Disappointments

[sr71plt]

Blackbird, I plead guilty to your quibble. Should be "thirty-year-old wife and ten-year-old son". Beyond that, in my own defense I proffer that my writing is not overly dense, but that's strictly a question of taste. I've said more than once that words are to a writer as cartridges are to a soldier in a firefight--don't waste any. Yes, I like crisp, hopefully witty, narration and dialog--if I fail at that, at least I didn't fake it.

As for Ms. Post not being "much of a celebrity", very well, she isn't, outside a very tiny corner of the world of sport, but I needed some cloak of public figurehood to avoid a lawsuit. I've been a defendant more than once, as I've said before, and when the jury comes in with a verdict in your favor, two minutes after the exhilaration ends you know you lost anyway. Who needs more grief? And as for her never hearing of me or my story, I know all too well that nothing on the internet is private, or secret.

So if it's "caviare to the general", and got one-bombed on that account, I'll bellyache on SF or AH (it's cheaper than therapy), and then go back to writing again.

Thanks for your comments. I won't change what I do on that account, but I respect your opinion, even if I disagree.

I was responding in terms of the target audience. The readers of the Lit. "Celebrity" category don't, on the whole, appear to be either literary sophisticates or interested in much of any celebrity other than pop or sex stars. That doesn't mean that a good story not bowing to these tastes shouldn't be either written or posted to that category. Like Loving Wives, however, it pretty much means a writer who doesn't feed them what they want shouldn't be either surprised at or critical of a less-than-favorable outcome.

Beyond that, it was too dense and "pleased with itself" for my tastes anyway. But that's just not my taste. I wouldn't have volunteered unsolicited unfavorable comment. (I think that's rather rude on a writing-for-pleasure Web site.) You more or less challenged for it on this thread.

 

[estragon]

I was responding in terms of the target audience. The readers of the Lit. "Celebrity" category don't, on the whole, appear to be either literary sophisticates or interested in much of any celebrity other than pop or sex stars. That doesn't mean that a good story not bowing to these tastes shouldn't be either written or posted to that category. Like Loving Wives, however, it pretty much means a writer who doesn't feed them what they want shouldn't be either surprised at or critical of a less-than-favorable outcome.

Beyond that, it was too dense and "pleased with itself" for my tastes anyway. But that's just not my taste. I wouldn't have volunteered unsolicited unfavorable comment. (I think that's rather rude on a writing-for-pleasure Web site.) You more or less challenged for it on this thread.

So I did, and I took your criticism in good part, because, whether or not I agree with the substance, your criticism is reasoned and intelligent. But I can only write the story as I saw and felt it; if it came over as "pleased with itself", well, maybe I am pleased with myself, justified or not. One can always have worse feelings.

 

[SydneyBlake]

Thanks for that link, Pilot. I don't tend to catch these inconsistencies here, but when it comes time to seriously edit something, I appreciate having a good reference manual at hand.

Syd

 

[SydneyBlake]

Mistress, I agree with you to a degree. My natural tendency is to fly by the seat of my pants. I write the good parts and then link them together in the end. (I read somewhere that Jennifer crusie does this, so I'm in good company!).

But the drawback is that I often find myself rewriting scenes to make them fit. And sometimes, a scene doesn't fit and get discarded altogether. All that work gone to waste!

Sun Tsu said it best. "The general who wins a battle makes many calculations in his temple ere the battle is fought."

 

[SydneyBlake]

So true!

I've started with nothing more than a few words from a song. However, I've said for a long time that I'm not like most writers.

I have a story sitting on my laptop that was inspired by a post on Post Secret.com. It said "My sister doesn't know I'm sleeping with her 23yo daughter.". The story's morphed quite a bit since then, but that was the beginning of a thought.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Regarding your first post, I to am having trouble with my story endings. How to end a story? I think better feedback replacing "The ending sucked" is needed. How so? "It was rushed" Where should it have gone. I'm rambling.

have some bloke burst in with a shooter ... lead-in to chap. 2.

voila!

 

[sr71plt]

Mistress, I agree with you to a degree. My natural tendency is to fly by the seat of my pants. I write the good parts and then link them together in the end. (I read somewhere that Jennifer crusie does this, so I'm in good company!).

But the drawback is that I often find myself rewriting scenes to make them fit. And sometimes, a scene doesn't fit and get discarded altogether. All that work gone to waste!

Sun Tsu said it best. "The general who wins a battle makes many calculations in his temple ere the battle is fought."

I think I'm flying by the seat of my pants a lot when I sit down to write a story--often inspired by just a snipet of something or an image. My mind always surprises me, though; it has been working it out and not permitted me to start work until a story structure is there, whether I'm conscious of that or not.

I think this is mostly what the "sitting in front of my computer and not knowing what to type" is about. That's person's mind isn't ready to spin out the story yet. It's most likely what is at the base of writer's block. You can't write because you have nothing to write yet.

 

[SydneyBlake]

Define writers block, because I can always write bullshit. LOL

Then there are those times when you can't write it fast enough. I get great ideas when commuting to work, but they don't always reemerge when I'm sitting in front of the computer.

Ok great grasshopper, now I'm rambling.

 

[sr71plt]

Define writers block, because I can always write bullshit. LOL

Then there are those times when you can't write it fast enough. I get great ideas when commuting to work, but they don't always reemerge when I'm sitting in front of the computer.

Ok great grasshopper, now I'm rambling.

writers block would be when you couldn't advance what you're writing at all.

 

[SydneyBlake]

Sometimes bs floats. Sometimes it doesn't.

I would expect that that's when a writer needs to start asking some tough questions. When that happens to me, it's usually because I'm trying to make a character do something that he/she would never do. Time to revisit the outline, make sure you're headed where you're supposed to go, and ask why there's a stumbling block. Sometimes characters need better motivation. Kate mcTiernan (Patterson's Kiss the Girls) would never have jumped off that cliff without a serial killer chasing her.

 

[SydneyBlake]

Or, to quote Sun Tsu again, "As circumstances are favorable, one should modify one's plans."

 

[estragon]

Or, to quote Sun Tsu again, "As circumstances are favorable, one should modify one's plans."

Syd, you didn't have to do that with Ch 8. And strange this should be a "Disappointments" thread, because Ch 8 is anything but disappointing.

 

[SydneyBlake]

Syd, you didn't have to do that with Ch 8. And strange this should be a "Disappointments" thread, because Ch 8 is anything but disappointing.

Thank you darlin. I hope others agree.

 

[estragon]

Back to the Subject of this Thread

"Disappointments". K'AnneMeinel wrote a good story "Quickie ~ Against a Car". I gave it an extensive quibble because I thought the writer showed merit. I got an e-mail from the writer and responded with encouragement. But the later stories in the "against" series- "Couch" and "Wall"- were formula, and the writing was excessively bad from a mechanical viewpoint.That ruined whatever plot or characterization there was (and to my way of thinking, not a lot of either). I had neither the strength nor the heart to quibble them. Promising start, but then the roof fell in. The writer asked for feedback, so I hope this is not viewed as "piling on after the whistle".

 

[estragon]

And her story (or is it his story?) Ghostly Love has an intriguing, original plot line, and some interesting characterization. But the mechanicals are dreadful. S/he requested feedback; maybe this is too much, because I said the same thing on my Embarras de Richesse thread, but the story is too good to be written this carelessly.

 

[estragon]

"The Not So Gentle Way Sho Dan" by grgy56 continues a novel plot bunny, sex in a dojo. I remember my own judoko days, many years ago; sex was absolutely the last thing on my mind when learning. But here it works, bar the terrible mechanicals. It's hard to appreciate a good story when it is so badly written from a mechanical viewpoint. It's been so long since I tried (unsuccessfully) to learn judo, and my skills even then were so poor, that I can't comment on the technical aspects (the descriptions of judo tactics) other than to say that they seem correct. I didn't quibble the story, as it really needs a thorough copy editing.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I rarely start just to write a vignette anymore--and I'm allergic to these interminable unending, unresolving chapter meanderings that we see so much of here at Lit. If I suspect that's what's happening with a series, I don't even start reading it--or responding to requests for help on it. (What are the bets Elfin will slip in to slam me on that? And my answer to that is that I'm primarily a writer here--I have no duties to read or comment on anything I don't want to read/comment on for whatever reasons I have. )

Just caught up with this and I don't know why you are so nervous about stating your opinion.

Long meandering chapters are the bane of Lit and scouries should start a campaign against them. Even in TV soaps there are plotlines that have a start and conclusion and writers here often miss the constrictions of writing a multi-chaptered novel or the discipline of soap writers/producers.

I'm not a fan of reading them either.

sr, irrespective of whether your persona is writer, bien-pensant,editor or trick cyclist, my only complaint is you feel entitled to comment on a story whilst gladly proclaiming you haven't read it. I find that impolite, that's all.

I read some stories and feel like doing a 'Jenny Jackson' on them but conclude that 'no comment' is the best option.

 

[sr71plt]

sr, irrespective of whether your persona is writer, bien-pensant,editor or trick cyclist, my only complaint is you feel entitled to comment on a story whilst gladly proclaiming you haven't read it. I find that impolite, that's all.

I read some stories and feel like doing a 'Jenny Jackson' on them but conclude that 'no comment' is the best option.

That's because, you dits, you could never absorb what I was saying. I was commenting on your and Jenny's ignorant, often hilariously weird and "everyone does it my way," general views being expressed. It wasn't an issue of the specific example.

If you make a stupid sweeping statement like first person is the hardest voice to write and new writers shouldn't do it--or if you are knocking someone for the voice they used and a quick check showed you messed up voice with tense, I don't really have to read the whole story to be able to say that you have your head up where the sun don't shine and are misleading the poor writer you are inflicting yourself on.

And, with that, I suppose I can't post on this thread anymore because Elfin is going to continue trolling me here and others are going to comment they aren't interested in us fighting.

So, the thread's all hers. Enjoy her "tell" not "show" performance.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

That's because, you dits, you could never absorb what I was saying. I was commenting on your and Jenny's ignorant, often hilariously weird and "everyone does it my way," general views being expressed. It wasn't an issue of the specific example.

If you make a stupid sweeping statement like first person is the hardest voice to write and new writers shouldn't do it--or if you are knocking someone for the voice they used and a quick check showed you messed up voice with tense, I don't really have to read the whole story to be able to say that you have your head up where the sun don't shine and are misleading the poor writer you are inflicting yourself on.

And, with that, I suppose I can't post on this thread anymore because Elfin is going to continue trolling me here and others are going to comment they aren't interested in us fighting.

So, the thread's all hers. Enjoy her "tell" not "show" performance.

It is the standard reaction of the third-rate politician not to answer the point but to throw up obfuscation pretending he was wronged.

Your reply was a non-sequitor because I agreed with you and your rabid railing just showed you hadn't paid me the courtesy of reading my supportive comments.

Shame on you.

 

[sr71plt]

It is the standard reaction of the third-rate politician not to answer the point but to throw up obfuscation pretending he was wronged.

Your reply was a non-sequitor because I agreed with you and your rabid railing just showed you hadn't paid me the courtesy of reading my supportive comments.

Shame on you.

I did provide a direct answer to your charge--for about the thirtieth time over the past two years.

The specific example didn't need to be explored any further than to illuminate your muddle-headed general guidance. I was responding to your muddle-headed general guidance, not assessing what prompted you to post your idiocy.

There, that's the thirty-first time, and you're still too thickheaded to understand it.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I did provide a direct answer to your charge--for about the thirtieth time over the past two years.

The specific example didn't need to be explored any further than to illuminate your muddle-headed general guidance. I was responding to your muddle-headed general guidance, not assessing what prompted you to post your idiocy.

There, that's the thirty-first time, and you're still too thickheaded to understand it.

Yet again, you can't address current issues. You reply to points irrelevant to the thread. Have you been tested for memory loss? I would love a serious discussion but it seems beyond you at the moment. Should you take a break from the forums to recover your composure?

 

[estragon]

This is My Thread

and you teenaged jackasses can take your crap and flush it somewhere else. My biggest disappointment just now is that neither of you shuts up.

 

[sr71plt]

and you teenaged jackasses can take your crap and flush it somewhere else. My biggest disappointment just now is that neither of you shuts up.

Written twenty-four hours after either one of us had posted anything. Talk about jackasses.

Which is also what I think of anyone who runs a forum thread giving unsolicited negative criticism of stories posted to the story file. This isn't the New Yorker, and you aren't James Wood. Looking at your story ratings here, it looks like you should spend more time on your own writing and less with your nose in the crotches of writers who are posting here for free use and to provide pleasure and haven't asked you for your publicly posted negative two cents.

And forum users don't own threads on Literotica. Perhaps if you sent a check . . .

 

[estragon]

Written twenty-four hours after either one of us had posted anything. Talk about jackasses.

Which is also what I think of anyone who runs a forum thread giving unsolicited negative criticism of stories posted to the story file. This isn't the New Yorker, and you aren't James Wood. Looking at your story ratings here, it looks like you should spend more time on your own writing and less with your nose in the crotches of writers who are posting here for free use and to provide pleasure and haven't asked you for your publicly posted negative two cents.

And forum users don't own threads on Literotica. Perhaps if you sent a check . . .

I told you once. Maybe you didn't get it. I'll try again. Say whatever you like, wherever you like. I will do likewise. Got it?

 

[sr71plt]

I told you once. Maybe you didn't get it. I'll try again. Say whatever you like, wherever you like. I will do likewise. Got it?

And as I have the same privilege, your last post was a waste of time and vitrol, wasn't it? Besides having idiotic timing.

I posted on this thread to respond to personal attacks. You post on this thread to pretend you're superior to other writers at Literotica. So, assessing which one of us is a jackass . . .

I have no intention of being boxed into "have you stopped beating your wife" types of attacks by followup jabs by others for countering them. You want to complain, go directly to Elfin.