Do we need sex?

[SpectreT]

Neither would I. And I cannot help but wonder how many people use sex to get close to that special place that makes things feel warm and fuzzy.

And, lacking the connection, they keep using their bodies to keep searching for that feeling.

Good question.

Hell, the reason I'm still alone, is I'm still looking for that connection. Hope isn't dead yet; those tubes and machines and all. As much of a horny bastard as I am (My birthday is May 6. So was Sigmund Freud's. You can do the astrological math. ), Sex isn't enough; I know that on some level I don't even need to think about. But yeah, I wonder about those who don't know that sort of thing way down deep, or ignore it.

 

[ppaddleman]

cranky

So the next time you see a cranky woman and you hear someone snidely remark "Oh, she just needs to get laid." It just might be true!
============================
It might be true but it rarely is.
It's only true when some guy, any guy, takes off her pants and gives her the works and she magically goes from cranky to lovely.

Most of them are just cranky,and thats why they arent getting any sex. Guys don't want to know about them. The crankyness is why they arent getting laid. Not the other way round.
the rest aren't in withdrawl from the sex but from the whole relatinnship. The sex, the love, the lot.

 

[Ebonyfire]

So the next time you see a cranky woman and you hear someone snidely remark "Oh, she just needs to get laid." It just might be true!
============================
It might be true but it rarely is.
It's only true when some guy, any guy, takes off her pants and gives her the works and she magically goes from cranky to lovely.

Most of them are just cranky,and thats why they arent getting any sex. Guys don't want to know about them. The crankyness is why they arent getting laid. Not the other way round.
the rest aren't in withdrawl from the sex but from the whole relatinnship. The sex, the love, the lot.

Yep sometimes women (and men) are cranky because they need to be touched.

Eb

 

[Hester]

In a perfect world, new individuals would be formed by the fusion of two isogametes, each the product of meiotic division.

wouldn't binary fission be a lot easier and give the same result?

 

[Xelebes]

I just want to fuck you like an animal...
Do you bite the hand that feeds?

 

[Private_Label]

Do I need sex? No. There are times my body craves it.

What I do need is physical touch. This can be a hug, holding hands, someone scratching my back for me. For me personally, touch is a need far greater than sex.

 

[FurryFury]

I need it.

I'm trying to make up for lost time afterall.

I can get it lots of ways though.

Fury

 

[dominiqque]

If you don’t have enough of something -- i.e. you have a deficit -- you feel the need. But if you get all you need, you feel nothing at all!

As the old blues song goes, “you don’t miss your water till your well runs dry!”

In the same way, our bodies, when it lacks a certain substance, develops a hunger for it; When it gets enough of it, then the hunger stops.

Sounds just like a drug does'n't it?

 

[littlegirlslut]

I would say that no, I don't "need" sex. I've gone through somewhat long periods of being celebate. Part of that was when I figured out that vanilla just wasn't for me so much.

I've found that since I've become more involved in an M/s and BDSM relationship - there are certain aspects of sex I crave. It's the release that I seem to need - but not just orgasm - pain with the orgasm. That release of adreneline is HUGE for me. Granted there are other ways to get that release for me - but they are much more dangerous and expensive.

And while I know I don't need Him for survival - my skin crawls longing for Him. Not sexually but just having Him hold me and cuddle me and seeing the light in His eyes and the tone of voice when He's happy or sad.

 

[cati]

Oh I think the hormone you were referring to is OXYTOCIN, sometimes called the "cuddle chemical" Our levels rise during kissing and foreplay and peak during orgasm. That's why a women should never ever have sex with someone she's just met, since it's this chemical that tells us that "Hey I really like this guy, I feel like we've bonded, and you so you have, too late to discover the guys's really a jerk. Sheesh how often have I done that?

 

[littlegirlslut]

Oh I think the hormone you were referring to is OXYTOCIN, sometimes called the "cuddle chemical" Our levels rise during kissing and foreplay and peak during orgasm. That's why a women should never ever have sex with someone she's just met, since it's this chemical that tells us that "Hey I really like this guy, I feel like we've bonded, and you so you have, too late to discover the guys's really a jerk. Sheesh how often have I done that?

I had no idea this existed. Great to learn something new each day.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Just a thought from another direction...we do 'need' sex from the perspective of keeping the human species going...of course there are test tubes, but even then (so far) we need a male to get it on and donate the necessary product. So perhaps it is just as vital a need as food, water and shelter, otherwise we would not be here anymore and the insects would have it all to themselves.

Catalina

 

[queenofkings]

Simple question I know, but how many of you would be truly unhappy without some form of it in your lives.
As human beings who "need" certain things in their lives to be happy and healthy, such as food, shelter, money etc. couldn't sex be classified among them, as a "physical" need? I mean think of all the good it does for us *s

Many people are literally addicted to the endorphins that are released during sex.. These endorphins are like natural extacy.. So technically sex is as addicting as smoking, drink or drugs.. So some people NEED sex to get their fix...get it?​

 

[RJMasters]

To be honest I am not sure. I know for me it feels like a need. I think that sexual behavior can be addicting, and just like any addictive behavior, the reality is it is not needed to live, but try telling that to someone going through withdrawals. Not a pretty sight.

This topic also brings to mind those in prison, who normally would not seek out sex with the same gender, but do. Many jokes are made about this cellmate named bubba. In a lot of cases, before bubba is sent to prison, he certainly had no desire to have sex with a man, but once inside, he forcibly uses a cellmate for sex or make an agreement with said cellmate to provide protection in exchange for sexual favors. Certainly this behavior is not limited to just males, as female prisons also have similar occurrences.

One wonders what makes one such as bubba make such a decison. Is it simply because he wants to get off....or perhaps are other factors involved such as exerting dominance attached to such circumstances? It makes me believe that there is more here to discuss than just physical pleasure and having a need for that.

It may be that sex is a result of a "need" for a person who is Dominant by nature, to express dominance. The dominant may not need sex, but certainly would need to express dominance if that is who they are. Any sexual behavior would have certain attachments to that dominant side, therefore sex would be seen as a need because of these deeper seated attachments. This of course could be the same for submissives in finding submission through sexual channels. The sex is but a vehicle in which to experience or find expression for the deeper need of submission. A submissive may not need sex, but can and do find ways of experiencing submission through sex.

Because the nature of sexual experience are so personal, pleasurable and intimate, attachments which are formed are intense, deep, and strong. I think it is because of these attachments which can make sex a need, because its no longer just about getting an orgasm.

Perhaps that is one of the chief differences between those who are vanilla in what they are looking for out of sex and someone who is dominant or submissive and what they get out of sex. It is the additional added element of expressing dominance and submission through sex which makes the difference and why it is more of a need, and also why vanilla sex is not satisfying to those into D/s - BDSM.

Just some thoughts.

 

[graceanne]

A need is something that you'll die without. You need air, you need food, you need shelter. Do you need sex? No, you will live if you dn't get it.

That said I really really WANT sex on a regular basis.

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

To be honest I am not sure. I know for me it feels like a need. I think that sexual behavior can be addicting, and just like any addictive behavior, the reality is it is not needed to live, but try telling that to someone going through withdrawals. Not a pretty sight.

This topic also brings to mind those in prison, who normally would not seek out sex with the same gender, but do. Many jokes are made about this cellmate named bubba. In a lot of cases, before bubba is sent to prison, he certainly had no desire to have sex with a man, but once inside, he forcibly uses a cellmate for sex or make an agreement with said cellmate to provide protection in exchange for sexual favors. Certainly this behavior is not limited to just males, as female prisons also have similar occurrences.

One wonders what makes one such as bubba make such a decison. Is it simply because he wants to get off....or perhaps are other factors involved such as exerting dominance attached to such circumstances? It makes me believe that there is more here to discuss than just physical pleasure and having a need for that.

It may be that sex is a result of a "need" for a person who is Dominant by nature, to express dominance. The dominant may not need sex, but certainly would need to express dominance if that is who they are. Any sexual behavior would have certain attachments to that dominant side, therefore sex would be seen as a need because of these deeper seated attachments. This of course could be the same for submissives in finding submission through sexual channels. The sex is but a vehicle in which to experience or find expression for the deeper need of submission. A submissive may not need sex, but can and do find ways of experiencing submission through sex.

Because the nature of sexual experience are so personal, pleasurable and intimate, attachments which are formed are intense, deep, and strong. I think it is because of these attachments which can make sex a need, because its no longer just about getting an orgasm.

Perhaps that is one of the chief differences between those who are vanilla in what they are looking for out of sex and someone who is dominant or submissive and what they get out of sex. It is the additional added element of expressing dominance and submission through sex which makes the difference and why it is more of a need, and also why vanilla sex is not satisfying to those into D/s - BDSM.

Just some thoughts.

Looks up at post above ......I think you nailed it RJ......well you know what I mean.

Seriously had I been able to articulate my opinion/thoughts as succinctly I would say I agree with RJMasters opinion . Perhaps adding a little more of the affirmation that skin to skin expression reinforcing emotional and intellectual intimacy is highly desireable.

 

[RJMasters]

A need is something that you'll die without. You need air, you need food, you need shelter. Do you need sex? No, you will live if you dn't get it.

That said I really really WANT sex on a regular basis.

Sometimes there are more ways to dieing than just not breathing.

Ever seen the listless empty look of a lion who has been put into captivity? Still alive....sure....but dead inside. See earlier post to put this comment into context...

 

[graceanne]

I've never seen anyone die that way from lack of sex either. Have you?

 

[RJMasters]

I've never seen anyone die that way from lack of sex either. Have you?

Lack of normal sex....nope/maybe if you count unhappy marraiges. Lack of sex which allows expression of D/s...yep, I know people who feel dead inside and have given up completely. Mostly a defensive mechanism to numb any kind of feeling in order to not have to deal with the reality.

Is it their own fault for giving up or being numb? Perhaps, but it happens to many people.

 

[graceanne]

Lack of normal sex....nope/maybe if you count unhappy marraiges. Lack of sex which allows expression of D/s...yep, I know people who feel dead inside and have given up completely. Mostly a defensive mechanism to numb any kind of feeling in order to not have to deal with the reality.

Is it their own fault for giving up or being numb? Perhaps, but it happens to many people.

There's normally more going on than lack of normal sex, or even lack of D/s sex. They don't emotionally die cause they aren't getting the kind of sex they want.

Marriages don't fail cause the sex is boring. They fail for the reason behind the boring sex. One partner doesn't care enough about the other partner to do what it takes for good sex. Either that or they've begun to take their partner for granted. It's not the sex that's the problem, it's the underlying attitude that causes the bad sex.

 

[RJMasters]

There's normally more going on than lack of normal sex, or even lack of D/s sex. They don't emotionally die cause they aren't getting the kind of sex they want.

Marriages don't fail cause the sex is boring. They fail for the reason behind the boring sex. One partner doesn't care enough about the other partner to do what it takes for good sex. Either that or they've begun to take their partner for granted. It's not the sex that's the problem, it's the underlying attitude that causes the bad sex.

ummmm....yeah...that's why I said my comment was in context to the first post, specifically this part of it. The underlying attitudes and attachments that are embedded into sex and are what often make it a need or not.

It may be that sex is a result of a "need" for a person who is Dominant by nature, to express dominance. The dominant may not need sex, but certainly would need to express dominance if that is who they are. Any sexual behavior would have certain attachments to that dominant side, therefore sex would be seen as a need because of these deeper seated attachments. This of course could be the same for submissives in finding submission through sexual channels. The sex is but a vehicle in which to experience or find expression for the deeper need of submission. A submissive may not need sex, but can and do find ways of experiencing submission through sex.

 

[catalina_francisco]

It actually could be possible to die from a lack of sex if it is something which has an effect on your mental well being. There is a belief by many health professionals (and others) that anything which effects a person mentally (eg. rape, child abuse, etc.) cacn attract particular illnesses and/or illness in areas of the body directly related to the reason for the initial problem (eg. rape developing into cervical or breast cancer). I have worked with a psychologist who worked with women in a hospital cancer unit who had evidence of a distinct change in their condition following therapy which dealt with the life incident , often defying what the doctors and science said was unavoidable. For someone who has a strong need of sexual relationships to feel happy, fulfilled, stable, I can see how it could have similar life threatening results in terms of disease resulting from that lack in their lives over a long period of time

Catalina

 

[saw_man1]

It actually could be possible to die from a lack of sex if it is something which has an effect on your mental well being. There is a belief by many health professionals (and others) that anything which effects a person mentally (eg. rape, child abuse, etc.) cacn attract particular illnesses and/or illness in areas of the body directly related to the reason for the initial problem (eg. rape developing into cervical or breast cancer). I have worked with a psychologist who worked with women in a hospital cancer unit who had evidence of a distinct change in their condition following therapy which dealt with the life incident , often defying what the doctors and science said was unavoidable. For someone who has a strong need of sexual relationships to feel happy, fulfilled, stable, I can see how it could have similar life threatening results in terms of disease resulting from that lack in their lives over a long period of time

Catalina

I tried that same line when I was in High School.

 

[RJMasters]

I tried that same line when I was in High School.

Although the humor is not lost in using such a line as..."I'm gonna die if I don't get sex"...or "My mental stability is at stake here"...

Back in the day many illnesses were treated based upon the well-being of a patient as medicine had not evolved to the point to treat certain things. As medicine evolved, there seemed to be a movement away from taking into consideration certain aspects of a person's well-being, as everything could be treatable by a pill or an operation.

It is only in recent years that you see medical and insurance organizations starting to realize that the best kind of care takes into consideration the emotional and mental aspects of treatment along with medicines.

There is a direct correlation between the wellness of a person and their will to live. It stands to reason, that which can help strengthen a person's will to live, would have beneficial results in combination to whatever medical treatment they might be recieving.

It may sound outlandish to think a doctor would prescribe daily blow jobs as a form of a treatment...everyone probably snickers at such a thought...yet how many relationship/marraige counselors do infact offer simillar adivce for couples to engage in sexual activity as a means of increasing desire and stimulation towards one another?

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Small Sideline here...........

Wasn't there a stage where Docters 'treated' woman for 'nervous complaints' with the precusors to the modern vibrator ?