or less,sorry that YOU took that all wrong(where IS that coming from,may I ask?) , not my intent at all.I apologize for calling you "sweety' also as I DID NOT KNOW THE ""connotations involved" I have an English friend who likes to use that word with me so didnt realize it was a "bad thing and I SHALL respect your wishes and also offer you your very own apology from me ,here in this post (not to be shared with Dixie) so whatever I have done,said or thought that was wrong "in your eyes'',I am sorry for,ok? are we cool yet? probably not..oh well *sigh* I'm only 1 woman after all.. have a nice evening Willow Puss,peace be upon you..

Dream

 

[Trainerman]

Transatlantic......

As the man said...Britain and America are two lands separated by a common language. Some words and phrases are used in both countries, with different meanings in each. Sometimes this can be funny.....sometimes not !

So sometimes, guys, we just have to be prepared to listen and translate for each other.

Now, if you want to get really complicated, try local British accents and colloquialisms.........


Dave

 

[Desdemona]

Re: Transatlantic......

As the man said...Britain and America are two lands separated by a common language. Some words and phrases are used in both countries, with different meanings in each. Sometimes this can be funny.....sometimes not !

So sometimes, guys, we just have to be prepared to listen and translate for each other.

Now, if you want to get really complicated, try local British accents and colloquialisms.........


Dave

That was so well said. I, like Dream, tend to refer to people as Sweety, Honey, Darlin' etc. It is always meant in a friendly way and never meant to offend. For me, it is a cultural thing. I grew up with it and sometimes don't realise I've been so familiar. If I ever annoy anyone with this, please just tell me and I'll try not to do it again.

I just thought this was a good opportunity to post a disclaimer.

 

[spankableBelle]

Re: Re: Transatlantic......

That was so well said. I, like Dream, tend to refer to people as Sweety, Honey, Darlin' etc. It is always meant in a friendly way and never meant to offend. For me, it is a cultural thing. I grew up with it and sometimes don't realise I've been so familiar. If I ever annoy anyone with this, please just tell me and I'll try not to do it again.

I just thought this was a good opportunity to post a disclaimer.

i have to go with Des on this. It is what is done where i come from...darlin', honey, etc... i have a British friend that loves it when i say these things, he finds it endearing, and most of the time, i don't even think about it...it's just part of who i am, where i come from...i try not to do it though, to people i don't know or am not comfortable with (which would be why i've referred to less than a few people here with such familiarity and whatever)...

my two cents...

belle

 

[Anastasia]

just a disinterested observers opinion from a lurky lurker...

Dream honey, you go ahead and learn. Good for you.

I have some advice:

1. Try to post in a way that's at least a little bit logical. Most of the time, most of us can't understand what the fuck your point is--or where it is in middle of all the apparently meaningless drivel that's surrounding it--or if you even have a point.

2. If you don't want to be treated like an addled child, then don't act like one. Leave your childish foot-stomping theatrics at home.

3. Remember: we're not here to train you. That's Artful's job. We're here to post and talk about BDSM as it relates to our lives. Most of us could give a flying fuck whether you agree with our thoughts or not.

4. As you keep pointing out, you're new to this. Many of us aren't. While our version of this is specific to us, individually, we have alot in common, those of us who've been there-done and/or thought a lot about BDSM. If you keep playing your little chat room games and you'll miss out on what we have to say, those of us who have the experience you say you want as well as those of us who've thought deeply into this even if we don't have the experience.

5. Know this: Most of us don't give a rat's ass who you like and who you don't like, who you consider REAL friends and who who think are not "sweetys" or your "sis". We're not here to build forts with you and and lob water balloons at those meanies over there, the ones who won't play kissy games with you. We're not here to share 's and x12's with you, either.

6. Your posts are so badly composed, so lacking in even basic punctuation, that many of us can't make much sense out of them. In all honesty, my 14 year old daughter could write rings around you---back when she was 10. You might want to work on your written communication skills a bit, dream, since this place is one in which we're judged, partially, on the way in which we express ourselves via written language. I'm talking the basics, here, things like periods, commas, paragraphs, complete sentences, the absence of run-on sentences, and accepted rules of capitalization.

We're here to grow and learn as adults, as dominants and submissives. This isn't a chat room where everyone kisses everyone else as they arrive and leave. It doesn't mean anything to any of us what you claim about yourself. Talk is cheap. What matters is how you contribute to the place as a whole and what you have to share.

You want to learn, fine.
Come sit at the adults table and act like an adult.
Otherwise don't be surprised that very few here take you seriously.




Edited for grammar mistakes; i really should always spell/grammar check before i post but, well, i don't.
(Now this is funny! You gotta admit it! )

Edited to add more: I lost the subbies pool as to when you'd be back, dream. I guessed 48 hours.

As one who is relatively new to this lifestyle, I've been educating myself by observing the interactions between the regular posters on this board and reading acounts of how each one integrates his/her kinky interests into everyday life. I don't post often because I have nothing to add and the search function has provided me with answers to any specific questons I had (and on some pretty obscure subjects, too).
HOWEVER...if the issue of whether this forum is a "welcoming place" to one and all is still being bantered about, I hope the above-referenced post by Cymbidia has removed any lingering doubts that this is a rather hostile environment to anyone who is not (or simply does not consider himself to be) as experienced, intelligent, educated, or articulate as she. Such verbal violence is the cyber equivalent of pummeling a person to the ground and someone who would actually take the time to formulate and write that venomous post is taking herself and this forum much too seriously. ( As a wise man once said, "...It's a fucking PORN site, people !!!...", or something like that)
I wish she would pick on somebody her own size, like that dastardly Lancecastor.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: just a disinterested observers opinion from a lurky lurker...

As one who is relatively new to this lifestyle, I've been educating myself by observing the interactions between the regular posters on this board and reading acounts of how each one integrates his/her kinky interests into everyday life. I don't post often because I have nothing to add and the search function has provided me with answers to any specific questons I had (and on some pretty obscure subjects, too).
HOWEVER...if the issue of whether this forum is a "welcoming place" to one and all is still being bantered about, I hope the above-referenced post by Cymbidia has removed any lingering doubts that this is a rather hostile environment to anyone who is not (or simply does not consider himself to be) as experienced, intelligent, educated, or articulate as she. Such verbal violence is the cyber equivalent of pummeling a person to the ground and someone who would actually take the time to formulate and write that venomous post is taking herself and this forum much too seriously. ( As a wise man once said, "...It's a fucking PORN site, people !!!...", or something like that)
I wish she would pick on somebody her own size, like that dastardly Lancecastor.

Welcome, Anastasia:

Sorry you feel that way. You are entitled to you opinion, but consider this:
1. Dream is only one of many newbies that post here. For every complaint of hers, there are 5 newbies who have voiced the fact that they feel welcomed.

2. Dream (and you) it seems are a minority. It happens. All I ask when someone posts to a thread I offer is that the person stick to the topic at hand. Extolling the virtues of a particular Dom/me at every turn, and calling virtual strangers "Hun" does not constitute post to topic.

3. Getting defensive and whining about being picked on when one is asked to clarify what is being said is not productive to learning. We are here to share information, not coddle the insecure. I raised my kids, I am not interested in raising anymore.

Please feel free to post on any thread I offer,. However, I trust that you can be articulate enough to be undestood. If not, rest assured you will be asked to clarify. If that is to much to ask of you, then do not post.

Again welcome.

Ebony

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Transatlantic......

i have to go with Des on this. It is what is done where i come from...darlin', honey, etc... i have a British friend that loves it when i say these things, he finds it endearing, and most of the time, i don't even think about it...it's just part of who i am, where i come from...i try not to do it though, to people i don't know or am not comfortable with (which would be why i've referred to less than a few people here with such familiarity and whatever)...

my two cents...

belle

However Des & Belle,

In my case, both of you ladies asked to call me Eb, or whatever you wanted to call me.

Also, I feel real sincerity and warmth from you two. I would not equate yourselves with others who seem less sincere. It is well known that a certain person is attempting sarcasm. When it falls flat and she is called out, she reverts to whining and complaints. If in fact she is sincere, it is hard to believe at this point in time.

As far as I know, neither one of you do those things. Or did I miss something? LOL

Eb

 

[A Desert Rose]

Just like Des

I will use terms of endearment when speaking to people I feel some affection or affinity for. If it offends anyone, I would also like to know. Just a gentle, "Hey call me *insert name here*, will ya?" will suffice for me and I will get the message loud and clear.

Rose

 

[~Dream~]

Re: just a disinterested observers opinion from a lurky lurker...

As one who is relatively new to this lifestyle, I've been educating myself by observing the interactions between the regular posters on this board and reading acounts of how each one integrates his/her kinky interests into everyday life. I don't post often because I have nothing to add and the search function has provided me with answers to any specific questons I had (and on some pretty obscure subjects, too).
HOWEVER...if the issue of whether this forum is a "welcoming place" to one and all is still being bantered about, I hope the above-referenced post by Cymbidia has removed any lingering doubts that this is a rather hostile environment to anyone who is not (or simply does not consider himself to be) as experienced, intelligent, educated, or articulate as she. Such verbal violence is the cyber equivalent of pummeling a person to the ground and someone who would actually take the time to formulate and write that venomous post is taking herself and this forum much too seriously. ( As a wise man once said, "...It's a fucking PORN site, people !!!...", or something like that)
I wish she would pick on somebody her own size, like that dastardly Lancecastor.

wow!!to wake up on a Sunday afternoon and read this post gives me faith in truth once again!! aww come on Lance is just a big cuddly teddy bear tho ,someone I can call friend.. Cym seems to think in her own mind that I am "playing" at being "submissive' and you know what ? that's ok cause she's entitled to her "dominant" type view points( JMHO),this IS America..
However,How I so CHOOSE to live or not live out MY CHOSEN lifestyle is only my & Artful's business,really.. I too,only come here to interact and because I choose to not "get off" on ass-kissing then it upsets many people..oh well ,thats just too darn bad now ,isnt it?
I WILL learn more and more and I will BEHAVE as My Master sees fit for me too, Many dont agree with the freedoms He has given to me to post my feelings and views,maybe in my eyes that just makes Him all the more "special" just cause someone SAYS it takes away from His "Domliness' Does NOT make it so.
Each of our D/S BDSM relationships are unique in their selves ,why cant we just agree that what Artful& I have WORKS for "US"? it's the TRUTH and some people just CANT HANDLE the TRUTH..sad really..

I will still LEARN whether or not people here that I DO respect teach me or not,I will learn by their actions and attitudes towards me,whether the criticism is "justified" or not ,it will still be just as if I had been criticized,I challenge each and everyone of them to find 1 NICE thing to say to someone today,see if THAT happens(yeah right),encouragement goes alot farther with me than criticism does.. what is the REAL purpose of "flaming ' me? to get me to give up? NOT gonna happen,sorry(actually I'm NOT sorry) sarcasm there , what I truly am sorry is just because I am NOT some carbon copy of someone else's views of "submissiveness" does NOT mean I am NOT submitting ..
Master and Master ONLY shall decide that where I am concerned..
I have openly& honestly brought our problems to this Forum,seeking earnest heartfelt answers from you (the experienced ones") ya know what I got? bitched at for NOT keepin it private!! maybe just maybe someone got helped by my post,think about it..from another's shoes besides YOUR OWN ,for once.. I challenge you too.. I care not that Cymbidia or anyone else at this Forum respects me,I'll still keep right on posting and right on living my life AND right on "submitting' to Artful..
However ,MY voive HAS been heard by ALOT of unbiased viwers and after all THAT was my MAIN goal in the 1st place,I am NOT here to "impress' you or give you a "guinea pig' to "pummel down as ANA so ACCURATELY put it..
I am here to smile.relax. and have fun,You cant touch my soul,you can only HURT my feelings,feelings heal... Artful& I ARE stronger than ever and I have all of YOU to thank for it.. so thanks from the bottom of my submissive heart I now know WHAT i DONT want to become in this lifestyle...lesson 1 was well learned indeed.!!...peace btw ty Cym for the most awesome pm and for the record,I DO still have SOME respect left for you (hope I keep it)

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: just a disinterested observers opinion from a lurky lurker...

Welcome, Anastasia:

Sorry you feel that way. You are entitled to you opinion, but consider this:
1. Dream is only one of many newbies that post here. For every complaint of hers, there are 5 newbies who have voiced the fact that they feel welcomed.

2. Dream (and you) it seems are a minority. It happens. All I ask when someone posts to a thread I offer is that the person stick to the topic at hand. Extolling the virtues of a particular Dom/me at every turn, and calling virtual strangers "Hun" does not constitute post to topic.

3. Getting defensive and whining about being picked on when one is asked to clarify what is being said is not productive to learning. We are here to share information, not coddle the insecure. I raised my kids, I am not interested in raising anymore.
----------------------
Eb,
I would please like to ask just WHERE you saw any "whining" or defensiveness" taking place in my last post to Willow Puss?
I clearly apologized and offered her the respect she deserves and for you to "insinuate' that my words are NOT indeed truth DOES concern me however my post stands as is.I need NOT to be "coddled' by you or any other Dom/mes here , I only ask for the SAME respect you wish to receive from me.
I do as a new sub have insecuriteis and that in itself is a very Normal thing I am sure,however I wqill look to my Master and NOT anyone else for ALL the security and comfort I need .. I may get off topic and not always post to your "standards" but I am in love and I post MY feelings,thats just me,if you dont care to have me post at your threads anymore,please just pm me and say so,I shall respect your wishes.
Calling a virtual stranger Hun" is what got me to meet my Master ,hmmmm
wonder if I'll be stopping that 'behaviour " any time soon?
however ,I will respect Willow,and others that I am not sure of in this Forum by not calling them ANYTHING but their s/n's from now on,fair enough?
I assure you that my intent at calling people endearing names is just as honorable as my 2 Sis's Des& Rose... at least THEY believe that of me for they DO know me..

have a great day Eb..sending well wishes from my Master also

 

[Anastasia]

Re: Re: just a disinterested observers opinion from a lurky lurker...

Welcome, Anastasia:

Sorry you feel that way. You are entitled to your opinion, but consider this:
1. Dream is only one of many newbies that post here. For every complaint of hers, there are 5 newbies who have voiced the fact that they feel welcomed.

That may be true for the people who actually post...how about the ones like me who test the water before diving in? Nobody knows for sure, but I would venture to say that the pseudo-intellectual cliquishness that exists here could be very off-putting.



2. Dream (and you) it seems are a minority. It happens. All I ask when someone posts to a thread I offer is that the person stick to the topic at hand. Extolling the virtues of a particular Dom/me
at every turn, and calling virtual strangers "Hun" does not constitute post to topic.

Obviously there is some history here to which I am not privy, but my point had nothing to do with Dream's post. My point (and I thought I made it clear enough) was that Cymbidia's response was unnecessarily cruel.



3. Getting defensive and whining about being picked on when one is asked to clarify what is being said is not productive to
learning. We are here to share information, not coddle the insecure. I raised my kids, I am not interested in raising anymore.

Again, I haven't read every post on this forum so I don't know what precipitated this particular thread, but there are kinder, gentler ways to make a point. Comparing Dream intellectually to a 10 year old ? Come on, is this how adults speak to each other?


Please feel free to post on any thread I offer,. However, I trust that you can be articulate enough to be undestood. If not, rest assured you will be asked to clarify. If that is to much to ask of you, then do not post.

I can't tell if this invitation is sincere or not but I shall assume that it is ...but it's not likely that I will for the above-mentioned reason (tested the water and found it not to my liking). I posted on this thread because cruel people piss me off and silence implies condonation.

And Ebony, I will continue to lurk because much of the coversation is interesting to me. When I encounter something that doesn't interest me or seems whiny or I can't understand it (or for whatever reason), I scroll down. Everybody can scroll...we don't need porn police.


Again welcome.

And thank you.

Ebony

 

[lovetoread]

I posted on this thread because cruel people piss me off and silence implies condonation.

Hello lurker!

I love that sentence.

Welcome to Lit.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: just a disinterested observers opinion from a lurky lurker...

Let me see.....like NOW perhaps?

Eb

Welcome, Anastasia:

Sorry you feel that way. You are entitled to you opinion, but consider this:
1. Dream is only one of many newbies that post here. For every complaint of hers, there are 5 newbies who have voiced the fact that they feel welcomed.

2. Dream (and you) it seems are a minority. It happens. All I ask when someone posts to a thread I offer is that the person stick to the topic at hand. Extolling the virtues of a particular Dom/me at every turn, and calling virtual strangers "Hun" does not constitute post to topic.

3. Getting defensive and whining about being picked on when one is asked to clarify what is being said is not productive to learning. We are here to share information, not coddle the insecure. I raised my kids, I am not interested in raising anymore.
----------------------
Eb,
I would please like to ask just WHERE you saw any "whining" or defensiveness" taking place in my last post to Willow Puss?
I clearly apologized and offered her the respect she deserves and for you to "insinuate' that my words are NOT indeed truth DOES concern me however my post stands as is.I need NOT to be "coddled' by you or any other Dom/mes here , I only ask for the SAME respect you wish to receive from me.
I do as a new sub have insecuriteis and that in itself is a very Normal thing I am sure,however I wqill look to my Master and NOT anyone else for ALL the security and comfort I need .. I may get off topic and not always post to your "standards" but I am in love and I post MY feelings,thats just me,if you dont care to have me post at your threads anymore,please just pm me and say so,I shall respect your wishes.
Calling a virtual stranger Hun" is what got me to meet my Master ,hmmmm
wonder if I'll be stopping that 'behaviour " any time soon?
however ,I will respect Willow,and others that I am not sure of in this Forum by not calling them ANYTHING but their s/n's from now on,fair enough?
I assure you that my intent at calling people endearing names is just as honorable as my 2 Sis's Des& Rose... at least THEY believe that of me for they DO know me..

have a great day Eb..sending well wishes from my Master also

 

[A Desert Rose]

Anastasia, I beg to differ

Silence does not always mean that you agree. In my case it means that I pick my battles. Many things are not worth the fight.

As has been stated here before, by you and others: "This is a porn site." How important is it to fight with others here? What is REALLY gained by doing so? Answers for me are: Not at all important and nothing.

If I am slammed by someone, and I have been. I choose to ignore it. It is simply not worth my time to argue with a stranger, or try to validate myself to one.

Rose

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Anastasia, I beg to differ

Silence does not always mean that you agree. In my case it means that I pick my battles. Many things are not worth the fight.

As has been stated here before, by you and others: "This is a porn site." How important is it to fight with others here? What is REALLY gained by doing so? Answers for me are: Not at all important and nothing.

If I am slammed by someone, and I have been. I choose to ignore it. It is simply not worth my time to argue with a stranger, or try to validate myself to one.

Rose

Hear, hear!

Eb

 

[Anastasia]

Re: Anastasia, I beg to differ

Silence does not always mean that you agree. In my case it means that I pick my battles. Many things are not worth the fight.

Rose

Yes, you're right. I should have prefaced that with "For me , silence implies...blah, blah, blah" And I do try to pick my battles. The pure nastiness of that post just blew the top of my head off and I had to vent.

Venting done, I shall now slink back to the lurkers' gallery.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Anastasia, I beg to differ

Yes, you're right. I should have prefaced that with "For me , silence implies...blah, blah, blah" And I do try to pick my battles. The pure nastiness of that post just blew the top of my head off and I had to vent.

Venting done, I shall now slink back to the lurkers' gallery.

Do not slink away and lurk. Post your thoughts to the threads that have good information and ask for opinions from one and all. There are several.

And as for nastiness, try to read all of the posts. Nastiness breeds nastiness.


Eb

 

[tassie]

same name...different views!

welcome lurker, this could get confusing...

 

[Ebonyfire]

same name...different views!

welcome lurker, this could get confusing...

Uh oh, Tassie, this is one of those times when "ye shall be known by thy avatar" is the best way to cope!
Eb

 

[zipman]

Re: just a disinterested observers opinion from a lurky lurker...

As one who is relatively new to this lifestyle, I've been educating myself by observing the interactions between the regular posters on this board and reading acounts of how each one integrates his/her kinky interests into everyday life. I don't post often because I have nothing to add and the search function has provided me with answers to any specific questons I had (and on some pretty obscure subjects, too).
HOWEVER...if the issue of whether this forum is a "welcoming place" to one and all is still being bantered about, I hope the above-referenced post by Cymbidia has removed any lingering doubts that this is a rather hostile environment to anyone who is not (or simply does not consider himself to be) as experienced, intelligent, educated, or articulate as she. Such verbal violence is the cyber equivalent of pummeling a person to the ground and someone who would actually take the time to formulate and write that venomous post is taking herself and this forum much too seriously. ( As a wise man once said, "...It's a fucking PORN site, people !!!...", or something like that)
I wish she would pick on somebody her own size, like that dastardly Lancecastor.

Anastasia,

Welcome to the BDSM board! I can easily understand how reading this thread could cause you to come to the conclusion that this is not a friendly welcoming place. Personally I think it is a very welcoming place. What you saw on this thread was an unfortunate exchange that has been a long time in the making. People here are very welcoming to newcomers, and I have seen this over and over again. This thread is an exception, not the norm. The reason that this thread has seemed nasty is because it has been building for a long time. If Cymbidia hadn't said what she did, someone else would have. Many comments have been given to Dream to help her and have been given to her many times before.

She chooses not to take more constructive criticism.
She chooses to play the victim and try and invoke sympathy.
She takes legitimate posts about her thoughts and turns them into attacks against her relationship with Artful.

These are all her choices. I wouldn't even go into all of it again if her actions didn't do something that I truly despise, which is to give newcomers the feeling that you have - that this is not a welcoming place. I came to Lit in July. I watched and learned how things went. I began posting soon thereafter. I have NEVER received a bad a or insulting post from ANYONE. Period!
I believe that most people here have had similar experiences to mine. I have disagreed with people about their views. I have asked questions about peoples' views. They have answered with no animosity. The responses that Dream has gotten is due to the posts she makes.

I hope you stay and post. I think you will like it. If you want to learn, I am sure you will.

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Anastasia, I beg to differ

Silence does not always mean that you agree. In my case it means that I pick my battles. Many things are not worth the fight.

As has been stated here before, by you and others: "This is a porn site." How important is it to fight with others here? What is REALLY gained by doing so? Answers for me are: Not at all important and nothing.

If I am slammed by someone, and I have been. I choose to ignore it. It is simply not worth my time to argue with a stranger, or try to validate myself to one.

Rose

______________________________________
You know Sis you make "perfect' sense and why have I been so blind?
I feel my Master has been trying to get that thought into my thick head for the past several days.. I DONT gotta validate myself to these people at all,I AM who i am,period ,no matter what they say
and Eb's right 'nastiness breeds nastiness ,by responding to Cym's nasty post,I only gave more fuel to the fire.. I am definately gonna work on my attitude and i dont care if her,or Eb, or anyone else believes it or not!! cause I dont NEED them too!! thanks alot Rose!! you are a TRUE friend!!

 

[Sandia]

Re: Re: Anastasia, I beg to differ

Yes, you're right. I should have prefaced that with "For me , silence implies...blah, blah, blah" And I do try to pick my battles. The pure nastiness of that post just blew the top of my head off and I had to vent.

Venting done, I shall now slink back to the lurkers' gallery.

Anastasia, you seem like a smart person to me, and I hope you'll continue to post. You're right, silence does imply acquiescence.

Don't worry about prefacing your opinions. If you do that, you'll start sounding like a weasel. Besides, it don't do no good no-ways.

 

[Sandia]

Re: Re: just a disinterested observers opinion from a lurky lurker...

Anastasia,

Welcome to the BDSM board! I can easily understand how reading this thread could cause you to come to the conclusion that this is not a friendly welcoming place. Personally I think it is a very welcoming place. What you saw on this thread was an unfortunate exchange that has been a long time in the making. People here are very welcoming to newcomers, and I have seen this over and over again. This thread is an exception, not the norm. The reason that this thread has seemed nasty is because it has been building for a long time. If Cymbidia hadn't said what she did, someone else would have. Many comments have been given to Dream to help her and have been given to her many times before.

She chooses not to take more constructive criticism.
She chooses to play the victim and try and invoke sympathy.
She takes legitimate posts about her thoughts and turns them into attacks against her relationship with Artful.

These are all her choices. I wouldn't even go into all of it again if her actions didn't do something that I truly despise, which is to give newcomers the feeling that you have - that this is not a welcoming place. I came to Lit in July. I watched and learned how things went. I began posting soon thereafter. I have NEVER received a bad a or insulting post from ANYONE. Period!
I believe that most people here have had similar experiences to mine. I have disagreed with people about their views. I have asked questions about peoples' views. They have answered with no animosity. The responses that Dream has gotten is due to the posts she makes.

I hope you stay and post. I think you will like it. If you want to learn, I am sure you will.

"Personally I think it is a very welcoming place."

This attitude drives me bonkers, Zip. What I get out of it is: "Who care how OTHERS are treated, as long as folks are nice to me."

I'm not going to argue over Dream's posts. It's not my place.

But I WILL argue that there is a reason why cym made that post to Dream and not to Lance. It's 'cause Lance has made it clear he will fight back.

I don't claim the "community" has to be welcoming or inclusive. But I do get tired of the claims that they are when they so obviously are not.