GoingBackToBed
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I crave this constantly. Literally every waking moment.
Do men ever actually crave romance?
- Thread starter AdelineL
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I crave this constantly. Literally every waking moment.
TheWhiteBull
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As with anything I think the answer is that humanity is diverse and trying to assign actions/desires solely to certain groups is always going to fail. Obviously some men desire romance and others won’t, with a spectrum in between.
Personally, I do not desire romance. It is a problem in my relationship as my wife is a full-on romantic. Loves rom-coms, harlequin novels, anything and everything to do with romance. So mostly I just act romantic in little spurts every so often because it keeps her happy but it’s mentally, emotionally and physically draining for me to engage in romance.
Personally, I do not desire romance. It is a problem in my relationship as my wife is a full-on romantic. Loves rom-coms, harlequin novels, anything and everything to do with romance. So mostly I just act romantic in little spurts every so often because it keeps her happy but it’s mentally, emotionally and physically draining for me to engage in romance.
Im a romantic man. I enjoy the chase, the fore play that leads to the best of sex.
On a daily basis I do the "little" things that I believe makes a difference. It may be something small like a wink or kiss on the cheek or may be coming home after work and saying lets go out.
I surprised a girl I was dating a few years ago. About a week before Christmas I asked if she had ever been to NYC.........her answer was no. I told her on a Wednesday evening on the phone to get packed for 4 days and I would be by to pick her up the next morning around 8. She said you are kidding. I picked her up and we headed to the airport. She never knew where we were going until she got the boarding ticket. That was a great little weekend trip.
On a daily basis I do the "little" things that I believe makes a difference. It may be something small like a wink or kiss on the cheek or may be coming home after work and saying lets go out.
I surprised a girl I was dating a few years ago. About a week before Christmas I asked if she had ever been to NYC.........her answer was no. I told her on a Wednesday evening on the phone to get packed for 4 days and I would be by to pick her up the next morning around 8. She said you are kidding. I picked her up and we headed to the airport. She never knew where we were going until she got the boarding ticket. That was a great little weekend trip.
TheWhiteBull
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I think you and I probably have differing opinions on what constitutes the definition of romance. For example, “the chase” is not inherently romantic. Neither is foreplay. I can and do engage in either/both of those solely for the sake of personal satisfaction. What makes it romantic (IMO) would be doing those activities in a way that involves or, is predicated upon or builds an intimate emotional connection between the people involved.
nobodyridesforfree
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Wow that hit a bit of insight in the right moment. Hmm. I feel like balance is a practice of intention and action that lives 'in the space between my thoughts' - think that was Viscott. Correct me if wrong, but it plays well with Cervantes' "The road is better than the Inn," at least for me.
The effort of maintaining a mean shows me that someone has felt and experienced, recognized, the efforts in another and chosen to reciprocate in gratitude through action from a genuine love. So many ways to show/share appreciation, acceptance and reward
..jeez, so yeah, there's romance, and the craving lives still
nobodyridesforfree
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yep-in order to fully trust we must accept what it is to be vulnerable. For many, we first have to build a damn bridge just to get to that emotional brain.
Truth through insight is a bitch of an exercise, and for others of us it comes more naturally.
BarbarianTaco
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Having never experienced romance, sex and intimacy I crave it. Sometimes painfully
ctarrantella
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Yes. I feel like I'm the woman in the relationship. I want the romantic encounters. My wife is wham bam onto the next task.
I've tried to make reservations, cook nice dinners, hold hands. Everything!!!
To no avail the last 7-10 years in our marriage.
I've tried to make reservations, cook nice dinners, hold hands. Everything!!!
To no avail the last 7-10 years in our marriage.
That sucks....
All too common ..That sucks....
ctarrantella
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After being on these boards, yes I’m noticing that. I have friends who have divorced and had affairs because of it. I’m nowhere near that, but also figuring that trying to fix the issues and talk about them are over. It’s kinda like I need to suck it up and deal. Outside of this one bedroom issue, my wife is the best.That sucks....
My wife is a lovely person as well. It’s not her “fault” that she’s so shy and doesn’t enjoy sex. It’s just who she is. I’m on the other end of the continuum
ctarrantella
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Yeah. I’m right there with you. My issue is more the frequency. It’s always the last thing on her mind. Never thinks of wow, maybe this is a good time to grab my husband. It’s always me who has to initiate and ask. We average once a week. But the reality is we have a good 2-3 days. Then two weeks with nothing.My wife is a lovely person as well. It’s not her “fault” that she’s so shy and doesn’t enjoy sex. It’s just who she is. I’m on the other end of the continuum
Absolutely. Never pass up romance!
Yes it would be wonderful to be “grabbed,” to know that she thinks of me that way. Once or twice a week - wow. You’re a lucky man but I suspect it’s because you treat her with love too
ctarrantella
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I do. But again, it’s once or twice a week. Then nothing for 10-14 days. Then the same cycle. God forbid we catch her period. Then it’s 3 weeks.
You can sense my frustration. Because the sex is good when we have it.
Id trade places
ctarrantella
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I hear you. After reading these boards I don’t think I have it so bad compared to others. I should stop complaining.Id trade places
But I keep searching for that one thing, one sage piece of advice that will turn things around for us.
I hope you find it!! I think it has to come from the two of you
GoingBackToBed
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Only when I'm breathing.
lc69hunter
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I am definitely a sexual being and kinky as hell, but I am also a sucker for romance, and even get teased about it. What guys don't realize is that most women crave that romance, and it makes them a much more active and sexy partner in the bedroom
Cardinal
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Yes especially when it’s withheld
Romance isn't all about grand gestures and gifts, it can be small acts of love/kindness like wrapping your arms around his waist and kissing his neck as he cooks, or giving his arse a wee slap or pinch as you pass, sending a text while he's at work telling him your thinking of him... I think everyone enjoys feeling special in that way!
AchtungNight
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Answering as a man, sure, I’m good with romance. Put on some great perfume and music, make me a good meal, buy me a great video game or a nice new shirt. But it’s also important that you not have a game behind it. No hidden agenda. Don’t make me uncomfortable. And please, have gratitude waiting at some point if I earn it. Okay? Thx.
