Descriptions Exercise

[Svenskaflicka]

Mary-Sue stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel to dry her 100 pounds, curvy body dry. She wrapped the towel around her long, blond, curly hair to let it dry, and put on a sheer black lace thong, and a matching bra for her 30DDD breasts.
Even though she was already 39, she kept herself in good shape and exercised daily, and this made her look as if she was no more than 16...

 

[Guest]

Svenska, that's cheating. You can't describe yourself, too easy.

Perd

 

[raphy]

Well I have to say, I'm surprised at the range of descriptions we have here. Some very thoughtful, and very imaginative ones out there. It's interesting to compare the way we each think about the same subject.

I think it's easy as writers of erotica to describe the 6'2" muscular stud sporting the 9" stiffy, (or the 36-26-36 sensual nymphomaniac with the body to die for,); I think it's a challenge to take an everyday sort of fella and describe him in terms of sensualness or sexuality. As far as that goes, Perdita you've covered that the best of any I've seen here, hands down. (And since it's my thread, I get to judge!)

For creativity, Hunting_Tiger you get my vote. Reading yours was like reading a mini-story in 6 lines! (My non-fiction professor would LOVE you! So concise, yet creative.)

Frankly, I get tired of reading the stories with "perfect" characters who actually have no character at all. Give me a man with a few scars, a limp, a lisp, messy hair or bad handwriting -at least I know he's more real, more believable than some of the drivel I've read. Same goes for the women with "tits to there" and a "tight little body at 5'8" and 120 pounds." (Can anyone say eating disorder?!) Sure we write in the realm of fantasy, but doesn't every story have to have a touch of reality to lend it credibility? In my opinion, that touch of reality is what makes it more believable, and ultimately more satisfying to me as a reader. After all, I'm only human too.

Anyway, thanks to all who replied. Keep 'em coming if you like, or take another stab at it from a different point of view.

Ooh, I didn't know we were supposed to describe him in terms of sensualness and sexuality.. Of course, this is lit, and I have to remember that, haha.

It was a great exercise, McKenna - Always fun to stretch your creative muscles.. Here's another try from the perspective of sexuality then:

His hands. They were the first that caught her eye. They looked large and strong and that always had an effect on her. She liked men like that. Men who were bigger than her. Men who could overpower her. And his build. She was nothing if not pragmatic, and whilst a Mr. Universe body might be nice in a magazine, it sure wasn't very comfortable to snuggle up against. No, she preferred the comfort of a softly padded stomach to lay her head on after licking his cock clean.

She wondered for a moment what he'd look like without the glasses. That was one of her biggest fetishes, removing a man's glasses just prior to fucking his brains out. The intelligence they exude, stripped from them in an instant, leaving them open to her wanton desires. She thought about removing his glasses and watching the beast that was in all men emerge, through those strong hands, and she gave up trying to concentrate on work.

The restroom was calling. She needed an orgasm, and she needed one now.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Svenska, that's cheating. You can't describe yourself, too easy.

Perd

ROFL!

Try 44B, chubby, 27 yo, and with hair that looks like the spiky end of a broomstick!

I AM blonde, though...

 

[Pure]

Lechemerde's appeareance on day three was beginning to disprove his confident assertion, just after his eviction, that it would be 'no problem at all' to sleep at night, beneath his desk in the computer lab.

Any thoughts about the rumpling of his suit, slackness of his tie, and the hair beginning to look like a wheat field after a hail storm, hadn't yet disturbed the look of inner confidence that comes from a cock the size of his forearm, whose perpetual readiness belied the claims of the office women of a certain age that their nightly errands could be righfully be described as 'missions of mercy.'
-----

**with acknowledgement to Jerry Seinfeld.

 

[Hooper_X]

XXY, 47

He is a pale nebbishy man of unrelenting woe. Delbert was diagnosed with klinefelter's syndrome, a genetic abnormality caused by the presence of an extra x chromosome in the 23rd pair, as he entered puberty. Actually, it's more correct to say that he was diagnosed as a result of his failure to enter male pubescence, and because of the wholly unwelcome swelling of his girlish boy-breasts.

During his high school years, he received as many taunts and beatings for his tiny genitalia as for his overly large and puffy areolas. His utter lack of coordination combined with an embarrassing absence of upper-body strength made him a favorite target of abuse for the jocks. Even the AV squad slapped him around. Of course, the abuse that he suffered at the hands of bullies paled in comparison to the abuse heaped on him by the fairer sex. Debert's female classmates treated him like a eunuch, and those were the nice ones. Typically, girls acknowledged neither his presence nor his humanity. Something in his endocrinologically off kilter make-up, a lack of testosterone perhaps, caused females to despise him and want to do him physical harm. This typically exhibited itself in a desire to slap and/or spit on him. Delbert welcomed their cruelty. It was the only contact that he had with girls.

Delbert eventually found a woman who would have him. He got married right out of college. Over the years, his inability to impregnate or even sexually satisfy his wife, made even that saint of a woman hate him. She soon began an affair with Puerto Rican garbage man, who, as she bluntly told her husband, made her feel like a real woman. Around the time that she became pregnant with her lover's third child, she divorced Delbert and took everything. Delbert moved back in with his parents, and his exwife, her lover, and their children continued to live in the former couple's suburban tudor home. As a stipulation of their divorce settlement, Delbert was ordered to continue to pay the mortgage and child support.

Here we see a picture of Delbert at his exwife's wedding. She thought it would be cute if he gave her away, and he reluctantly agreed. Luckily, his dad had an old double breasted suit from the 1980s, with shoulder pads big enough to obscure his pair-shaped body. Delbert couldn't have afforded to buy a suit of his own. The pants were ill-fitting being baggy and loose, especially in the crotch. In a typical Debert move, he shamefully holds his hands over his crotch to hide his mannequin-like lack of a masculine bulge.

 

[Hooper_X]

Mary-Sue stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel to dry her 100 pounds, curvy body dry. She wrapped the towel around her long, blond, curly hair to let it dry, and put on a sheer black lace thong, and a matching bra for her 30DDD breasts.
Even though she was already 39, she kept herself in good shape and exercised daily, and this made her look as if she was no more than 16...

If you were to change her name to Maria, increase her weight to about 140, make her hair dark, morph that 30DDD into a 36DDD, transplant Jay-Lo's lower body onto her torso, and lob 15 years off her age, she'd be my dream girl. It's uncanny that you'd unknowingly come so close to my ideal.

 

[Guest]

 

[mtnman2003]

My turn.........

As I found him standing there, I could not hide the chuckle that enveloped my alien body. I had sent Ogwart, our leader, to find a skin suit and clothes to match the inhabitants of this planet.

He returned looking like this planets' worst female nightmare. Short, rumpled, and ready to begin his quest, my leader wanted to meet and mate with one of the local inhabitants.

*************************

McK, thanks!!!! lol

Mtn

 

[Wills]

Another go, North UK accent required.

That’s never Peter?

Ey lass. It were when he went f’r management job ‘t Mill. I told im, Peter yer lork a fuuckin plonker, b’t ‘e wern’t havin nun of it.

He don’t wear glasses, does Peter.

Ney, them’s ‘is Dad’s. Thort they would impress the big bloke fr’m Lundon.

Pity it wern’t a lass, h’d ‘ave impressed ‘er, them fukin ‘ands of his. Still good with ‘is ‘ands is ‘e pet.

Ey, them ‘ands get me through week. T’other night, after interview, he cums ‘ome wearin’ suit. I’m at oven takin’ out tea, I ‘eres door go, next thing ‘is ‘ands ‘re inside knickers, them fukin big fingers werkin up inside me, never says a word, just goes at me likes hes greasing up som’at ‘t mill, felt his breath on’t bum, ‘im blowin on arse. I spreads it like, so e can reach, his t’other ‘and grabs me bum, pullin it t’ward face, ‘is tongue starts, yer remember ‘is tongue, when we was behind bike sheds at skool.

Eye, always ‘ad a devils tongue did Peter.

Well fuck the tea I thought, I just bent there, ‘ands on knees and let ‘im go, it were fuckin grande, dirty bastard, fingered ‘an fuucked me right there in’t kitchen, all ov’r fuuckin floor, then up me arse, me bent o’vr table. Eyee, it were fuuckin luvly. Then he slaps me bum an’ says ‘Where is me tea Lass.’ Cheeky buggar, standin there with his dick hangin out o’trousers. I think I’ll frame picture.

 

[Guest]

Wills, that was brilliant! My face is aching from laughing so much. I spoke the whole thing out loud, in the correct accent, I'm sure Gauche will do the same thing.

Lou, LOLing.

 

[Icingsugar]

A bit more lovin' this time...

There was William, Mona felt her heat skip a beat, and she started running towards him. He stood there, and looked terribly out of place. He always did at occations like this.

But really, who cared?

Ok, so he might not be all biceps and sixpack midriffs anymore. He had been once, and Mona still thought of him that way. The photo-op didn't do him justice either, anyone looked like an unshaved infant from that perspective and in that gloomy corridor light, everone managed to look pale and gloomy.

The clothes weren't exactly wrong for the occation, but William could always make a suit and tie look horrible. He was still smashing in a tennis shirt, at his full range on the golf course, and cruisin' in his racing gear. This playboy-type of man had only one flaw, except that he wasn't 27 anymore, something which takes it's toll on everyone sooner or later. William Sheridan and formal clothes went together like icecream and sardines. They were simply not compatible.

But really, who gave a fuck?

If it was up to Mona, the man might just as well be Quasimodo. She didn't love him for his looks. No, he had something that went beyond the eye, something that made him more precious than any adonis type of boy in the world.

He just had to open his mouth.

When William sang, time lost count on itself. When he took a note, and carried it so much further than anyone thought was possible, the wind itself would slow down and listen.

So who gave a shit about a lousy suit?

 

[Wills]

Thanks Lou,

I thought I needed to do something after my pathetic efforts last night.

Maybe I'll put your comments up on my Public Comments page

Gauche, hopefully will correct the puctuation.

Will's (Off t' check oven)

 

[McKenna]

.

 

[Guest]

 

[gauchecritic]

I'm not going to comment on other people's accent attempts, very good by the way.


Dear Santa,

For this Christmas I would reelly like a three wheeler bike but if that's too much then a dolls howse would be qite good instead. My brother Jeff is too little for a bike so could he have a starwars game with han solo and the princes. Helly leaves big school this year and mum says she is too old for toys now so could you please bring her a big pair of lace up boots. My frend jill whos mum is not well and dosnot have much money would like a pet like a dog or a rabbit but will settle for a hampster.

Lots and lots of lov

Susie Welsh age 7.

ps mum would be really pleased if you could bring dad back for her as she misses him loads, i have sent a picture so you now what he looks like.

 

[Wills]

Hey Gauchy

Now that is sentimental, very touching, seriously.

Will's

 

[Icingsugar]

Touché, gauche.

Now, excuse me while I go giggle myself to sleep.

 

[Dirty Slut]

Re: XXY, 47

Originally posted by Hooper_X
He is a pale nebbishy man of unrelenting woe. Delbert was diagnosed with klinefelter's syndrome, a genetic abnormality caused by the presence of an extra x chromosome in the 23rd pair, as he entered puberty. Actually, it's more correct to say that he was diagnosed as a result of his failure to enter male pubescence, and because of the wholly unwelcome swelling of his girlish boy-breasts.

During his high school years, he received as many taunts and beatings for his tiny genitalia as for his overly large and puffy areolas. His utter lack of coordination combined with an embarrassing absence of upper-body strength made him a favorite target of abuse for the jocks. Even the AV squad slapped him around. Of course, the abuse that he suffered at the hands of bullies paled in comparison to the abuse heaped on him by the fairer sex. Debert's female classmates treated him like a eunuch, and those were the nice ones. Typically, girls acknowledged neither his presence nor his humanity. Something in his endocrinologically off kilter make-up, a lack of testosterone perhaps, caused females to despise him and want to do him physical harm. This typically exhibited itself in a desire to slap and/or spit on him. Delbert welcomed their cruelty. It was the only contact that he had with girls.

Delbert eventually found a woman who would have him. He got married right out of college. Over the years, his inability to impregnate or even sexually satisfy his wife, made even that saint of a woman hate him. She soon began an affair with Puerto Rican garbage man, who, as she bluntly told her husband, made her feel like a real woman. Around the time that she became pregnant with her lover's third child, she divorced Delbert and took everything. Delbert moved back in with his parents, and his exwife, her lover, and their children continued to live in the former couple's suburban tudor home. As a stipulation of their divorce settlement, Delbert was ordered to continue to pay the mortgage and child support.

Here we see a picture of Delbert at his exwife's wedding. She thought it would be cute if he gave her away, and he reluctantly agreed. Luckily, his dad had an old double breasted suit from the 1980s, with shoulder pads big enough to obscure his pair-shaped body. Delbert couldn't have afforded to buy a suit of his own. The pants were ill-fitting being baggy and loose, especially in the crotch. In a typical Debert move, he shamefully holds his hands over his crotch to hide his mannequin-like lack of a masculine bulge.

Just one question. Do you people really use this much space to discribe each character in your short stories?

DS

 

[Guest]

building character

 

[Svenskaflicka]

If you were to change her name to Maria, increase her weight to about 140, make her hair dark, morph that 30DDD into a 36DDD, transplant Jay-Lo's lower body onto her torso, and lob 15 years off her age, she'd be my dream girl. It's uncanny that you'd unknowingly come so close to my ideal.

No, what's uncanny is the fact that I describe a woman as looking like she's 16, and you want her to be 15 years younger..!

 

[Hooper_X]

No, what's uncanny is the fact that I describe a woman as looking like she's 16, and you want her to be 15 years younger..!

I meant 15 years younger than her chronological age of 39. If she had the body that I described, she would hardly look 16. Oh yeah, and slap some pubic hair on her if she's bald down there. That creeps me out.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

That's more like it!

 

[Guest]

 

[Hooper_X]

hmmm we have a "Royal Oak" in these parts.

rhino-thumbin' through the thumb

We have both a Royal Oak and a thumb in these parts.