Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[MercyMia]

Hi everyone,

quoll, that sounds like a great self-hypnosis technique. It allows you to slow down that spiraling effect of negative thinking. I'll try to remember it next time I feel myself spinning out of control.

Since I last posted about being off anti-anxiety meds, I haven't had to take them again. I've needed sleeping pills a couple of times though because one of my closest and dearest old friends is going through a terrible time in life, just tragic and scary, and I tried all sorts of things to try to sleep but thoughts kept returning to her.

I still have these negative thoughts about my husband and his emotional affair. He doesn't send text messages as much as he used to. Before, he would keep going to the bathroom while we were eating dinner, even in a nice restaurant, so he could text her. He'd sneak out of bed early in the morning to check his phone and respond to her texts. I used to tense up everytime he'd leave the room. I'm not fooling myself into thinking that they've stopped completely, as they can always communicate at work through phone calls and email...but the intensity of things seems to have died down...

So when I have the negative thoughts, I try to balance them by thinking of the positive things he's started doing again--he's more affectionate these days instead of being cold and withdrawn, and he seems more able to focus on things outside himself and actually sympathize with other people's situations.

I have a question for depressed people here on this thread...do you think you are more prone to physical ailments because of the depression? I don't mean to imply that the pains and sicknesses are imagined, but do you think depression makes you more prone to them?

Thanks for the thread, quoll.

 

[Quoll]

Mia,
Pleased to hear that you are doing ok without the meds, sorry to hear about your friend. Sometimes it sucks that life just keeps throwing stuff at us whether we are ready or not.

That at least seems to be a positive step that your husband is even noticing that there is an outside world.

Hmm when I read your question about ailments my first thought was no.
After thinking about it for a bit however, I did have some thoughts relating to myself.
I can`t really think of anything to relate specifically to the depression however the associated anxiety certainly has physical aspects such as, back neck and shoulder pain, also tingling and pins and needles at different times as well as constant headaches.
I also have constant nausea and tense stomach muscles but I don`t know if you would classify any of that as being more prone to physical illness.
Ok not much help really, but hopefully if we get a few more opinions something might make sense.
Quoll

 

[Quoll]

Grr I knew it would double post.

 

[kikmosa]

Mia,
Pleased to hear that you are doing ok without the meds, sorry to hear about your friend. Sometimes it sucks that life just keeps throwing stuff at us whether we are ready or not.

That at least seems to be a positive step that your husband is even noticing that there is an outside world.

Hmm when I read your question about ailments my first thought was no.
Afterv thinking about it for a bit however, I did have some thoughts relating to myself.
I can`t really think of anything to relate specifically to the depression however the associated anxiety certainly has physical aspects such as, back neck and shoulder pain, also tingling and pins and needles at different times as well as constant headaches.
I also have constant nausea and tense stomach muscles but I don`t know if you would classify any of that as being more prone to physical illness.
Ok not much help really, but hopefully if we get a few more opinions something might make sense.
Quoll

Depression can and will mess up your immune system. You could be more prone to things like colds, sinus trouble, migraines, stomach viruses, muscle spasms, cramps and a lot of other things. For women it can even throw off your cycles.

 

[Ibsen]

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to get it out. Btw, the social service caled me yesterday and told me I didnt had enough reasons to get financial aid. And I just feel generally fucked up... Feel fat, and I know I aint, but I was, atlöeast thats what my teachers, classmates and brothers told me plenty of times in grade school classes 1-6.

I dont know... Just feel... Empty. Idle.

Well, just one week let of 2nd year in gymnasium, and after that last year, I will hopefully get a job. Its times like this I ust want to dissappear, or join the army, or jump in front of a train or something...

 

[Quoll]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to get it out. Btw, the social service caled me yesterday and told me I didnt had enough reasons to get financial aid. And I just feel generally fucked up... Feel fat, and I know I aint, but I was, atlöeast thats what my teachers, classmates and brothers told me plenty of times in grade school classes 1-6.

I dont know... Just feel... Empty. Idle.

Well, just one week let of 2nd year in gymnasium, and after that last year, I will hopefully get a job. Its times like this I ust want to dissappear, or join the army, or jump in front of a train or something...

It all feels very hopeless at times doesn`t it, makes it hard to find the good things to focus on.
You do seem to be doing a lot of positive stuff though, you have controlled your weight, you are taking care of your fitness, you have been to see social services to try and solve some of your problems (yeah I realise it didn't work out) but you were determined enough to to go through the whole process.
Ok cliche' time sorry.
At your age things can be very confusing, ok even at my age things can be very confusing, life can seem pretty hopeless and yet you have goals that you want to work towards. Perhaps you can try something similar for now, what about some sort of club or scouts or those sorts of things.
Just throwing some ideas around, sometimes we get so focused on what we want we can`t see any other options but I am sure if you look at it from another persperctive you just might come up with some other options.
If not come back and scream away.

 

[Lynxie]

I amaze myself sometimes. This week has been horrendous; between dealing with insane amounts of bullshit from the realtor responsible from selling the house I'm trying to buy, to finding out my wedding album was mailed over a month ago and must have gotten lost en route... it's just not been a good week.

Yet, in spite of it all, I applied for a job today. A job! Me! I have my BA in English and my masters of business administration, and yet haven't held a job (other than a miserable 6-month stint as a part-time bank teller) since spring of '03. I've applied for a few in the last year or so, but haven't managed to get any interviews. Hopefully this spurt of desperation will prove fruitful and I'll at least land an interview. Keep your toes crossed for me...

 

[Ibsen]

It all feels very hopeless at times doesn`t it, makes it hard to find the good things to focus on.
You do seem to be doing a lot of positive stuff though, you have contolled your weight, you are taking care of your fitness, you have been to see social services to try and solve some of your problems (yeah I realise it didn`t work out) but you were determined enough to to go through the whole process.
Ok cliche' time sorry.
At your age things can be very confusing, ok even at my age things can be very confusing, life can seem pretty hopeless and yet you have goals that you want to work towards. Perhaps you can try something similar for now, what about some sort of club or scouts or those sorts of things.
Just throwing some ideas around, sometimes we get so focused on what we want we can`t see any other options but I am sure if you look at it from another persperctive you just might come up with some other options.
If not come back and scream away.

Yea, I force myself to see the positive, even in darkest time, and try to do something op my situation, as I will not be in the apaty-swamp. People around me talk, I try to act. And not talk so much, even if it is important to do that also of course. I went to see the counselor (spell) yestersay, but she was not available, and when she finally were, I hadnt time...

You are not the only one saying this is usual to my age, and maybe it is, but I will not sit and think of suicide, freaking out and get a kill-frenzy or anything else becouse of my age. For every problem, there is a solution, it is just up for me to find it. I am a bit intrested in orientation, and have talked with a friend of mine who used to orientate, I think the next seasong (spell) will start this autumn though. Thats one of my problems, everything starts or are available to me, later! I dont wanmt to do things later, I want to do things now! Sure, the frigging school is in the way like a big pile of shit, but still. Well, another year, then I´m free. Unless I read on university, wich I probably have to. Fuckiong shit. I dont want to study, I want to work! I want to earn money, to get a life, to be frigging grown up!

And I´ve still havent got over the fact that I wont be doing military service. I am insulted, as people half my wieght and streinght and not even a 10th of my motivation, got in group "A" at the draft-office, while I got a "E", and therefore couldnt get a fucking position anywhere. The only thing available in that class was tank mechanich, and I couldnt even get that, as I was in the wrong gymnasium program. I can however join the "Home guard", wich is kinda like the national guard. The only thig requierd is that you was turned down at the draft office, finally something I fit for... Think I gona try that, atleast so I get the basic military things straight, if I decide to join the US army or whatever is available to me. And it looks pretty good at your resumé if you have military background/education, thats was one of the reasons why I want to do military service so much. The other is the fact that I have wanted it since I was... 6...

I realy dreading for the day I finish 2nd year, as it will be alot of shit with familly. And with familly, it always becomes fights. So this year I´m gonna do everything in my power not to be with my familly. Evwen if it means roam around the town alone, wich it will most likely be... I diont know who I am anymore, I just know that something have to change, otherwise I am not sure I will keep my mental health.

Oh yea, I have some problems deciding wether or not I shall ask I girl I know if she wants to be my gf. I know I should, but I see all these problems. As she isnt from europe (iraqi kurd), she can any time be expelled from Sweden, as our immigration politic is to kick all foreigners out after 5 years when they have settled, and then it is the familly thingy. I dont want to be prejudistic or anything, but... I dont know... I probably have this issues becouse of my last gf. She could be a bitch. She was close to hit me a few times, but we broke up before it got serious. I guess I have all these bad experiences with me... Feel like a mental case. Well, problably should go and do the last homework for a course I have that finishes next week. Thanks for listening.

 

[cymbline]

.....

 

[MercyMia]

Mia,
Hmm when I read your question about ailments my first thought was no.
Afterv thinking about it for a bit however, I did have some thoughts relating to myself.
I can`t really think of anything to relate specifically to the depression however the associated anxiety certainly has physical aspects such as, back neck and shoulder pain, also tingling and pins and needles at different times as well as constant headaches.
I also have constant nausea and tense stomach muscles but I don`t know if you would classify any of that as being more prone to physical illness.
Ok not much help really, but hopefully if we get a few more opinions something might make sense.
Quoll

Your answer is spot on, sort of confirms my suspicions. My depressed husband always has something going on--stomach pains, lower back pains, neck and shoulder pains, headaches, knee problems...there's always something hurting. I honestly believe he is experiencing physical pain and these are not imagined or pretended in order to gain sympathy. However, I also think that his state of depression makes the symptoms more frequent and more intense because he dwells on them. A few months ago, I realized that about half of our conversation is about his pains and we'd go into all sorts of theories about the causes. One of my hypotheses is that he has a lot of pains going on at the same time but he notices only the most intense one. Then if that one gets better, the second most intense one comes to his attention.

I truly feel sorry that he suffers so much physical pain...but he's still refusing any form of external therapy or counseling or medication for his depression because he says he'll fix it himself. I can't help him anymore. I just give him things like ginger tea or back rubs or ointment--treating the symptoms since he won't let anyone near the cause.

Anyway, I wish everyone some form of happiness today. When something goes well, even if it's just the traffic light turning green at the perfect moment, then hold that happiness to your heart and let it last for a while.

 

[MercyMia]

Depression can and will mess up your immune system. You could be more prone to things like colds, sinus trouble, migraines, stomach viruses, muscle spasms, cramps and a lot of other things. For women it can even throw off your cycles.

Thanks, kikmosa.

 

[MercyMia]

I amaze myself sometimes. This week has been horrendous; between dealing with insane amounts of bullshit from the realtor responsible from selling the house I'm trying to buy, to finding out my wedding album was mailed over a month ago and must have gotten lost en route... it's just not been a good week.

Yet, in spite of it all, I applied for a job today. A job! Me! I have my BA in English and my masters of business administration, and yet haven't held a job (other than a miserable 6-month stint as a part-time bank teller) since spring of '03. I've applied for a few in the last year or so, but haven't managed to get any interviews. Hopefully this spurt of desperation will prove fruitful and I'll at least land an interview. Keep your toes crossed for me...

Hey Lynxie, how did the job app go? Can I uncross my toes now? I keep falling down!

Wishing you find a fantastic job soon,
Mia

 

[Quoll]

Cym,
I have learnt from my wife that there are a huge number of things that can trigger flashbacks, a phrase or words, a particular type of car and smell as you said. Smell is one of the biggest memory triggers around, for my wife one of the main ones is peppermint lifesavers "his" lolly of choice. She has never denied them to our kids though, one way of taking back what is hers.
So glad to hear the Look, Feel, Hear & worked so well for you, wishing I had your determination, well I just might now.
Crying, I was actually going to do some research into that as it is something we all seem to come across at some point.
Hang in there sweetie you are doing a great job.

Lynxie,
There must be something about being under stress that allows us to do those sort of things, between losing my job, changing my meds and starting with a counsellor I decided to give up smoking. Ok it didn`t last, but at the time I was quite calm and determined, lol, even the counsellor said it was probably not the best time to try but I lasted a week or so, the longest I have done in years.

Ibsen,
Your determination is great, you keep getting knocked on your arse and you just jump back up and keep going, with that attitude you will be bound to get what you are after eventually.
Hang in there mate.

Mia,
I think the stress alone causes so much pain, I find it very hard to relax my body at times, when I went to bed my shoulders used to feel like they were up around my ears and ached constantly, but there have been a few relaxation tips posted here that have helped on different occasions , different ones at different times.
The back rubs you give him would be a great help I imagine, I used to dread physical contact at times but when I did allow it, it helped immensely.
Do you think there might be some help in more traditional medicines, would he be more open to that? I suspect this would have already occured to you though.

Kiki,
I `ve said it before and you just keep on proving it.

 

[Ibsen]

Ibsen,
Your determination is great, you keep getting knocked on your arse and you just jump back up and keep going, with that attitude you will be bound to get what you are after eventually.
Hang in there mate.

Well, I sometimes feel it is not determination, but pure defiance to God, my parents, destiny or whatever. I have got the phone number to the South Batallion of Dalregementet/Dalregiment (Home Guard), and gonna phone the contact person tomorrow, as it is red day today (its the national day, not much to celibrate though). And then I gonna try to be put on the basic training course autumn -06. One way or another, I WILL get that military shit in my papers. And the really neat stuff is that I will have a automatic karbine in my home!

Didnt call that girl today though, too embarresing or something, what do I know. Too much cowardice from my side. I guess I think I believe they think I phone spam them, as I called her esterday, but she wasnt home. But I will continue trying. School finished on friday, gonna try to find her then, if I can, among all the other students...

 

[Ibsen]

Phoned the girl anyway, she wasnt home, but I was able tog get her cellphone number from her sister. So, gonna try to call her again when I have time.

 

[Lynxie]

Hey Lynxie, how did the job app go? Can I uncross my toes now? I keep falling down!

Wishing you find a fantastic job soon,
Mia

Still haven't heard from 'em yet Mercy, but I'm not overly worried since they probably would have just gotten the resume yesterday. Unfortunately, there was no phone number or company name in the ad, so I won't be able to contact them if I don't hear in a few days. Since I don't want you falling over, I'll let you uncross your toes... just send happy thoughts instead

 

[Ibsen]

Phoned her cellphone today, and she was home. I have set up a goal that within this friday I gonna find her and tell her my feelings. Why this friday, well, its the day semester ends. We will finish 2nd year in the gymnasium.

 

[Ibsen]

As expected, I didnt found her. But I was too down anyway. I really, really, really want, need, to move out.

 

[Lynxie]

No news on the job thing, but...

1) We've FINALLY reached an agreement about the house we're buying and can now proceed to the Purchase & Sale phase.

2) My wedding album had gotten lost in the mail over a month ago, but the photographer called to say he got the package back today and that we can pick it up this weekend! Phew!

3) I finally went to the doctor. It's been well over a year since I've gone to my general practitioner (even though I see my orthopedic monthly about my shoulder). He gave me a script for Wellbutrin. He also took blood and urine, and they're going to test me for all kinds of things ranging from diabetes to thyroid trouble to kidney and liver diseases. It gives me some peace of mind that I'm finally doing something about my health again. Hopefully the Wellbutrin will work better than the Paxil and Prozac did...

 

[Ibsen]

Aboput depressions, I´ve heard that singing helps. I used to sing in a church choir, and it didnt made me feel so better, but that is me, and I am a bit of a one-man-player, and I can sing alone and feel better, right now I am sitting and singing (humming... ) along in a old march song called Westenwald (West Forest) while studying for a test I should have done for over a year ago... Gonna do it on monday, even though school is finished. As the teachers are still there after a week, it makes it posible for me to do this, and hence, finish the bloody course and get it in my grade paper.

Old German marches are really greate to get your spirit up, did you know that? ^_^

 

[Lynxie]

Aboput depressions, I´ve heard that singing helps. I used to sing in a church choir, and it didnt made me feel so better, but that is me, and I am a bit of a one-man-player, and I can sing alone and feel better, right now I am sitting and singing (humming... ) along in a old march song called Westenwald (West Forest) while studying for a test I should have done for over a year ago... Gonna do it on monday, even though school is finished. As the teachers are still there after a week, it makes it posible for me to do this, and hence, finish the bloody course and get it in my grade paper.

Old German marches are really greate to get your spirit up, did you know that? ^_^

I haven't tried any old German marches... but I do agree that singing helps immensely. When I'm home alone I crank up my speakers and sing along, and I'm sure my neighbors hate me for it.

 

[Quoll]

No news on the job thing, but...

1) We've FINALLY reached an agreement about the house we're buying and can now proceed to the Purchase & Sale phase.

2) My wedding album had gotten lost in the mail over a month ago, but the photographer called to say he got the package back today and that we can pick it up this weekend! Phew!

3) I finally went to the doctor. It's been well over a year since I've gone to my general practitioner (even though I see my orthopedic monthly about my shoulder). He gave me a script for Wellbutrin. He also took blood and urine, and they're going to test me for all kinds of things ranging from diabetes to thyroid trouble to kidney and liver diseases. It gives me some peace of mind that I'm finally doing something about my health again. Hopefully the Wellbutrin will work better than the Paxil and Prozac did...

Lynxie
Hope all goes well on the house front as I know it is extremely stressfull (and exciting) until it is all sorted out.

We had a mix up with our wedding photos over twenty years ago, we ordered the album, sorted out the layout, waited three months and when we went in to pick it up he said "Oh did you want me to do that, I thought you were just looking.' they are still in a brown paper bag.

Do you think the acupuncture has had an effect on your ability to go back and see your doc, I remember you saying that the acupuncturist mentioned it should help with the anxiety?
Hope you have more success with the Wellbutrin.

 

[SweetDevil1977]

Speaking of depression...

Does anyone take Wellbutrin SR??

I just have a couple of questions I need to help with.

PM me please if you can give me some advice.

 

[Lynxie]

Lynxie
Hope all goes well on the house front as I know it is extremely stressfull (and exciting) until it is all sorted out.

So true, quoll. I'm actually feeling much more relieved now that we're out of the negotiating stage. Most of the work is on our lawyers' shoulders now, and they're a lot more reliable about responding to our questions and concerns than the sellers' realtor was.

We had a mix up with our wedding photos over twenty years ago, we ordered the album, sorted out the layout, waited three months and when we went in to pick it up he said "Oh did you want me to do that, I thought you were just looking.' they are still in a brown paper bag.

Ugh, I would have strangled him. Luckily our photographer didn't flake on us, but his quality of service did drop off dramatically after our wedding. If I had to do it over again, we'd probably use someone else.

Do you think the acupuncture has had an effect on your ability to go back and see your doc, I remember you saying that the acupuncturist mentioned it should help with the anxiety?
Hope you have more success with the Wellbutrin.

It could have, but overall I haven't noticed much change in my anxiety level since I started acupuncture. My shoulder pain is improving, though, and I no longer get headaches and back aches (at least not in the last 3 weeks). As for the Wellbutrin, it seems that my body can handle it. Something like 1/3 of people who try taking it get really sick from it (dizzy, vomiting, etc) within the first few days, and have to stop treatment... but I'm doing alright so far. Next week I'll bump it up to two pills a day. Unfortunately, it's a slow-acting medication. It takes one month for the benefits to be seen, and two months to reach its peak.

 

[Guest]

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