Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[Guest]

That is a biggie hon, and beautiful and sad too, so much in there that is familiar to many I am sure.
Glad you are still here.

Thank you!

Much love, saldne

 

[MercyMia]

I spoke to my mother on the phone yesterday and she reported that the crystals I gave her still appear to be working. She takes them to bed with her and puts them under her pillow. If she feels stressed during the night she will hold them in her hand and they have a calming effect. She has even reduced her medication, and her checkup at the doctor's last week revealed her blood pressure is good (it has been high quite a lot of the time due to the stress of my dad's illness).

Hey bandit, that's good news. But what kind of crystals are they and where can you get them?

 

[Bandit58]

Hey bandit, that's good news. But what kind of crystals are they and where can you get them?

Hi Mia They are white quartz crystals or polished stones, you can get them from holistic shops that sell things like incense, candles, gemstone jewellery and self help books. They aren't very expensive (I think mine cost about $1.50 each and were about the size of a bottle cap).

Different types of crystals or stones are said to help in different areas of life. I scoffed at first when I heard about it but having seen it work and experienced it myself I now keep an open mind

 

[Amonara]

Those crystals sound interesting.

I could really use anything to help me with my stress. Totally consumed by anxiety and unfortunately for good reason. Trying to block my fears is not going to help, but for now it's helping to hold off an anxiety attack. I really don't need this now, with finals coming up. *takes deep breath*

Just being able to say that somewhere helps. Thanks for creating this thread.

 

[Quoll]

Hi everyone & Quoll why hadn't I followed your links sooner
I've never had any medial help but likely need it as I often have a shit load of trouble just coping day to day with what is happening to me, my poor health is a major concern & I did break down while in hospital only to have the very young shrink they sent to see me in tears *strangely it lifted my spirits seeing her crying listening to me* I think it made me realise I do have a lot of problems.

I also started a thread to help a lady of LIT who was having suicidal thoughts because of her abuse & I needed help to try to convince her to live & fight her demons which pleases me to say she did but many other abused also posted that they do suffer depression ect.

My own daughter is on treatment for depression.

Hi Gil, sorry it`s taken so long to reply, it has been a rather bad two weeks which I have been trying to ride out. Without the help of my Poss and some incredibly beautiful and patient friends from lit, I`m not sure if I could have got through this one as well as I have.

I understand how it can lift your spirits when you realise that someone actually believes you, and this is not just in your head.

I feel my eldest son is heading down the same path, I see so much of myself in him, this fills me with great sadness, as the road ahead will not be easy for him.

You are right, many of those that were abused do suffer badly from depression. Your abuse thread is one of the best threads on lit, one only has to look at it`s stats to see the good it has done.
I hope the lovely lady in question is doing well.

 

[Quoll]

My wife has suffered from chronic clinical depression for over 12 years. In the initial stages we had no idea as to what was going on. Whilst there does seem to be a predisposition in her family the trigger was an overdose of hormone via HRT therapy. i can understand why there are so many relationship bustups when this illness strikes.

Anyway with medication my wife does have a reasonably stable life. But we now the monster is always in the background ready to strike. She is one of the 1 percent who requires continuous treatment to keep the chemical imbalance in check.

The one side effect has been the loss of libido due to the medication. we have not made love for over four years. but i would sooner put up with that than to have her deteriorate. Anyhow i always have Mrs Palmer and her five daughters to help along with all u sexual people with your stories

Hi bi,
Great to have someone else on the recieving end of all this pop in, it is one thing for us to have our say, but it is incredibaly important for our partners to get whatever information and support they can get, as often the times we can do that are somewhat limited.
Any input or advice you can add would be great.

 

[Quoll]

Those crystals sound interesting.

I could really use anything to help me with my stress. Totally consumed by anxiety and unfortunately for good reason. Trying to block my fears is not going to help, but for now it's helping to hold off an anxiety attack. I really don't need this now, with finals coming up. *takes deep breath*

Just being able to say that somewhere helps. Thanks for creating this thread.

Amonara,, feel free to say whatever helps, if you look back over this thread you will see that many, well ok, some, oh.. alright, me, have used it to off load what`s getting us down.

Just don`t forget to come back when things are good too, happiness, even others, can help lift someones mood considerably.

 

[Amonara]

Amonara,, feel free to say whatever helps, if you look back over this thread you will see that many, well ok, some, oh.. alright, me, have used it to off load what`s getting us down.

Just don`t forget to come back when things are good too, happiness, even others, can help lift someones mood considearbly.

Thank you, Quoll. I could quite possible be in here very often. Already, I'm completely re-stressed out about the issue. It also doesn't help that I'm a slight hypochondriac, and the anxiety is making me feel feverish.

If/When things are better, I will most defintely come back. Brightening someone's mood goes both ways I think.

 

[Quoll]

Not exactly cheery, call it an eduational piece for those who don`t understand.


"

Elizabeth Wurtzel

"And it seemed hard to believe that these people who were so close to me couldn't see how desperate I was, or if they could they didn't care enough to do anything about it, or if they cared enough to do anything about it they didn't believe there was anything they could do, not knowing- or not wanting to know- that their belief might have been the thing that made the difference."

"No one who had never been depressed like me could imagine that the pain could get so bad that death became a star to hitch up to, a fantasy of peace someday which seemed better than any life with all this noise in my head."

"My whole body would vibrate, my head would start to hurt, and my mind would wander to the world outside my room where I was sure that all my friends were having a good time and feeling completely relieved not to have me around to deal with."

"Some friends don't understand this. They don't understand how desperate I am to have someone say, I love you and I support you just the way you are because you're wonderful just the way you are. They don't understand that I can't remember anyone ever saying that to me. I am so demanding and difficult for my friends because I want to crumble and fall apart before them so that they will love me even though I am no fun, lying in bed, crying all the time, not moving. Depression is all about If you loved me you would."

"In my case, I was not frightened in the least bit at the thought that I might live because I was certain, quite certain, that I was already dead. The actual dying part, the withering away of my physical body, was a mere formality. My spirit, my emotional being whatever you want to call all that inner turmoil that has nothing to do with physical existence, were long gone, dead and gone, and only a mass of the most fucking god-awful excruciating pain like a pair of boiling hot tongs clamped tight around my spine and pressing on al my nerves was left in it's wake."

"I start to feel like I can’t maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don’t know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?... I don’t know the answer, I know only that I can’t. I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted."

 

[Quoll]

one more.

"it's the people you are close to, the ones who love you, the ones who have seen your heart, who have touched your soul- to them, it is obvious that something is wrong or missing. your heart and soul are missing. they feel it. it hurts them. it kills them."


Elizabeth Wurtzel






Six days up and counting

 

[Ibsen]

I´ve been in a pretty deep valley this week. I didnt feel like doing anything as I felt so bad. Now I am trying to get up, and I have contacted social department to get aid to an own apartment. I just CANT STAND being with my relatives. It´sd tragic, I know, but thats the way it is. I went to the capital last weekend for a day, just so I could be alone from my familly. Just that says something´s wrong, right?

 

[Quoll]

I´ve been in a pretty deep valley this week. I didnt feel like doing anything as I felt so bad. Now I am trying to get up, and I have contacted social department to get aid to an own apartment. I just CANT STAND being with my relatives. It´sd tragic, I know, but thats the way it is. I went to the capital last weekend for a day, just so I could be alone from my familly. Just that says something´s wrong, right?

It`s not unusual to want to be alone, and sometimes for a while it can help.
I would be very careful not to isolate yourself from your friends though, this is very important. Sometimes when we are alone the reality of our situation can get somewhat skewed and it is a big help to have friends nearby to keep us on track.
Hang in there.

 

[Shotokan07]

I think I've been there this week as well... Thinking about how I don't really have any close friends. A thought of testing who thinks of me and cares, I was gonna shut off my cell phone and isolate myself from everything, including work and school. This way I would about 2 weeks and see if anyone would even look for me. I still wouldn't laugh thinking back about it... A suicidal episode like this can take a very heavy weight on someone's mind...

 

[Ibsen]

It`s not unusual to want to be alone, and sometimes for a while it can help.
I would be very careful not to isolate yourself from your friends though, this is very important. Sometimes when we are alone the reality of our situation can get somewhat skewed and it is a big help to have friends nearby to keep us on track.
Hang in there.

It isnt about isolation, its morelike be able to taker care of myself, and not hear all thwe arguments at home that come up now and then.

Of course I´d continue to talk to my familly, no question about that, I just want to get some breath from them... And about my friends... I actuaklly think I will get better connections with them when I have an own apartment, as I can come and go and do almost what Iwant, and dont respect any one else that lives with me...

And the fact that I wont have to be ashamed of them (familly) pmost likely will make me more able to invite someone home.

Love your new avatar btw. NZ mounted Rifles?

 

[Tap-Out]

A very wise and wonderful lady told me to come here whenever I'm feeling really down like I am this morning.

I'm up so early yet again. Waking up from dreams that aren't so pleasent. I swear it feels like nothing in my life makes sence right now. I look back at this past year, and while there were certainly some good times, it seems all I can see is the dissapointments and hard times. I look back and it seems that every time I got up, every time without fail, I crashed three times as hard. It feels like every single thing and person in my life are telling me I'm not good enough for them. It really hurts sometimes. The future isn't looking so bright either. I'm comming up to yet another time in my life where I need to make a decision about my future. I thought I had made one, but now things are starting to happen and creep in that have me second guessing myself all over again. But then I look at my alternatives... some way to get out of this, and there are none. There never are. So then I try to look to my friends for advice. People I thought truly cared about me. I go to talk to any one of them, and without fail none are to be found. Either all gone, too busy, or who knows what else. I feel so damn alone right now I want to just break down. Withdraw from everything and everybody. Who cares right, I mean it's not like anybody out there is looking for me anyway so who's going to miss me. I think about that... how nobody out there cares, and it makes me feel even worse. Yet another one of life's let downs. Oh well that's just on par for the course I guess.

 

[Quoll]

A very wise and wonderful lady told me to come here whenever I'm feeling really down like I am this morning.

I'm up so early yet again. Waking up from dreams that aren't so pleasent. I swear it feels like nothing in my life makes sence right now. I look back at this past year, and while there were certainly some good times, it seems all I can see is the dissapointments and hard times. I look back and it seems that every time I got up, every time without fail, I crashed three times as hard. It feels like every single thing and person in my life are telling me I'm not good enough for them. It really hurts sometimes. The future isn't looking so bright either. I'm comming up to yet another time in my life where I need to make a decision about my future. I thought I had made one, but now things are starting to happen and creep in that have me second guessing myself all over again. But then I look at my alternatives... some way to get out of this, and there are none. There never are. So then I try to look to my friends for advice. People I thought truly cared about me. I go to talk to any one of them, and without fail none are to be found. Either all gone, too busy, or who knows what else. I feel so damn alone right now I want to just break down. Withdraw from everything and everybody. Who cares right, I mean it's not like anybody out there is looking for me anyway so who's going to miss me. I think about that... how nobody out there cares, and it makes me feel even worse. Yet another one of life's let downs. Oh well that's just on par for the course I guess.

G`day mate,
First thing, get out of of my fuckin head.
I `d like to say there are alternatives and a way out of this, and from past experience there are, but words like that don`t really mean shit when this thing has us by the balls.
Beng up, sometimes that truly sucks, it`s like a big practical joke, you know it wont last but there is always that hope in the back of your mind that his time it will stay. Of course the longer it lasts, the worse it is when the rug is pulled out from underneath.

Friends, that`s a hard one, I don`t know you but I know you already have one friend who will listen, who cares what happens, otherwise you wouldn`t have come here at all.
Sometimes we scare the shit out of our friends, and truthfully there are times we don`t want to be cheered up, what`s the point anyway, we`ll be back down soon enough. The best friends I have are the ones who just talk and listen, no sage advice, just sitting there talking about anything/nothing just a simple willingness to be a part of your life no matter what you are going through.
If you cant find any that do it for you, blurt it out here, put out a call for help, there are so many more who read this thread and don`t post, I am fairly certain there is always someone watching, but sometimes you have to ASK.

Ok I usually try to say something positive when I post, but truthfully at the moment I am fighting to stay on level ground my self, I have had a very good week, and a week has become a long time for me, so I don`t want to know how down I could get.
Oh a positive, right, ok here`s one, you are one up on me right now, your future might not look too bright, but hey you can see a future, you have decisions you can make, believe it or not I envy you that.
Anyway drop back in to blurt or flame or whatever you need to do, and give that wonderful lady a big hug too.

 

[Quoll]

It isnt about isolation, its morelike be able to taker care of myself, and not hear all thwe arguments at home that come up now and then.

Of course I´d continue to talk to my familly, no question about that, I just want to get some breath from them... And about my friends... I actuaklly think I will get better connections with them when I have an own apartment, as I can come and go and do almost what Iwant, and dont respect any one else that lives with me...

And the fact that I wont have to be ashamed of them (familly) pmost likely will make me more able to invite someone home.

Love your new avatar btw. NZ mounted Rifles?

Isben, you seem to have a pretty good handle on what`s stressing you out, I hope it all works out the way you want, let us know how it goes.

The AV, very close actually.

 

[Quoll]

[rant][blurt]
People, friends??, acquaintance, more likely, any way someone who I thought would know better.
Did I ask you for advice, do you even know what is going on in my head?
Thank you for your words of wisdom, of course you only saw my reluctance to answer, you didn`t see the turmoil and fear your "suggestion" set off in my brain. I am sure it will be put down to my rudeness, my laziness, my "who gives a fuck attitude" I wish just for a second you could understand the paralysing fear that that simple suggestion fills me with, but all you saw was me avoiding answering, avoiding eye contact, my "rudeness".
Yes maybe it would be for the best, but I do not shit on my family.
[/blurt][/rant]

 

[rakastuja]

Was going to write long spiel about why start this thread.
A lot of people have started their own self help threads and I think they are essential, but it couldn`t hurt to have a place to discuss general issues.

Havent read whole thread but I thought about telling what have helped me a bit:

Writing own blog/diary.

I would suggest it since
- it's free
- it doesnt stress much (you can write what ever you want, when you want etc)
- you can do it anonymously
- in long run you can read it and see patterns, changes in condition
- it's a good way to meet other people with same problems
- you get feedback and support

It never hurts to know that there are people like you out there. Always.

 

[bi-oral]

thanks quoll for your thoughts.

All i can say as a partner of a person who has depression anxiety etc is to learn as much as u can about the illness. I originally went through all the wrongs things like syaing to her "Snap out of it "" etc. But when i went one on one with her medical specialist that was the turning point with me in understanding what is happening.

Nowadays whenever she has a black period, I just let her work her way through. Shaz too is educated in the illness and also knows that the black episodes do end.

my biggest fear is as we get older and the normal aging process creates some minor ailments etc, her illness will raise it ugly head on a larger scale. That is the reason i haven't roamed during this long 12 years. I am too scared of what may happen to her if I did and she found out. The town i live in is only 80,000 so anomity is not possible

 

[Ibsen]

Isben, you seem to have a pretty good handle on what`s stressing you out, I hope it all works out the way you want, let us know how it goes.

The AV, very close actually.

Hi!
Feel much better today. Might have to do with the fact that I had trumpet lesson today. Not only does I enjoy playing it, but the teacher is so damned hot! I´ve been thinking on her alone more then one time, can tell you that... ^_^

About AV: Oh, almost... Thanks once again, Corto Maltese.

I´d like to think that I have pretty good knowledge on what is making me feel bad. Not just that btw, I am pretty good handling my phobies too.

Lets hope this mood hangs on a couple of weeks... And that the social service (SS? ) calls me as soon as possible.

 

[Amonara]

I'm not sure how I managed to do it, but I've managed to emerge out of this dark period pretty well. I think it's because I've moved to a point of denial. Still at this point I'll take it. I think it's because the problem I've been stressing over and letting it get me down has finally come to a head. And I guess knowing that all I can do about it is watch and wait, has put me in this kind of limbo. At least its peaceful, I don't have to deal with panic attacks sneaking up on me. After this waiting period is over, and my problem is confirmed, I don't know what kind of place I'll be in. All I can do is prepare myself. It doesn't help that I don't have anyone to confide all this in either, all my friends and family are too close to the problem. I don't want to drag them into my worries.

It's been good to vent this, since I have on one else. Thank you.

 

[wildtiger60]

Hey I was referred to this thread by a friend from the GB boards. I started a thread in there about Panic and Anxiety, which i do suffer from. I am glad that he showed me this thread, because i can read through it and get some tips.

 

[Quoll]

Take Two

A very wise and wonderful lady told me to come here whenever I'm feeling really down like I am this morning.

I'm up so early yet again. Waking up from dreams that aren't so pleasent. I swear it feels like nothing in my life makes sence right now. I look back at this past year, and while there were certainly some good times, it seems all I can see is the dissapointments and hard times. I look back and it seems that every time I got up, every time without fail, I crashed three times as hard. It feels like every single thing and person in my life are telling me I'm not good enough for them. It really hurts sometimes. The future isn't looking so bright either. I'm comming up to yet another time in my life where I need to make a decision about my future. I thought I had made one, but now things are starting to happen and creep in that have me second guessing myself all over again. But then I look at my alternatives... some way to get out of this, and there are none. There never are. So then I try to look to my friends for advice. People I thought truly cared about me. I go to talk to any one of them, and without fail none are to be found. Either all gone, too busy, or who knows what else. I feel so damn alone right now I want to just break down. Withdraw from everything and everybody. Who cares right, I mean it's not like anybody out there is looking for me anyway so who's going to miss me. I think about that... how nobody out there cares, and it makes me feel even worse. Yet another one of life's let downs. Oh well that's just on par for the course I guess.

Tap,
Ok, in a somewhat better frame of mind today, I think I can share some more (hopefully) constructive thoughts.

Having nothing in your life make sense, yeah that actually makes a lot of sense to me.
I think often we are our own worst enemy, you try to talk yourself up, and then there is this little voice that picks holes in everything you think.

Feeling alone, with you on that one too, some would probably think me strange for saying that, seeing as I have a wife I love totally and two beautiful kids. But when this shit hits you it`s often hard to dump even more stuff onto her, and I don`t have any close friends nearby that I can talk to about this stuff. (Hold The IMs please) However I do have two incredibly supportive friends here on lit who have talked me through so much stuff when I have been both physically and mentally alone. There are also dozens of people here who make their presence felt in so many good ways, this truly is a very supportive community.

I have to say we all seem to fight off this urge to just break down and cry, and yet on the occasions that it can`t be stopped it is so cathartic, I have to wonder why we fight it so much.

Not sure if this is any better than my original reply to your post, but I guess I`m trying to say don`t let life piss you off too much, don`t let any bastards take the piss out of you, stay of the piss, don`t get to pissed at me and have a pisser of a time when you can.

 

[Quoll]

I'm not sure how I managed to do it, but I've managed to emerge out of this dark period pretty well. I think it's because I've moved to a point of denial. Still at this point I'll take it. I think it's because the problem I've been stressing over and letting it get me down has finally come to a head. And I guess knowing that all I can do about it is watch and wait, has put me in this kind of limbo. At least its peaceful, I don't have to deal with panic attacks sneaking up on me. After this waiting period is over, and my problem is confirmed, I don't know what kind of place I'll be in. All I can do is prepare myself. It doesn't help that I don't have anyone to confide all this in either, all my friends and family are too close to the problem. I don't want to drag them into my worries. It's been good to vent this, since I have on one else. Thank you.

Hey I was referred to this thread by a friend from the GB boards. I started a thread in there about Panic and Anxiety, which i do suffer from. I am glad that he showed me this thread, because i can read through it and get some tips.

She is a sweety and very feisty at times (Hi Skye ).

I hope you can find some tips here, I read your thread on the gb, and a lot of the advice there is pretty much what`s around everywhere.
It would be nice if there was something that could take this away on a full time basis, but I guess we have to deal with it whenever it decides to come up*sigh*.
One thing I have learnt recently from an anxiety counsellor, was that most anxiety has it`s roots in bad breathing, ie short breaths. She said if we can change that then a lot of the symptons will disappear.
All sounds very easy I know, anyway I guess all we can do is learn as much as possible and try and find something that works for each of us.

Something that has been said a few times in this and other threads, posting helps, whether it gets a response from other people or even if it is just to get it out of our heads it all seems to help, so please post away.