Desultory and Impulsive

[y=mx+b]

Hold her down.

In theory, online banter, and sometimes even in text messages that works out all perfectly.

In actual repeatable practice on a moments notice when the masculine male urge strikes? Not so much.

 

[y=mx+b]

okay.

I mean... if it did
More woman would be raped and all would be left feeling ecstatic that they were.

 

[y=mx+b]

I've been thinking about my dick recently. Well... as of after around 1pm yesterday afternoon.

I think it should be shorter. Same girth. But shorter.

And I say this as an average size 5.5" to 6" man (is that still average these days? Don't know. Don't really care)

I'm thinking... maybe 1" to 2 inches shorter.

This thought has come from years of personal research which I've consistently and consecutively found on 98% of all occasions, that my wife experiences the greatest sexual pleasure when I short stroke her.

As in seesawing the first few inches of my dick inside her. Repeated acts of penetration as opposed to full penetration and deep thrusting.

Once I'm balls deep. I don't know... I guess she likes that as well. But most often it's when I pull my hips back and further away so that I'm able to pull all the way out and violently push the first 3 inches into her that I'm most able to blow her mind. And well, while doing so I got to thinking... "this would be a shit-ton easier to do and maintain pace if I didn't have so much shaft. AND I could fully lay on her like normal."

 

[y=mx+b]

Am I even 5.5"?

Fuck. I may be only 5"

Goddamnit now I'm going to have to measure.

 

[y=mx+b]

An even 6

 

[AmazingLost]

An even 6

That's what they all say.

 

[y=mx+b]

That's what they all say.

No serious!

I was going to take a pic!
I even had my phone out ready to snap one of my dick against the measuring tape!

But then I was like... "Really? What is this... highschool?"

Plus I got to thinking that if I did I'd have to reinstall the imgur app., upload the pic, think of something either witty or sexy to say that didn't come off as desperately seeking some kind of validation.

Only to have the reception of it be a field full of crickets.

And so I was then like... "meh fuck'em. I'll just report my findings and see where that goes."

 

[y=mx+b]

What is blue and smells like red paint?

 

[y=mx+b]

Blue paint.

 

[Moochienanu]

Why can’t a bicycle stand by itself?

 

[Moochienanu]

It’s two tired.

 

[y=mx+b]

It’s two tired.

Ha! Love it!

 

[y=mx+b]

I made a guy measure against a 7 inch blade.

Did he make the cut?

 

[y=mx+b]

He made a lot of things.

Every woman needs to find that kinda guy at least once in her life.

 

[y=mx+b]

On a personal note...

Dear Ingrown Hair.

We've been at this for how long?

Seriously.
Get with the program.

y=mx+b

 

[y=mx+b]

While I'm at it and before I make my way to falling asleep...

The new song Black Eyes Blue by Corey Taylor is the auditory equivalent of a goddamn ingrown hair.

In my opinion.

I would be really greatful if they would stop playing it on my rock station. I get it. I get it. Slipknot and all that bullshit. But honest to fuck it may as well be the opening song for a shitty reboot of Friends

 

[y=mx+b]

I absolutely
Hate it
When I
Happen upon something
That makes me
Think of her
Like we once were.

 

[y=mx+b]

Time to slow things down and regroup around a video I find beautiful.

Never have I wanted to see two people get to fucking so much in my life

This is for the men and women out there really into anticipation and edging.

 

[OGMG]

The new song Black Eyes Blue by Corey Taylor is the auditory equivalent of a goddamn ingrown hair.

In my opinion.

I would be really greatful if they would stop playing it on my rock station. I get it. I get it. Slipknot and all that bullshit. But honest to fuck it may as well be the opening song for a shitty reboot of Friends

I have not heard this song. My antenna broke and I cannot tune into radio stations.

I did give Can’t Be Stopped a listen and was embarrassed for him. A public midlife crisis is a bad look.

 

[y=mx+b]

I have not heard this song. My antenna broke and I cannot tune into radio stations.

I did give Can’t Be Stopped a listen and was embarrassed for him. A public midlife crisis is a bad look.

I've not bothered giving anything else a listen. I think you hit the nail on the head with the midlife crisis.

This isn't to shit on any artist or creative individual branching out. Such is how increased self discovery and further innovations are made.

Thankfully Avatar's most recent release is heavy as fuck enough to pass the time

 

[OGMG]

I've not bothered giving anything else a listen. I think you hit the nail on the head with the midlife crisis.

This isn't to shit on any artist or creative individual branching out. Such is how increased self discovery and further innovations are made.

Thankfully Avatar's most recent release is heavy as fuck enough to pass the time

I am playing this.

If any artist wants to go a different direction, cool. I may not listen is all.

Every artist should get to be creative, but be upfront.

Corey Mother Fucking Taylor (CMFT) brings back a sappy 90s vibe which was still trying to hold on to the 80s glam. There’s a reason shit got dark.

I hear some odd Geoff Tate influences.

 

[y=mx+b]

I really wish my coworker would stop sending me pics and gifs of what he thinks is sexually perverse or shocking or whatever the fuck.

It's a waste of my goddamn time but I gotta be all like "OMG!" or "Ha!"

Which I never am. Or do I reply as such. Mostly I just click his message and go "yep" to myself.

But the mere opening up his message is a pat on the back for him.




Oh look... a woman pushing multiple billiard balls out of her ass and vagina. Scandalous... what a whore

 

[rubydlite]

I really wish my coworker would stop sending me pics and gifs of what he thinks is sexually perverse or shocking or whatever the fuck.

It's a waste of my goddamn time but I gotta be all like "OMG!" or "Ha!"

Which I never am. Or do I reply as such. Mostly I just click his message and go "yep" to myself.

But the mere opening up his message is a pat on the back for him.




Oh look... a woman pushing multiple billiard balls out of her ass and vagina. Scandalous... what a whore

Or you could call him on his bullshit
It's one of my new favourite kinks.

 

[y=mx+b]

Or you could call him on his bullshit
It's one of my new favourite kinks.

It's one of those situations that wouldn't really work. You know how some guys are just that way? Yeah. He's one of those guys.

Like god-fuck-forbid a woman wants such things and pursues such things on her own accord with or without external prompting.

And I should be shocked by this? Why?

 

[y=mx+b]

Do women ever just want a hard dick inside them with no thrusting?